It was early morning in Ponyville. The sun had just risen over the horizon, its rays eagerly hugging the landscape. Like every morning the birds greeted Celestia’s sun with their gleeful song. While the birds were active, very few ponies had even gotten out of bed, the weekend was for resting after all right?
One of those ponies, or dragons actually, was Spike. Getting out of bed was always a chore for him, no matter how much older he got. Unfortunatly for him, his internal clock just ticked for him to wake up.
He opened his eyes painfully slow, the world nothing but blurry bright shapes. Then everything came into focus.
He wasn’t at the library.
Rarity’s room was huge and circular. The walls were painted with a de-saturated purple. Mannequin ponies were on the other side of the room near the open window. Her desk was a disaster area. What did she call it? Organized Chaos? Sketches of designs and fabric where pilled high on the desk and even a few pieces littered the floor near it. The shelf next to it at least had fabric organized by colors. Nonetheless the room was neat and spacious.
“Wha-“ Then the memories came flooding into his mind.
He suddenly remembered everything that had happened last night. The night out on the town. The dinner and the wine. The smooth jazz. Fancy cheese and chocolates. Slow dancing. Whispering tender words. Passion, and lust. All of yesterdays date with Rarity, crystal clear and real.
“Rarity?” he called out, looking around the room. No answer, he climbed out of bed and made his way downstairs.
After many years of living in Ponyville Spike had grown exceptionally. On two legs he stood much higher than Rarity but he wasn’t huge. His body seemed to slim down as if to accommodate for flying. He even has small wings that sprouted out of his back. Unfortunately he still couldn’t fly with them. Rainbow Dash always teased him every chance she got when Spike was around, he didn’t take it to seriously it was Rainbow dash after all.
When he got to the stairs, he saw Rarity lying face down on her longue chaise. At first glace she appeared to be sleeping. Upon getting closer he realized she was sobbing.
“Rarity! Are you alright?!”
Her face shot up from the pillow she was smothering, startled by Spikes voice. She almost forgot he spent the night here. Her eyes slightly red and tears trailed down her face from the crying.
“S-spike…”
Panic was plastered all over Spikes face. He went to embrace her and she hugged him back with increased fervor.
“What happened?! Did somepony hurt you?!” Spike’s voice was nearly cracking with panic.
“No, no. Spike.” Rarity dug her face into the base of his neck. “I’m… fine.” She snuggled into him even more.
“You don’t look fine.” Spike brought his eyes to hers. “Is this about last night? I thought you had a great time. Did I do something wrong?”
“NO! Of course not. Last night was one of the best I had in a long time!” Rarity didn’t break eye contact with him. She held one of her hooves on the side of his face and brought her face a little closer. She took in a deep breath, paused, then let her breath out. “I went to the library this morning.”
Spikes jaw dropped. “You told Twilight!?!?” Tears began to well up in his eyes. “Does she not want us togeth-“
“NO SPIKE.” Rarity yelled. After giving him a stern look for a few seconds she continued. Her expression softened. “She is so, very proud of you, or us I should say. She wishes the absolute best for us and is elated that were together.”
“I don’t understand, why where you crying then?”
Rarity broke eye contact, looking at the floor. “Uh, Well…” Rarity gulped. “She gave me some… bad news.”
“Bad news?” Spike asked.
Rarity looked up. Spike couldn’t gauge her emotions but she did carry a soft smile. She brought her hoof back up to his face, gently caressing that light green fin Spike had on his cheek.
“Bad news.” She confirmed, nodding slowly.
“Which is…?”
Rarity went back to analyzing the floor. She started trembling.
She mumbled a few words.
“What?” Spike couldn't make the words out.
Rarity literally grabbed him and shook him silly.
“Ponies and dragons can’t have babies!!!” Rarity screamed into him, fresh tears trailing back down her cheeks. Her face was something Spike never wanted to see from her. Equal parts frustration and sadness.
“Rarity…” Her name came out the same way as an apology would sound.
Closing his eyes, Spike gently pushed his muzzle into hers. He placed one hand behind her neck and the other on the back of her head. Rarity gently pushed into him, needing this kiss more than the very oxygen she breathed. Even with her eyes shut the tears kept coming. Rarity didn’t want to let him go. She wrapped her fore legs around his neck. He had this warm aura to him, he was a dragon after all. She wanted this to last forever. To be here, protected by the dragon the loves her more than anything. After what felt like days of kissing, they parted.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!” Rarity sobbed into him. Spike just held her in his arms tightly.
“W-were incompatible!” Rarity screamed. She just couldn’t keep it together anymore. She just sobbed into him, crying and blubbering incoherent nonsense.
After a few minutes of crying, Spike finally spoke up after she calmed down a bit.
“Rarity, do… Do you really want kids in the future?”
“Yes I do Spike, I sincerely do. Spike, last night was amazing. It was everything dreams were made out of.”
“You’re telling me.”
Rarity smiled. She took in a breath and continued. “Last night made me realize how much I truly love you. And… I discovered how much I want to start a family with you. To spend the rest of my years with you.”
Spike pecked her quickly on the lips and smiled lovingly back to her.
“Love you too Rarity. Always will. I’m so happy that you want to start a family with me. It means so much.” Spike beamed.
"But did Twilight really tell you it's impossible for dragons and ponies to have offspring?" He asked.
Rarity nodded slowly. "She had a book." Rarity stammered.
Spike rolled his eyes. "She really does have a book for everything, doesn't she?."
Rarity let out small giggle.
"Rarity, I want you to know that I will be there for you, always. Unfortunately, this is a problem we can't really fix, can we? It's just how biology works. Or for our case, doesn't work."
Rarity frowned. However deep down she understood.
“Besides...” Spike added.
Rarity met his eyes again and listened intently.
“Aren’t you awfully busy with clients and working on designs? And I still help Twilight around the library. So, I mean, do you think now is really the best time to raise a child? We both do lead busy lives.”
Rarity sniffled. “You’re right my dear. But I was so hopeful for the future. I guess I don’t really want to start a family right now, but I… I-” Rarity’s eyes began to tear up again.
Spike held her tightly. “Shhhh, shhhhh. Enough crying, I’m tired of seeing you cry.”
Rarity steeled herself and gave Spike the biggest smile she could muster.
“Okay no more crying.” Rarity chimed.
“Good.” Spike pecked her on the lips again. “Now how about breakfast?”
“Tempting darling, but I actually want to go back to bed.” She separated herself from Spike and made her way upstairs. Spike looked back at her, slightly confused.
“Does crying really take that much out of you?”
Rarity looked back at him with half lidded eyes. “Well no, but I read in the paper that a recent study showed most mares actually prefer the mornings for… lovemaking.” She smiled mischievously at him, the last word dripping with forced seductiveness.
Spikes jaw nearly hit the floor.
Rarity stood at the threshold of her room. She brought her hoof to her lips, kissed it, then blew it to Spike. Then made a beckoning motion with her hoof.
“Care for another round Spikey-Wikey?”
Spike couldn’t get up those stairs fast enough.
Feel free to critique and tear apart guys and/or gals.
i48.tinypic.com/vxi1bl.jpg
I like it and glade there is no clop
like for using adult themes but not falling in to deep.
Meh. It's decent. I can't really point out anything specifically wrong, just not what holds my interest. I am interested in what else you have written though.
Good photo by the way.
A sample of things I'd change:
Early morning in Ponyville - Fragment. Add "It was" or merge it with the next sentence (better imo). Although this is fine if you intend it stylistically (like you do when describing the memories, later)
it’s - its
every morning... morning song Well, they wouldn't generally greet the morning with a nighttime song. Maybe another descriptor?
While the birds were active, very few ponies had even got out of bed, the weekend was for resting after all right? - "While the birds were active, very few ponies had even gotten out of bed. After all, wasn't the weekend meant for resting?"
Last night, he remembered everything - You actually _mean_ that right now, he is remembering things that happened last night, but the order you constructed it gives a different meaning. "He suddenly remembered everything that had happened last night."
You have a lot of similar things (grammar, spelling) that beg for this to be thrown into Word or something with a review function.
Rarity seemed to go from blubbering to giggling rather quickly. She was told she can't have children with her lover. You never really clarify the inter-species issue, since they both move on to imply that children ARE possible, but they're just not going to have them right now. So...expand on this! Can they find a way to have children (even if they would be freaks!)? Can they live just being happy with each other? Was Twilight full of crap?
2005353
This comment. I like it.
I'll see how the other chapters come along. I'll admit I'm a bit lazy.
2005379
Truthfully I really wanted this to be clop at first, but I can't bring myself to type that stuff. I'll freely admit I'm a pervert but I can't create porn worth shit.
Interestingly well written. I like the pairing, and I'm glad the only clop is in implication.
As for the concept, one I've seen and played with myself several times, and am interested in seeing where it goes.
If you don't happen to have any ideas for plot to continue this, I ahve a literal plethora of ideas to share if you're interested.
2005447
Thank you!!!!!
I fixed a lot of the grammar you pointed out.
And you're right about that big error I made. To specify, in this story it is biologically impossible for a pony and dragon to have offspring.(However they can have sex. >.>) And then I go into how they don't have time for kids... Man I feel stupid. I'll get right on this.
2005447
Okay, I made them address the biology problem. Phew.
2005483
I have a few ideas where to take this. But what I am curious about other stories like this. How do they handle this?
2005594
Well, in some it winds up leading to the end of their relationship.
In most it leads to Spike becoming a pony, with various results.
In a few, it leads to Rarity becoming a dragon with various results.
My personal favorite, however, is when it results in magic making science it's b****, to the amazement of most and amusement of Discord.
Awww I hope the Princesses can come up with something to help.
How bout' adoption?
2005942
Somepony is a mind reader.
Turn Spike into a stallion and let her have it. There's your solution.
So twilight knows this from a book? I tough kirins were the product of dragons and another species, well it's your story anyways liking it so far.
Or they go at it like Chinese rabbits and make a kirin.
Very nice premise, even if it does (and I don't care about this) fly in the face of evidence to the contrary. Dragons are known for their ability to breed, successfully, with just about anything. Gods, horses, griffins, sea serpents, even humans!
Still, I think Discord might know a bit more about magic than any silly book Twilight has. We'll wait and see.
2006472
2006462
I actually know in universes like DND and others that dragons can mate and have offspring with pretty much anything. >.>
But for the sake of this story they can't have kids.
I can understand the theme of the story but in fantasy canon in general dragons and ponies/horses/equines can breed together and produce kirins.
It was alright. Not perfect, but it was alright. Worth an upvote and favourite.
This can't be a oneshot story. I'm guessing they're only choice for having foals/whatever is either adoption or going to Twilight or Celestia to see if theres a spell that could turn Spike into a pony long enough to knock up Rarity. And just cause Twilight had a book doesn't mean it's true. A good part of the time people will print their own personal opinion as the truth even if its false.
You have Rainbow dash instead of Rainbow Dash at one point. Not bad, but I suspected Spike to have a solution when he asked Rarity if she really wanted it. Also, I suspected adoption to come up. It would be nice to see the book be wrong just based off the fact Ponies know next to nothing about dragons really. And considering dragons disposition for ponies, the source pool must be slim.
2006875 Or Discord, because Chaos Magic!
2006926 I agree with the great Path_of_Cloud. Given how dragons and ponies view eachother plus how old is the info in the book and how reliable was the writer, wouldn't be suprised if the book was wrong. I doubt there've been dragons just willing to tell ponies everything there is to know about dragons.
Every body is giving great advice! I'm considering either taking this story down the adoption route or the Twilight is mistaken route. It's kind of up in the air right now. Or maybe were due for a storm of Discords chaos?
I'm probably gonna take the bitch out of this, and say that there should be two conclusions--one which Spike and Rarity are incompatible, meaning that even though they can have as much physical fun as they like (fuck like rabbits, for those that don't mind being explicit), and that magic has to be used to make them compatible.
Option 2 is simple...use what other persons have said earlier and say it once and for all to contact Twilight or someone to truly see if they are compatible even if they are dragon and pony, needing that dragon sperm can fertilize a pony embryo. I'm of the belief that sperm is sperm in this case regardless. Or just adopt somepony. I'm sure Rainbow Dash sure isn't about having a kid. Better yet, how about adopting the chicken???
Note. I haven't read this in person yet, i have just read the comments to get a general idea of what's happening. Once I've read it, I can make more informative comments about the story.
2007063
Nah, Discord's more of a chimera than a draconequus, though some draconequui are considered chimeras, they're not really the same. Chimeras are made of parts from all kinds of creatures which is what Discord is, while Draconequui can be either born or made, and are generally just a combination of dragon and horse, or pony in this case, which are what the offspring of Spike and Rarity would most likely be. There are also Kirin and Longmas, which are basically different versions of the same thing, Dragon-Horse Hybrids, so there's that....
Whoa! That was really weird seeing that Rarity image. That was done originally for one of my stories. I'm glad it is getting some more use. The guy who made it does amazing work.
I like the premise, and I'm sure with enough time, magic, and random princesses and demigods of chaos they can find some way to have children.
But the writing itself feels very forced, and the story jumps from one point to the next too fast. Take some time to develop the scene before you jump to the next one.
Oh,and on a separate topic, Kirin are their own breed of mythological beast, not a mix of dragon and equine. Dragon crossbreeds usually produce a chimera.
... Yeah... sorry. But this entire thing feels... rushed and doesn't prolong my interest to the next chapter
Bad news cry
The last part agahahahahhahahahahahhahahah
This is not the first time I've seen a story address this issue and then it got me thinking now that I've found this one. My OC can do virtually any thing so maybe I should do a sparity story with this issue and have my OC be the answer that took them so long to find despite the fact they know him personally. I don't know I'm just looking for pointers if any body has some. Good story so far.