Episode 4: Not doing stuff
Authors Note: Writing whatever I want to try and break writers block. Don't expect much plot in this chapter... or direction.
Deep within the Changeling Hive, two average Changelings sat on a small bench and stared out at a small green pond off in the distance. The two of them had spent little over an hour in silence, as they stared out at the water.
"You ever get the feeling we're supposed to be doing something?" Thorax asked without taking his gaze off the pool of water.
"Every moment of my life" Mandible answered flatly.
"No, I mean at specific moments, do you ever get the feeling that somewhere out in the hive someone or something is waiting for you to do a very specific thing." the Changeling shifted his gaze from to town back towards the nest filled town in some vague hope that maybe that someone would be standing there, ready to tell him what he had to do
"You sure you're still not tuned into the hive mind?"
"You know how much I hate the hive mind" Thorax answered a bit of bitterness in his voice
"Everyone is so snooty there with their "We have come to consensus" and always trying to get everyone to agree with them."
"Well then" Mandible began as he slowly stood up "I don't know what to tell you other than, you strange little bug who believes imaginary Changelings are waiting for him to do something somewhere. But I think I might know something that might take your mind off it."
"What's that?" Thorax asked as he picked himself up off the bench
"Food, I hear Harbinger has been working on some new combinations of Surface food and love. Maybe we should go see if it's any good."
Thorax's eyes narrowed in suspicion "What kind of surface food are we talking about here? It's not going to be another one of those foul "Lemons" is it?"
Mandible let out a laugh at the memory; they had both decided to try some of the new surface food that Harbinger had shipped in from one of the nearby griffin settlements. The two of them had decided they would try some new food. Mandible himself and enjoyed his "Apple" greatly. Sadly though, his friend hadn't shared the same experience with the "Lemon" he had chosen apparently it was too sour for his liking.
"No lemons, I promise" Mandible finished with another chuckle
Meanwhile in the Changeling Castle
“You ever get the feeling you’re supposed to be doing something?” Chrysalis groaned as she rolled about in her throne unable to find a comfortable position.
“Well seeing as you’re the Queen, you should probably be doing something.” Scarab stated flatly
“Oh is someone still a little grumpy that a squirrel managed to defeat them?” The Changeling Queen said jokingly with a light chuckle
“I don’t want to talk about it.” The General once again stated flatly
“Fine, be that way" groaned the Queen as she slowly slid from her throne and onto the floor. "I didn't feel like bugging you anyways." Chrysalis paused as she thought about what she had said "Ha-ha, "Bugging" the boredom had made even a simple bug pun funny to her.
"Gods above we need to get you doing something" Scarab stated with a facehoof as he stared at his Queen who was still sprawled on the floor chuckling to herself. "Up you go!" grunted the Changeling as he hoisted his Queen off the ground and onto his back.
"See it's funny because we're bugs and I was bugging you!" Chrysalis stammered in between her growing fits of laughter.
"Yes, very funny" he said with a forced chuckle as he struggled under his Queen's weight
"There's no need to be sarcastic with him" Chrysalis forced out between laughs "I'm not trying to Antagonize you" there was a slight pause as Chrysalis stared the general directly in the eyes as she did her best to hold back her laughter
"Bahaha, get it! ANTagonize you!"
Scarab did his best to keep his balance as he proceeded to facehoof.
Gods above, I hate my job
Elsewhere in a far off Changeling Nest
"Just hold still Carapace" The Changeling Princess insisted as she continued to mix different beakers and vials together.
"Shouldn't I be wearing one those suits too?" Carapace asked nervously as she pointed at Cocoon's Hazard suit. The Changeling Princess was unrecognizable in her Carapace suit, the faint glow of the Changelings eyes passing through the tinted visor.
"Don't be ridiculous" Cocoon stated flatly "I need the suit to protect me from any possible effects of these chemicals."
"But what about me?!" Pleaded the other Changeling as she watched one of the beakers slowly begin to foam and bubble.
Cocoon let out a light chuckle "How are we going to test these chemicals if you're in a suit?"
"But I should be out building some nests" Carapace stated awkwardly she took a slow step back "It is my job after all" she finished with a forced chuckle
"Don't worry, I pulled some strings and one of my personal servants is taking your place."
"That's very thoughtful Princess" Cara forced a tone of gratefulness "But maybe you should get your servant to do this instead while I go back to work."
Cocoon removed her suits helmet as she placed the beaker back on the counter with the other bubbling concoctions
"It's no trouble" she said with a smile "Thorax and Mandible were supposed to help me today, but I can't seem to find them. So I decided I'd get you to help me instead, we didn't have much time to talk while hanging from that tre-"
"Forgive me Princess!" cried Carapace as she dived out the nest's window and quickly buzzed off.
"Why does nobody want to help me science?" The Changeling Princess asked herself sadly.
Roughly 200 Years later
A lavender Unicorn and a purple baby dragon sat in a tree house library together, not sure what they wanted to do on this fine day.
"Spike, you ever get the feeling that someone, somewhere at some point in time wants to do Science?" The lavender mare asked as she lazily flipped the page in her book
"Nope" the baby dragon answered flatly as he continued to munch on jewels.
"I'm sure someone wants to do science, but they're unable." the mare stated a slight hint of sadness in her voice
Back with the original group of Changeling - 200 years in the past
"So what do you want to do now Mandible?" Thorax asked as he wiped some crumbs from his face
"Maybe we should go see if Cocoon needs us for anything?" mandible answered as he thought about what possible horror their Princess had waiting for them.
"I'm sure she doesn't need us today" Thorax stated awkwardly as he shifted his hooves about. "Besides, if she needed us I told her where we'd be." The changeling continued his lie. Thorax didn't enjoy lying, especially to royalty, but every once in a while he needed a break from having horrible things happen to him. However the fates decreed that on this day, bad things would happen to him.
*Thud*
Thorax groaned as he rubbed his head and slowly picked himself up. A look of horror slowly spread across his face as his world stopped spinning and the face of his "attacker" became clear.
"You" hissed Carapace as I she stared at the dazed Changeling
"Oh hey Cara" Thorax chuckled nervously "What brings you to this side of the hive?"
"Cocoon is trying to perform experiments on me!" growled the changeling mare "You didn't show up, so she decided to use me as her test subject."
"I don't know what you're talking about" Thorax lied once again "I told Cocoon where we wou-" Thorax cut off by the faint echoing of a familiar voice and the faint buzzing of wings.
"Carapace wait up, I'm sure we can work something out!" Rang the voice of Princess Cocoon "It's for the good of the Hive"
"Run" hissed Cara as she bolted, quickly followed by both Mandible and Thorax.
The three ordinary Changelings knew they weren't a match for any properly trained Changeling, let alone someone from the royal blood line. However, the three of them held one advantage and that was Cocoon inability to full control her Hive connections. Where Chrysalis could track them with a single thought, Cocoon could only contact them if they were willing.
"We can't keep running" painted Mandible as they the group continued to flee from the Changeling Princess
"We need to buy ourselves some more time!" Cara responded as she turned her gaze towards Thorax "This is for sending me on a squirrel related suicide mission." shouted the mare as she stuck her hoof out.
"I regret nothing!" cried the Changeling as he was tripped and sent rolling off course
"Why would you do that?!" cried Mandible as he continued to gallop
"If I recall correctly you were part of that little squad that got me mauled by woodland creatures. It was either you or him, so stop complaining!"
"Fair enough"
Several yards back
The downed Changeling could hear the approaching buzzing of Cocoon's wings as he slowly continued to his crawl. He might have been downed, but he could at least pull himself to some form of hiding place.
"Carapace!" came every approaching voice "Please don't make me pull rank, but in the name of Science I will!"
Thorax knew he was doomed, there was no way she wouldn't see him if he didn't get into a building he'd have no chance of survival, and then it would be back to testing.
"As your Princess I command you to stay where you are!" The voice was mere seconds away.
And then Thorax saw it, his favorite bar. Maybe I can have a drink before I die he groaned as he put all his strength into making in into the large husk building and with seconds to spare he managed to push the door open and shut it behind him.
"I gave you a chance for easy science" rang the faint voice as it passed the bars entrance "But now we're going to have to do science the hard way!" Cocoons voice slowly faded it.
Thorax let out a sigh of relief as he looked up from the ground and at his new safe haven. However instead of the Changeling filled bar he had hoped for, he was met with a rather strange sight. Instead of dozen of Changelings enjoy a drink during their time off, there were only two all too familiar faces sitting at the bar counter.
"My queen? General Scarab?" Thorax asked in complete confusion.
"Who's there?" Slurred the Queen as she lifted her head off the bar counter and searched the room "Oh Drone #626" the drunken queen stated happily "Wh-what bring you to this fine establ- establis- Bar this glorious morning!"
"Uh" The confused Changeling was about to begin, but decided it was best to spare his intoxicated Queen the truth. "Oh, I'm just waiting here in case Princess Cocoon needs my help."
"Oh is she still bugging you" Scarab spoke, quickly placing a hoof over his mouth after realizing his terrible mistake.
Chrysalis once again broke into a fit of laughter "You get it Drone #626! Bugging, because we're bugs!" the drunken queen continued to laugh between the odd hiccup.
"Is she okay?" Thorax asked in confusion
Scarab gave a long sigh "She's been like this all day, it only got worse once we got here."
Chrysalis did her best to hold back her laughter as she attempted to speak, the odd chuckle managing to break through.
"I'm sorry Scarab, why didn't you tell me, I was Droning on?" The queen finished just in time for another fit of laughter.
Scarab just facehoofed.
"I think I'm just going to head back outside" Thorax spoke awkwardly as he took a few steps back.
"Don't flea!" Chrysalis slurred as she held back another fit of laughter.
Scarab facehoofed for the 30th time this morning.
"Get it!" stammered the drunken Queen, "Don't FLEA!" with that she fell back into a drunken mixture of laughter and passing out.
"You know what" groaned Thorax "Just give me a drink."
Back outside
"That didn't even slow her down!" cried the extremely exhausted Changeling as he struggled to keep running, only the fear keeping him motivated.
"I don't know, maybe she burned through Thorax faster than I had thought, maybe she's just out for all of us." cried Carapace as she contemplated surrendering. However, the thoughts of those smoking and bubbling beakers kept her running.
The two Changelings knew they couldn't go much longer, unlike Cocoon whose royal blood could keep her going for days on end. At the same time however, they couldn't just surrender to the Changeling Princess and her insane science experiments. If the two of them wanted any hope of surviving they'd have to find a hiding place.
"Into the pond!" shouted Mandible as he dived into the greenish water. Carapace hesitated and eventually decided that it was probably her best hope of survival.
"Ugh, gah, I-I go-t some of it in my mo-outh!" gasped Mandible as he tried to get the foul tasting pond water out of his mouth.
Meanwhile on the edge the pond
The Changeling Princess stood at the edge of the water and stared at the two flailing Changelings before her. She wasn't sure what either of them had hopped for seeing as the water was little more than two or three feet deep, and yet both of them seemed to be on the verge of drowning in the shallow pond.
"Up you go!" Cocoon stated flatly as she grasped the two Changelings with her magic and pulled them out of the water.
"Hello Cocoon" Mandible said with an awkward laugh
"Fancy meeting you here, here I was looking for Carapace and found myself a second volunteer." The Princess finished speaking with a smug smile. Sadly for Carapace and Mandible, Cocoon had yet to release her magical grip, leaving them unable to flee.
"Now, if you had waited a few more seconds, this would have all been avoided" The Changeling Princess spoke as she retrieved two green vials from her saddle bags. "All you have to do is drink these and you're free to go."
The two Changelings continued to shift their gaze back and forth from each other and the vials they both now held in front of them. Each of them hoping the other would be the first to down the vial concoction. Eventually they came to a silent mutual agreement and both downed their drinks.
Mandible was the first to stifle his gag-reflex "That stuff's foul, it tastes like Chaurus dung"
The Changeling Princess quickly took down some notes and turned her attention to Carapace.
"Well that's not good" she stated in slight concern as she stared at the unconscious Changeling. "I was just trying to make a new beverage." she finished as she continued to take notes.
Mandible just stared in stunned silence.
Back in the Bar
"You know wh-what I think" stammered the drunken Thorax
"Whut" groaned the Changeling Queen, now lying on the floor.
"I think, I think we shoul-" And then he passed out.
Scarab silently stared at the unconscious Changeling and his Queen who was teetering on the edge of consciousness.
"Gods above" he groaned "I'm a glorified larva sitter."
Stats
Page generated in 0.028 seconds
Total duration
658 users online
821,180 hits today, 2,782,760 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
all the bug puns
Because sometimes you just need to get plastered alongside royalty.
I don't mind. It was funny as hell, all those bug puns were beeutiful... get it?
Well, this is better than sucking ponies' love out until they're lifeless husks that are then fed to quarry eels, which then devour them in gruesomely gory fashion...
t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS3J-qMDCsy75gA5BSUb2kfHFdQz2lZBHKBEk1-PD0SkEBiMl8t
So funny
No worries, it was only a little Anticlimactic. I'm sure you can bee forgiven. No doubt we will- okay, I'm done.
Wow, I've never seen Queen Chrysalis drunk before, she seems fun to be around.
-Ambassador of the Changelings,
Dopple Ganger
Nice breather chapter. Don't worry about it.
Can't tell if coincedence... Or if Lilo and stich referance...
Oh well many lols were had
It`s funny.I just don`t see why you calling it poop.
The chapter turned out better than you thought. It realy was good, may not have that much of a story but it was good nontheless.
And maybe you should keep writing some chapters like this. maybe one for "The Ponyville way" were cocoon an Twilight meet each other.
this chapter is far from " God Awful " this is actually very funny
you need to keep writing its too funny
good job
- apollo
Don't say that! I laughed. I thought this was funny, besides, did it help with the writers block? honestly though, maybe you should jsut take a break? You don;'t need to be so hard on yourself. This is supposed to be fun right?
I have a new favorite chapter.
Well that was unEGGspected
I dont mean to NIT pick but, all these bug puns make me want to FLY outta here.
hissed Ice as I she stared at the dazed Changeling
BAAAAA!
was Cocoon inability to full control her Hive connections.
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Look a this pile of poop,
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
The "vial" concoction. See what you did there.
2722910
Thanks :D It's always nice to know the chapter at least managed to make someone laugh.
Hopefully next one will be even better.
I love this story, but man, you need an editor.
No offense intended, of course, but grammar and punctuation are important.
Still, even then, don't stop writing. I'd love to see where these characters go.
lol not bad not your best work BUT still fun to read :D
I friggin loved this chapter! MOAR
ps, I am ticked of that there is a Twist face but no Chyrisalis.
All them puns.
Cya
Raziel-chan