This Mare I Love.

NeotheTwilitUnicorn #1 · Jan 30th, 2013 · 1 · · This Mare I Love. ·

Sounds like it will be interesting, but I'll hold off on reading it until the full version comes out. Teaser, eh. Annoying, mildly. Sorry, but that's how I am....

kalash93

kalash93 #2 · Jan 30th, 2013 · 1 · 1 · This Mare I Love. ·

Reply

This is just the teaser? You need to do far better than this if you want 100 likes. Begging for likes is bad form. Your story could use a few things, such as a massive proofread. You also need to have some sort of history between the OC and Fluttershy. A good sex story is a good story that has sex. You made the "teaser" too long. At this length, it's long enough to count as a short story all on its own. This might work if you weren't going with the premise of a clop fic, or at least a much longer, more complex story. However, since the goal of the story is for the protagonist to have sex with the one he loves, and you have already spoiled that he succeeds, then there is no reason to read the longer version. We already know what happens; you've given away too much of your story.

Overwhelming Light

Overwhelming Light #3 · Jan 30th, 2013 · 1 · · This Mare I Love. ·

Reply

The goal of this story was to see if this method of writing would be liked. If we do receive sufficient likes we will write multiple semi-short sex stories that should have a much better back story than this one did. This was a test to see if our writing method was credible enough to be worth the effort off creating a series of shorts. We are not desperate for likes, we just wanted physical proof that this is worth applying ourselves.

TheArchive

TheArchive #4 · Jan 31st, 2013 · · 1 · This Mare I Love. ·

Reply

This is a Teaser if you wish to get the full clop-filled story we need to reach 100 likes.

Yeah, I'm giving this a dislike just for that.

If you want any likes at all, then I suggest you stop doing something so mind-bogglingly stupid.

Edit:

I did in fact read your comment. It still doesn't excuse holding future chapters/stories/whatever hostage. I've seen that happen plenty of times on FanFiction and other such places, and it never ends well. The only thing that does is make everyone hate the author. Also, you say you are not desperate for likes, and yet what you're doing is the complete opposite.

MidnightDash Joe

MidnightDash Joe #5 · Feb 2nd, 2013 · · · This Mare I Love. ·

Reply

Thank you NeoAlicornnofTwlight for being one of the only people who commented that makes sense. And for the others: why would you say that it was too long when it just met the requirement of 1000+ words?(kalash93) And guess what buddy? we didn't have sex at all if you read just hoofing/ fingering. And for The Archive: I suggest you stop being so mind mindbogglingly stupid. I don't want to write an ass load of pornography that takes time just so people can put me down. Getting at least 100 likes mean ill have a descant audience to work with. And you want a back story and everything? I am planing on writing all that good shit in the full version. A good teaser to me is giving away some of the good things that will happen to get people excited for more and for them two to go farther than just hoofing/ fingering. You don't know that I spoiled all the main points at all. I have ideas for this that your brain cant even start to create. And most of all is your ass jealous of the shit that comes out of your mouth? And don't even say that applies to me cause you cant make up a comeback to it cause all the jokes you can think of were told when your dad was in preschool. Ever read a fucking TV guide? It even tells you half the shit that happens in an episode of family guy! So all of you people that cant see any potential in my writing can go write their own story cause Im half a step from quitting writing for the internet and keep my stories between me, myself, and I to enjoy. Think you can do better? Prove me wrong when I say you two cant do shit against me and Overwhelming Light. And to all that liked and favorited I appreciate it greatly. Your the reason I made a account to possibly write the full version.

Stolen Night

Stolen Night #6 · Feb 6th, 2013 · 1 · · This Mare I Love. ·

Reply

2048294 I hate to be the bearer of bad news -Lest it be for Celestia- but this story... A good concept, you could definitely build on it. Try getting a few pre-readers outside of your writing group to look it over for you, It really helped me before I realized Darke writings are my strong suit.

Yes, I know I don't have anything posted, It's because of jerks who judge a story based on its opening, a bad review can really turn a potential reader away.

MidnightDash Joe