The sun beamed down with a warm glow to the magnificent city of Canterlot, capital of Equestria. The white and purple buildings shimmered with a brilliance that couldn't be matched by most jewels. The whole city, including the market district, was alive with commotion. Ponies of every shape, color and size flooded the cobblestone roads to the brim. Their gaze, as a whole, was fixed on the magnificent gold and white castle. Today was a special day, one that had not been seen in a very long time.
Today was the day a new princess was to be crowned.
No matter how packed it was outside, the castle was ten times worse. Ponies lined every imaginable corridor, each craning their necks to catch a glimpse. Some pegasi floated in the air along with some adept unicorns cloaked in magic, something the Royal Guard didn't like. One of them, a sentry in the standard issue armor named Clyde, glared at several pegasi who hovered above him. He had already faced enough hysterical ponies today, many of which claimed they were part of history by being here. In truth, the guard didn't believe that in the slightest because to him, it was just another day of keeping the peace, like coercing some pegasi to land after receiving complaints about popcorn falling the heads of the guests.
As the guard spoke up, the sound of trumpets broke through the miscellaneous chatter and caught everypony's attention. On the far side of the main hallway, Royal Guards lined up and saluted, marking the edges of the long red carpet leading through the castle's many corridors straight to the coronation room where Princesses Celestia, Luna and Cadance waited. The carpet started at a doorway that had remained shut and was heavily guarded all day by no less than the best guards available, a mix of both Solar and Lunar guards from the princesses' own bodyguard detachments. Two of them still stood at the doorway, staring straight ahead. One was a white pegasus with a red mane and tail, different from the typical blue maned guards.
The turquoise eyes of the pony remained resolutely forward. Over top of her armor sat a shiny golden cloak, embroidered with the symbol of the sun, Princess Celestia's cutie mark. Under one of her wings sat a rather large halberd, a shining steel weapon that had a rounded blade that bore the resemblance to the sun. All in all, she was every inch a member of the Solar Guard, or a Goldencloak as they were commonly known.
Next to her stood a pony inverse from her shining appearence. The stallion stood dressed in his best dress armor, a purple and dark blue material with many points and edges. Over top of his articulated plates of armor sat a purple cloak embroidered with a crescent moon above the black night. With the hood drawn over his head, the only things distinguishable about him was his exposed legs and his tail, pale gray and midnight black. The halberd he carried was similar to the Goldencloak's, but the blade was concave to resemble the crescent moon instead of the sun. He rightly shone with the pride of the Lunar Guard, or rather, the elite bodyguard of Princess Luna, the Zodiac.
The two ponies spun to face each other, staring into nothing. In a series of crisp, well rehearsed movements, the two opened the doors to reveal a procession of guards, both Solar and Lunar, fanned around a purple alicorn who smiled sheepishly. At the very front stood two ponies, a pegasus and a bat pony. The pegasus had a white pelt, blonde hair and fiery red eyes that somehow looked like they were crystalized. He wore similar armor to the Goldencloak outside the door, who saluted to him, but his was much more regal. On his back rested a sparkling set of armor very different from the typical Royal Guard. Instead of one big plate, enchanted silvery chain mail wrapped around the pony's neck and stretched down his back, all the way to his flank. On top of the chain mail sat a stunning row of articulated golden plates, starting at a collar around his neck and flowing down to his flank and wrapping to his sides. A slightly larger cloak along with a tall armored collar lead to a turquoise star on his chest. It was the armor of an officer.
Next to him, the bat pony bounced slightly in place, containing her excitement as best she could. A stifled smile at the corner of her mouth was evident, along with her leathery wings occasionally shivering as they pressed firmly against her sides. She wore a more formal version of the Lunar Guard armor, a lighter version similar to the pegasus she stood next to. It had purple articulated plates down her back, but a sapphire eye graced her armor instead of a star. She had a much less pronounced collar, but a more stylish set of embroidery in her cloak.
Before they began marching, the pegasus mumbled, "Can you just act professional for once?"
As they took the first steps in the procession, the bat pony flapped her right wing once, messing up the pegasus's mane and flopping it over onto his eyes. Behind them, the new princess chuckled and the bat pony barely contained a fit of laughter, snorting slightly and drawing some curious looks from the crowd behind the guards. The pegasus, however, kept his cool and marched forward with his annoying partner. He could barely see, but his days of practice had taught him the route he was supposed to walk.
Once they were through the doorway, the pegasus risked a mumble again.
"Very mature, Angel," he grumbled.
"You asked for it!" she hissed back, not moving her lips.
The parade outside went nowhere near as planned. Instead of staying in her carriage, the newly crowned Princess Sparkle decided to march along with her friends, climb a wall meant for Royal Guard use only and fly off, leaving some very flustered and, quite frankly, unhappy guards. The white pegasus guard who led her, Comet Burst, was the commanding officer of the procession. He had just put up with an hour and fifteen minutes of complaints from the guards and now had buried his head into his desk. It was unprofessional, of course, but Comet was just too tired to care. The coronation was sprung on him with only a few days to prepare, assemble enough guards and execute. Many thought it was a job Shining Armor pushed on him so he could not worry about work that day. It was his sister being crowned, after all.
With the sun setting in the distance, Comet sighed heavily. He missed the days when he was guarding Philomena, Princess Celestia's prized pet phoenix. Sure, it was less pay and a lower rank, but it came with a lot less stress. As he reveled with his head still plastered to the desk, a sharp knock came from his door. Sitting straight up and stiffening his back, Comet barely had time to look professional as his commanding officer, Shining Armor, trotted in.
"Sir," Comet said in his professional tone while saluting him.
Shining half heartedly returned the salute and sighed, "At ease." Comet relaxed his spine a little, but not enough to be noticed. Shining trotted over to the window and stared out, filling Comet with a sense of dread. "Hey, you know you can speak freely to me, right?" the white unicorn asked.
"Yes, sir," Comet replied briskly.
"Good," Shining retorted. He stayed silent for a few seconds, but continued. "You are aware that the new princess is my own sister, right?"
"Yes."
"You also know this means we need a new guard detachment for her, correct?"
"I believe so, yes."
Shining sighed heavily again before continuing. "I suspect you also know that I have to return to the Crystal Empire with my wife, correct?"
"Yes, sir," Comet replied.
Turning to face the pegasus, Shining's face was hardened to almost a glare. "That means my sister will need somepony to protect her until I have assembled a group dedicated to her. The most logical option is to have you and the Goldencloaks watch her for now, but I have my concerns."
Comet had been nervous before, but now he was terrified. "S-sir?" he stammered.
"I know what you did at the Gala," Shining spoke in a deadly serious tone. "I know about you aiding the changeling leaders escape. You are very lucky to have the position you're in now, since punishment for treason is to be stripped of your guard status and banished."
Comet's pupils shrunk to pinpricks as his superior officer told him that. Yes, he knew what he did was wrong and that many in the guard whispered about it. Indeed, he had been part of an attack on the princesses and, although proven innocent, was still considered a traitor by many. Even Shining wasn't immune to the fears that, with him being so close to Princess Celestia, another attack could happen and most likely succeed.
Comet lowered his head and tried to think of something to say as the words hung in the air. It tormented him to know that despite helping to thwart the attack and saving the lives of his marefriend and countless other ponies, he was still a traitor. He had set out to become a Royal Guard so he could protect the Princesses and ponies of every kind, especially those who couldn't defend themselves, but he had never felt farther from his goal. As Comet found his voice, Shining continued.
"Still," he sighed and Comet looked up. "I know what it's like to be considered a traitor. It's ironic, you know, that I was used in a plot to destroy Equestria and I'm still Captain of the Guard. You were used in a similar way and now you're one of the ponies closest to Celestia."
The white unicorn cracked a grin, breaking the tension in the room. "I know it's difficult for you, but the fact you can handle the ridicule and do so with a straight face is a great quality in any guard."
"Thank you, sir," Comet spoke up. It made him feel better that his superior officer sympathized with him.
"So, that's why you'll be in charge of Celestia's guard and my own sister's for the time being," Shining stated proudly.
It took Comet longer than he thought to compose himself after that, giving Shining something to laugh about.
"Don't worry about it too much," he chuckled, "She'll most likely be staying here in Canterlot until I can assemble and train a guard for her, but she may want to take an impromptu trip to Ponyville to see her friends. I've already spoken to Commander Angel about using some of the Zodiac to aid in her guard detail, so you won't be too shorthoofed."
Almost as if he had summoned her by using her name, the door flew open to reveal the craziest mare in Equestria other than Pinkie Pie, who Shining assured was way worse. Minus her cloak, the bat pony stood there with a grin that almost didn't fit her face. She had her leathery bat wings spread, which Comet learned meant she was really excited, and trotted into the office. Her big golden eyes were entrancing to him, which of course made him feel like a blush was coming on. Breaking away to stifle the onset of blood rushing to his cheeks, Comet caught a moment of eye contact with the mare, who seemed to grin slightly wider if that were possible.
Shining didn't seem to catch that since he was already looking at the leader of the Zodiac, but still grinned at the sight of her. "Hello there, Angel. We were just talking about you."
"Is this about the incident with Philomena and the chocolate cake?" she asked innocently, wiping her excited look from her face. "Because I swear I had nothing to do with the table flipping in front of Princess Luna."
Shining burst out laughing at that, remembering the incident. "N-no, Angel. We're talking about my sister's guard status," he wheezed, wiping a tear from his eye. Pinkie Pie learned quickly that day not to make phoenixes angry.
After about an hour, Shining said his goodbyes. The three ponies had talked about guard detachments the whole time, a rather boring subject to Angel. Once Shining left and the door shut, the bat pony turned to the pegasus and almost sneered at him.
"So, my guards aren't good enough to handle two princesses?" she asked in a sarcastic tone.
Comet's gaze dropped to an unimpressed look as he responded. "You do realize she's awake during the day, right?"
"So?" Angel replied defensively, "I was awake all day back when we first started!"
"You were also ten times more annoying," Comet deadpanned.
Angel huffed at that, but slowly slinked her way over to the pony. "Is that to say I'm not as annoying to you?" she asked in a different tone.
"You're still annoying. I just can't yell at you now," he replied sarcastically.
"You still yell at me all the time!" she cried out, acting as if taken aback. It was true that whenever the other guards weren't around or she really turned up the annoying level, Comet tended to yell at her. However, working with Angel for two years had given him a lot of tolerance to her annoying ways.
By now, Angel was right next to Comet, smiling at him and narrowing her eyes. She had to look up to him since Comet was a full head taller than her, but she liked that. Comet, on the other hoof, merely regarded her with the same expression he always did, a stare that meant he knew she was up to no good.
"You know," Angel cooed, "I was worried Shining had caught on to us."
"Is that why you mentioned the cake incident? Because he knows you and Pinkie Pie planned that surprise together."
Angel began to close the gap between their faces and whispered, "You were in on it too. I just had to... convince you."
"You nearly stuffed me in the cake."
At that, Angel pressed her lips against Comet's, silencing his protests. As the two stayed that way, Angel felt a set of strong legs slowly wrap around her. She loved that feeling and as they broke away, she nuzzled her head into Comet's chest. She always felt safe and warm when Comet hugged her and never wanted to leave. It was almost like he was made specifically for her since he was able to hug her easily, had a warm chest and a steady heartbeat she could hear.
Comet, for his part, rested his chin on the top of her head as he held her. Sure it was stressful being the leader of the Goldencloaks, but the perks of working closely with Angel and being able to see her every night made it worthwhile to him. She was what he wanted in a mare, a fun loving, happy screwball who always made him smile. As they sat there, Comet managed to speak up.
"It's moments like this that make me the happiest," he whispered to Angel. "When it's just you and me and nopony else."
She responded by nuzzling his chest further and sighing heavily in contentment. After a few more minutes passed, Angel began to wriggle her way out of his grip and slowly walked towards the door, leaving Comet all alone at his desk.
"Sorry, but I've got my job to do," she squeaked. "I'll see you in the morning, kay?"
Comet just grinned and nodded as she walked out the door. Angel was a mare any stallion would die to have, and she was all his. Looking outside, he saw the quarter moon rising slowly in the blue sky dotted with a few stars. It was hard for him to imagine that two years ago, before meeting Angel, he was a sad and depressed pony with no friends and a ton of regrets. It was funny how quickly life could change. At that, Comet gathered up the papers on his desk, put them into several files marked "Urgent", "Important" and "To Be Read". After closing up his office, he made his way over to the quarters he was given as part of his promotion, a room on the floor above the barracks.
Angel trotted happily over to the tower known as Luna's Observatory, humming as she walked. She was just too happy to let anything ruin her mood when a voice called out, "Hey."
Stopping to look around, the bat pony searched for the source of the voice when a shadow dropped silently behind her. Angel froze for a second before turning to attack the shadow, but it deftly stopped her attack. Holding her hoof in midair, the shadow revealed itself to be another bat pony. He was slightly larger than Angel, but sported similar golden eyes, the same toothy grin and a scar above his left eye.
Angel pulled her hoof back and said in an official tone, "What is the matter, Midnight Glow?"
"Aw, come on," the stallion whined. "Is that any way to greet your half brother?"
Angel narrowed her eyes and said, "Just because we share the same mother doesn't mean you get special treatment."
"Ouch, pull those claws back," Midnight said as he sucked on his teeth.
Even though they were related, Angel and Midnight had a strained relationship. Being the first foal born to her mother after she left her father, Angel secretly loathed Midnight's company. He always reminded her of the unpleasant time in her life when her mother abandoned her and her father to go off and save the colony, all the while trying to convince Angel to do the same. With live births so rare among bat ponies, Angel wanted to avoid a life of bearing more foals than she could count.
"Sorry," she replied in a lighter tone, "What is the problem, Midnight?"
Midnight grinned, unfazed by her.
"Just checking up on my sister!" he stated happily.
"Half sister," Angel pointed out. "I'm fine. How are you and Valyrie doing?"
"Oh, she's happy," he chatted. "She's dealing with an upset family who wants her to return, but she never complains about it."
"Oh, well that's good," Angel replied. "I gotta get going, but we can talk more when I make my rounds, kay?"
"Sounds good."
"See ya," Angel said as she trotted away.
Midnight Glow watched her leave and made his way over to his post. Angel was a difficult pony to figure out. One moment she was overly happy, but when he showed up she turned sullen and hostile. He knew why, but he still made the effort to be friends with her. Midnight had never really met his mother since she was the only fertile mare in the colony and as such was ordered to keep having foals with all the stallions she could. Angel didn't want to know, but Midnight knew of at least eleven other half siblings they shared, each ranging from a year younger than Midnight to a newborn.
Still, he imagined it was worse for Angel who had gotten attached to her mother. Midnight Glow's father was all the family he had with the exception of his uncle who lived in a colony far away. At least Angel had Comet to rely on here while Midnight had Valyrie, the only gryffon in the castle.
It was an odd thing, dating a gryffon. Midnight had known she was Angel and Comet's friend and that she had helped in defending the castle from the invasion a year ago, but that didn't change his view on her. After meeting her in the infirmary, the two became steadily interested in one another. Valyrie was brash, loud and never apologized, but that made her more appealing to Midnight. She was so radically different than the mares he was used to seeing in his colony who were often very soft spoken and shy, mostly due to their infertility. Valyrie was a blast of fresh air with an exotic appeal.
Once at his post on the outer wall, Midnight let his thoughts roam as he scanned the city below. It was just another day after all.
First pass: Very nice, like Feather Scratch said very cinematic! Strong visuals are important near the beginning; it's the only chance you'll have to really ingrain the images into the readers' minds.
Second pass:
" Celestia's sun shined brightly from behind some wispy clouds the weather ponies didn't bother with. "
Gah. Weather Report, really? The pan down effect is much more effective on film. Try starting in the castle itself, or at least the streets.
"Some pegasi and unicorns even floated in the air, " How are unicorns floating?
"One of them, a sentry in the standard issue armor, glared at several pegasi who hovered above him." Give this guy a name. Maybe he gets called back later.
"guards from the princess's own bodyguard detachment." princesses' plural possessive. Also, detachments
"One was a white pegasus with a red mane and tail, a quite unusual sight from the typical blue maned guards." This was a little weird until I realized: Are Goldencloaks not seen very ofter around the palace? I think you meant that he was not the usual blue maned type of guard. I would replace 'a quite unusual sight' with 'different' and leave it at that.
"Under one of her wings sat a rather large spear, ending in a pike tip with an axe blade on one side, hook on the opposite and the tip above both." It's called a halberd. An excellent choice for arms (it's what the Pope's Swiss guard traditionally use) but bronies on the whole are nerdy enough to know what a halberd is. Just use the word and leave out the description here.
"All in all, she looked the role of a Solar Guard, or a Goldencloak as they were commonly known." Was she a Goldencloak, or did she just look the part? How about, "All in all, she was every inch a member or the Solar Guard, ..."
"polar opposite " This might just be me, but I hate that phrase. 'inverse'?
"He rightly shone the pride of the Lunar Guard" should be 'He rightly shone with the pride of the Lunar Guard'
"He was large, intimidating and awesome looking." Don't use awesome here. Or ever use the phrase 'awesome looking.'
"The pegasus had a white pelt, blonde hair but fiery red eyes that somehow looked like they were encapsulated in ice." This sentence is missing a word, but I'm not sure which word. 'somehow still looked'? 'they were also encapsulated'? Try a few versions, but play up the contrast. It's a core part of Comet's character, after all: tightly controlled passion.
" a tall armor collar leading to a turquoise star on his chest." armored. Also, why turquoise? Why not amethyst? or did I miss something?
"containing her excitement as best she could." This is telling where you should be showing.
"A stifled smile at the corner of her mouth was evident, along with her leathery wings. " PASSIVE VOICE! I just got finished with another story that did this way to much, which is really only two or three times anyway. I won't say never use passive voice, but it's bloodless and stale. Also, the dependent clause is incomplete, though Feather Scratch caught that too.
" a lighter version similar to the pegasus's. " Which pegasus? (I assume Comet, but it isn't clear enough)
"he complained." This may or may not need to change, but the dialogue should speak for itself.
Words like 'complained', 'opined', 'queried', or *shudder* 'exclaimed' are often a sign of weak dialogue that doesn't express itself well in the first place. i.e., we know he's complaining. This sort of invisible miscue can turn off readers early.
"the bat pony barely contained a fit of laughter." Don't tell us what she didn't do, show us what she did do.
This whole last paragraph is telling, but in this case, that's perfectly okay. Show action, tell downtime. (unless you have a really witty way of telling) Except for this:
"Darkly, Comet thought it was a job Shining Armor pushed on him so he could not worry about work that day." I was going to tell you to clean up the sentence when I realized: You haven't introduced Comet by name yet. Maybe just admit Shining delegated like a boss (pun intended), or say 'his subordinates' felt put upon because Shining didn't want to work that day.
Told you I could do mean.
But hey, you should have seen some of my early drafts...
EDIT: seems like you fixed all that. Looking over it again, I'm liking how life moves on only somewhat smoothly. Waiting for the other shoe to drop...
"She had her leathery bat wings spread, which Comet learned meant she was really excited, and trotted into the office. " Comet had learned (yes, past perfect is right here)
This is a rather ugly infodump... it will probably be better to spread this out over several scenes, including the one where Angel tries to explain this Comet.
This feels a little long for one chapter. More like a chapter and a half. And the last bits with Midnight Glow are really tell-y. Definitely want to spread all that out over the next several chapters, with a few important bits put into the dialogue, i.e.:
"Hello, sister."
""Half-sister" You did this part well, we want more of that.
"Midnight never really knew his mother..." Bring this back up in conversation when Valyrie talks about her mom.
"It was an odd thing, dating a gryffon" Have Angel ask how Valyrie's doing (she is Angel's friend too, after all.) "She's fine, still getting crazy letters from home, but she doesn't get too upset about them anymore." (Or is she just better at hiding it?)
The entire Midnight / Angel conversation should be in the second chapter anyway. I'm not sure if the scene in the office (with SA) should be the end of chapter 1 or the beginning of chapter two.
Fourth Pass:
"climb a wall meant for Royal Guard use only and fly off, leaving some very flustered and, quite frankly, unhappy guards" ...fly off, and leave behind some very flustered and...
" Comet barely had time to look professional as his commanding officer, Shining Armor, trotted in." ...look professional before his commanding...
"Shining half heartedly returned " half-heartedly hyphenate
""Good," Shining retorted. He stayed silent for a few seconds, but continued. "You are aware that the new princess is my own sister, right?"" I feel SA would call Twi his "little sister" here
"craziest mare in Equestria other than Pinkie Pie" This feels like a title, in which case it should be capitalized and separated by single quotes, like so:
"almost didn't fit her face" Almost didn't fit on her face. (the idiom you used suggests a false smile. There is nothing in Equestria more real than Pinkie's smile)
"Pinkie Pie learned quickly that day not to make phoenixes angry." This is a poorly executed noodle incident. Consider revising.
""You're still annoying. I just can't yell at you now," he replied sarcastically." Comet's coming off a bit dickish here; might want to indicate he's joking a little better. Perhaps 'He couldn't keep the corners of his mouth completely down, however.'
"acting as if taken aback" What did she do with her hooves? (She placed one against her heart as though she were hurt, the other extended out in standard dramatic fashion)
"of tolerance to her annoying ways." Use another word for annoying here. 'manic'?
"Angel froze for a second before turning to attack the shadow" I thought Angel was a little more badass than that. I'd think she'd get a good kick in (even if it didn't quite connect) rather than being overpowered by her inferiors.
Overall good. I might have broken this into three separate chapters, but I tend to favor short chapters.
Huzzah! a sequel!
I just saw this and went:
OhmygoshOhmygoshOhmygoshOhmygoshOhmygosh
Right in the middle of me writing a big blog post (about pegasi dressing themselves) this gets posted. Of course.
Anyway, I'll read this when I get done with that.
kapitiseniornet.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/and-so-it-begins1.jpg?w=358&%3Bh=312
Cool beans. Now i have more distractions from my story writing!
Hmmmmm. Continue with this, sir.
YES! Nice to see that one of my favorite Fics is back for another round.
I saw this and i was like EEEEeeeeEEEeEEeEeEeeeEeEeEeEEeEEeeEeEeEe
THIS IS GONNA BE !!!!!SO AWESOME!!!!!
YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!
Huh. Golden Armor II?
No big de-Oh who am I kidding?
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The story shall continue, but I wouldn't recomend doing it until season 4 comes.
0-o
I lick your face in love <3
ah... the memories
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes?
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!!
As an avid and faithful reader of the previous part, I'm definitely excited for this one! Off to a good start!
*Sees this. Jumps around like an idiot. Parents look at me like I'm an idiot* I DONT CARE!!! I LOVE YOU RIGHT NOW!!! YOU. ARE. AMAZING!! ALL OF MY YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES!!!
YESYESYESYESYESYESYSYEYSEYSEYSEYSEYYSESYYSYESSYSEESYEYSAPDORJEKFDIKCLJVKAWERFCX,;Q~!@!##!1!!!!!!!!..............yay.
I love it when an author from my top three favorites writes more stories; it fills dull days with pure awesome!
Keep it up!!
I knew it!! I knew there a sequel somewhere!!!
"Just another day, after all."
Oh, boy. S**t is going to go down so hard. That line just confirms it.
*me the moment I saw this*
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OHMYGODOHMYGODGOLDENARMORPTIIEXISTS!INEEDTOREADIT!MUSTMUSTMUSTREAD!
*me after reading it*
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You have earned this:
i literally started to just exhale loudly for almost a minute until i actually went over to click and start reading this. and i am so very glad that there is now a part 2
I just started searching the comedy section after a sort of annoying day and then I saw the story. At first I was like . Then I checked the author and clicked the link to double check. THEN I SQUEED AS HARD AS I COULD AND INSTANTLY FAVED! I am so glad this was continued.
It begins anew! The adventures of Clyde the Guardpony and Friends!
The moment i saw this i popped a blood vessel. IT FELT GOOD
Normally I'm a little skeptical about sequels, but this one doesn't feel too out of place, and does feel almost required in a few respects. Plus, your writing is among the best I've seen in here. Carry on.
YES!
And a happy life for Valyrie.....yay!
Yes, bucking YESS!!! one of the best stories I know of...HAS A SEQUEL!!!!
Finally! Those two kiss like it's nothing! Good times await us, I can tell <3 If foals aren't foaled by the end of this story, I'll be disappointed (that is, if pegasi and bat ponies CAN breed)!
good job
have a moustache
-{YAY)
It's finally here
As if a dream comes true.
Whoot! Huzzah for a sequel to one of my favorite fanfics ever. And it's starting off good :D
Wait until she gets pregnant
2530844 ValyrieXMidnight i imagine there baby would be a jet black gryphon with leathery wing and golden eyes also for some reason she gets a cutie mark later on
Woah...
Wow I am really impressed. Your writing skills have really improved, the suspense! I just paused in the middle of a important school project to read this. Everything's looking good. At first I was a little confused about the part of Pinkie Pie, but then I realized what that meant so I'm good now.
Goldencloaks and Zodiac? Best names ever!
Right, onto the good stuff. The description of everything is amazing, you've really just satisfied me immediately. I like how the scene sort of revolves around Shining Armor and Comet and their conversation, you have really described Shining Armor's personality perfectly.
So for you sir (maybe it's a madam!) I'll give you 4 moustaches out of 5. You really must keep this up, you're on a streak!
From the humble shtty writer.
2530844
troll.me/images/oh-god-no/oh-god-no.jpg
So you did make a sequel. Good job
How come I haven't discovered this sequel 'till now? It's an outrage! My thoughts on this chapter? Good start dude. I kinda like that it starts at the Twilight's coronation and what exactly the characters were doing. Plus, I'm glad things are still good for the group... For now... But anyways, can't wait for the next chapter.
Looking forward to the next chapter. Your story is very well written, good job.
Welcome drama, in any way possible.
Hurray it has begun.
And so old friend you returned at last. Also YOU WILL CONTINUE WRITING BECAUSE SCREW SOCIAL LIVES!
This is just me but I've got a feeling that Midnight and Valyrie may find themselves on a detached assignment to a certain farming town of our mutual knowledge.
Yay i just finished reading the first one and see this Also am i the only one who noticed the Game Of Thrones reference with the Goldencloaks
Glad to see it's back! LET IT BEGIN AGAIN!!!
The Golden Armor is literally my favorite fanfic. I can't WAIT to see what you do with the sequel!