Rainbow Dash's Journey

by goldchappy

Good Bye

watch this if you didn't already

PLEASE RATE MY STORY GOOD OR BAD
I will be writing a chapter once a week on average
Sorry for three short chapters there will be longer ones

"Hey lightning Dust," I said, "sorry." I was right outside her door and all I heard was sobs. "Lightning?

"Yeah," she said, "I'm sorry it's, it's always been my dream to become a wonder bolt and I thought that pushing my limits was just a more assuring way to do it. but now I'm l-leaving." with that she burst into tears.

"But pushing yourself doesn't mean hurting or putting other ponies lives in danger and I'm sorry you have to leave." I said.

"It's okay it's just that, ever since i was young I've dreamed of becoming the best wonder bolt but I just thought that pushing your limits was a more assuring way to get in ,and now, now I'm l-leaving." with that she burst into tears.

"Thunder Dust I know that you would have made an amazing wonder bolt like Spitfire or what i might become.

"Well... good bye."

After that I went to go talk to Twilight, Apple jack, Flutter shy, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie. "Hey guys," I said in the happiest tone I could but to be honest I really wasn't happy because Thunder Dust was leaving.

"Hey Rainbow Dash you forgot your care package," Pinkie Pie said while giving it to me.

"Oh thanks Pinkie Pie," I said.

"Yooouuurr welcome," she said.

"Well I guess we should be going these wet clouds are messing up my mane," Rarity said.

"Come on Rarity, that spirit won't get you to become a wonder bolt," I said.

"I don't know if you noticed Rainbow Dash but I'm not a Pegasus plus I'd much rather work with dresses instead of getting myself dirty," Rarity said.

"Well I guess we should be going we all have work to do," Twilight said,"hope you become a wonder bolt."

"Bye guys," I said. They all got into the hot air balloon and when they were about half way down Pinkie Pie said something about partying. Then I heard Spitfire's voice.

"RAINBOW DASH GET IN MY OFFICE!!!"

Comments

[Tails_155]

ponies' *
Her name is Lightning Dust.
Applejack *
Fluttershy *
Yooouuu'rre welcome *
Wonderbolt *
The tone is off, it really needs editing. They just arrived, and then they leave? "I hope you become a Wonderbolt?" It sounds pretty forced. A "Good luck" or something would be more fitting.
Further, there is pretty visible repeated dialogue at the beginning with the "l-leaving" bits, and throwing in a single reference to Pinkie Pie partying is pretty thin character filling. This definitely needs polish, editing, and probably a prereader.