It's Not Everyday This Happens

by Rupertthered

University of Magic

It had been a normal day in your boring lifestyle at home. Not much happens when you live by yourself, hoping to pay the bills and get something to eat. Though you are in the top 10% at your college, you can’t really seem to find a job that pays well, figures when your socials skills aren’t that great, considering Facebook claims that you have about a hundred friends or so. You have a decent look, nothing is wrong with you, some girls had been interested in you, but when they found out you didn’t do anything but studied, they left.

But today was different, you couldn’t quite tell why until there was a knock at the door. You proceed to open the door and notice an average sized girl with two shades of purple in her hair, and wearing purple clothes who seemed rather pale, at first you wondered why a girl would show up at your house, let alone a cute one for that matter. Before you can think of anything else, you hear a thump, and look down to see her lying on the floor. Breaking out of your thoughts, you quickly pick her up, and take her to your room and lie her down on your bed. You thought about removing and replacing her clothes due to them looking dirty, but you decided not to. You try to think of ways to help her recover, only thing you had really was tea, she probably wouldn’t be able to drink the tea at the moment, due to her being passed out.

You begin to walk back and forth wondering what to do next, until you felt a hand on your shoulder. You turn around to see her sitting in your bed, as if nothing had happened. You don’t know how that’s possible at all, no one can recover that fast could they? She opens her mouth to discover that she can’t talk. You notice this and go to grab paper and pencil, but before you grab them they appear to be in a purple aura and float over to her. You really have no idea what that was about, but you hope you were just seeing things. You look back and notice the paper and pencil are in her grasp, as she writes. Once she is finished the paper floats to you. You feel really uncomfortable seeing objects react like this; it’s not natural, almost…magical?

Looking at the paper you noticed what she had wrote. “My name is Twilight, and I have been abandoned and left for dead it seems, I’ve tried multiple houses, and you’re the only person to have let me in. I thank you, and would greatly appreciate any help you can give me to get back on my feet.” You put the paper down, and look at this “Twilight.” Not a normal name you thought, she probably had a name change after reading the horrible book series you thought, but she actually looked smart, no way would she do such a thing. You wonder if she was telling the truth, though the only real way you could find that out was helping her, and that’s what you planned to do. You motion for her to follow you to the living room area, where the kitchen shared space.

You look at her, and ask what she had wanted to eat, instead of writing like she had before; she instead opened the fridge door open and pointed at various fruits and vegetables you had. You never really bothered eating healthy; your body always seemed fine, even the doctors said so. You decide to prepare a salad of sorts for her, and get the tea ready as well, thinking it’ll help her, even though she recovered far too quickly. Once all is done, you hand her everything, and she happily accepts it, and smiles. Though you are still not sure how to react to her, she seems nice and all, but rather strange at how things turned out. You are lost in thought as she continues to eat the salad, after a few minutes she finishes and you are able to hear her sigh, “Thank you so much.” Wait a minute, did she talk? That shouldn’t have been possible since she couldn’t talk about ten minutes ago.

“Wait did you just talk? You couldn’t talk a while ago.” You question her, suddenly aware of her new conditions. “Are you fine?”

She is taken aback. “Of course I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be?” She stands up and walks over to you. “Besides Drew, I know everything about you, for example, your top 10% in your college, you’ve never been with a girl, and you find me cute.”

Okay, something was really wrong here, how could a girl that you just met, know all this, and you definitely don’t recall giving her your name, flabbergasted, you question her. “How do you know all this, Twilight?”

She grins. “Simple, I’m quite magical if you don’t believe me, I was reading your mind this whole time.” She walks away from you. “And I have chosen you to accompany me back to my university to introduce you to them. If you accept we will leave immediately.”

Magical? Reading minds? That doesn’t make scientific sense. “I would agree, but this doesn’t make any sense to me, I need to rest and think this through.”

“Good, we can leave now then.” She pulls you to her using telekinesis and in a flash your living room is gone from sight.

After the spell ended, you notice that you’re in the middle of a courtyard, there are about thirty people walking around, chatting, studying, or some other activity that you normally see at a university.

“Welcome to Celestia’s University for Magical Students.” Twilight announces to you, she seems rather proud, either from being back where she studies or that she was able to bring you along you’re unsure.

“Yeah, it sure is awesome here, I suppose.” You say somewhat nonchalantly to her. You didn’t want to be here, it was so different. All you knew was that you had to try and get out of here as soon as you can; magic never interested you, being a man of science. “So care to explain a bit about this place?”

She looks at you, possibly considering how much to tell you. “Well as I stated earlier, I’m a magical human, and this university are meant for my kind of people. There’s a low chance of being magical, even lower then getting a hat that has some kind of effect on it, or so I’ve heard, I haven’t gotten a chance to test it. But anyways, once the child discovers their magical powers, Celestia sends them mail showing them the teleportation spell to get here, and if they succeed they study here. If they fail, they lose their magical powers and forget everything about it, such a sad fate if that’s the case. Sometimes a child won’t discover their ability, so Celestia sends certain students she trusts, such as me,” She smiles knowing she is one of the best students Celestia has ever seen, “and so we go to people like you and help you discover them by bringing you here.”

“And so this Celestia believes that I’m magical?” You don’t know whether to be mad that someone seems to know you, if that’s the case, or find this pointless, because you aren’t magical in anyway last time you checked.

“She has owned this place for more than a thousand years, so I’m pretty sure she knows what she is talking about.” She leaves it at that and starts to walk towards one of the dorms you believe. “Let me give you a quick tour of the place, before we settle in.” She starts to point to various places both near and far from the building you were heading to. “Now that you know some of the basic areas of the place, let me tell you about some people you might want to avoid: First off there’s Lyra, she thinks that there’s this universe where ponies are the supreme race, we don’t exist, and that their hooves are magical and can hold stuff, talk about random if you ask me. Then you got DJ HUM4N, or Vinyl whenever she isn’t performing for a party, she loves to waste her magic on music, what a waste I think, I’m still surprised how she was able to get in. One of my friends, Rarity, she loves to design dresses, I don’t like any of them, but don’t tell her or else she’ll start crying like a baby, like seriously, she has enough drama for 5 people.”

You weren’t really paying attention to what she was saying, mostly because you didn’t care, and you start to think you see someone familiar close by. As you start to get closer, you start to notice that it’s your friend, Mark. He seems to be magical as well, for he is walking next to a high class looking lady with a white dress and purple hair. He also appears to notice you and tells his escort to go over, and she seems quite fine with it.

“Hey Mark, I see that you got chosen since you don’t realize you’re magical too?” You chuckle a bit, at the thought that you and your friend are magical, which was impossible, but apparently not. This whole thing confused you.

“Actually, I hope it’s true. Ever since I read those Harry Potter stories, I’ve always wanted to be a wizard, I knew you wouldn’t believe me, but now you can.” He replies happily, and looks to his escort. “Isn’t that right Rarity? That I may be magical?”

The tall lady that is with him looks at him. “Of course, darling. And then we you join us, maybe you can stay with me, or be unfortunate that you aren’t and never see me ever again. Oh won’t that be just dreadful.” She lays a hand against her head. Twilight wasn’t kidding she was quite dramatic.

Twilight seems to have finally noticed your friend and Rarity. “Oh hey Rarity, I see you found your person as well? And here I thought it would take you longer, being distracted by the outside life.” You weren’t sure if that was meant as an insult or not to this “Rarity.”

“Please Twilight, as if I would let Celestia down herself. And besides she is my witness to everything I do, and I swore I would get her this person that she requested.” She starts to walk away a bit, and begins to motion for Twilight to follow her, and Twilight does so, and they begin to talk out of earshot range.

You begin to wonder what those two were talking about, but dismiss that idea. You quite fear that your friend is being serious about this whole “being magical” business; surely he can't believe that right? “So Mark, you really think you're one of them?”

He looks at you as if you had asked a stupid question, like if he was a boy or a girl, though in some cases you have been confused when watching Japanese cartoons if a character was a boy or a girl, but that wasn’t the case at the moment. “Well I just hope I am one. Can you imagine, being able to use magic? One of the greatest things ever I think.” He starts to look over to the girls, who started to walk back. “And besides I get to stay with Rarity.”

“Alright, it’s time we head into our rooms, where we wait for Celestia to call us down.” Twilight announces, hopefully this weirdness will stop, just go in, get called down, told you aren’t magical, be sent home and lose your memory of this place right? The four of you set off into the dorms

You and Twilight finally make it to her room, your friend and Rarity reached their room first, but they weren’t that far away from you guys, maybe you two will be called together. Twilight speaks upon reaching the door, “Since it’ll be a while for anything to happen, you may rest if you like, but don’t bother me is my only rule, I wish to study. I have a HUGE math test coming up, and I need to memorize all kinds of formulas and at least five numbers into pi.” With that, she opens the door points to her room, and heads to another room. You actually did feel tired, and sleep didn’t sound bad really. You head to her room, and see quite a large bed inviting you in. Today has been a long day, maybe you’ll wake up once you fall asleep, and discover this was a dream, wouldn’t that be something?

But that didn’t seem the case when you woke up sometime later upon hearing the door slam while you were on the bed, and you hear Twilight’s voice. “There was one minor detail I forgot to mention to you. You see, every three of four years, Celestia gets in heat, and it spreads to just about everyone else that studies here, thus making one semester become “Molestia’s College of Rape.”” You weren’t looking at her, but you were pretty darn sure she had a wicked grin on her face, and you didn’t want to be in a college meant for rape, especially if their filled with magical people. You hear her step closer and closer.

“Umm can’t we talk this over? I don’t want this, and I’m sure you don’t want it either right? RIGHT!?”

“Yes I do actually. I got to choose who I wanted to rape. And you want to know why I chose you? Simple, you’re a pretty smart guy, and I love smart guys.” She smacks your bottom and leans in closer; you can feel her breath on you. "But of course, you wouldn't let a random person into your house, so I had to play dead."

You needed a distraction and fast, before she gets anymore ideas. You’re smart, you’re able to think of things in an instant, but they never involved getting raped. Wait, she has trouble with remembering the pi number. Maybe she can only count to five, but what about ten? “Okay fine, I’ll let you have your way, but we have to do this differently.” You hope this works.

She backs away. “What do you have in mind?” She seemed interested.

“We’re both pretty smart right? So how about we each take turns asking each other a question before we do something to the other?” This had to be either a great idea or a really bad idea, or possibly both.

She smiles and gives you a sultry look. “Quite kinky sounding, alright I’ll let you go first.” She steps back and waits.

Alright, here goes nothing. “List the first ten numbers in pi, and after you answer it, you can do what you want with me.” Her jaw drops, seems like you won.

“Ummm, give me a minute would you?” She steps out of the room, now was your chance to leave, but before you get off the bed, she is back with a blackboard and a chalk. What was she planning? “Alright you said ten numbers right?” She starts to write out the formula for pi, and begins to calculate in front of your eyes. Not wanting to see the results, you sneak past her and out her room.

Alright, escape Twilight, check. Next on the list, find your friend. You exit her room and start heading towards Rarity’s room, you can only imagine what she is doing to him. After walking for a minute you notice another person running towards you. “Mark?” Soon the person proves to be Mark, and he appears to be wearing…a spike collar in the color of purple and green?

“Dude we have to get out of here, I was about to be raped, and not in a good way, she wanted to use a whip and stuff, I’m not into that, I rather watch or read some kind of fetish, not live them.” He is practically scared, just like you were, except not as much. “Uhh dude, isn’t that Twilight behind you?”

You also noticed Rarity behind your friend. “And I think Rarity is behind you.” Both of you turn around to see the girl the other mentioned. Guess she wasn’t distracted for long.

“You really thought you could outsmart me? My whole room is filled with spells to let me know when anything leaves, it could even be a pencil rolling out, and I’ll know.” You weren’t sure if that was true, but by now you could believe anything.

“Why would you run away, darling? I just wanna have fun, don’t you?” Rarity pouts at having your friend leave her unfinished, (at least you kinda hope that was the case).

“Any plans? I’m still a virgin, and she’s treating me like I know everything about sex. And I don’t know the first thing about it.” That was a lie, you knew he knew some things, but he probably didn’t want to admit it, you need to think of something.

“How dramatic is Rarity?”

“You can’t imagine how much, she has a couch if she was to faint.” Perfect, all you needed to know.

“Alright, we’re going run towards her, and she’ll get scared and move out of the way.” Hopefully this idea works also. “On the count of three. One, two. THREE.” Both of you charge at Rarity, and as predicted, she moves out of the way, not wanting to get her looks ruined.

“Rarity, can I ask you something.”

“Yes, Twilight what is it?”

“Why did you let them get away? Celestia will rape us, if we don’t rape anyone.”

“So any idea where we should go?” You quickly ask your friend.

“Not really sure, but anywhere away from those two is our best bet.” As if you didn’t know that already. You try to recall the places Twilight mentioned to you, and none of them really seemed that great, there was the library, the café, and courtyard were really the only places you bothered to remember. “Hey Vinyl.” Wait.

“Hey Mark, what’s up dude? Haven’t seen you in a while.” An electric blue hair girl was talking to Mark.

“Umm did I miss something?” You weren’t sure how your friend knew another person here.

“Oh yea, this is Vinyl, she tried to woo me before Rarity did, but Vinyl saw this other musician, and decided to go after her and it seems like it worked.”

They both high five. “Of course, who can resist my charms, right Octy?”

“Please shut up, already bad enough I’m wearing this.” You hear a voice inside, she sounded quite regal, but was annoyed by whatever she was doing.

“So you tried to rape him before you found this “Octy?”” You question her.

“Yea, that’s correct, and I have to say, that’s a nice collar you got there. Who gave it to you?” Your friend doesn’t reply. “Oh I see, too much for you, alright that’s fine.” She looks around the hallway to make sure no one is listening. “Well I’m guessing you two want to leave so I suggest you take the elevator at the end. We thank her and head off to the elevator hoping to at least leave the dorms.

Upon reaching the doors, it opens right when we get there, talk about luck. Twilight and Rarity are inside, both smirking. Okay, maybe we didn’t have that much luck on our side.

“I hope you noticed the only entrance to this place was by here, so of course, we figured you two try to escape by here.” Twilight of course, thinking she knew everything, though she was right about this. The only thing to do was- “Hey what are you doing?” The elevator door closes on them. You clearly missed something.

“Quick lets go, I don’t know how many floors I was able to press in time, it’ll buy us some time though.” He quickly runs back, “Maybe Vinyl will help us again.” That was a good call. You two get to her door and knock. A tan girl opens the door wearing a maid suit.

“Are you two here to see Vinyl?”

“Mistress Vinyl, remember that when you’re in the maid suit.”

“Just come in already.” She didn’t seem happy. Both of you hurry inside, to see Vinyl cleaning up, you didn’t want to know; this place was already bad enough.

“What brings you two here? Decided to watch?” She gives a light nudge to Mark.

“Umm, no actually. We just ran into people we didn’t want to, so we need a place to stay low.” She points to her living room indicating a place to stay low.

“Try to ignore the noises we’ll be making.” She laughs. You two settle in on the couch, and try to plan what to do. After a while, a knock is heard, and Vinyl grunts in irritation. “I can’t get enough fun today it seems.” She opens the door.

“Hello darling, I was just wond-“

“No, I don’t have Mark here, you don’t need to ask.” Did Vinyl know Rarity somehow?

“But you have seen them yes?” She sounded desperate.

“Nope haven’t seen them.”

“So how do you know there’s a second person? You clearly are hiding them.” Rarity accuses her.

“Only thing I’m hiding is my maid. Octy come here.” The girl from earlier comes to the door.

“Hmm, similar to my stuff I must say, but alright then. If you don’t know anything I’ll leave you two alone. Ta-ta.” Rarity leaves and heads away from the elevator.

“Alright boys, nows your chance, get out, and stop bothering me.” She clearly wanted alone time with Octy. So you both head out, and go to the elevator finding it safe. You guys choose to go ground floor. The doors open and everything seems to be fine. Immediately you thought this couldn’t be true, someone had to be here to stop you.

“Let’s try taking this slow shall we?” Mark nods in agreement. Both of you start walking through the hallway to the exit, and nothing happens surprisingly enough, it’s as if fate or whatever it was had decided to let you free. Upon exiting the door to the courtyard, there stands a tall lady with a white dress, and about four different colors in her hair, three of different shades of blue and green, and the last being pink.

She looks at both of you as you exited the door, her presence screamed “SEX!” while being near her. “Who are you two?” She questions. Not wanting to anger her, you try to think of another idea.

“I think the better question is who are you?” Smooth move.

“Clearly the two of you don’t attend here. I am Celestia, dean of this university and college, and have been for a thousand years. And I’m in such a terrible heat, so I suppose since you two aren’t being raped by whomever then I’ll have to do that myself.” In the next instant she is standing before you two and lays her hands on both of you, before anything else can happen your friend is able to move her arm off of you before they disappeared. Did your friend just give himself up like that? You were hoping he had an idea of how to get out, because you’re pretty sure she wasn’t going to be easy.

You quickly bolt through the courtyard and you’re able to make out a gate, and it appears to be open, finally you can get out. You look back to the college, thinking how it all stated. First you were doing nothing at home, as usual, then the next thing you know a girl appears at your door almost dead, and is fine within five minutes, and is actually magical. You are then brought here where you and Mark almost got raped, to finally leave without him and having him get raped. You figured the next best thing was to forget about this, possibly see someone to try and forget this ever happened, though that would mean forgetting who Mark was. You figured it was the best choice; he would understand and possibly do the same. You go past the gates and try to find your way home. Despite everything that's happened, you do know one thing: today wasn't boring anymore

Comments

[Scoopy]

You got this, you got this.

[Rupertthered]

1904150 no I don't

[Ishark]

Seems quite intruiging (I do love that human tag :P) maybe this can be my new fic for a while as my current super troll but awesome favorite is deciding whether it wants to sequal or not...
Really hoping it's good!!

Plus plus read Red Thrush Private School (my previously mentioned favorite)!!!!!
Its an awesome humanized fic thats awesome but underread and needs to be spread!

[Rupertthered]

1906343
Well if this fic gets lots of attention I might do a mini series kinda deal, where the mane six are paired in two, and its always a new "you" they torture, I wrote this one day randomly, and I kinda liked the idea, so I decided to upload it.

And is that fic good? I quite like reading human tags if I knew any good ones.

[Ishark]

1906365 yeah it's actually really good as it is funny, sad and every emotion in one ( but warnin author is super troll)
And hope your story gets attention!

[3A]

*upvotes*

[Inspectah Dash]

Sounds like an average day to me.