On a rainy night, Twilight rescues a mysterious young mare who seems to be an alicorn. She takes her in and nurses the alicorn back to health. As the two start to get close however, Twilight learns that this mare isn't what she seems to be. (Twilight/Chrysalis)
I think I might see Chryslight in the future, judging by the characters and tags, which makes reading this obligatory. However, there are some serious technical issues plaguing this piece. By the gods man, figure out your tenses! The constant leaping back and forth between past and present tense made my head hurt, and pretty thoroughly shattered any chance of immersing myself in the story. I'd try and find an editor if I were you, before you post the next chapter.
Seriously hoping for Chryslight in the near future though. If you're just getting my hopes up with those tags, I will be very disappointed...
I genuinely enjoyed it.
Although ^ is right, you should go back and check your tenses... Other than that no major issues, I look forward to seeing this continue...
2134221 if you know anyone that can be an editor for me you can let me know cause I have no idea where to find one.
And don't worry, she will be in it, I am not gonna put a tag of her and not fully bring her into this story. That would be just stupid of me if I did
You have piqued my interest my good author. I love Chrysalis fictions, especially ones shipping her with Twilight (I don't think there is a completed one anywhere though). There are so many ways that this fanfiction go in the next few chapters and I shall eagerly await the updates. Continue onward my good author and bring more Chrysalis into the world.
Excellently plot, details, and grammar. Thumbsupfor me and a favorite
P.s. maybe you can read my story my day in ponyville
2135451
There actually are several completed ones lurking about. You can find them in the Chryslight group.
2135325
I'd recommend finding the "proofreaders and people willing to proofread" group. You'll find plenty of people willing to do it there.
Oh, and just to confirm... Will there be a Chrysalis/Twilight shipping? Because the potential for that is what drew me in.
2135533 3 things
1. Just to clarify, yes, there will be a Chrysalis and Twilight shipping (won't spoil anything more :P)
2. I found a proofreader to help me with the story
and 3. guess I should write that this is a Chrysalis/Twilight thing should I
2137825
Yes, you probably should. Also, now that I have confirmation of Chryslight, I can add this to the Chryslight group! Yay for content!
If you wan't I can help with the proof reading, i'm seeing a few things that could be improved with a little editing but other than that Beautiful start.
2139348 That would be nice. Is it okay if I have more than 1 proofreaders or only 1 is better?
GOODGREATCOOLFANTASTIC"MAGNIFICENT!!!!!!"2137842 There's a group for Chryslight?
2324894
Indeed. Chryslight is awwright! Or something like that. You can get to it from my page.
2325169 very nice. Thanks for letting me know
2325204>>2325169
There is also
Queen Chrysalis's Feeding Ground
Villians of Equestria
The Hero...Queen Chrysalis
For more Changeling stories (Which obviously includes best queen)
it died.