I became a brony from hearing it on the yogscast
The year is 2039 and America is under a dictatorship. The tyrant's name: Milhouse. His plan: Universal Domination. In hopes to achieve this goal, Milhouse forces his science team to create a portal to another world. When the portal is activated it leads them to a place where sunshine and rainbows rein supreme.
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Sorry for restarting the story but MussledElk gave me some story advice and said I need to restart the story because it had a 1.6 rating and that's what turns people off but if just in case you didn't read my story before I deleted it, this part here is called the update comment. It's a comment made by the creator of the story that updates you on what's happening in the story and will always have a Pinkie smile at the end. Fluttershy will also be here say hello Fluttershy. I'm gonna let her type now (Fluttershy: ubfhewllkoi. (Me: She has hooves so it's hard for her to type. The update comment also gives you a sneak peek of the next chapter and here it is. Lyra is the light green alien and she lives. Anyways bye-bye with a Pinkie smile
Sorry it's short but it's just an introduction
Still better than Interdimensional
But...
I...
Trollfic or comedy?
149238 Maybe it's both? Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm going to shoot for trollfic
even i don't write this bad
no offence to our good colt marcosperezbromg
i htink you prettymuch stole my idea
I'm sorry, but what the hell did I just read?
I would be fine if the United States was under a dictatorship if this was set much further into the future, as there might have been the 2nd American Civil War or the beginning of World War III that might've caused this to happen (very, very small chance though), but this is way too recent. A prologue to why the US is a dictatorship would've been nice.
But as this is not too far into the future, I have to say that you have absolutely have no idea how the American Government works and how Checks and Balances come into play.
This is harsh criticism, yes, but this is just...
Use complete sentences, write paragraphs longer than a sentence, and Millhouse is not a meme.
That poor pony.
Wow...I really...this needs a ton of attention to be taken seriously, even for a (what appears to be) trollfic. I shall shoot at the errors!
i552.photobucket.com/albums/jj335/spacemanman/covering_fire_by_paper_pony-d4m290k.gif
Everything's coming up Millhouse!
Seriously though, this story has alot of room for improvement.
149358 Millhouse is not a meme is a meme
Your argument is invalid
>President by the name of Millhouse
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<A bad President in the year 2027 by the name of Millhouse has forced his scientists into making a portal to another world along with an immortality machine.
SEEMS LEGIT.
149307 ??? wut. I got this off my own idea. I don't even know you
Ok I will fix a few errors and set the date more into the future so I could make it more realistic. It's just that I just set it at 2027 because I don't want to be extremely old in the story. I don't want the ponies to be old either. No this is not a trollfic in any way, shape, or form. I just need a co-author. That's all
149388 SHOOT DEM ERRORS WIT A HEAVY BOLTER!
150947
Too late
got to nuke this entire page
I'm going to sound like a jerk when I say this, but I have an idea for a better description. It might be worse or it might be better so bear with me:
The year is 2039 and America is under a dictatorship. The tyrant's name: Milhouse. His plan: Universal Domination. In hopes to achieve this goal, Milhouse forces his science team to create a portal to another world. When the portal is activated it leads them to a place where sunshine and rainbows rein supreme.
Use it if you want to and you can make any changes to it.
152196 Gee thanks. I would like to thank everyone for constructive criticism. It helps a lot
This... this was so beautifully, delightfully insane, I can't help but love it. I mean, he introduces his audience, as the President, as 'Douchebags and whores.' Beautiful. 5 stars for insanity alone.
Well I personally like this chapter better than chapter one. Bit of an update. I will be meeting the main six in the future along with the princesses and possibly somepony else. I will be squealing like a little fangirl the whole way but I will get dignity back later. I will be best buds with Lyra and Fluttershy
and I might possibly link this story with other stories if I get the author's permissions. Not much of an update but it will have the Pinkie smile. 
The Hell world will be coming up at the last chapter. I will try to make it end 20 chapters. The war will start somewhere near the end. The microchips will be used in later chapters and might possibly solve some problems on the way. I have no microchips that allow me to fly or use telekinetic powers (I think I spelled it right) Lyra will come up A LOT in this story that is all bye-bye
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Chapters 1 & 2 fixed. I would like to thank W3rjg (A.K.A Sligs) for fixing them and MuzzledElk when he finishes the cover art
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Bravo dude, you made a douchebag immortal.
I trust you have something planned for this particular scenario.
iambrony.jsmart.web.id/gif/files/sharedlook.gif
This currently describes Sligs' and my own expressions. The quality seems to have taken a nosedive mid-chapter, and adding author's comments mid story is by all current standards completely retarded. I have to admit you have followed some of my advice and made this chapter considerably longer, but you began to lose your prose mid way and it became more of bad script rather than a bad fanfiction. While it does pain me to say this, and it probably makes me look like a bit of a dick, but you're a frankly quite terrible writer beyond any kind of help I can supply. The only recommendation I can give is to stay away from writing anything until you pass ninth grade language arts and gain a perspective on how to write a cognitive story line rather than a string of loosely connected pop-culture references and self fulfillment fantasies.
TL;DR:
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why did u cancel, i know it has a terrible rating but it could be good with some tweaking such as
not making the bad guy immortal usually helps
i dont know but its missing something else... idk im not a writer
268719 I was planning on since he's immortal, he could have a horrible immortal life. Basically I was planning on sending him to that hell world to be tortured forever.
Btw I cancelled because someone *cough* MuzzledElk *cough* just decided to do a master freakin troll on me so I'm gonna let someone else take the story.
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this story is insane not even cool just insane like wow and bad guy immortal let him get slaughtered 1 million times is my answer too everything......how windmill feels about this suggestion
how dare you how DARE YOU give him this idea!!!!! and also 
rainbowlaugh: let them try!!!!
I'm looking for a good writer to continue the story. Anyone up for the job.
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