Leave The World Behind

by Davidism

The First Verse

Howard Hall wore a look of pure unadulterated skepticism, as he sat at his breakfast table, with his hands in his lap, and his eyes transfixed on the two other occupants of his morning breakfast nook. He woke up that morning still wearing what he had on the night before, and given the lack of attention to his hair, it was clear to the others that he emerged from his room with nothing done to straighten his appearance.

"I sort of thought, you two would be gone when I came to, this morning."

Seated across from him at the table were two small sized ponies. One bright white one with electric blue hair, a single unicorn horn, and red eyes; and the other a slate gray pony with black hair, and violet eyes. Both of them sat watching him as he sat there, unmoving, and firmly convinced his mind had snapped moments before.

"Hey dude, like we said last night; we're here because of a wish you made. You wanted to be better at music, and we were asked to come here and teach you." The white one was gesturing aggressively as she spoke, as the other one nodded.

"Uh-huh."

The slate colored pony stared blankly at Howard as he in turn stared back, and gradually his skepticism gave way to sheer disbelief. Though he did manage to contain himself rather well, rather than run screaming from the apartment like he wanted to do, he settled for getting up and walking to the coffee pot. His feelings on the matter were up for debate, as he poured a cup of black coffee and took a sip of the dark brew. His eyes were shifting from one to the other as he took in the caffeine.

"So, what exactly am I supposed to call you two?" he said, the hot beverage burning his throat, though since he was a stone's throw from being crazy, he figured that it didn't matter all that much in the long run, so long as there was something tangible in the physical universe to keep him grounded. "I mean, it seems as if you two aren't interested in going anywhere, so as terrible figments of my imagination, you should be called something."

"You think that we're figments of your imagination?" the gray pony said; her mouth hanging open slightly at the incredulity of the insinuation.

"You know what? You're absolutely right. We haven't even told you what our names are, we know who you are, but you have no clue about us; it's probably no wonder you're all messed up in the head." The white pony smiled and struck a pose. "The name's Vinyl Scratch, and this is my good friend, Octavia."

Sitting back down at the table, Howard regarded them both as if he were still looking at the very sight of Lucifer, or the head welcoming ambassador of the underworld. "It's a pleasure."

Taking another drink of his coffee, Howard set the cup down, and took a deep breath. "Alright, so let's see if I can get this straight." He watched as Octavia got up from the table and went to the coffee pot and sniffed around it. "You two are from some other world?"

"Yes," Vinyl said, nodding excitedly. Finally, it seemed as if the duncenheimer was coming around.

"And... you heard me make some drunken wish, about sucking as a musician?"

"Yes," Octavia said, as she struggled to reach a cup from the cupboard, both of her front hooves out, and hopping on her back hooves to reach higher.

"Okay. So, then why in the name of blue perfect hell, did the gods, or divines, or... "

"Uh, Princess Celestia," interjected Vinyl nodding her head.

"Fine. Princess Celestia. Why in the name of Princess Celestia did the two of you get sent to help me? Why not someone, or something, more, human?"

"Hey don't ask us skinny," Vinyl said, as Howard rose from his seat to go help Octavia with a cup. "We were hanging out at an after party event, and the next I know, the royal goon squad shows up, making with the severe routine, and we get handed invites back to the palace. Princess shows us some human slobbering on his floor about sucking at life, makes us an offer we can't refuse, and boom... here we are."

"Gee, that's a really charming way of putting it." Howard said, pouring himself and Octavia a cup of coffee. "So do you two do this sort of thing a lot? The whole, um, granting wishes to poor slobbering idiots?"

"First time," said Octavia, gingerly bringing the cup to her lips.

"First idiot," Vinyl said, holding her hand out for a cup. "Where the hell's my cup at?"

"Wow. So you two seem awfully calm about all this. I guess you've met human beings before, then."

"No, first time for that too. But with all the strange things that happen in Equestria, you sort of get used to seeing strange creatures." Octavia walked over and handed her cup to Vinyl Scratch, who took a gentle sip of the brew.

"Hey, add some sugar to this dammit!"

"Get you're own, if you don't like it." Octavia said, sitting back down, then turning to Howard. "So, you seem just as calm. Do you get lots of visitors from other worlds?"

"Uh, no. In fact, I'm still pretty sure you're all figments of my imagination, and when I get back from work, you're going to disappear, and I can go back to my crappy performances, and crappy life, and consider checking myself into A.A. afterward."

Octavia and Vinyl both looked slightly stunned at the response, and coughed it up as some sort of post traumatic twitch. The poor fool was obviously in heavy denial, and there didn't seem to be any fixing what was broken with him. That is until Octavia hit upon an idea to prove their existence.

"What if there was a way to prove to you that we were real?" she asked him. "You'd believe us then, right?"

"Well maybe," he said sipping at his coffee. "That depends on what you plan to do."

"Hmm, nothing much," Octavia said, removing herself from the table and walking around to where Howard was seated. Motioning for him to come down to her eye level, since at full standing height, she only came just above his navel, she waited as he complied.

"Okay, so what's the point in all this?" he said, just as Octavia brought her hoof back, and punched him in the side of the cheek as hard as she could.

The force of the blow was enough to send Howard reeling back, and landing on the floor with a loud smack. Then rubbing his face as he cursed loudly, and scrambled back onto his feet, he loomed over the pony, and glared at her menacingly.

"That hurt!" Reaching down, Howard scooped up Octavia with both hands under her front legs and brought her up to his eye level, where she began to writhe and squeal, kicking at him. "What the hell did you do that for?!"

Landing a kick to his stomach, Howard dropped her on the floor, where she scrambled around and kicked him in his leg. Vinyl Scratch on the other hand was laughing hysterically, from the moment that Octavia sucker-punched Howard to the moment she landed on the floor.

Rushing to stand behind where Vinyl sat at the table, Octavia shouted at Howard, "Do you believe I'm real now?!"

Sitting on the floor, rubbing at his shin furiously, Howard had to admit to himself, that it was pretty solid proof that she was real. Figments and hallucinations didn't usually manifest pain in the one having the mental issues.

"Damn, you hit me in the face... and the shin." Howard was out of excuses. If they were real, then life just tossed him one hell of a curve ball. "Alright. I admit it, you might be real. But it still doesn't explain why my wish granted me help in the form of two ponies—that can talk, and can sit at my table drinking coffee."

"Hey dude," Vinyl said, finishing the last of Octavia's cup of coffee, "it's not like we decided to be the granters of your wish either. We're stuck here until your gig is finished, so the pressure isn't on just you slim. We have to get the job done, or we don't get paid."

Standing back up to join them at the table, Howard frowned. "Wait, you two are getting paid for this?"

"Well, yes," Octavia said, snatching her cup from Vinyl, and smacking her in the back of the head. "We were asked to do this, as a job, not as a favor."

Rubbing his face, Howard had to admit, that it made some kind of sense. Asking two people, or ponies as the case may be, to travel to another world and grant a wish was a pretty tall order to not have some sort of monetary compensation. "How much are you getting paid?"

Octavia looked at Vinyl, and the two of them blinked a few times before she said, "Uh, you know... now that you mention it; we seem to have forgotten about that."

Howard couldn't help but suddenly burst into laughter. "You mean, you took this job without even knowing how much money you were going to get?"

Frowning, Vinyl slapped a hoof on the table. "It's not funny, Mister Boo-Hoo; we're doing you a service. The least you can do is show us some respect."

"Yeah right," he said still laughing. "This is too good. I get a wish granted, and my two fairy godmothers are most likely going to get the shaft; which doesn't say much for me in the long run."

Getting up to make another cup of coffee, Howard noticed the clock in the kitchen, and bolted for his bedroom. "Ah crap, I'm gonna be late for my shift."

A few moments later, Howard returned to the breakfast table, wearing a blue polo shirt, with his hair combed, and styled, and smelling like cologne. "Hey, listen. I'm still not entirely convinced that you two are on the level, but for what it's worth, I'll trust that maybe you two are real, at lest for now; which means that you need to stay put. No leaving and freaking out the neighbors, and people in the apartment building."

"You want us to stay here?" Octavia said, alarmed at the sequestering. "But what if we get bored?"

"There's a TV in the living room, and snacks in the fridge, just do me a favor and don't wreck the place, and or leave. Got it?"

"Yeah," said Vinyl as she saluted with her hoof. "We got it."

Giving them both a serious and doubt riddled expression of worry, Howard left the apartment. Vinyl and Octavia could hear his footsteps down the corridor as he ran.

"So, how about that cup of coffee you owe me?" said Vinyl, holding out Octavia's empty cup.

—|—|—

After Howard bolted out, Octavia and Vinyl Scratch were left in the kitchen staring around at his apartment. The night before they hadn't had much of a chance to examine where they were going to be staying, and they figured this was as good a time as any, to familiarize themselves with where they would be staying, for who knew how long.

"This sure is different from the houses in Equestria, isn't it?" Octavia noted, as she slowly walked from the kitchen through to the bedroom where Howard had spent the last night crying and drunk.

"Yeah," she said. "You can say that again."

"Okay, so we're here to help this dude get better at music, right? So why don't we get together a game-plan, and tackle this beast head on?" Vinyl made her way to the small living room and jumped up on the large recliner, stretching her back hooves out.

"Oh, please. Like you've got it in you to formulate a plan about anything," Octavia said with a sneer. "At best, all you do is shoot from the flank; play it by ear; and, stop me if I'm missing anything—go with the flow."

"Damn," Vinyl said with a wicked grin, "you know me too well. But with the way your attitude has been lately, I wouldn't be talking about flow."

Realizing that Vinyl was using the word "flow" synonymously with "menstruate", Octavia frowned and looked away indignantly. "You, are disgusting."

"Game plan. Hello," Vinyl said, rocking back in forth in the recliner, trying to make it more comfortable. "The kid needs some lessons, and I don't have my gear, and you don't have Chell. So what are we going to do?"

Thinking about their options, Octavia had to admit that there was little that they could do if they didn't have the necessary equipment, so the first order of business was to examine the quality of Howard's gear, and see exactly what it was that the two of them had to work with.

"This is pretty cool, though," said Vinyl, looking around at the inside of Howard's living room. The pictures on the wall, of city skylines, neon colors, and dark fabrics; it gave the apartment a neat relaxing atmosphere. Vinyl nodded her approval. There weren't a lot of things she liked regarding interior decorating, but whoever this guy was, he had good taste.

"To be honest, I'm scared to death," Octavia said, walking toward the second bedroom, where Howard's music equipment was stored. "Why Princess Celestia selected us, is beyond me. Especially when there are composers, and musicians a thousand times better than the both of us put together."

"Hey, Ocee, speak for yourself; but I'm pretty confident in my abilities."

"Your ability to what... trash the masters?"

Gingerly turning the knob, and opening the door to the bedroom, Octavia sucked in air quickly as she saw Howard's music room. From top to bottom, it was lined with guitars, keyboards, amps, drums, music stands, straps, what seemed like thousands of feet of cables, and enough recording gear to make a studio. Octavia wasn't sure why, but the sheer overwhelming array and assortment of musical instruments made her want to swoon, and gave her a slight twang of heat in her lower parts. She couldn't believe it, but she was actually being turned on by what she was seeing.

"Who is this guy?" Octavia said, as Vinyl Scratch walked in the room.

"Beats me—holy shit!" Vinyl instantly slumped to the floor, and twitched visibly. "I think I just came."

—|—|—

"No. No. NO!" Howard pounded his steering wheel as he switched off his turning signal, and settled into the right lane on the freeway. "This. Is. Such. SHIT!" He pounded again, in time with each word. Shaking his head, he visibly fought with with his own self-logic. A horn from a car next to him, brought his eyes darting to his left, and he saw the driver in the car next to him making the classic "crazy" swirling motions with his finger next to his head.

"Yeah!?" Howard screamed at his window. "Well, fuck you too buddy!" Hitting his horn with the heel of his hand, he accelerated his '08 Honda and switched lanes, getting in front of the prick. Then hit his horn a few more times for good measure. "Jerk off!"

Rolling his shoulders a time or two, Howard switched his radio on, and tried to calm himself. The fact that he was playing host to two talking horses from another world was a fact of life that he was not wanting to acknowledge yet, and besides, he still had his shift to worry over. Just let them be, and maybe they would do like he thought earlier, and just leave. Yup, sounded like a great plan. Don't screw with them, and they wouldn't screw with him, and everything would work out in the end.

He was making great strides with his plan to focus out the strange visitation, when a Coldplay song came on the radio, and he was reminded in stark clarity about his drunken binge and crying fit the night before. "Shit!" More pounding on the steering wheel.

When Howard made it to work, he jumped from his car, and ran in. he was huffing and breathing hard by the time he slid to a halt next to the time clock, and hastily punched his card. Letting out a ragged sigh, he turned just in time to bump chests with the Assistant Manager.

"Cutting it a little close today, aren't you Hall?"

"Hey Harv," Howard said, side stepping him, and making for the door of the break-room.

Putting his arm out to prevent him from passing, Harv said, "You know... I don't know why you bother coming in here at all. Your mind is never on your work, you hate dealing with customers, and you always reek of booze or the last night club you swam in."

Even-though Howard did his best to ignore Harvey, he still wanted to punch him in the face. He looked up at the ceiling and pretended Harvey was a walrus, that was being repeatedly slammed by a whale's tail onto the sharp jagged rocks of some far off shore.

"You know what I think?" Harv said.

"No Harvey, I already forgot since the last time."

"I think that the old man makes you do this job; because if you didn't, he wouldn't be sending you those monthly checks, buying your shit, and paying for your apartment."

"Are you finished?" Howard said, turning his head, and giving Harvey a sidelong glance.

"Yeah, I'm done. Number five is on it's last quarter, so we need to make sure one of the morning shift change the ink in it for the afternooners. And, there's an order for ten thirty." Harv allowed Howard to pass, and then rubbed his head. He walked away mumbling to himself about how is life was damned.

It was a near routine thing. Howard would come to work after the weekend, and the assistant manager would rail on him. It wasn't because the assistant manager didn't already make enough money, or the fact that he wasn't mostly in charge of the store, and it wasn't that he was a bad guy. It was the fact that Howard's father, Preston Hall was the owner of the Copy Hall chain of copy centers, and general manager.

Most of what Harv had said was true. The old man insisted that Howard wasn't just going to mooch off of the family, and that if he wanted his equipment, his apartment, and his fun paid for; Howard was going to show some sort of work ethic, and hold down a nine to five. So while Howard was sure that Harv was acting like a junkie on the rag, he couldn't blame the guy for venting to him. No one vented to the owner, and so, Howard adapted to the routine.

Letting out another ragged sigh, he pushed open the door of the break-room, and walked toward the counter at the back of the store. He put on his best smile, and allowed his gaze to drift over the sales floor. With one more heavy exhale, Howard reached under the counter and lifted up the baseball cap with the store's logo on it, then affixed his name tag to his shirt which read, "Howard Hall, Manager."

"Morning, Mister Hall," said Kimberly, one of the morning shift workers, as she brought out a stack of copy paper reams, and set them under the counter. "Long weekend?"

"You could say that," he said, as he settled in behind the counter and began tallying up the inventory from the weekend's usage. He would need to place an order later that afternoon.

—|—|—

Standing outside Howard's bathroom door, Octavia waited patiently for Vinyl Scratch to finish. She could hear all sorts of grunting and water splashing in there, and considered going in, but given what Vinyl had told her before bolting for the bathroom; the last thing she wanted to see was Vinyl with her hoof between her legs, rubbing one out in the corner. Finally she settled on, just asking if she was alright.

"Yeah, I'm fine. This thing is a royal bitch to use though."

"Can you hurry? There are others that are needing to go too." She knew she shouldn't have had that much coffee.

There was another bought of straining and grunting, and then water running. "Hey Ocee, you need to see this."

"Vinyl Scratch, that's disgusting. No-pony wants to watch you pee."

"Not that! Just hurry!"

Taking a deep breath before opening the door, Octavia braced herself for the inevitable, and did a double-take when she saw Vinyl Scratch standing on a stool in front of the mirror styling her mane. "Pretty neat, huh?" Vinyl Scratch said, as she magically lifted a comb and teased at her new spiky hairdo in the mirror.

"What are you doing?"

"This dude's place is amazing!" Vinyl said, bringing up the hairspray and adding more to the top of her mane. "You should try this stuff; it'll work wonders even for you."

"Some of us have been waiting to go," Octavia said, feeling her bladder quiver. "Can you please get out."

"You sure you don't want a lesson on how to go?" Vinyl said, as she hopped off the stool and motioned for the white porcelain toilet.

Regarding the toilet for a moment, Octavia realized that unless she were about two or three feet taller, she was going to have difficulties. "Alright. How did you do it?"

"First, I though that maybe if I stood on it, I could sit on it like a chair, but that didn't work, and I ended up stepping in there. Not pretty! And then, I thought about raising my back-end, and that didn't work, because my legs don't go that far apart to go over each side of it."

"Can you get to the part where you were successful?" Octavia said, tapping her back hoof on the tile to keep her mind from her bursting bladder.

"Right, I'm getting to that. So, I thought about just going in the shower like back at college—"

"Vinyl Scratch!"

"Fine... you're no fun!" Sliding the stool up to the front of the toilet, Vinyl Scratch lifted her back legs onto it, and hunched her back, and lifted her tail. "See. This way everything sort of falls out into the water in there."

"Ugh! Do you have to be so gross!? You could have just told me, I didn't need a demonstration." Pushing Vinyl Scratch out of the bathroom, Octavia gave her a mean look, and slammed the door. Seconds later, Vinyl heard the sound of water hitting water, and figured that she had it figured out.

Touching the top of her spiked mane with her hoof, Vinyl grinned, and sauntered off to the music room. It was time to jam.

Comments

[Seraph973]

Well this looks to be an interesting amusing story. Looking forward to reading more.

[Freewing Alchemist P]

Gingerly turning the knob, and opening the door to the bedroom, Octavia sucked in air quickly as she saw Howard's music room. From top to bottom, it was lined with guitars, keyboards, amps, drums, music stands, straps, what seemed like thousands of feet of cables, and enough recording gear to make a studio. Octavia wasn't sure why, but the sheer overwhelming array and assortment of musical instruments made her want to swoon, and gave her a slight twang of heat in her lower parts. She couldn't believe it, but she was actually being turned on by what she was seeing.

"Who is this guy?" Octavia said, as Vinyl Scratch walked in the room.

"Beats me—holy shit!" Vinyl instantly slumped to the floor, and twitched visibly. "I think I just came."

That is a completely funny line you have just earned a reader here.