The dance with no pants

... “fire place in your room. You have no need for the fireplace until its winter” – Two errors here: First, you put a space between the first “fire” and “place”, yet kept it as the single word, the second time. Secondly, ‘its winter’ should be ‘it’s winter’.
… “out of fire wood which” – ‘fire wood’ is meant to just be one word.
… “as its convenient.” – ‘it’s’ instead of ‘its’.

... Well, that’s all I found. Heh… Nice work with this chapter, actually. Short but sweet, not a problem for my tastes in chapters, personally! I couldn’t really analyze much of your writing style, which is a shame, but hey, that’s why there are other chapters.

"Is she going to make a female clone of myself? Wouldn't that just be fapping?" Genius

Wait...she literally murdered innocent people when she tried to bring them over.

Against their will!

Tyrant Celestia much

....Why the massive concern over the dude's sex life to the point of killing people on accident?
Are they trying to bring back humans?
Fapping isn't THAT bad!

lmao hilarious and sorta grim...

To use sex as an analogy;
The argument with twilight left me at half-mast and this quote made me go limp

You know we tried what we could to bring a human female over, but the spell is far too unpredictable.

Nearly all humans we tried to bring over have died in the process of being brought over or died shortly after emerging.

Like what the actual fuck!? Let us just Foalnap... Kidnap... Adultnap other human to satiate your need (it is a need) for sex and the process kills them. How could "You" or Celestia live with that? I'm sorry but I could not continue. I wish you luck in your future endeavors.

good very good comrad you must BECOME PART OF SOIL!