"Ok class, today, I'm giving you and your partner time to work on your project," Cheerilee said. "Sit by your partners and talk about your plans."
The fillies and colts shuffled around, now sitting next to their appointed partners.
Let's start with Silver Spoon and Sweetie Belle.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"So I hope you don't mind that my sister is coming with me tomorrow. She's getting married and she needs a dress," Silver Spoon said as she slid into the desk next to Sweetie Belle.
"Oh, of course not! Rarity loves weddings, especially the dresses," Sweetie said with a wholehearted smile.
How can a filly be so happy all the time? It sickens me to watch some fillies just go about all happy happy joy joy. I've gone through so much, and those people haven't a clue about what real strength is.
"So, about the scarves..."
"OH! RIGHT! So we should make a number of designs, for fillies, colts, mares, and stallions..."
"Maybe two designs each?"
"Yeah, so 8. We'll have different patterns and colors, and what should we name the company?"
"Sweet Spoon Scarves?"
"I like it!" Sweetie scribbled fast as lightening and continued on.
How can she move so fast? She always seems so shy, but when she puts her mind to it she can do something great, Silver Spoons thought.
"So what should our slogan be? Something catchy... Pinkie is good at that, we could ask her if we can't think of any ourselves. And what should be our signature colors?"
"Hm.... maybe... silver and purple?"
"Yeah, that's great! That could be a good color scheme for one of the mare scarves..." she scribbled some more. Silver Spoon blinked at the filly, suddenly seeing her in a whole new way.
What is this? Do I... ADMIRE Sweetie Belle?
"So we should choose some designs and colors for they uh.... Silver? Yoo-hoo, Equestria to Silver?" Sweetie Belle waved a hoof in front of her face until she snapped out of the reverie of new found confusion.
"Oh, sorry, I spaced for a moment. Heh..."
Why am I blushing? Is this... embarrassment? Today just seems to be full of new things...
Sweetie Belle chattered on, with Silver adding her inputs of designs and color advice. They were getting along quite well to their surprise.
Let's see how fortunate the others are.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Tho.... what are we gonna do?"
"I dunno." Scootaloo mindlessly played with the buckle on her saddlepack, flicking it up and down.
"Well, we have to do THOMETHING."
"I'm not functional until I get food."
"....food. I want hot chocolate right now."
"That does sound pretty good."
A couple second of silence passed before a lightbulb suspended itself over Twist's head.
"THAT'TH IT!" Twist raised a hoof in the air in triumph.
Scootaloo fell out of her chair as most of the foals around them turned to look at who made the loud screech.
"Oopth... thorry." Twist laughed nervously as the students returned to their own projects.
"....please do explain, Twist," Scootaloo said, agitated for all the correct reasons this time. The pegasus brushed off her back and fluttered her wings a little before remounting her seat.
"Hot chocolate!"
"Oh... OH! I see it, yeah that's pretty cool actually. Maybe we could do other warm winter treats like...holiday cookies! I bet we can get the recipes from Pinkie Pie!"
"And what about that diet of yourth?" Twist queried. Scootaloo tapped her chin.
"I suppose I could make an exception."
I bet Rainbow Dash made exceptions when she trained...
The two ponies smiled at each other.
Seems they were fortunate.
Let's see the last pair..... (this should be good)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"So..."
"So...."
Apple Bloom fiddled with her pencil. Diamond Tiara was so bored she was shining her tiara with a cloth HERSELF.
"We're getting one of my dad's business experts."
"Cool."
The time ticked by as the other classmates chittered and chattered.
"We should do something."
"Yeah, we should."
"Tiaras."
"No."
"Something sparkly."
"N- wait... that's a good name."
"Something Sparkly? Oh, you're right, it has a certain ring to it..."
"But what sparkly thing..."
"Tiaras... jewelry..."
"Sparkles."
"Duh."
"So, we have a name, but no clue what we gon' do with it?"
"Pretty much." Diamond Tiara checked her mane in a small, yet ornate mirror The back of the mirror had a sparkly sticker of Sapphire Shores with a microphone.
"That's a cute mirror."
"Thanks."
"Mirror..."
"What about mirrors..." Apple Bloom smiled to herself.
"Alrighty Diamond Tiara, brace yourself for somethin' sparkly."
I have a feeling Diamond and Apple Bloom will get an F- ! Well, the chapter may be short but it was good nonetheless.
Dat last scene.
Er, did you mean me, by the grammar nazi line?
Perhaps they can all combine their projects. I think a cup made of mirrors, filled with hot chocolate, and held in a wool cozy is a pleasant idea. Or not. Continue with your daily business.
2015108
Yes.
Did you not find any problems this time?
2017435 I did, but I wanted to make sure I wasn't overstepping my authority, or doing someone else's job for them. Now, I shall reread and review, if that works for you.
Official, apparently, review:
Straight off the bat, we have the "Let's start" line. This would be included only in a first-person story, or a piece of journalism not bound by the AP-Style code. It would be best to cut the line and replace it with something like: "SS & SB" in italics. Or like so:
Silver Spoon and Sweetie Belle
Silver's first line should be lead in with ellipses, to denote that she said something earlier before the reader could hear her.
Next section, Sweetie Belle's being adorable. This doesn't belong in a proper review, but the way you write for her is too cute not to mention.
Silver Spoon's italicized thoughts should have something denoting that they're her thoughts. Without a lead-in, the logical assumption is that they're Sweetie's.
The capitalized shouting should be brought back down to lowercase, excluding the beginning capital. Further on, the numeral 8 should be spelled out. As a rule, any number of at least three syllables or more is given a numeral, any less is spelled out.
Sweetie says "they" instead of "the" before breaking Silver's thoughts, which shouldn't have as many capitals, but instead, bold the capitalized parts for increased effect. And "Yoo hoo" should be hyphenated as "Yoo-hoo."
The "Let's" again, but I don't particularly mind.
Twist and Scootaloo
That capitalization in "SOMETHING" should become italicization, and again later on.
"Itself" should be put after "suspended."
You accidentally misspelled Scootaloo's name as Scootallo.
The closer for those two should lose the lines,
and instead, maybe put something about waiting for the bell to ring, or some other transition.
Twist's lisp was spot-on; you improve at an incredible rate.
Apple Bloom and Diamond Tiara
Reduce the capitalization on "HERSELF."
The "ah"s in this case should just be "a"s when Apple Bloom says it in a case not meaning "I."
The line "It was small, yet ornate" is somewhat confusing. In the previous line, you introduced her mane as a primary subject; thus, when she looks in the mirror, it is her mane that is small and ornate. Just put in a mention that it's the mirror you're writing about, like so:
or something like that.
As I said, you seem to improve by leaps when I do these little reviews. I can see a point where I become redundant up ahead.
2017617
God.
I'll... um.... fix it sometime.........
WAIT WHAT WHY IS IT ALMOST 10 O'CLOCK.
2017717 For the same reason it's near midnight over here.
Eh, anytime you have the time is good.
Again hard to keep up with who is speaking.
Otherwise I'm liking it so far. Especially how Silver and Sweetie are getting along.
...When they could have gone with Silver Belle Scarves.