Could have been fleshed out a bit, but I'm not complaining. Very enjoyable, I just don't like stories to be so near the 1000 word mark, just a pet peeve of mine.
1941197 Understandable, and I do agree that I could have done more with it. However, it was based on a timed prompt, and the simple "bookends" structure allowed me to hit the points I wanted to hit in a small amount of space. Perhaps too small, but there you have it. That the finished product was over the 1k word minimum, even if just barely, was pure coincidence. I figured I'd toss it up here, because why not?
1946273 Yeah, I kinda cheated with the break in the middle. That being said, though, I'm not sure if filling it in would truly add anything of substance. I like to think that, as the story stands now, the clop is sort of balanced out by the characterization. (That was the goal, at any rate.) Another half-hour of Twi teasing Rainbow might be hot, but it might also end up being repetitive and pointlessly drawn out.
1946357 Little late to the party on this one, totally forgot to comment after reading.
Just saying, if played right the filler could make for further characterization while at the same time slowing the pace down a bit. Consider for instance how the duration of the teasing would test RD's lust against her stubborn pride, or Twilight's affected dominance against her sympathy and how much she cares for RD.
That's the wonderful thing about Slice of (Sex-)Life fics, everything from the extreme to the mundane can be used to show characters and how they interact.
Anyway, that's my 4am ramble on horse porn. I need sleep.
2041281 That's a good point, and one I'll certainly keep in mind for future chapters. If nothing else, I am going to try to avoid using breaks in the middle of things like I did here.
Well, that was nicely made...
I guess.
Not bad, infact very good.
i really enjoyed that
good job
Could have been fleshed out a bit, but I'm not complaining. Very enjoyable, I just don't like stories to be so near the 1000 word mark, just a pet peeve of mine.
1941197
Heh. Flesh.
damn that was the hottest story I've read in a while good job and please keep it up
Thanks for the faves, everyone.
1941197
Understandable, and I do agree that I could have done more with it. However, it was based on a timed prompt, and the simple "bookends" structure allowed me to hit the points I wanted to hit in a small amount of space. Perhaps too small, but there you have it. That the finished product was over the 1k word minimum, even if just barely, was pure coincidence. I figured I'd toss it up here, because why not?
A pleasant, short read. I enjoyed this.
(sock fetish ;_;)
...
Kiiiinda wanted a little more detail on those 38 minutes.
But, alltogether good.
1946273
Yeah, I kinda cheated with the break in the middle. That being said, though, I'm not sure if filling it in would truly add anything of substance. I like to think that, as the story stands now, the clop is sort of balanced out by the characterization. (That was the goal, at any rate.) Another half-hour of Twi teasing Rainbow might be hot, but it might also end up being repetitive and pointlessly drawn out.
1946357
I agree. But perhaps in the futur, add a little "filler content" here and there. Still a good story, I stand by that.
love
1946357
Little late to the party on this one, totally forgot to comment after reading.
Just saying, if played right the filler could make for further characterization while at the same time slowing the pace down a bit. Consider for instance how the duration of the teasing would test RD's lust against her stubborn pride, or Twilight's affected dominance against her sympathy and how much she cares for RD.
That's the wonderful thing about Slice of (Sex-)Life fics, everything from the extreme to the mundane can be used to show characters and how they interact.
Anyway, that's my 4am ramble on horse porn. I need sleep.
2041281
That's a good point, and one I'll certainly keep in mind for future chapters. If nothing else, I am going to try to avoid using breaks in the middle of things like I did here.