Spike woke up to Scootaloo in his lap, blushing profoundly he thought It would be best just to let her sleep.
After 20 minutes of laying there blissfully stroking her mane she slowly awoke with a big yawn "uhhhhhhh oh umm hi Spike" she said blushing "hello sleepyhead head c'mon get up I'll make breakfast" spike said getting up "yaaay thanks Spike" Scootaloo cheered she kissed him on the cheek.
Spike froze at that moment did that just happen he thought, Scootaloo just realized what she just did and forgot about Spikes feelings for Rarity she was angry with herself, crying she ran outside to the only place she could think of... The CMC headquarters.
Spike was left there thunderstruck "Spike I saw everything" said Twilight, Spike almost jumped 12 feet in the air she scared him so bad "Twi what just happend " asked Spike still frozen from fright "well I'd say you got kissed by a girl who liked you silly... But why did she run away, you should got talk to her".
All Spike could think about was Scootaloo he felt weird, "well I guess she could be at the treehouse" he muttered to himself as he ran to the farm he met Gummy, Pinkie pies pet toothless aligator, Spike could'nt help but pick him up, he was so cute he asked Gummy if he could help Cheer up Scoots gummy agreed (really he just croaked and Spike took it as a yes)
Spike made it to the treehouse and all he could here was crying and tearing words "stupid me stupid me oh Scootaloo why do you have to be stupid you know he's got feeling for Rarity but you kissed him and even snuggled with him, god KISSED him I can't believe me " spike listened and felt bad for her, its not like he didn't like those things.
Spike walked up the ladder with Gummy on his head Scootaloo saw him and started speaking " im so sorry Spike I'll stay here and leave you alone and I'll not bothe......" she was stopped by Spike kissing her on the lips she was startled she returned the favour. As the broke the kiss they heard a "CROAAK" from gummy they giggled and Scootaloo said "oh you want one to Gummy" and kissed him on the cheek.
They sat there for hours comforting eachother and spike found himself wanting this to be permenant and asked "Scoots instead of sleeping over at the library... Will you live with me there" Scootaloo was shocked and then she let out a huge grin "id love to Spike"
On the way back to the library they returned Gummy and said hello to Pinkie. On they way back Spike was the happiest he's been in weeks.
Well i hope that was better than the last. 2 chaps and dont worry this is just the beginning im aiming for at least 20 chaps hopefully work dont get in the way
Again... grammar. I shall try to continue, but you're making it SO HARD!
I like this continue the good work.
At "Spike, I saw everything" I said 'F it, Im going to read it in the character voices from the Mentally Advanced Series/RainbowDash Presents. Immediately the fic became 60% funnier and made more sense, but then that plan had a small hiccup at the treehouse scene but it got back on track.
I forgot FimFlamFilosopher's voice for Scoots and was ready to do her voice in my head as just a bunch of chicken noises but just stuck with her normal voice. As im writing this, I remembered the great "Im HOOO! Scootaloo baby, whats yours?".
"she was angry with herself, crying she ran outside"
Okay, this is stupid. I say this because a more natural reaction would be to pretend she does that with all her friends, then kiss Twilight. It would also be funnier.
"They sat there for hours comforting eachother"
I have to know, in this case, is 'comfort' a euphemism for 'fuck'? I ask because that screwed me over once!
...and then they shack up? They're kids! (Last I checked!)
I can see the plot here but its not being used well, I would take this down and start over, all you need to do is take your time.
I'm going to tell you way i was told and it helps me every time I write.
Read out o=loud what you wrote. not just once but read it over and over until you are happy with what you have
Ssstttiiilll tattoo fffaaasssttt!