Dysphoria, Arc 3: Canterlot

by thedarkprep

3. Trip to Canterlot: Questions, Answers, and Regrets

3. Trip to Canterlot: Questions, Answers, and Regrets

The train ride to Canterlot from Ponyville was a long trip that one did not commit to without a good reason. The ponies who had designed the carts knew this, and therefore they attempted to make the ride as glamorous and comfortable as possible. Each seat in the compartments was made of the softest pillows available, a combination of cloud, soft textile, and magic, which even the Canterlot elite could not help but be impressed by. The walls of the compartment also radiated regal exuberance with rich tapestries and rugs decorating the carts. The train was essentially a museum exhibit on wheels. And yet, as Rose sat staring into the distance, she might as well have been in the back of a hay cart for the journey.

Rose was wearing a dark robe with a hood that covered most of her face, under which she wore a black skirt and a purple shirt which matched her mane. She was traveling alone in the cart with three unknown ponies, since Octavia had needed to return to Canterlot the same day of her visit, but it had taken a couple of days for Rose to become ready for her trip. For example, she had to take off work, taking a leave of absence for a ‘family emergency’, which this technically qualified as. She also had to prepare her supplies since she was not sure what she might encounter while in Canterlot, and did not want to be caught unaware. Her purple bag was at her side, inside which was her bag of bits, a male outfit, her traveling notebook, identification paperwork, and Octavia’s blade (which she hoped to not use).

Octavia had also suggested that Rose bring some of her friends with her, but she had decided not to. Her main reason was that she honestly did not know what she was dealing with, and did not want to accidentally involve them in something that may be dangerous or that she could not handle. However, if she was honest with herself, there was another reason. She was afraid of what she might find waiting for her in Canterlot.

Rose looked out the window at the immense city in the distance. The city on the mountain overlooking the entirety of Equestria was quickly approaching, with its towering structures and surreal architecture gaining more detail the closer the train got, adding more splendor and magnificence to the already intimidating city.

“I never thought I would ever go back there,” Rose thought before allowing herself a mirthless laugh. “Though apparently I already have.”

She pulled out the front page of the newspaper that Octavia had left with her, examining the photograph while the conversation with Octavia replayed in her head.

She could not deny that this pony looked exactly like her. In fact, this pony was Slant Rhyme more so than she had ever been - he certainly looked happier. She began to dwell on the implications of this as her insecurities found their way to the forefront of her mind in the form of questions.

“Am I who I think I am?” she thought to herself. This was the first of the questions she had asked herself once she understood the situation, but it was also the one that came to mind most frequently.

She knew who she thought she was. She remembered her history and everything having to do with Slant Rhyme, Script, and Evening Rose. However, she also had to remember that she had been near death twice, one of which took a long time in the hospital to recover from. Even during normal circumstances, such events could cause delusions, confusion, and amnesia. In her case it was even more likely since both times she had been kicked and punched in the face, which could have caused a concussion. Now that she thought about it, painful as it was to do so, the last time she was attacked she had suffered from hallucinations.

Then there was this pony, matching her parent’s story and standing as a perfect example of who Slant Rhyme was supposed to be.

“In all honesty,” thought Rose, “it’s completely possible that he is who he says he is and that I’m suffering from the damage to my body.”

Still, even as she thought it, she knew this was not the case. Rose seemed to know things about Slant’s past that this new Slant did not. Furthermore, the chances of a delusion actually matching up to the back story of a real pony on accident are even lower than the chances of this second Slant coming out of nowhere; not by much, but still lower.

Having dealt with the first question, the second one rose to take its place.

“Is going to Canterlot the right thing?”

She had asked this question a lot, but unlike the other one, this one had no relatively clear answer.

The first problem in answering it was that she was not completely sure of why she was going to Canterlot, just that she had to. She had no plans on seeing her family, or on apologizing, or on trying to be accepted back. She was also not planning on making her presence known to the society of Canterlot. She did not even know what she wanted to do with this new pony once she caught him. Did she want to expose him? Get him arrested? Make him leave? And if so, to what end?

She looked at the picture again, allowing her feelings to guide her thoughts.

Here was a pony who was happy filling in for and being Slant Rhyme, somepony that Rose had detested being. In fact, everypony in the picture looked happy. His parents now had the son they always wanted, and this new Slant was happier being a stallion and in the spotlight than she ever would be. It boiled down to the fact that, if forced to choose, her family would want this new Slant and not her.

Did she have any right to tear down the illusion? Was it worth it? She was not attached to the name. She had recently turned in the paperwork to get her name legally changed, so in a few weeks it would not even be her name anymore. She was not attached to her family; they disowned her quite thoroughly last time she was there. So, why was she heading back? Why should she head to Canterlot?

She did not have a good answer to justify her actions. She just felt this need to go and figure things out. Although not the strongest reasons for taking up the struggle, Rose did eventually find two reasons to justify her visit. The first was that, for all she knew, this Slant could be dangerous. Everything about him was shrouded in mystery and he was playing his part too well. She needed to know if he was benign. The second was that there were too many questions to ignore: questions on where he came from, what he was planning, why he was doing it, were all things Rose would like to ask her would be successor. If nothing else she wanted to know how this new pony came to be Slant Rhyme.

Eventually the looming towers of Canterlot were overhead as the train prepared for its final assent up the mountain, meaning it would arrive in town shortly. Rose put everything in her bag, secured it with rope, and adjusted her robe to cover and protect her identity. With everything in place, she disembarked the train, stepping onto the stone-paved streets of what used to be her home.

“Let’s see if I can manage this trip without having to be rescued by Applejack and Rainbow.”

Author's Note:

This was originally attached to the next chapter, but I feel like it is too different in focus and therefore split it.

As such, you get a reprieve chapter to establish the stakes before letting the dominoes fall.

The next two chapters are also short ones (1,686 and 1,698 words respectively), which is why I'm releasing them both this week (Wednesday and Friday). I know I released my schedule ahead of time so I wouldn't have to do this, but I can't help feeling bad about releasing short chapters. It also doesn't help that this is the chapter I've liked least that I've written.

Just know that I'm working at getting better.
The thing that I'm working for after this Arc is done will have WAAY better writing and it's looking like the shortest chapter might be 4,000 words. So.. please don't hate me? Please?

Rawr

In any case, see you Wednesday!

Comments

[Lady Froey]

Building up... Building up...

[ElkinFencer10]

The image I kept getting was "Assassain's Creed V: Canterlot," where Rose sneaks around hidden in a robe and silently assassinates the impostor!

[sorenxoras]

Just got that Slant's name appears to be a small joke, Slant's mind being messed up when she was still using it and slant rhyme being an imperfect rhyme. kinda funny when ya think about it. Was this intended?