APPLEBLOOM : User guide and Manual
Congratulations You've just purchased a APPLE BLOOM unit of your very own! To ensure that you use your new unit to the very best of her abilities and that you avoid painful, unexpected brushes with death, we've provided you with this manual.
WARNING: This unit will always do crazy stunts, complain and always end up covered with tree sap after an attempt to get a Cutie Mark.
Name: Applebloom, Silly Filly, Crusader
Age: Due to size and Maturity estimated 7
Place of Manufacture: Equestria, Ponyville
Height: Default filly height
Weight: Light
Length: Default filly length
Your APPLEBLOOM unit comes with the following accessories:
One (1) ribbon (Always on her head unless she is in Insane or Lair modes)
One (1) random cutie mark crusader activity. (110 activities in total 1 set for 15 USD)
One (1) 15 ton keg of tree sap
One (1) Cutie Mark Crusader Cape
Programming
Your APPLEBLOOM is capable of doing the following:
Cutie Mark Crusader: Your APPLEBLOOM when placed near an activity set, will automatically use it and attempt to get her cutie mark, when she fails, pour the tree sap on her for extra LOLZ. Will wear the Cutie Mark Crusader Cape during this.
Cute Beggar: This cutie filly will lie on the streets with that mind begging stare of hers and automatically make you wallet look as big as this paper. You can easily get millions.
Copycat: In desperation in getting a cutie mark she will copy the programming of any unit
Removal of the APPLEBLOOM unit from her packaging
1. Yell at the top of your lungs "CUTIE MARK" she will teleport out of the box then get sad.
2. Inform a APPLEJACK, BIG MACINTOSH, SCOOTALOO or SWEETIE BELLE to open the box, the sight of a familiar face will coax the filly out of the box.
3. Somehow turn a young child into a filly and make her play a activity, the sight of another blank flank will make her run out of the box and greet the filly.
Reprogramming
Impatient (Default)
Modest (Default)
Happy
Optimistic
Halloween
Helpful
Insane
Liar
Addicted
Role Model
Cannibal (Locked)
Your APPLEBLOOM unit comes with Impatient and Modest already activated.
If you want to change it's programming to Happy, let her use one activity with a SCOOTALOO unit and a SWEETIE BELLE unit.
To change her to optimistic put any MANE 6 units and tell them to ENCOURAGE the unit. She will do activities without rest. To return her to default setting wait a week
Her Halloween mode is always activated 31 of OCTOBER, in which she will make a costume when in presence of a RARITY unit, if not in presence of a RARITY unit she will beg you to buy her one. She will then go out with any other FILLY units until her group either earns 35 kg(s) of candy, or the sun rises.
To change her to helpful, let another CUTIE MARK CRUSADER do an activity and then cover them in the tree sap. In this mode she will help her fellow CRUSADER until she then believes she has helped.
To get her into her Insane mode leave her in the presence of an INSANE PINKIMENA DIANE PIE unit. She will crack, eventually... To return her to her default setting, instruct another CUTIE MARK CRUSADER to help their insane colleague.
To get her into her Addicted mode give her an addictive substance. To revert her to the default state, tell the other CRUSADERS that you can get a Cutie Mark for Detoxifying.
To get her to change to the role model setting, bring a helpful APPLEJACK unit and tell her to encourage her little sister. In this mode she will copy any modes that the APPLEJACK unit is in. A full reboot is required to revert her to regular default state.
A cannibal ZECORA or a cannibal DISCORD will easily crack a young filly like APPLEBLOOM.
Relationship with other units
Applejack: Sister
Cutie Mark Crusaders: All being blank flanks, they help each other and sometimes even speak in unison.
Mane 6: All friends, they all happily help them.
Rest
She sleeps every day at 9'o clock PM and wakes up at 6'o clock AM
Frenquently Asked Questions
Q : Why doesn't she have a cutie mark?
A : We are sending someone to take your brain and give it to a good home where it won't be abused
Q : Seeing my FLUTTERSHY in mating season made my APPLEBLOOM shake and mumble insane mumbles...
A : She probably got raped, reboot her.
Q : My APPLEBLOOM got a cutie mark.
A : Wow... how the fuck did she do that?
Q : PINKAMENA DIANE PIE, nuff said.
A : Call us...
Pure Genius.
"Q : Why doesn't she have a cutie mark?
A : We are sending someone to take your brain and give it to a good home where it won't be abused"
x'D BEST. PART. Oh my God. I love these so much.
um, yes... i have a problem. you see, im a..."contractor", and my applebloom keeps following me. for some reason, she was in insane mode when i got her out of her box, and now, she keeps messing my jobs up. can i get some help here...like now?
Can I order one?
You might want to change the rating to Teen if you're going to include swears and reference sexual acts. Anyways, this is pretty good, although you might want to work on making it more technical, it just doesn't have the same feeling as Timpeni's.
Wait... complete? What about the rest of the Crusaders? I want my Scootaloo dang it! Oh, right, and a Sweetie Belle too.
Is there a Nightmare Moon model?
Q : My APPLEBLOOM got a cutie mark.
A : Wow... how the fuck did she do that?
3.bp.blogspot.com/-ixzpDZcnXl8/Tuiz6B2a32I/AAAAAAAABtw/bHtsm7RE9t0/s1600/lol-guy.jpg
Mine dosen't have a cutie mark, what a rip off!
This amused me. why have I not read these before 8D
I throws teh monies at teh screen but it no order :(
Shouldn't this be an APPLEBLOOM guide? Or have the other two Crusaders in it?
Not as good as the originals by Timpani... but good nonetheless! (Although, the Cave Johnson voice isn't as helpful)
One (1) 15 ton keg of tree sap
perfect.
Q : Seeing my FLUTTERSHY in mating season made my APPLEBLOOM shake and mumble insane mumbles...
A : She probably got raped, reboot her.
ahhh memories of my old Fluttershy unit... I'm still waiting for my new one
Just saying, but you completely stole Timpeni's idea.
Nicely done, anyway.
Most excellent but I wish 2 order a Sweety belle unit if you please.
Also keep up the good work.
the title said manual for cmc not apple bloom only
162225 just a bit.
Finally got my APPLEBLOOM unit into Cannibal setting.
My plan is coming along perfectly.
"1. Yell at the top of your lungs "CUTIE MARK" she will teleport out of the box then get sad."
I suspect the other CMC members were originally going to be part of this, that's a Sweetie Bell model ability.
DO SWEETIE BELLE NEXT!!!
"Q : My APPLEBLOOM got a cutie mark.
A : Wow... how the fuck did she do that?"
I'm sorry, that's just too beautiful.
162295actually she may be like pinkie in the respect of unexplanable abilities.
162225 I'm sure he got permission.
"Q : Why doesn't she have a cutie mark?
A : We are sending someone to take your brain and give it to a good home where it won't be abused"
XDDDDDDDDDDD
"Q : My APPLEBLOOM got a cutie mark.
A : Wow... how the fuck did she do that?"
XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD
"Q : My APPLEBLOOM got a cutie mark.
A : Wow... how the fuck did she do that?"
OMG you are a genius I can't stop giggling
My APPLEBLOOM is making out with my ZECORA unit, how should I handle this? Would it be good to join in?
These user guides and manuals are so funny. Can't wait to see the other CMC members.
Where's depressed mode?
oh dear god i want one
BUY ALL THE CRUSADERS!
lololololol XD
Im all sad now... I want an Apple Bloom...
curse you! this is too funny!
i was at school when I first read this and you got me caught!
you should bunch up all these wonderful little manuals in one story as diff chapters
do derpy next!!
"
Q : Why doesn't she have a cutie mark?
A : We are sending someone to take your brain and give it to a good home where it won't be abused"
So boss
For all of you asking about the others, I'M WORKING ON IT!!!!
I'll save for the 3 for 1 deal.
+ + = ?
I love these
"One (1) 15 ton keg of tree sap"
That is the third-largest amount of tree sap I have EVER seen.
CANNIBAL Discord; I can't imagine how he would do any damage, unless he happens to find another dragon goat pony moose bird alligator thing.
163112 ^^
genius man
I am laughing so hard right now....
You are an evil genius for inventing that kind of stories
I am curious, is there a particular cleaning method to getting rid of tree sap? Pine sap is a PAIN to get off your hands! I can only imagine how hard it will be to get it out of fur!
163446 Buy the PonyTech [c] Sap Cleaner
(Q : My APPLEBLOOM got a cutie mark.
A : Wow... how the fuck did she do that?)
I showed her the episode where she rebuilt the clubhouse and told her carpentry was her special talent. This has upgraded her to Carpenter Applebloom. She is very useful building houses now.
Note : This will also work for the other crusaders. Make them watch the episode. Then tell Sweetie Belle that her special talent is singing. This will upgrade her to Singer Sweetie Belle. Then tell Scootaloo that her special talent is stunt racing/flying. This will upgrade her to Stunt Racer/Flier Scootaloo. This method is guaranteed to work now.
Upgraded units can make lots of money.
Q : My APPLEBLOOM got a cutie mark.
A : Wow... how the fuck did she do that?
COMEDY GOLD
163112 he's a hybrid of all the things. He eats all the animals.
I'm currently fighting off the urge to start marketing my own off-brand pony units like this... if we're all not careful this could turn into a thing...
162334 It's not unexplainable! It's just shun pô! (Japanese for "flash step")