Comments ( 74 )

Thanks again to my pre-readers...you guys were awesome. I accidentially deleted the chapter and had to repost, so sorry some comments were lost! :twilightblush: This is my first clop, everybody, so all feedback is welcome! :twilightsmile:

YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES.

BABS BLOOM MASTER SHIP 5EVER

porn porn porn porn porn porn
Downvoted for shits n giggles.

Well... I, umm... I'm not sure of what to say...

From what I understand of writing erotica, this is pretty good. I'm not really all that knowledgeable on writing clop, though. So I'm kind of stumbling my way through this review...

In terms of what I do know, you did a good job. Their emotions were captured really well, and the imagery fell in the Goldilocks range. That is, I got a good picture of the scene, but it wasn't too wordy. Although I don't think I've ever seen clop on this site that had too much imagery. Generally, it's those 1000-2000 word stories that can be summed up like this:

"Hey, I like you!"

"Hey, I like you too!"

"Wanna do it?"

"Yeah!"

Just add names, and you have a sadly high amount of clop on this site.

Personally, I tend to only read clop if it has romantic buildup. Really, though, I don't read that for the sex. Just the romance part. And while reading both TR and SAA are required to get the buildup I mentioned, it works if you have read those. So hopefully not too many people read this without reading those two, totally ignoring what you said in the summary.

So, yeah... I'm not sure why this is making me feel so awkward. Okay, that's not true. I know exactly why it is making me feel awkward. The reason is just more personal than I'd be willing to share in a public place.

I just, in this case, can't really put myself in the place of one of the characters. So I couldn't really get into it like your other stories. I just didn't have enough to relate to.

So, yeah... Great story, just not my thing. I suppose I knew this going in, though. I just enjoy the universe you created too much to not read something that takes place in it. But I'm afraid that I couldn't enjoy it enough to favorite it.

The ending was nice and fluffy though! :twilightsmile: Fluff is nice, I like fluff.

Thumbs up from me, mostly because nothing seemed gratuitous or grafted on: when a story seems forced, actual eroticism falls by the wayside, and you're left with, at best, perfunctory wank material. (And heaven forbid a wank should be perfunctory.)

Did I really jus’ say dat ta her--

Babs talking to AB's Vag was hilarious

Not bad, I'm gonna go to hell now.

This first time I read clop in a while

Bad_ Seed must not respond to this.

*end transmission*

I fucking support this!!!!!!:yay::trollestia::moustache::twilightsheepish::raritystarry:

Taking a trembling orange forehoof in between two of her yellow ones, Apple Bllom guided her lover to the furnace between her flanks, pressing gently against her own marehood.

A little error right there :rainbowlaugh: Nevertheless this is good! :moustache:

This was not a clopfic. This is erotica at its finest! Very well written Bad Seed! As good as I have come to expect from you. 10/10

i701.photobucket.com/albums/ww20/charliepantz/southpark_nice.png
Good job, the background of TR and SAA add a lot of backstory and stop it from feeling forced.

2236608

All of my YES! :pinkiehappy:

2236661

Si, senor. :moustache:

2237054

Thanks for the awesome review and for reading, RisingOne! I always do enjoy your reviews! :twilightsmile: And yes, I like fluff. It's so...fluffy. :rainbowwild:

2237107

Thanks for the thumbs-up, my friend! And I totally agree...heaven forbid that! :twilightblush:

2237746

:yay:

2238013

She is now Apple Bllom! :rainbowlaugh: Thanks for the catch, this has been fixed. Thank you! :moustache:

2238230

10/10? You flatter me so... :twilightblush: Thanks, Biker_Dash! Glad you enjoyed it, my friend! :pinkiehappy:

2238233

Thank you! :ajsmug:

2238851

Thank you, abopfred! :pinkiehappy:

A mix of sweet and sour, cinnamon, sugar, and tart apples filled her tongue as she lapped eagerly,

huh... So that's what a pony's vagina tastes like....

2239734

Oh god why did I read that comment while eating lunch... *salad errrywhere* :rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh:

images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2011/8/16/999a3c3e-c02c-47cc-afab-600d3295bb45.jpg

2240101

:rainbowlaugh: LOL it's all good! :twilightblush:

2241415

Thanks! :pinkiehappy:

2241553 2241557

I would never judge! :trollestia:

Luna's face in that pic = OH GAWD WHY :rainbowlaugh:

2241590 I believe the meme is, "Forever alone"

2241653

:facehoof: I didn't even realize that she was making the Forever Alone face! :rainbowlaugh:

Wait a minute WAIT A MINUTE! Where's the poetry?

Bellowing storm clouds pass overhead
Singing a chorus of a paramour's song
As tongue and body dance
In fiery intimacy

The ritual of passion, covenant of love,
Arms wrapped tightly around my body,
Promises of safety, devotion,
As the bellowing storm clouds pass overhead

2242772 nine mustaches?! You're too kind Bad Seed, thank you!

2242350 Don't worry I am sure ponies don't know memes

2242811

You're welcome! You deserved each one! :pinkiehappy:

2243860

I'm sure, but it would be hilarious if they did!

2244207 I do hope you add in hints to this on SAA , It would make my day and could open up last minute possibilities with applejack getting paranoid and/or finding out at the last possible minute and chasing them down as they board the train with a wooden plank with nails

I loved the entire story, the characters had feeling, the background was easy to see in one's mind eye and it was just very wonderful and it ended on a very lovely detail! Very Nice!:pinkiehappy:

2244685

LOL, the mental image of Applejack galloping after them.... "Yer leavin'?! Why...? ...Wait a minute!! Come back here, ya varmints!" :rainbowlaugh: We'll see if this gets a nod or allusion in SAA. :ajsmug:

2245319

Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it, my friend! :pinkiehappy:

2246005 The possibilities are endless

Comment posted by Sparkler deleted Oct 26th, 2013
Comment posted by Bad_Seed_72 deleted Oct 26th, 2013

2360612
I read all your other stories except for this one, and it's great.

2360634

All of them? :pinkiegasp: Dang! Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed this one too! And thanks for the watch. :moustache:

2360656
Hey, no problem! I like this style of writing! most of my stories suck anyways...

2360679

I doubt that they do, my friend. :raritywink: I'll have to go ahead and check 'em out sometime, just to prove ya wrong. :derpytongue2:

Omg yes finally someone does a story with babs seed :) an what an awesome story it was :)

2365993

Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it! :pinkiehappy:

Comment posted by 621Chopsuey deleted Apr 11th, 2013

Oh man, that was great! :heart:
We need more Babs Seed clop up in here!!! :yay:

2560923

Thanks, glad you liked it! :yay:

And I agree! :raritywink:

Excellent, truly magnificant. I can see the love between these two extends beyond the stars. I'm not sure if I read it in the correct order tho, out of curiosity, what chapters does this take place between? Now I can continue into Severed Roots.

I orgasmed so hard, it's all over the wall and ceiling.

2563822

If you just read TR, it takes place before the Epilogue when Babs and Bloom are 18 (they are 19 in the Epilogue). If you read SAA, it takes place sometime during the chapter "Year Six: Beyond The Horizon," during the harvest season that is mentioned.

Oh my! :heart:

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