In love with a changeling

by pinkiepiestyle101

chapter 1

You never know what live can do to you. One day its happy and some days its bad and some days will be spacial. My whole life changed when i met the pony I love. You what to know what happened? Well here we go.

My name is Flower. I was just a normal earth pony. My special talent is well...flowers. I could grow flowers with nothing at all going wrong. I don't know how I even did it. Most ponies didn't like me. They said that i was stupid. But i'm not. I was just awesome.

I had my own flower shop. I had all kinds. Roses, daffodils, daisies and more. But not many ponies came. I didn't know why. But my flower shop was awesome.

One day when I was bored this pony walked in. He was a dark blue unicorn with big blue eyes. He came up to me and smiled
"Hello there!"
"Hi..."
"Do you have any heather's?"
"Yes here you go."
I give him 4 heather's
"3 bits please."
He gave me some bits and trotted off.. I never seen that pony before. He must be new here i said to myself and got bored again.

The next day he came back. The same dark pony smiled up to me
"Hello again."
"Oh hi again."
"Can I have some more heather please?"
"Sure."
I have him some more heather's
"3 bits please."
He gave me some more bits
"Say what's your name?"
"Flower."
"Hi Flower. Im Star."
He smiled again and left.

The next 5 weeks Star came to my flower shop every day. We were slowly becoming best of friends and i think i was starting to love him but I didn't ask him out. That's until one day he came in and looked a like nervous.
"Hi Star. Let me get you those heather's"
"No Flower. I have something to ask you."
"OK."
"Flower. Will...will you be my very special somepony?"
I didn't know what do say.
"You like me?"
"The only reason I come everyday is to see you."
I blushed.
"Of course I will go out with you. I like you too."
"Oh thank you! You make me so happy!"
He hugged me and then kissed me and smiled.
"I will see you tomorrow."
He left. I felt all special. I had never had a very special somepony before. I hoped this will go well

end of chapter 1

Comments

[InuYasha_luvs_ponies]

Many mistakes.... Still liked it though..

[Flamer_Brony]

Okay I'm going to give my honest opinion. There are many grammar and spelling errors within this short chapter. I liked it though, don't get me wrong, but the spelling and grammar mistakes makes this very hard to read. The plot of the story seems very good, and I am going to definitely continue reading it, but you seem to be rushing things a little and you are using a little too much past tense in your story. I am not one to be judging you on this because I did the same mistake with the first chapter of my story, but the outsider's eye sees better than your own. I am suggesting to you to get an editor and/or proofreader to help point out and maybe even fix the mistakes in the story, if you already have one then you have my apologizes because it is not clearly shown in your work. No offense. Also I have noticed that this if your first fic and you have not joined Authors helping Authors which in my opinion is a brilliant group were we new authors and some older ones try to help each other by reading each others fics and reviewing them and saying how to make them better. I highly recommend you join this group. Well that's all I have to say, for now, cheers mates!