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  • 1w, 1d
    This has nothing to do with ponies at all

    but, I just... I can't not spread this. It would make me LESS ME.


    It's so beautiful. It's like being a Youtube hit a couple years back wasn't good enough for this song, and Goku beat it up a bunch, so it's activated its final form.

    9 comments · 57 views
  • 1w, 5d
    444 followers!

    It's not a milestone, it's just neat.

    1 comments · 30 views
  • 1w, 5d
    Goldenarbiter I'm calling you out

    10 comments · 116 views
  • 1w, 6d
    I hope that the rest of your seat is still okay

    BECAUSE YOU CAN FINALLY LEAVE THE EDGE

    THAT'S RIGHT

    IT'S HAPPENING

    Oh my god, is that

    IS THAT

    IT IS

    It's a HARPFLANK AND SWEETS UPDATE. Oh my goooooooood. DID I NOT SAY that I was still working on it, just very very very very very very slowly? I DO NOT LIE, MY FRIENDS. I AM NOT A LIAR.  OH MY GOD IT FEELS GOOD TO UPDATE YOU CANNOT EVEN BELIEVE.

    Anyway, I hope you enjoy it, though, I'll be honest, I'm a little out of practice. I'm happy to put it out there, I want people to see it, but I'm not sure it's as good as it could be if I was still putting words on a page regularly. Still, go read it, and I'll talk about it after the break.

    BREAK

    SO HOW ABOUT THAT LYRABON HUH

    HAD YOU GOING FOR A MINUTE THERE DIDN'T I

    The second thing is, wow, it kind of sucks. I don't mean, like, "bloo bloo I am so bad bloo bloo," but you can really see my lack of dedication seeping through the cracks. The finale is barely a finale and when you look at the episode as a whole very little actually HAPPENS. Also the emotional arc is like, an actually kind of important one but is over in about three seconds? It was originally intended as a kind of filler while I wrapped my mind around some other stuff but, well, we all saw how that turned out. Also, my increasing reliance on people having read all the companion stories is maybe starting to hurt the narrative maybe perhaps sort of definitely all the time. The whole LyraBon thing is based upon a bunch of emotional stuff that happens in OTHER STORIES, and on reading this back that was one of the things that struck me most.

    Also man I have to stop writing Harpflank and Sweets stories about disillusionment. OR SHOULD I, HE SAYS, SUDDENLY REALISING AS HE TYPES THIS THAT DISILLUSIONMENT IS LIKE THE CENTRAL THEME OF THE WHOLE THING

    OKAY NOW HERE'S THE BIG ONE. I mentioned other stories, and that brings me to the this-is-probably-going-to-be-hugely-misunderstood-by-people-who-don't-read-blog-posts part.

    HARPFLANK AND SWEETS IS NOW MARKED AS COMPLETE

    BUT

    IS

    NOT

    COMPLETE

    and I'ma tell you why. Harpflank and Sweets was never intended to be one story. "Harpflank and Sweets" was originally the first story, with the mega-cello and the fish and the constant stream of fandom references (IT WAS SEASON TWO OKAY CUT ME SOME SLACK WE WERE ALL DOING IT), but it grew into this whole thing because, man, I just really enjoy writing that stuff. I really really do. Every time I come back to it I'm all "OH YEAH I TOTALLY LOVE THIS WHY DID I EVER STOP" and then me being me gets in the way.

    Anyway, the point is, Harpflank and Sweets is not a story - it's a bunch of stories that, over time, happen to have developed an overarching narrative. I mean, that was always the WHOLE JOKE, that I was dipping in and out of a narrative that was much bigger than the snippets I was relaying. But over time all the stories being in one place, and that infernal "incomplete" tag, and, dear god, please don't take offence at this everyone who knows I'm talking about them, all these reviewers whom I wub and respect saying they "won't review it because it's not complete" started to twist that for me and it became something I had to finish rather than a fun place to play around in. So, as of now, I'm marking it as complete, because every "chapter" in that "story" IS complete - because they're EACH THEIR OWN STORY. When people talk about "Harpflank and Sweets" (har har like people talk about harpflank and sweets) I want them to be talking about the things that make up what it is, not the story that it isn't. Also I want people to review it COUGH COUGH

    "BUT," I hear you say, "YOU HAVE OTHER H+S STORIES THAT ARE SEPARATE." Okay, fair point. But the difference is that they are not Harpflank and Sweets The Thing. They are... asides, appendices, things that I thought up and wanted to write but didn't put in the main thing because they're not EPISODES. Everything in the story called "Harpflank and Sweets" is Harpflank and Sweets. Everything else is A Harpflank And Sweets Thing.

    So, yes. Mods, if this is ILLEGIT, then I'll change it back. But so far as I'm concerned, it's a collection of related things and if I don't mark it complete now, it never ever will be. And I think that would suck for me most of all.

    WHICH BRINGS ME TO THE NEXT BIG THING

    A million years ago, someone commented on Traditions (jesus can you believe that is the LAST STORY I PUBLISHED?). This is the comment, and I'ma address it now.

    THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS HARPFLANK AND SWEETS CANON WHEN YOU GET RIGHT DOWN TO IT

    Do what this guy did. Take what you like, and that's what's true. You see, for me, I just like writing about my versions of these characters. Yes, they're just basically OCs. Yes, Derpy is COMPLETELY CONTRARY TO ALL OTHER PORTRAYALS OF DERPY TO MY ETERNAL SHAME BUT SECRET PRIDE. Yes, they're NOT THAT GREAT AS CHARACTERS. But I just like using them! I liked writing about ponies because I had a world pre-made for me that I could just write stories in without having to think too hard. And then I made my own world using parts of that one, and I can write stories in it without having to think too hard. And that's all Traditions and Forced Introspection and all that other bollocks are. They are STORIES THAT ARE SET IN THE H+S WORLD, BUT NOT NECESSARILY H+S STORIES, EVEN WHEN THEY FEATURE H+S.

    BUT

    They do inform each other. Like I said before, the LyraBon stuff in S2E21 is even more awful and shoehorned if you haven't read Interval or Forced Introspection, where the depths and nature of Lyra and Bon-Bon's friendship has been explored a little. And, in my head, Vinyl and Tavi are definitely not boning on an annual basis and do not have a weird platonic passive-aggressive-not-love relationship because, well, that's dumb. But I wanted to write that story and Vinyl and Tavi, MY Vinyl and Tavi, were in the right place for that story to be about them. That's not really a story about what happens in the H+Sverse, it's a story about the Vinyl and Tavi from the H+Sverse. What I DO think about Vinyl and Tavi's relationship will have to wait until the Hearts and Hooves episode I swear I will write one day.

    Anyway, the point is, if you read an H+S story and you don't like it, throw it out! It didn't happen. Or, it did, but not the way I wrote it. BUT the stories I write about H+S come out of the characters I have in my head so they are generally pretty true representations of the characters AS PEOPLE so even if the stories may not actually be true, the characters probably are. Which is a bit confusing but WHATEVER. Like, using Traditions as an example again, even though I don't really think Vinyl and Tavi are doing what they do in Traditions, that story IS about my Vinyl and Tavi. Anyway, basically, nothing is canon, except for everything. JUST TO MAKE LIFE SIMPLE FOR YOU.

    Okay, I'll shut up now. Hope you enjoyed the story, and my blather. If you're still paying attention or, god bless you, still writing H+S stories after all this time, COME ON LET'S DANCE COME ON LET'S DANCE BABY


    EDIT: Harpflank and Sweets has been added to "i might read this later"

    Bookshelves are just the gift that keeps on giving, mirite?

    6 comments · 236 views
  • 1w, 6d
    Storybook Vision

    Watch your back. If you hand out anymore "Looks Fine", I think people might start coming for you. They know your name. YOU CAN NEVER ESCAPE.

    5 comments · 60 views
  • ...
 236
 5,579
Source

The bustling city of Metropony is under siege by Luna and her villainous assistant Trixie's army of deadly Lunatrons! Can Lyra and Bon Bon's crimefighting prowess and vast supply of heavy munitions keep the city safe for yet another week? Find out in this exciting episode of... HARPFLANK AND SWEETS. Warning: Not suitable for under-5s or those of an unawesome disposition.

- Now with added side-story, by supersheep64! - Harpflank and Sweets: The Lost Episodes

- Now with more added side-story, by RTStephens! - Haprflank and Sweets: Season 1

- Now with further more added parody, by Cold in Gardez! - Harpflank and Sweets: A Very Special Episode

- Now with extra further more added parody monstrosity, by Blueshift! - Sweetflank and Harps

- Now with extra TVTropes!

- Featured on EqD, rated 6-Star, for what it's worth!

- Exclamation marks!

First Published
20th Jan 2012
Last Modified
7th Nov 2014

I really like how the cost of the fish kept going up for no reason. Keep it up, I can't wait to read more!

I started playing little busters when the giant cello appeared. This is awesome!

Based on your Team Dai-Gurren avatar, this story was approximately as ridiculous as I expected. You worked in so many awesome things, like "I didn't put that in my bag" and Lyra's unexplained issues with seaponies. Certainly an interesting story, and one of the few that can actually earn a five-star rating from me.

>>145301 Thank you for your kind, kind words! I'm still not sure if I'll expand the universe, although I did really enjoy writing this one...

>>145482 Haha, that's perfect. Originally there was an author's note that linked to a Super Robot Wars tune for their theme, but yknow...author's notes =p

>>145692 I admit it kind of got out of hand near the end ¬_¬ It was originally going to be more sensible, more of a Kim Possible/Perry the Platypus vibe, but I, uh, had a few drinks while I was writing it. I'm glad you appreciated the references, I was trying really hard NOT to put them in if I'm honest! And lastly thank you for the five-star, it means a whole bunch ^.^

This.... How can I replace my blood with this :rainbowkiss:

>>146869 Download it onto a CD, crush the CD into some kind of glutinous paste and then intravenously administer it to yourself over a period of days. That's all I can think of. Thank you for the positivity!

Buck Yeah, that was awesome

Sweet! Lots of Vinyl in this one :pinkiehappy:

>>163483 I'm glad you think so!

>>163485 Yeah, this was the "characters that don't normally get involved are forced to fight" episode.

This was amazing. Oh man, just like last chapter - but more epic!

Also,

She breathed out and squeezed the trigger just as a blast of plasma knocked the rifle out of her hands,

:derpytongue2:

>>163689 Deeerp. I did, like, three proofreads myself and got two friends to do it, HOW DID THAT SLIP THROUGH xD Fixed though.

Why are the episodes in such a random order? Please explain.  :rainbowhuh:

>>169430 Because the blog-based fiction archives rely on chapters and they're not actually chapters x.X They're one-shot stories set within the same universe, so they're just randomly chosen from points in the "timeline". The idea is that, like would often happen with Saturday morning cartoons, the network is just throwing the episodes in any old order. I just write a story and stick a number on it. They are meant to be read in the order they're posted (so 27 then 14) though, I'm nowhere near good enough to make each story entirely standalone x)

"Coming soon: Episode 37 - Season Finale"

WHAT? NOOOOOOOOOO! :applecry:

I feel so bad for Trixie : (  But excellent chapter, as always!  Luna and her soap opera were just excellent : )

These keep getting better and better. Really, I'm surprised at how enticing you've gone with this. :rainbowwild:

Now for a little typo I've found:

Presumably sh was still unsure of how to deal with the ‘revelation’ of her identity as The Great and Powerful Trixie.

Also, it saddens me that the Season Finale is coming up already! :raritycry: But alas, it is not entirely a bad thing. Good for you, for not over-doing this piece of gold.

>>180516 Dangit, one (or two, or twelve >_>) always slips through! One day, gods of proofreading! ONE DAY! Thanks for pointing it out!

>>180516 Oh also, I wonder if you could explain what you mean by "enticing"? My brain is addled from lack of sleep.

Oooooh, this has suddenly gotten really interesting. It was a fun ride for the first two episodes but now things have gotten personal.

Really looking forward to how things resolve for the next part. I can see Trixie getting nasty and waging all out war.

Also, Flim and Flam were great! They are perfect for a one-shot antagonist duo!

"Giggle at this, ghosties" applies sunglasses YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH:yay:

Great work as always.

>>181458 Trixie is so the secret main character. Don't tell anyone.

Also I'm really glad you liked the Flim Flams. If I'm honest with myself, I think I overdid it when it came to them, but I just seriously hearted that episode and was listening to their song for, like, the ENTIRE writing process x) And yeah, they just felt right as guest villains.

>>181485 Thank you very much! The glasses reaction is pretty much what I was aiming for =p

El KABONG!

>>191156 I hope that "!" is a contraction of something along the lines of "MY GOODNESS HOW ON EARTH WILL THIS PRICKLY SITUATION RESOLVE ITSELF?_!_"

Otherwise I'm just not doing my job =p

>>191168

That's the long version, yep!  But I like being succinct : )

>>191176 Phew. Just checking.

Thank you for reading, as ever! Make sure you buy some new socks in the next few days because whichever pair you are wearing when the ending rolls around will hopefully be ROCKED OFF.

When the supreme overlord of your world conquering organization is disturbed by the subordinate's demeanor, you know stuff is going to go down.

Don't the good guys ever learn not to integrate enemy technology into their own stuff? It never works out.

Didn't see the situation with Lyra developing but it adds to the drama.

One thing that didn't make sense to me is how ExTech didn't notice the entire population of the city missing. Or how Luna even managed to do it. Magic? Will this be explained next time?

This is what I wanted to see when I clicked on this episode. Crap has hit the fan and it's flying all over the place. Eww.

Looking forward to the conclusion!

>>191501 I think integrating enemy technology into your own with disastrous results is actually a disease heroic scientists can catch. There should be a charity.

When you say you didn't see Lyra's situation developing, do you mean in a good 'it surprised you' way, or a bad 'it wasn't foreshadowed well' way? I personally think is my weakest chapter and I'm looking for ways to improve it x)

The population thing will be explained, but in an admittedly pretty handwavey fashion =p It's really just supposed to illustrate how powerful the Empire really is, and how Trixie had been pulling her punches. They could have done ridiculous insta-win stuff like that all along, but got settled into this incompetent weekly routine because...it's Luna and Trixie =p

>>192654

It was a good surprise. Given that this is the ending episode of a season, and you've been bouncing around episodes, I can believe the premise that Lyra at some point had become dissatisfied with her lot in life. The nanotechnology that she is wearing isn't helping her any either.

Good show! Maybe a network will pick it up! I think it's time for a Care Bears reboot!

>>194250 Yeah, I was kind of relying on the reader's ability to take Lyra being super-aggressive in the first chapter and draw a big ol' squiggly line from that to the last chapter. One problem with my writing is that I haven't quite found my balance between "leaving cunning gaps so the reader fills it in" and just plain "leaving things out" =p The infodump in Scene 3 was kind of a panic reaction to me realising halfway through that I needed to not only recap, but recap something that HADN'T ACTUALLY HAPPENED, with me relying entirely on the reader inferring it.

But hey, you live and learn ^.^

The near-super sentai concept and general campiness was rather fun and endearing after a fashion.

I dislike the end tremendously and the message it seems to give: can't help someone, just kill them.

>>205249 I wrestled with the ending. In fact, upon rereading I have noticed a GRIEVOUS hole in my editing in which Bon-Bon is meant to be a lot less sure of what the friendship beam is going to do. The end result wasn't their intent, they barely knew what happening themselves. Much like in the anime I was trying to emulate, stuff just happened and they got swept along with it.

"Metropony" totally remembers me of T.U.F.F. Puppy!

>>205268  To elaborate on my vague comment, sorry for that by the way, I dislike the end because of the break in the inherent traits of the story.  Forgive me, but I can't seem to remember the term.  It is a comedy with quite a bit of random, but it throws tracks right to a sad feel in relation to Trixie's issues and what she sees as a betrayal by Lyra and Bon Bon.  I think it needs a sad tag thrown on it.

I don't like Trixie per se, well other than the way she rolls her r's and certain fanfiction portrayals of her, but I think you were rather hard on the poor girl.

Aw, a tragic ending. I was hoping to see a delightfully cheesy and sappy "friendship conquers all" type of thing.

Ah, well, can't please them all. Still, I did like the campiness of the final scene and the mega-awesome-super-duper-ally-ooper rainbow of life/death at the end. Was Celestial Tower representing the Element of Magic? Was that what the organization was afraid Trixie would find?

Loved Derpy's line after the Sonic Rainbullet part. Figures that she'd get something right without even knowing.

Also liked some of the mythology that was brought up in regards to the previous bearers of harmony. I was wondering why some of the buildings had familiar titles to them.

Wonderful story! Will we be seeing a season 2? The Return of the Great and Powerful One? Will Luna avenge her most faithful servant? Stay tuned next fall!

Not a bad story, it really had that feel of a 80s 90s hero show and all the cheesy wonderfulness that comes with it.

My only regret, is that there wasn't an appearance of the Mysterious Mare-do-well. Oh the missed opportunities. But hey, There were 32 other episodes, so who knows, maybe it did happen.

Hm.  I liked the ending.  Let me start off with that.  

I'm afraid that I must report my socks to still be firmly in place, however.  I feel like the story slipped away from the hokey, campy feel it started with (which is what I loved about it) and into a more dramatic, unbelievable (is that a word I can credibly use about a story featuring magical talking ponies in cybersuits that wield megacellos?) tone.  The somber after-thoughts of the fight, Lyra's (eventual) 360, I dunno...

It's your story to do with as you want.  We're just along for the ride.

Curse your resilient socks =p The tone shift was half-intentional, half-unintentional. As the story went on it became apparent that I wanted to deconstruct rather than straight-up parody just by the way it was developing in my head, so I just kind of rolled with it. Part of the issue is that I was making this all up as I went, because I thought I wasn't going to do any more every time I started a chapter.

I can say, however, that the 'movie' will be VERY MUCH a return to the hokum. VERY MUCH. And also that I wish I hadn't been so mean to Trixie. But the end-note wasn't lying. She'll be back.

Luna watching soap operas is way funnier than it has any right to be. :rainbowlaugh:

>>229180 You seriously have no idea how many rejected ideas ("deleted scenes?") there are that involve Luna watching that soap. I had to fight myself to not include more. Ditto with the Flim Flams, really. That episode basically started as an excuse for me to write about Luna and the Flim Flams.

Whoa...s**t just got real.

I freaking love this. It's gone from hilarious comedy in the first three chapters to what promises to be an absolutely epic conclusion. You sir, sure know how to hook a reader in.

Hell, I really dug this ending. Sure, it's a long cry from the campy, silly, comedic tones I adored from the first three chapters, but I enjoy a little epicness now and then and I still thoroughly enjoyed this ending. Kinda neat how you revealed that this is after the mane six, and how you've been hinting at that all this time.

Here's hoping for more to come! :pinkiehappy:

Was there any doubt?

NO! NEVER! NUNCA! NADA!

Great first parter! I liked the history being built up. Seems ponies have a problem forgetting their own past.

I'm seeing clues in here as to something controlling Nightmare Moon and who gave Bon-Bon and Lyra their powers in the first place. Looking forward to finding out more!

I knew it! I knew Trixie was going to be alive! Now I predict that she will be the missing element. :trixieshiftright:

Great Celestia's beard... don't tell me Trixie is a Sixth Ranger trope :trixieshiftright:

With a force of ten megachellos? Dang! My words cannot explain how much win that is.

But seriously, you don't understand people. It's ten. TEN. Megachellos. TEN! :pinkiegasp:

"Was there any doubt?"

Eenope. :eeyup:

>>229548 I'm glad you enjoyed it! I'm not being deliberately obtuse by introducing a plot right at the end by the way, I'm just writing this half off the cuff =p

>>230032 Yesssss, that's right, speculate! Feed the cliffhanger for it HUNGERS. Seriously though, I'd be interested to see where you think its going x) The Movie is where I'm really getting into the hinting game (there is going to be, and has been, a LOT of plot squirreled away in the dialogue), and I want to see if I'm getting the level of subtlety right.

>>230062 I could never really kill Trixie. She is, after all, best pony. Now I just have to battle the dreadful lure of the Trixie Sue. Also that emote is really judgemental, it scares me xD

>>230063 Trixie is ALL THE TROPES. If my tvtropes page grows, I fully expect it to be largely Trixie-related. Also I hope now the way she was treated earlier at least makes a little more sense. She was being torn down so she could be brought back up. More shall be revealed in the second half!

>>230217 When I'm writing about giant pony-shaped robots having cataclysmic wrestling matches, I run into an adjective problem, so I had to come up with some kind of system of measurement, yknow =p

>>231272 Good ^.^

>>231860 Aww, I thought it was a pretty cool line.

Thanks for commenting everypony, its what keeps me writing <3

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