“I am Twilight Sparkle—bearer of the Element of Magic, personal student of Princess Celestia, and co-savior of Equestria several times over. I will not be defeated by dinner rolls!”
Rainbow Dash sighed watching the ever-increasingly frazzled unicorn try to will her dinner rolls into a more edible state by staring at them and shouting. She was fairly certain that the rolls remained at the relative hardness of stone and not of bread. If she didn’t handle this carefully, Twilight might end up resorting to the Want-It-Need-It spell just to get people to eat them—if chewing those things was even possible. Why did she always end up being the pony to pull her friends back from the edge of madness? At least it always felt that way.
Twilight’s eye was beginning to get that tell-tale twitch, prompting Rainbow into action. She had never been much for thinking about what to do. She would rather just do. So she did.
“Twilight?”
No response.
“Twilight, I think the rolls are a lost cause.”
Twilight turned her head to face Rainbow. She seemed on the border between rage and tears.
“I...” she began. “This... Why didn’t it work? Why? I did everything precisely as instructed! By the recipe! The official recipe! I used the exact proportions of ingredients! The oven is the correct temperature! We timed it to the second! We even used the picture on the recipe to prove our rolls look the same! Why do you even need to prove that anyway?!?! What purpose does that serve?”
Rainbow shrugged. Better this than tears. She had no idea how to handle tears. She made a noncommittal grunt and said, “Dunno. Chalk it up as a learning experience and move on.”
“But it’s the Official Recipe! To be accurate, it’s The Can’t Fail Dinner Roll Recipe! How can it fail?”
Maybe, Rainbow thought to herself, she should just let Twilight burn herself out.
The lavender unicorn continued to vent. “What good is a ‘Can’t Fail’ recipe if it fails?!?! It’s published! It’s supposed to have been tested!”
Rainbow heard a “hic” sound emanate from deep within Twilight’s throat interrupting the unicorn’s tirade. Oh no, not that. Years of experience told Rainbow Dash that “hic” sound meant tears were on the way. Rainbow felt a creeping paralysis begin at her hooves and quickly work its way through her whole body.
“Maybe it’s me!” Hic. “Maybe I’m just a great big failure!” Hic. “What’s wrong with me?” Hic. “Why can’t I get something as simple as dinner rolls correct?” Hic. Hic. Hic. Hic.
And there came the tears. Twilight crumpled to the floor. Rainbow decided to give some sort of comforting gesture a shot. She approached her friend and patted her on the shoulder. “There, there,” she said between pats. “Um.” Yeah, that was about all she had. “C’mon, Twilight. Stop crying.”
Her words had the opposite effect as the tears flowed even faster, and now she couldn’t even understand what Twilight was trying to say between the hiccups and the crying. Jeez, they were just dinner rolls.
“How about we take a break and relax a few minutes?” She tried to guide Twilight to the main room of the library and the sofa. Rainbow ended up half-carrying and half-dragging the unicorn. Finally getting them to a seated position, Twilight collapsed on her and cranked up the water works even more. Rainbow wasn’t sure how anypony could cry that much. Surely a body couldn’t hold that much water. She wanted to comfort the pony, but this was mystifying. Twilight hugged her tighter and continued to cry. Rainbow settled on holding her friend and making soothing noises hoping that was the right thing to do.
After a few minutes, the tears lessened and Twilight’s sobs eased up, too. She looked at Rainbow and smiled. “Thanks, Rainbow. You’re a great friend.”
Rainbow smiled back. “I didn’t do anything,” she said honestly.
Twilight sat up and rubbed at her eyes wiping away tears. “You let me get that out of my system. Thank you, Rainbow.”
The pegasus usually lapped up praise like this eagerly, but this was a bit too mushy for her. “No prob.” She hesitated, but worry overrode her fear of getting all touchy-feely. “Uh, Twilight?”
“Yes?”
“I don’t mean this as any kind of insult or something, but usually you’re made of like sterner stuff.” That was a term she had seen in a Daring Do book. She was pleased with herself at finding a use for it, although she wished it hadn’t been because she was worried about her friend.
Twilight frowned while she worked out her response. At least she wasn’t crying. That was progress.
“Well to be honest, Rainbow, this is something I’ve been dabbling in for quite a few years. It... never works. At all.”
“Years?” This surprised Rainbow as she hadn’t ever thought of Twilight as somepony who cared for something so domestic.
“It started out as an assignment from Princess Celestia.”
Of course it had. Rainbow should have known.
“When I was a filly... I had been Celestia’s student for two years... a little colt gave me a cupcake for Hearts and Hooves day. He was the son of a palace guard. I didn’t really have friends then and I wasn’t sure how to react, so I asked the princess. She suggested I make him something in return. Looking back, I don’t think she necessarily meant I needed to bake him anything, but that’s how I interpreted it then. Needless to say, the dinner rolls are a greatly improved attempt over the cake."
Yikes. If that was an improvement, Rainbow thought, she was amazed somepony hadn’t been poisoned.
“I’m glad that the princess decided to check on my progress before I could give him the cake. I think he would have been lucky to have only ended up in the hospital.”
“Wow... really?” was Rainbow’s only response. She’d thought she’d been exaggerating to herself with the whole poisoning thing.
“Yes. Turns out that just because laundry detergent smells really nice, it doesn’t mean it’s a good ingredient for a cake.”
“Whoa.”
“Yeah.”
An awkward silence took over. Rainbow wasn’t sure if she disliked the tears or the silence more. She said the first thing to pop into her mind. “So what happened with the colt?”
Evidently that had been the wrong thing to say because Twilight visibly blanched.
Rainbow tried to recover. “Never mind. I shouldn’t have asked. He must have turned out to be a jerk or something.” She felt an intense flash of anger which perhaps she would have questioned if she weren’t so concerned about Twilight. “Figures. You try to be nice and he throws it in your face!” She could feel herself getting worked up quickly. “It wasn’t like you were trying to kill him or something! You just wanted to be nice! Grah! I can’t stand ponies like that!”
Twilight seemed a bit shocked. “Uh... Rainbow?”
“What?!?!” she practically shouted in return. Okay, she thought, maybe more of an actual shout.
“Are you okay?”
“I think I’m just hungry.” She got up and walked towards the kitchen. Spike had made a great lunch for them before leaving insisting that they would have better results not cooking while hungry, but lately her appetite had been weird. “Got any carrots or apples or anything?”
“Sure,” Twilight answered. “I just... I don’t know how to say this...” Twilight drifted off into a very Fluttershy-like silence.
Rainbow turned around and stopped. “What is it?” she asked a bit concerned.
“I don’t think it’s fair for me to let you think it was the colt’s fault.”
“Oh? That? Don’t worry. I’m just a bit cranky.”
“Still, it doesn’t feel right. It wasn’t his fault. It was mine, or to be accurate, I don’t think it was anypony’s fault. We weren’t exactly compatible.”
“Okay.” Rainbow sensed Twilight might want to say more, but she was confused. “I mean you were a little filly. Nopony knows who they’re compatible with then.”
Twilight closed her eyes. “Yeah.”
“What is it, Twilight?”
Twilight just stood there with her eyes closed.
“Twilight? What’s wrong.”
“Itdidn’tworkbecauseweweren’tcompatiblebecauseIdon’tlikecolts,” the unicorn blurted out.
“Wait what?”
“I don’t like colts. That way. I mean... I...” she stopped speaking and stood there trembling.
Oh. Oh. “Well. Okay. Should I have picked up on that sooner?” Rainbow almost facehooved herself. That was a stupid response.
Twilight giggled and looked embarrassed. “I don’t think so. I sort of avoid any and all romantic discussions.”
Rainbow considered. Come to think of it that was right. Twilight was always quiet when the idea of romance or sex came up. “Well,” she said. “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. It’s not that uncommon.”
“Really?” Twilight didn’t seem convinced.
“Yeah. I mean it’s not like I’ve never looked at a nice piece of filly-flank and thought about—”
Twilight shouted, “Rainbow!” She looked completely scandalized.
“Heh. Sorry. I’m used to being around a bunch of weather jockeys. It’s different in a locker room you know?"
Twilight nodded. She was blushing, which Rainbow found adorable.
The pegasus decided to push her luck. “But I’m picky about mares. I like ’em, but I’m usually more into stallions to be honest. There’s just something about a big, strong stallion taking you into his hooves, shoving you against a wall, and—”
“RAINBOW DASH!!!” Twilight shouted, turning a brilliant shade of scarlet.
Rainbow burst out laughing. “Sorry. Couldn’t resist!” She shook her head and turned back toward the kitchen.
Twilight joined her and after a few moments of rummaging around in the pantry, Rainbow was happily munching on some carrots.
Twilight had a puzzled look on her face. “Rainbow?”
“Yeah?” she said between bites.
“Thanks.”
“For what?” Rainbow asked puzzled.
“For not making a big deal about it. I mean I’ve never even told my parents or Shiny.”
“Huh. Have you ever told anypony?”
Twilight nodded. “The princess.”
“She was cool with it, right?”
“She was,” Twilight responded with a smile.
“What’d she say? If you don’t mind me asking. If you do, consider it unasked.”
“She told me that she loved me and that all ponies love in their own special way. She said what matters is finding your special somepony and being happy.”
The cyan pegasus nodded thoughtfully. “Yeah, that sounds about right.”
“I liked that she was so happy for me to have figured out my feelings and to confide in her, but I think I prefer how you just took in in stride." After a short pause, Twilight scrunched her nose in thought and asked, "So... have you ever had a special somepony?”
Rainbow had finished her carrot and moved on to eating an apple. “A couple I thought might be. Turned out not so much, though. Doesn’t matter. Maybe someday I’ll find somepony that can keep up with The Dash.” She flashed a smile and took a bite of apple.
Twilight raised an eyebrow. “The Dash? Seriously?”
Rainbow winked at her and grinned. “An awesome nickname for an awesome pony.”
Twilight had to laugh at that. “Okay, you’re definitely an awesome—no, scratch that—you’re the most awesome pony I’ve ever known.”
The pegasus preened at the compliment. “Yo, Twi," she began before being interrupted by the unicorn.
“Twi?” Now both eyebrows were raised.
“You’re an awesome pony. You deserve an awesome nickname, too.”
Twilight blushed slightly. “Thank you. You were saying?”
Rainbow tilted her head trying to recall. After a second, she grinned again. “Oh, yeah! How about we ruin some more dinner rolls?”
“Sure! Although maybe we want to get them right this time?”
Rainbow shrugged. “We will eventually. Sometimes you don’t start out awesome at something, and you have to work at it.”
Twilight started gathering more ingredients while Rainbow wiped the counter clean and dusted it evenly with flour, getting little white streaks in her brightly-colored mane and fetlocks as she worked.
After everything was ready, they began going through the recipe again. Twilight frowned with concentration as she measured out the exact amounts of flour, water, shortening and yeast.
“Say Rainbow?”
“Yeah, Twi?”
“You seem okay with not succeeding on the first try.”
“Yeah.”
“Yesterday, you didn’t seem so okay with maybe not being good at this.”
She shrugged at the unicorn. “I got a rep. Can’t keep a rep when you’re acting all unconfident. But it’s just you and me, and I trust you. So I don’t mind you seeing me work at this. We’re partners. We got each other’s six.”
“Six?”
“Flight term. It means your rear. Like a clock. Straight ahead is twelve. You see?”
Twilight got it. “Ah! Okay.”
“There is one thing I want to say though, just to clear stuff up.”
The lavender unicorn gave her a trusting smile while starting to knead the sticky dough. “Sure!”
“The ‘egghead’ thing wasn’t an insult.”
Twilight paused her kneading. “I didn’t think you were trying to insult me. I assumed you were only teasing, but I thought honesty was for the best. Sometimes I’m sensitive to being teased.”
“That’s fair,” Rainbow replied. “I should have thought to ask.”
“Rainbow,” Twilight said with a worried frown. “I don’t want you having to second guess yourself around me.”
“Nah! I should just be careful with teasing. Not everypony is cool with it like Applejack and Pinkie.”
They both concentrated on their culinary task for the next few minutes. As Twilight kneaded, the dough grew less sticky and springier against her hooves. Rainbow checked the picture in the book to prove they were same like the recipe said and nodded: it looked just right. Satisfied, Rainbow spoke up.
“Actually, ‘egghead’ was a compliment.”
This surprised the unicorn. “Really?”
Rainbow nodded. “Yeah. I mean when it started about the books, I was being all defensive and... a bit mean. Sorry.”
“It’s okay, Dash.” Quickly, Twilight continued. “You don’t mind me calling you ‘Dash,’ do you? I mean it would sound weird to refer to you as ‘The Dash’ so I thought maybe just ‘Dash’ would—”
Rainbow silenced her nervous friend with a hoof on her mouth. “It’s cool, Twi.” She took her hoof away and Twilight smiled again. Rainbow smiled back and finished explaining. “Anyway, when it started yeah I was being dumb. But when I read the Daring Do book and saw how awesome it was, I thought to myself that there’s something to being an egghead and it’s really cool. Not everypony’s an awesome flier like me. You’re an awesome smart pony and you do smart pony stuff, so yeah. You’re an egghead but it’s your thing and it’s what makes you awesome.”
Twilight hugged Rainbow again. “That’s quite possibly the best compliment I’ve ever had! Thank you!”
“No prob, Twi. So you think these rolls will turn out okay?”
“Probably not, but that’s cool.” The unicorn winked at her pegasus friend. “Doesn’t matter. We’ll keep at it until we get it right.”
And here is the delayed second chapter! Hopefully I will face less delays after this point! As always commentary and criticism is appreciated!
And an internet cookie for the first person who points out what went wrong with the bread!
Kneaded it too much I'd guess
Too much arcane energy in the cook would be mine. I've seen this used as a running gag for high level mage types not to be able to cook at all because their own energy alters the food.
So working in some Twidash? Normally not my cup of tea but this story is too interesting. I love reading characters trying to cook and the mistakes that happen.
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That's a good guess and so is yours, In Umbra Luna Est! Not quite though! Don't worry! If no one guesses, I'll start Chapter 3 with the reveal as minor as it is.
And yeah, this is TwiDash rom-com. Hope it remains interesting!
my heart, she is melting!
I'll guess that they forgot to add the yeast.
And possibly other things.
2041744 No yeast?
Anyway, loved the chapter.
*EDIT*
There is also the distinct possibility that she cooked a recipe for low altitudes, and they may live in a high altitude area. Oh she didn't add the water correctly to the recipe.
*Edit Edit*
Or that she didn't center the pan correctly... or that she didn't put the stove on convection, and the heat cooked them unevenly...
*EDIT OF ALL THE EDITS*
Or magic!
Bad bread texture could be a result of over-kneading, building up too much gluten to the point the bread has a terrible consistency. They also may have done something wrong with the yeast (provided it's a yeast bread and not a quick-rise). They said they followed the recipe, but they may not have woken the yeast up in warm/sugared water properly, or failed to let it rise correctly. Rising's very important for bread dough and it takes a bit of a practiced eye to know if it's risen enough before a punch-down.
Can you tell I enjoy baking bread? I've got a killer recipe for sour cream bread. One of the few yeast breads that calls for baking powder, only it's just there to neutralize acid so you're left with a normal tasting white bread that's the most moist, chewy bread in the world.
Diggin' the characterization, diggin' the Twidash, diggin' this. Keep it up! I was worried I might only ever get a single chapter.
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Unfortunately, a series of circumstances delayed me. First the holiday season hit and I had to travel to visit family smack in the middle of nowhere. Let's put it this way. Their best internet connection is 28K... on a good day. Then I got a miserable flu/strep throat. Then I moved. Then the new semester started and I work at a university. So it was stupid. Chapter 3 shouldn't take nearly as long.
And yes I can tell you like to bake! I've never made a sour cream bread, but I have a killer white chocolate bread.
The best hint I can provide is the "proof" is in the chapter.
2042222
Haha! Well, proofing can either mean the wake up process where you add yeast to warm/sugared water and give it a few minutes to start bubbling, just to make sure it's still good, or it can be the final rise before baking. I'd guess your hint is in reference to the latter, as the former would have not risen at all due to some dead yeast. So, If the punched it down, separated it into rolls, and then popped it all in the oven without the final rise they're gonna be left with some floury rocks.
2042261
Precisely!
I just learned a lot of new things about bread from reading these comments.
ponycraft.net/wp-content/forum-image-uploads/williamcll/2012/02/106869-now_kiss-rainbow_dash-shipping-twilight_sparkle.jpg
2042202>>2042222
Learning about bread making in a romance story featuring colourful horses, I'm cool with this.
That was adorable.
This chapter was awesome, , MOAR please .
Not half bad so far. This little bit was nice and fluffy.
Also... I knew someone who could indeed burn water. Never could figure out why.
~Skeeter The Lurker