Welcome to Cloudsdale, and just when you thought it was safe to read fanfiction again here comes fresh and blazing hot out of the oven a brand new Rainbow Factory Tale to enchant, thrill, and terrify to your hearts' delight. When aspiring wonderbolt and newly graduated pegasi Time Roll passes his flight test he finds himself not making his way to the Wonderbolt Academy but recuited to The Rainbow Factory with his friend ThunderBlitz to work and forced to discover the awful secret behind The Rainbow Factory's closed doors. Can Time Roll save the souls of the victimized ponies who failed their exams as well as his friend ThunderBlitz or will they all find themselves trapped in a nightmare no pony can ever escape? The fate of Equestria hangs in the balance in this one of three stories will it end either in ushing the world of the ponies into a golden age of wealth, peace, prosperity the likes of which have the world has never seen or will it all end in disaster in the very place where the rainbows are made and not a single soul gets through?
Here with another installment in the infamous "Rainbow Factory" series stands RachelFox64. Everything I usually have to say about certain fanfics would be considered cruel or unkind, well those people are
because I tire of the bullshit that some users come up with.
But, I will withhold myself this once and offer some advice seeing as you appear to be honestly trying (though that hasn't stopped me before)
1- People on this site tend to have a strong dislike for "The Rainbow Factory" because of a couple reasons: It was a rather poorly written fanfic of a SONG that was only written simply for shock value and disgust.
2- Spelling/ grammar. You really need to improve your spelling and punctuation and/ or get yourself an editor for obvious reasons.
3-People in general don't tend to appreciate OC focused fics unless they have been done rather well and handled with care. Also consider writing a few fanfictions of varying genres and concepts before attempting a sidefic to one of the more notorious fics in this fandom. Not only will it improve your writing skills immensely, but also help you gain a grasp on what to write and how to express it properly.
There's a few other things that I'm sure other users will cover at least once in the rants that are yet to come so prepare yourself for criticism and other magical things.
Okay, it is clear that you don't know what it is I am trying to accomplish here
That's okay you are not the first
First of all, I KNOW 
the original Rainbow Factory fanfic sucked monkey turds
Second, I am not sideficing it as you claim, I am REwriting the whole damn thing so that it deosn't suck so incredibly bad because I am a fan of gothic horror
and of MLP
and I believe a proper crossover would be delightful. That, and I write these kind of fics just to toy with the fandom
As for my skills
I am actually a published author who's works can be found on amazon.com under the writer's name "Rachel Fuess" 
so as far as editing goes for fan fiction, you know, the writing I DON"T make any money off of- I really could care a less
Lastly, these first two stories Lullaby For A Pegasus and Awoken have to be written from the perspective of the O.C.'s so that when I write the third story from the perspective of the mane six, the reader's aren't running around trying to figure out what in the world is happening and why
These two stories serve as the base for the third story which really is the only one people are going to want to read and are only here to serve as a refference for those who may need it
Otherwise, I am glad you commented, if there is anything else you would like me to clear up for you I will be just happy to lend a helping hoof