Rats In The Belfry

by Beegirl Scribbler

Chapter Two

Luna shook herself free of her shock and looked around. The streets were still fairly full, though ponies were warily edging around Grogar's pink bubble. She couldn't make out what they were saying—the bubble was blocking off all sound.

The Princess of the Night waved a hoof and smiled widely, trying to convey that everything was fine and the ponies did not need to inform her sister. She couldn't tell if they were convinced.

“Not especially dignified, is that?”

Luna turned, and saw Grogar's eyebrow remained raised. She shrugged, lowering her hoof. “I see no reason I should not be friendly with my subjects.”

Grogar glanced at Fluttershy, who stood at Luna's side. “So I see.”

Luna felt a bit of satisfaction—Fluttershy was not showing an ounce of fear, which doubtless irritated the ram of Tambelon. Her satisfaction vanished upon remembering what had happened to the last mare who'd shown courage to Grogar.

Grogar looked back at Luna. “She bears the Element of Kindness? Why have you lost it?”

Luna lightly kicked Fluttershy in the side as the latter opened her mouth to explain. “What is your business here, Third Warden?”

The ram smirked. “Third Warden no longer.” He grinned wider, showing many long, sharp teeth. “You gaze upon Tartarus's ruler.”

Luna started to speak, then stopped. She stared blankly at Grogar. Had she missed so much? “I was...under the impression that Tirek ruled.”

“Ha.” Grogar shook his head. “He turned traitor shortly after your...disappearance. He is now imprisoned.”

“Arabus the Shadow Eater? Echechak, He Who Walked In Blood? They all ranked above you.”

“They shared Tirek's fate. Echechak most recently.” Grogar and the hooded figure exchanged a look, and Grogar laughed. “He evaded us for a long time, but not even the Mantis can evade our clutches.”

“I see.” Luna didn't say anything for a moment, digesting the information. She eyed Grogar, trying to think of what emotion to show and failing. She probably just looked confused. “What of...Auros Osmosis?”

“That worm?” Grogar tilted his head. “He remains sealed away, under constant guard, as he will be until the end of time. Why would you ask?”

“I simply...” Luna averted her eyes. “...I wondered how much had changed. At least some things remain solid.”

“We are not in the business of releasing his breed of psychopath.” Something in Grogar's voice made Luna look up. A small speck of amusement in his tone, as if he knew a great secret.

She eyed him suspiciously. He couldn't possibly suspect. She'd been extremely careful. Surely he was just bluffing.

Grogar met her gaze, smirking. Neither of them moved.

To Luna's surprise, she heard Fluttershy speak up again. “So, um, what are you doing here?”

Grogar chuckled. His bell rang, and a small white sphere appeared before him. He snatched it out of the air, swallowing it whole, and leaned over Fluttershy. “You speak for your Princess, do you?”

“She does not.” Luna stepped between the two, glaring. “Grogar, you are a guest, and an uninvited one. Show respect, and do not seek to intimidate my friends.”

“Um, it's okay, I wasn't—”

Grogar leaned back. “Friend to commoners? This will not look good on your review, Princess.”

“Excuse us?” Luna reared back, eyes narrowing. This was the last straw. “We are Princess of the Night! We will decide what we write on the review, and thou shall—”

Grogar sighed. “I did not refer to your—”

“Ah. Ahem.”

Luna and Grogar both turned, blinking, to the robed figure who had spoken.

The figure appeared bipedal and had a shape roughly like Spike's—though much larger. Even hunched as they were, the figure stood significantly taller than Grogar. The figure reached into one of their pockets, procuring a scroll. They unfurled it and started to read.

“We, the creatures, shadows, abominations, godlings, demigods, gods, demons, monsters, minotaurs, lords, queens, and princes of the depths of Tartarus...” the figure read in a raspy voice, “have determined that, in light of the yet unexplained absence of the esteemed Princess Luna, rather than her once-centennial review of our establishment, an inspection will be conducted of her estate, now that it has come to our attentions that her return to our land is nigh. This inspection will be carried out by the Lord of Tartarus, Ruler of Tambelon, Ringer of the Mourning Bell, Architect of Misery, Master of the Realms Between Shadows, the ram Grogar, and will last for one week or until we are convinced that the Princess's integrity is either assured or condemned, at which point the review will be made public to all beings across all worlds, finally establishing, once-and-for-all, the so-called indisputable credibility of the Princess of Darkness—or lack thereof. Luna is to give Grogar all that he requests, within reason, and allow him to accompany her throughout all her activities. Failure to abide by the terms of this writ will result in a poor review, and may lead to further consequences, as determined by the Lord of Tartarus.”

The figure rolled the scroll back up as they finished. “We are the denizens of the most terrifying land in the world. If we are not satisfied, rest assured, there are going to be consequences.”

They offered the scroll to Luna. Luna took it with her telekinesis, noting that the figure didn't appear to have claws or hooves. There were just wispy black shadows encircling the areas—some sort of illusion.

Luna looked the scroll over, hoping there was something the figure had left out. To her disappointment, it was legitimate: the beings of Tartarus had issued a bona fide challenge to her integrity. Luna's horn flashed pale blue, teleporting the scroll back up to her bedroom.

“I don't understand.” Luna looked at Fluttershy. Fluttershy was frowning at the robed figure, her head cocked to one side.

“Then allow me to enlighten you,” Grogar said. “What is it that confuses you, little pony?” The way he enunciated the last two words made it sound as if he was referring to a rotting corpse hooked on his horns.

Fluttershy winced. “Well, um...so you're reviewing her. Because she's been gone for a long time.”

“The ability of ponies to repeat what I have just stated will ever impress me.”

“But...” Fluttershy gave a tiny cough. “How did you know she's back now?”

Luna blinked. Grogar's smirk faded. Only the robed figure showed no reaction.

It was a valid question, Luna realized. She should have been the one to bring it up. Tartarus residents never left their home unless strictly necessary. Even Cerberus had only left twice, and both incidents were infamous—and he wasn't even a resident of the actual land, just the door guard. That Grogar would show up at almost precisely the right time to cause maximum inconvenience...

Grogar harrumphed. “Tartarus is a popular residence, and we are constantly acquiring new inmates. It happens that one of them mentioned the Princess's return.” He turned back to Luna. “Now, see us to our rooms. My homunculus requires very little space, and I am certain you can accommodate us with ease.”

He started to walk toward the door, but Luna stepped in his path. Her eyes narrowed. “Stop. Explain.”

Grogar sighed. “What more is there to explain, Princess?”

Luna tried to think of something. She just wanted to stall, in truth. She wanted time to think. To absorb all this. “The...you plan on reviewing my affairs for one week?”

“At least.”

“Failure to pass the inspection could result in a horrible war. Tartarus falling to corruption. The end of Equestria as we know it.”

Grogar's lip twitched in a small smile. “You should dedicate less thought to the results of failing and more to the methods of passing.”

“And how do I pass?”

“Ha. First...” Grogar jabbed his hoof at the open palace door as the pink bubble dissolved. “...see us to our rooms before—”

“Grogar!”

Luna jumped. She looked up, eyes widening.

Celestia hovered above them. She was dressed in the royal battle regalia of old. The brass mail glinted in the afternoon light, and her violet eyes shone bright from behind the helmet's visor. She looked very, very angry.

“Luna!” she shouted. “Explain this at once! Explain what that thing is doing in my city!”

“As I was saying...” Grogar muttered, taking a step back, “...see us to our rooms before she shows up.”

Comments

[Mr. Grimm]

Ah yes...yes...This pleases me. Grogar is best villain.

I am sure that this will result in the most comedic of hi-jinks, with Luna being followed by a necromancer goat (Grogar is a goat, as I have discovered. Rams don't have beards as he does).

[MyHobby]

This is gonna be fun, the writing's clear and the dialogue is snappy!

I was just thinking that there should be more classic villains featured in fanfics

[Beegirl Scribbler]

1998884 Neither do ponies. So clearly, he's whatever we want him to be. Like Aslan, or Boneville.
But seriously, I don't think I have the heart to get rid of every use of the word "ram" and replace it with "goat". "Great blue goat" just really isn't very intimidating. I'll change it later, maybe.

1999540 Thanks, I'll do my best! I really like writing this. Grogar is one of many underrated g1 villains--it seems like most people just look at Tirek and then stop watching. Which is understandable, since, y'know, it's g1.

1999355 Thanks! Yeah, the main reason villains like Grogar and Somnambula never get featured in many fanfics is probably that nobody has the stomach to watch the episodes featuring those guys. Thank goodness there aren't any awesome g3.5 villains, otherwise I'd probably feel obliged to do research on them!