After a brutal war, Equestria and the Griffon Commonwealth have "enjoyed" an uneasy peace for the last thirty years. The Griffons are eager to regain lands lost after they were beaten, but the rulers of Equestria wish only for the peace to endure. After several border skirmishes, Princess Celestia sends the new princess, Twilight, to negotiate the peace and keep the two countries from igniting a new war. Luna and Twilight depart from Canterlot on the Rising Moon, the fastest ship in the Equestrian navy, to begin negotiations in the capital of the Griffon Commonwealth.
Cover art by Equestria_Prevails on Deviant Art
Pre-read by Luminary
Chapters (7)
Interesting theme. can't say i've seen it before. decently written and no terrible OCs. I like it
I shall follow it and hopefully enjoy the next chapters n'stuff.
Your off to a fairly good start, just keep it up.
Quick question whats the pairing? *hopes for TwiDash*
Great story so far though. :D
2375979 Thanks for the favorite!
As for the pairing, you'll just have to wait and see .
2379436 lol evil pinkie!
Welp my finger is itching to add this in one of two groups. One more than the other! XD
Again great start and can't wait to see what happens mext!
Hello fans! All eleven of you.
Please feel free to leave any constructive criticisms you may have on my story and to point out any grammar/spelling errors you may see. Thanks for reading!
P.S. I'm looking for skilled pre-readers if you or someone you know is interested, please PM me.
well I loved this chapter. I couldn't really find faults aside a few repeated/missing words here and there but non the less it was great.
This story has a lot of potential.
2550402 Thanks!
Yeah, I've got some big plans for this story. Thanks for reading!
hmm “Stallion-of-war?" I think it would be better to call it a "Mare-of-war" if you want the ships to be shes not Hes. xD
2553225 It does seem strange at first glance, but the human equivalents of this ship are called "men-of-war" or "man-of-wars". The class or type of ship is different then the "gender" of the ship. Brig, Frigate, Man-of-war, Galleon, are types of ships where as you would refer to a specific ship by its name or as "she" or "her".
EDIT: Ignore the above. I have since changed my opinion and all instances of 'stallion-of-war' into 'mare-of-war'.
Yet another great chapter.
Interesting developments xD
2668075 Thanks!
Yay, new chapter!
(InsertPinkieRantHere)
By the way, who's Dusk Mail?
A new friend?!
2674470 Dusk Mail is the batwinged captain of Luna's Royal Guard.
I'm happy you used Lightning Dust in this story. She's one of my favorite ponies, but she doesn't get much love when it comes to the fan base. And she's usually portrayed as a suicidal drunk or a very minor character. So... yay Lightning Dust.
Hey guys. I just moved all the content from the "Chapter 4 Addition" to the end of Chapter 4. So that's where it is in case you were wondering what happened to it.
Hey guys, I put up Chapter 5 this morning but don't think it sent out an update/notification for some reason. Just thought I'd let you know.
(Note to self, you say "Hey guys" a lot.)
Aw, poor Rainbow.
And Thunderlane, getting a little ahead of ourselves, are we? You're not Prince yet, bro.
just now noticed I missed this chapter.... *reads*
Yap TwiThunder was not my first thought for a ship.... never really been a fan of it :/
But that isn't going to stop me from reading...
seriously though I came in here expecting TwiLuna or TwiDash. xD
Also poor Rainbow....
Not bad, not bad. :)
I wonder what a sword tag team of twi and luna would be like.
Rainbow is still trying to deal with almost getting killed. Way to be sensitive, Lightning.
2831869 I can understand that. I don't usually enjoy ships between the mane cast, they always seem so radically out of character for them, unless done well. I'm glad you're sticking around though, I only get a few comments and yours are very much appreciated.
2832080 As for the sword tag team, it would probably go something like this:
'The griffons advanced quickly, confident of victory against their two opponents. Overconfident, it seems. Luna hefted her longsword into the air and brought it down in a wide sweeping arc over her head, smashing through the first griffons defense as though it were butter, and cleaved into his shoulder. He fell to the ground with an agonized scream that faded as he died. The remaining six griffons, more wary now, shifted into a ring around the two alicorns.
"Watch my back," Luna called out to Twilight. Twilight gulped.
"Um I've only had one lesson..." She said, her voice quivering in fear.
"Don't worry, we'll be fine." Luna said with a grim smile.
A griffon carrying a saber in each talon charged towards Twilight, letting out a fierce battle cry. Twilight yelped and brought her sword to bear, frantically intercepting his first strike, she quickly ducked to avoid the second. Luna spun on her heels, her sword extended, catching the griffon just under the chin. She did a full 360 and landed back where she began, ready to face the next attacker. The other griffons charged in, enraged at the loss of their companions. Twilight, in a frenzy, threw her sword out wildly to deflect each incoming blow as it was struck.
The two griffons facing her found it difficult to break her defense. The three facing Luna found it hard to do anything, as they were already dead. Luna tuned to see how Twilight was faring in her own fight. Well, enough to be alive it seemed. She trotted, casually, around behind the griffons and grabbed one's tail with her teeth, yanking him back, away from Twilight. He didn't last long after that.
"C'mon Twilight, I got the rest of them." She said, sounding as though she were in a terrible hurry to get somewhere. The last griffon halted his attack for a moment and glanced around him, Twilight did the same. Then they said in unison. "You killed all of them?!"
The griffon backed away from the two mares, slowly at first, then turned and broke into a gallop. He spread his wings and took off into the air.
"We probably won't be seeing him again." Luna said with a grin.
"That was insane." Twilight gasped, panting loudly.
Luna just laughed.
The End.'
2832422 haha I can understand that. If you want to read at least some TwiDash I recommend you check out stories by a good friend of mine, Bats. Especially his stories "Coming Back" and Spellbound Fireflies." I say those are my fave fics of his atm. They are up there along side my fav TwiDash of all time "A Bluebird's Song."
Also LOL on that sword fight... XD though I doubt they would be in that type of battle so soon after the first lesson. Still a great laugh! :D
Oh, I just realized that after I deleted the 'Chapter 4 Addition' it deleted the comments too. So here's the chart that I posted showing the different ranks and positions of the ponies on the ship, just in case anyone is confused.
Here it is.
2832621 Thanks, I'll check those out sometime.
2833665
Hooray, new chapter!
Woulda enjoyed more if the Tablet I'm using wasn't crashing every couple minutes.
My prediction: Twilight's gonna become a total boss at fighting with a sword.
And I'm happy you aren't forcing the Thunderlane-Twilight thing down our throats like some other writers do.
Also, liking how you put some focus on the honorable traditions of combat.
2834898
How insightful of you. It's those sorts of honorable and respectful principals that I try to live by. It's a shame said principals have been lost over the ages.
Hey guys! This will be the last chapter posted before Brony Con (which I am going to, WOOT!)
Enjoy the chapter!
2965968
Lucky you. Wish I could go this year, but work and stuff.
Anyway, good update. I pretty much betting they get attacked again.
wooo :D
I feel soo sorry for Dash... someone needs to cheer her up.
Why is this on hiatus?
"A cool story is a never finish story"
With my boy Thunderlane as a principal character as well