Chrysalis opened her eyes and watched around: everything was clad in a salmon fog. She smiled: she was still completely rolled up in the blanket, meaning she was still undiscovered.
She considered that it was a kind of record: three nights of infiltration in a royal palace and only a pony knowing of her.
She focused on the sounds of the room and heard a light snoring. She then looked out of the blanket from a chink in the silken wall around her and ascertained herself that the way was clear.
She then peeked out of the bed sheet and almost screamed: in a corner there was Twilight, sitting in a armchair while reading a book with a black and yellow cover.
"Good morning, Green," said the unicorn without looking away from the text.
Silence fell as the queen processed the fact that her cover wasn't blown, apparently.
She moved out of bed and towards the bathroom door, where, before entering, she stopped.
"Good morning, Twilight," answered her, being sure of imitating the voice she used as Green Cloud.
She then entered the bathroom and stifled a giggle: the pony that saw through her disguise at the wedding didn't recognize her while undisguised.
With a pleasured smile, she entered the shower, singing a merry tune.
---
The gray earth pony stallion sitting on the train let out a sigh while it started slowing down. He was slender, with white mane and tail and had his left eye covered by a bandage.
He looked at the fast passing scenery out of the window, contemplating the seemingly endless white blanket of snow that covered the land.
He was thankful of having found a seat on this express train: if he hadn't, it would have taken more than just a day to get to his destination.
He had done a good job planning his escape in advance and evading the queen's eye, but now his main problem was how he could earn the trust of the royalties of the Crystal Empire, since a failure would mean that all of this mess would have been for nothing.
He winced slightly at the idea of being incarcerated for life, an end pretty much sure for any changeling, whatever his purpose might be, but he was old and maybe they would set him free once the invasion was over if his information proved to be useful.
As soon as the train stopped, he left it hastily: there was no time to waste.
He trotted towards the shimmering magenta barrier and entered the city, relieved that there wasn't an anti-changeling force wall.
Unluckily for him, it was something else.
---
Twilight attention was diverted from the book she was reading by the purple yawning dragon sitting on the bed.
"Good morning Spike, did you sleep well?" asked the unicorn putting aside her copy of 'exorcizing for dummies'.
"Morning Twi. I slept well except for that bump... Did you bring again a book to bed?" answered him massaging his head.
"It happened just once when I was small! Anyway no, why? And what bump?" asked the mare raising an eyebrow.
"I'm quite sure that at a certain point I hit something hard..."
"Don't be silly Spike, you must have dreamed it."
"My head doesn't think so," tried to reply the dragon, but a knocking at the door cut Twilight's attention.
The lavender mare stood from the armchair and went to open the door, revealing a sturdy looking grey stallion wearing a full plate armor.
"Miss Sparkle, I'm here to make sure you, your assistant and miss Cloud are safe," asked him in an authoritarian tone.
"Again about the rogue changeling?" asked the unicorn hiding her annoyance.
"Yes and no: while we didn't found the rogue, the king's barrier signaled another changeling trespasser. Is it everything all right here?"
"Sure, nothing to -" started to say the mare, when she felt a surge of magical power in the direction of the bathroom.
"Stay here," she ordered to the confused earth pony before rushing to the bathroom.
"Green, are you all right? I felt magic being used in there!" she yelled pounding the door.
In the bathroom, the pegasus cursed her roommate magic awareness under her breath. She opened the door, a towel wrapped around her middle section and her mane dripping water, with a preoccupied look.
"What's happening in there?" said 'Green Cloud'.
"I felt a surge of magic power in there and, since there are two changelings around, I wanted to check if you were fine" explained the unicorn trying to look through the steamy air behind the black mare.
"Don't worry Twilight, I'm fine: no changeling in the bathroom, nor anything else, take a look for yourself. May I suggest that the surge you felt came from Cadence room?" said 'Green' rubbing her mane with the towel.
"Is everything all right, miss Sparkle?" asked the guard from the door.
"Yes," answered the lavender mare turning around "But you might want to check on Cadence room."
---
After a light breakfast, Cadence and 'Green Cloud' headed for the library together with Twilight and Spike.
While the latter duo resumed their study of the cursed statue, the two queens walked directly to the deepest part of the law section, where the most ancient tomes rested, hoping to solve their problem.
"Uhm, Green," whispered the alicorn after a while.
The pegasus hummed in response, without moving her eyes from the book she was inspecting.
"You're not sparkling!"
"Yes."
"Did you hear me?" asked rhetorically the pink mare.
Again, the pegasus hummed.
"Chrysalis!" hissed Cadence visibly annoyed.
"What are you doing? Do you want to expose me?" answered the angry pegasus, trying to understand if Twilight had heard her companion.
"No, you're doing a fine job by yourself: you're not sparkling!" retorted acidly the pink mare.
"Whoa! I was just eating a bit of love in the air!" she gasped looking back at herself.
A second later, her body began to sparkle once again.
"Thank you Cadence, sorry for my outburst..." said the pegasus lowering her eyes.
"Don't worry: changeling or not, you are still my sister-in-law," replied the alicorn in a sweet tone putting a hoof on the changeling's shoulder.
They shared a warm smile.
"I'm starting to wonder why you aren't the element of kindness: I mean, you're helping me, who threatened your life and stole your special somepony!" said 'Green Cloud' resuming the search.
"You know, over the past days I grew to understand you a bit better: dismissing you and your kin as evil monsters would just mean that I am the monster, giving the cold shoulder to somepony who tries to make up for her mistakes," answered Cadence with a serious expression, before adding with a giggle "And I assure you that Fluttershy is far kinder than me: she would care for Discord or Sombra themselves if they would appear in need at her door!"
They shared an heartfelt laugh while the black mare inspected the dusty tomes. She stretched her hoof to grab one hidden behind the others: it was bound in red leather, the title obscured by a thick layer of dust.
On that faithful day, the flourishing civilization of dust mites living on that tome was almost wiped out by what the survivors called since that day 'the black blowing goddess'. One of the mites started a cult, predicting her return at the end of time, and became one of the richest mites of all time, but that's a story for another time.
After blowing away the dust, Chrysalis proceeded inspecting the parchment pages of the tome named 'Imperial Marriage Laws'.
Some minutes later, Cadence right eardrum was almost blown by her friend's scream.
Let us see.
The story pace is slow, in my eyes at the least, but it does favor giving some ideas and insight about places unexplored in the castle itself, though this one chapter lacked giving some detail or of how Cadence and Chrysalis would fix the problem.
As much as I see their issue about to be resolved, I vote that they stay as sisters-in-law and both married to Shining for the sake of hilarity, drama and discomfort for the threesome.
As for the Changeling Hive aspect of the story, I find their reaction for their Queen to be missing logical. The traitor, who is sure to tell and warn the Crystal empire is sure going to recognize Chrysalis, this can lead to some awkward situations or not if the author permits it.
Overall, the story is moving slowly for me, but I find myself happy to find it getting close to when Shining Armor finds out he had two marriages and having conflict about Cadence accepting Chrysalis. Whether you keep the three together or not, I place my vote on keeping the mix-up and the awkward moments that can be produced from it.
2023049
Thank you very much for your appreciation
About your comments: the pace is effectively very slow (even if it's not completely wanted ) , the solution to our married trio problem isn't clear since it won't be revealed till the end (even if it's clear that a solution exists), and about the changelings you're right on the mark (and yet I might surprise you ).
2024365
Well, I still vote that Chrysalis and Cadence to be in a state of sister-in-law, as Chrysalis seems a bit desperate in that one chapter regarding the stone, which can greatly help the changeling to survive and still be within observation range of a pony civilization, thus preventing another coup and may spring peaceful relations but it all depends on you.
Oh boy, I absolutely love this story. It's too bad I can barely read it, though. Your grammar sucks and the plot is rushed. Different authors have different needs for their writing. For you, writing chapters as quickly as you have been is a very bad idea. I'm sure you've heard what they say about quality over quantity. You'd be surprised just how patient readers are. We don't care much about how long it takes if it means having a better chapter when it does come out.
Before you even think about writing another word, go find yourself a prereader and editor. Maybe even more than one. Browse the groups for one. Also, fill in details. Describe emotions. Use your words to draw a picture in our minds. It makes a world of difference.
I love this story, and I'd like to enjoy it at the best of its potential.
2028353
First of all, I'm very pleasured you like it
About the problems, well, I don't want to sound like Trixie but to me it was good... Anyway, if you're saying I lack in grammar and plot, well, you shoul have your reasons, so I'll check them up before releasing other chapters; moreover, seeming that my english is lacking, I'll ask for help, following your suggetion.
Thank you so much for your time and your critic
I wonder when will Twilight or Shinning find out about Chrysalis, also do they will find by accident or will Cadance tell them, there is so many ways it can all go wrong that I hope it will surprise me.
However one think still not change, I still can not get over how foolish Shinning Armor was to make his sister sleep with someone he though would be changeling, not only he was very mean to his sister on the wedding and never apologise, not only his sister saved Cadance on the wedding and saved Crystal Empire from Sombra, but after all of this he dared to use his sister as bait for a changeling.
I hope it will end up with Cadance telling Twilight the true, then Shinning Armor finding out, panicking, and then Cadance and Twilight will capture him and explain the situation in harsh way when Twilight say " by the way brother, is that true you expected Green to e changeling, so you make me sleep with her to make sure ? ", then after Shinning Armor nod, Twilight would scream " I SLEPT WITH CHANGELING QUEEN BECAUSE OF YOU ".
2033251
I have to admit I never though of this particular situation... But it's good , maybe I'll insert it, if you don't mind of course
2029644 I thought I had made it clear. There aren't enough details, and as a result, the story progresses too quickly. We don't have time to enjoy the scene before it's over. Describing the setting and the ponies' nonverbal actions and reactions will help. If you want an example, look at Chapter 3. It's almost entirely dialogue. There's only enough prose for it to make sense. We need more than that.
And please don't send me a private message next time. A comment reply will work just as well.
2040893
Sure go ahead.
After Twilight saving Cadence, saving Shinning Wedding, saving Crysal Empire, and never receiving appologise for how Shinning Armor threat her on the wedding, I would really like to see Twilight to scream on him ( I do not like Shinning Armor to much, he is to OP and he get to merry princess and get his own Empire from his own sister hard work, he does not deserve to have so great sister, and the more I look into it, it looks like little sister is taking care of older brother, not the other way around ).
So go ahead and use it.
The story so far is very interesting. I do have one question. I don't know if it gets answered later, but I'm still going to ask. How did Chrysalis find out she was married to Shining Armor in the first place? And why would she bother going to the Crystal Empire? I don't see Chrysalis as an Equestrian law-bidding citizen.
Well, I'm sure eardrums grow back, right?