this is my very first fanfic i tryed hard on it so let me know what you think
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 26th Jan, 2012
- offline last seen Aug 7th, 2013
my little broney (MLB)
i have not been a brony for long but i have become quite the hardcore fan
my little broney (MLB)
Joined 26th Jan, 2012 ·
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Hello!
First off, always good to see someone writing. Keep at it!
Secondly, work on spelling and grammar. Keep your dialogue clear- most authors use a new line for every sentence. As it is, I had a hard time reading the story because of it.
Don't worry, we all do that at first. Just focus on the technical details first, they are the easiest to fix and aren't open to interpretation.
Yay! A fellow new fanfic writer! Glad to know I'm not the only one
As I read this, I feel like this is a first person recount of an event more than a story. If that's what you're going for, then fine. However, to tell a story one needs descriptions, setting, and clever ways to depict a situation rather than giving a hoard of facts.
Keep that in mind, proofread, and you should be good! I agree wholeheartedly with SteelEagle. Keep writing, brony
Well you should probably add a description and maybe a picture to the story. At any given time, there is always ten new stories on the story line thing. Most readers will look at the description before actually reading a story. You lose a lot of potential readers if you can't gain their interest with just that paragraph describing the story.
Also, spelling and grammar.
cheers for the feedback and i will try a little harder on my spelling and grammer
Interesting.... the way you wrote the story, it seemed kinda "Dumbed Down", it didnt really seem to interesting with how you wrote it. perhaps if you changed from a first person veiw, fix the grammar, and space the lines.
overall it has potentioal and im not gonna lie, it definitly could be better, longer, and much more fun to read. but, i understand why its like this, your inexpireanced. therefore you havent quite gained the skill forwriting
212682 yer i know im dislectic so write is a hard task for me but that wont stop me writeing
212688
Download a spell checker, that should help you out a little.
216456 i do this on word first but with dislecia i think thats how it's spelt i still dont know if one word is the right word
270678
Dyslexia.
Just read a dictionary or something, it's not that hard.
270767 reading is hard for me to things move left to right if on black and white the only thing im good at is math no joke