Every hundred years, Luna departs from Canterlot to launch an inspection of the mighty prison complex known as Tartarus. This time, though, the new Chief Warden has something different in mind: he thinks it's high time somebody inspects the way Luna runs things.
She's got a feeling it's going to be a long week.
Thanks a ton to Silverguard for the awesome cover!
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Ah yes...yes...This pleases me. Grogar is best villain.
I am sure that this will result in the most comedic of hi-jinks, with Luna being followed by a necromancer goat (Grogar is a goat, as I have discovered. Rams don't have beards as he does).
This is gonna be fun, the writing's clear and the dialogue is snappy!
I was just thinking that there should be more classic villains featured in fanfics
This is awesome!
It's original and I'm excited to read more
Please see this to the end, I'll be reading as long as you keep updating.
1998884 Neither do ponies. So clearly, he's whatever we want him to be. Like Aslan, or Boneville.
But seriously, I don't think I have the heart to get rid of every use of the word "ram" and replace it with "goat". "Great blue goat" just really isn't very intimidating. I'll change it later, maybe.
1999540 Thanks, I'll do my best! I really like writing this. Grogar is one of many underrated g1 villains--it seems like most people just look at Tirek and then stop watching. Which is understandable, since, y'know, it's g1.
1999355 Thanks! Yeah, the main reason villains like Grogar and Somnambula never get featured in many fanfics is probably that nobody has the stomach to watch the episodes featuring those guys. Thank goodness there aren't any awesome g3.5 villains, otherwise I'd probably feel obliged to do research on them!
Why not welcome?
also yay Grogar!
Grogar is hilarious.
I'm reminded of those fanart pieces where he turns Discord's taunts back against him, and later welcomes Sombra to the Shadow World.
2006405 Yeah, Discorderly Conduct was what initially introduced me to Grogar: the most awesome-looking character featured in G1. Except maybe the Moochik. Or the Grundles. Or the Bushwoolies.
What? When did this update? Why was I not informed?!
Anyway, good chapter. I liked the flashback bit. Also, I have to ask, if Grogar rules Tartarus, what happened to Tambelon?
2048167 All will be explained. Though not necessarily soon.
I'm basically over my fever, so expect to see an update tomorrow! We're back to the old schedule, hopefully!
Just discovered this fic very interesting idea you have going here, I really like your take on Tartarus and Grogar comes of magnificently!
I do feel Celestia came off a little childish here considering her usual level of chess master skills and emotional control.
Luna was quite interesting and I liked the speech delivered by Grogars servants, I get the feeling there is more to them than meets the eye, but I could be wrong. Fluttershy was also excellently done, and perfectly in character.
2051552 Thanks, sir!
Grogar is Best Goat.
I get the feeling that robed figure isn't all it seems.....
I love how Grogar's messing with Luna. I imagine this is his revenge.
Ah...I have a feeling I know where Somnambula is...
But that brings up another question: What ever happened to good old Bray, Grogar's loyal donkey-servant?
2078735 He was annoying, so I cut him out.
In seriousness, that's a good question. You'll see!
You know, Blueblood was surprisingly calm for being in the same room with an ancient hell-beast of a demon that bested Celestia...
Actually, all of Canterlot is, considering Grogar had to walk through it to get to Donut Joe's.
2089620 Keep in mind that most of Canterlot is asleep. There'll be more excitement when the sun's risen.
But really, all Grogar seems to be is a kinda creepy sheep. Ponies won't flip out until they realize who he is.
2089620
I don't see Blueblood to be one who worries himself overmuch about such trivialities as ancient history, nor does he bother to keep track of those who could potentially disembowel him.
Speaking of Disembowelment, Grogar is a real Jerkwad's jerkwad. Congratulations(?) on writing one of the most unlikable, nitpicking characters i've ever seen!
It'll be interesting to see what Witch Somalambalamalamalam... uh, the witch brings to the table as Grogar's "pet."
That's gotta be my favorite line so far.
2094639 Unlikeable? Such nonsense. Grogar is just doing his duty to both his kingdom and Luna's. It's just a courtesy, really. Sad that he has to criticize the techniques of such a dear friend, but sometimes your obligations just have to come first.
Needs Grogar casually staring down Fluttershy's stare, just to prove his badass credentials.
Good chapter I really liked the building you did with Cadence and Tambelon! As well as all the other hinted world building!
2106787 I'm glad! Like I said, I'm really eager to make Cadance interesting, since I kind of can't stand her in the show. She looks cool, but she's just too perfect.
I'll be posting a chapter later today, by the way. I'm just saying that so I can't chicken out of it and procrastinate further.
Interesting chapter I do kind of wish Grogar had been able to shrug off the stare but everything was pretty awesome, Grogar's perspective is extremely interesting, mysterious and cool to read.
2110190 I was considering having him just shrug it off, but it was important to stay true to his character from g1. Tirek might have shrugged it off, but Grogar is a very angry creature, and I can't really envision him just "not giving a buck". That being said, Grogar can always cheat a little.
2110297
Thanks for the reply.
hmm he was an angry fellow good point!
Ah...I think I know where Bray is, at the moment.
And I must agree with Vazak, Grogar's point of view is very fun to read.
This sounds serious...
Fluttershy's going to be really upset about all her missing slides.
I can't wait to see what's happening.
What.
2130552 Here, I'll be nice.
So, we exit the EQD Submission Hiatus to post a chapter or two before entering the Script Frenzy Hiatus. Which will actually be a significantly shorter break. Ain't that kinda sad?
AND THE GREAT REVEAL OF THE HOODED FIGURE IS yeah you all knew who it was. It's Somnambula. Augh. Shock. Aaaugh.
Oh, and there actually is a reason Bray knows about topiary techniques. It's a stupid reason, but it exists. So there. My story makes perfect sense.
Hm....I'm trying to think of who's in those Crystals...
Though I'm sure it's not Squrik, as neither are red...But I could be wrong...
Anyway, you've generated a lot of suspense as I keep finding myself guessing.
2340326 One of the entities can be guessed, but I'll save you some trouble: the other can't.
Well, not easily. I guess you might be able to work it out, actually, but only if you look back through the story. Even then, you've gotta look at the search a slightly different way to catch it.
Oh dear. Celestia's in trouble, and there's not one, but TWO creatures that could easily assume her form (Assuming Chrysalis was really there.)
And the Trolling bit was BRILLIANT.
I liked a lot of this chapter Grogar hanging in Luna's room was fantastic! And from what I can tell the Discord/Bray scene was very well done.
However I didn't much care for Fancypants or for the Trollestia thing on a personal level, and Grogar's dialogue felt a bit off in the last scene. Sorry.
Intriguing scene at the start with Grogar and as usual it was very well written, but, why is Celestia taking a break now of all times she's always shown herself to be extremely responsible especially when important things are happening and Grogar visiting seems like the sort of thing she should be around for. To me at least Fancypants is coming across a bit OP at the moment constantly knowing more than even the princess's and moving around without them noticing and keeping Grogar quiet. The spell Celestia used was very original and I quite liked the thinking behind it... I wonder if it woudl affect Discord now that Celestia is stronger than him? Sorry if this review seems so negative, i'm really looking forward to the next chapter.
2370416 Let's see, in order...
Celestia is taking a break because she's stressed. I think our interpretations of the Princess might conflict a little--I see her more as a fairly responsible mare who takes too much upon her own shoulders, leading her to occasionally dodge her self-imposed burdens when things get too rough. Trust me, though, there is a reason Grogar ticks her off enough that she wants to avoid him.
There is actually a reason Fancypants was able to tell off Grogar, though I may not get the chance to reveal it in-story. If not, I'll explain it after.
I'm glad you liked the spell! It was a lot of fun to write out. I just wanted to give Celestia a properly epic moment, since I'd been poking fun at her a lot until now.
Thanks for your critique! I'll keep it in mind when I work on the future chapters.
Oh, and I don't see Discord as weaker than Celestia. He's just bound by a couple rules now. Which actually comes up in the next chapter, I believe.
2373936 Thank you for the response, sorry if my reviews were rude at all.
I suppose it was use of the "trolling" idea that bothered me as I find Trollestia to be painfully OOC and generally unpleasant. I will be curious to see her added motives for wanting to avoid Grogar.
It's you story so naturally it's your choice what you do with everything including the characters like Fancypants, I was just noting some concerns I have.
that was definitely an epic spell.
In regards to Discord... you are using Keep Calm and Flutter on and Celestia was so powerful there that she was able to block his magic with her own and without help from the Elements, Luna or anything else. (Sorry I sort of take this idea very seriously due to some stuff) Sorry if I seemed rude.
2375784 Y'ain't rude, don't worry.
Yeah, I don't like Trollestia either--which is why I opted to reference it.
The way I see it, Celestia's spell on the Elements was an exception. There could be numerous justifications--perhaps the spell wasn't as easy as we assume, perhaps it only worked because it was on the Elements. I prefer to see Discord as a Q-like entity, meaning he can't really be directly opposed--he's effectively omnipotent unless you break out the Elements.
2377654
I don't agree at all, and I could easily debate you on the topic of Discords power (even before Keep Calm and Flutter On) but it's your fic, so it's your choice. Sorry if that seems rude.
2377718 How dare you disrespect my brilliant authorbrilliance! I can't be wrong! Do you know who I am? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Sea--I mean, I'll have you know this fic has 20 likes! What do you know? How dare you! Something! Shut up, I'm right, nobody gets to criticize my work!
"4srs", doesn't seem rude. Thanks for not turning it into a big debate. We don't agree, and that's that. :)
2510135
hehe, TY, i'm glad we're cool. Congrats on twenty likes!
Terribly sorry about the new chapter's delay. This day was a lot busier than I expected.
Anyways, we're returning to the old update schedule! It's good to be back!
Suddenly king Sombra's evil door+stairs strategy makes sense.
Perfectly written Discord. And it's not often a fourth wall breaking moment doesn't feel too blatant and doesn't jar you out of the story briefly.
Ha, I find this just as some hiatus ends. Perfect. This deserves more attention, I am not familiar with much of the old mlp stuff, but you've made them all fit into FiM nicely. Only real complaint is that it seems sort of weird that Equestria didn't enter panic mode over this witch who can apparently kidnap Celestia and did anyone ever tell Cadance her husband got stuck in the scary door again?
2515714 Heh, good point. Equestria has been pretty mellow about Celestia missing--I guess Luna and Grogar have probably been keeping it under wraps.
As for Shining Armor, we went two seasons without knowing he existed--I betcha we can go a few days without noting his absence.
Thanks for the Favorite, and the kind words!
Sorry I didn't get back to reading this sooner, I've been busy...
And I must say, things are starting to get very intense. It looks like Grogar's old rage is returning with increasing swiftness.
And did I spot a reference to a certain pirate movie in there?
2520849 I was hoping someone would get the reference. I grew up with that movie.
GROGAR!!!!
I have a distinct feeling Grogar is not long for this world. Or next world. Or any world, for that matter.
I also have a feeling that Twilight will return with the Dragon army because of the Sun blinking out like that.
And that the dragons won't make the same mistakes twice dealing with the witch. I expect the rally cry: "Burn the Witch!"