Life….
It doesn’t always go to plan.
It never has for Rainbow Dash.
One drunken summer’s night was all it took to change her life. Now Rainbow Dash finds herself pregnant. Follow her as faces this unexpected event.
Chapters (6)
PonyBlue
Joined 3rd Sep, 2011 ·
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It's got some missteps here and there (the abortion bit is awkward and Applebloom's bit is really awkward in the wrong way), but this is a pretty solid intro into some not often tread (to my knowledge) territory.
Good start. Hope you get to take this to its logical conclusion.
An intriguing story so far, especially in the way that youve managed to keep everyone actually in character. which seems a hard task.
The only issue i do have is with the whole 'Maybe… I should…. you know…. end it.' line. Because im not totally sure what its supposed to be meaning. Is this a suicide option, in which case Applejack is perfectly correct to push it down but seems to take it rather nonchalantly for something so serious. Or is it an abortion option, in which case Applejack gives a creepily strong anti-abortion message which really isnt up to her to decide upon. Which doesnt really fit with the tone of the story either since Nurse Redheart seemed to imply that was very much an option.
Either way its pretty out of place.
At any rate. I cant actually see how this story could end well. Sure, Big Macintosh and Rainbow Dash could suddenly just fall in love. But frankly that seems about as likely as the sun turning purple. They might grow affectionate towards one another, but having a child right off the bat without even knowing if the relationship will last just sounds stupid. And neither Rainbow nor Big Macintosh seem like theyd go for that.
Even if she does have the child, it more or less destroys her dream of being a wonderbolt. And im not sure Big Apple Acres is financially sound enough for Big Macintosh to even raise a kid. Plus. yknow. Pegasus bucking apples? Nah.
On the other hand. Ending the story with "And she had an abortion and lived happily ever after" - while undoubtedly the best most sensible option all around - just isnt how stories generally end. Its not exactly an unhappy ending, its just a weird ending.
At any rate, ill be watching with interest for more. If only to figure out where your gonna get out of this corner youve written yourself into. 4/5 stars.
Alright, few things.
You lost me a bit in the end. Maybe it was just my attention span, but to me it seemed a little "flat".
Also, there were quite a few grammatical errors that kinda irked me, like you spelled "something" as "sumething" along with a few others. Not sure if that was intentional or not lol, and I am pretty sure there is no space between "Apple" and "Jack".
Plus, you called Applebloom green
Other than that it is a quality story. I hope you can finish it off strong
I'm not sure how Apple Bloom is green, or why Applejack's name is two words, but this is a decent story so far.
3340
Ops... I'll go and correct that pronto. Poor Apple Bloom ain't green.
To answer the question on Applejack's name,
I chose to spell Applejack's name Apple Jack because the names of most female members of the Apple clan follows the form of Apple X (ie Apple Bloom, Apple Fritter, Apple Bumpkin, Apple Tart, etc).
In contrast, when naming stallions in the Apple clan, the clan name appears be omitted. (ie Macintosh, Braeburn, Caramel). Although it is possible Caramel might be a hired hand on the farm.
This difference in name structure might be extrapolated as a hint of pony society. And given the Pony society appears matrilineal, with a natural female to male population ratio of at least 3:1. The implications are interesting to explore.
Also, I would imagine that Rarity’s full name would be Sweet Rarity, given her younger sister is Sweetie Belle. (which I image is the child form of Sweet Belle)
And yes, I am over thinking a cartoon. So take it as artistic license.
Here is hoping for a second chapter XD
The amount of potential in this story is frankly staggering
There is one line in particular that has me very interested in what may happen next. "It would not have a father, or herd of parents, siblings and half siblings." The implications of that line being that there are essentially Two different types of standardized family units in equestria. The two parent household consisting of 2 adults (gender not withstanding) or the "herd" in which there is ...........for lack of a better term a "Harem" of females and a smaller number of males or the opposite with females being the minority in the group with everyone sharing the responsibility of raising the young. I would love to read about how that works into rainbow dash's plans for the future.
(
:at the thought of Mac starting a herd 
with members of the mane six that would be one interesting read 
)
I haven't seen this scenario yet in a fic yet and its breath of fresh air to read .
kudos on not going with the "fan preference" when it comes to Dash
Keep up the good work Blue
Interesting, it is indeed something I have never seen on a MLP: FIM fic. It's a hard thing to deal with... especially with how it will change RD's life... anyway, just read the first chapter so far, so we'll see what follows.
3337 the first thing I thought was that Applejack would NOT approve of abortion. Given her family size and family-oriented upbringing and attitude it is perfectly believable for her to be against abortion, even if it is an option. And I imagined Big Mac would also be against it, and although the final choice is RD's since they are not married or anything like that, if he takes some responsibility his opinion counts too, to some level.
!
aww por rainbow
THIS is the rainbowmac fic ive been hoping for. Don't worry about the haters, nothing was out of place, everythnig was in charachter and tasteful. You know how the scene is, way too positive for some fics and way too critical of others.
This is absolutely slammed with spelling and grammar errors... and you still spell Applejack's name as two words for some reason. And her dialogue is TERRIBLE.
Still, I'm glad to see this story uploaded. It's intruging, though this chapter ends on an odd spot. You also sure like going off on tangents, but that Spike one was pretty humorous.
9575
I do need a spell checker or an editor and probably a lot of input from others. Any idea where I can go to get editing help? Meanwhile I will endeavour to clean up the spelling mistake. I thought I got most of them.
And yes... i do like going off tangent a bit. I'll try stop that or at least minimize it. It is a story about Rainbow Dash and Big Macintosh. Every one else is incidental. I have to keep that in mind.
The chapter ends abruptly because it actually hasn't reached its end. However at the rate i am going it maybe another month before I can even finish that scene. I really want to force myself to finish this story else it will end up like every other of my fanfic, unfinished.
interesting
Dat introductory tangent... that was random even with the explanation of self-distraction.
Certainly had a deluge of errors too... but ScyStorm already touched on those to an extent (there seemed to be an awful lot of missing plurals and possessives, so that might be a specific to watch for).
You've really got to watch AJ's accent, too. 'Yer' typically stands in for 'you're' are or 'your,' almost never (if ever) for 'you.' So “Dash, yer okay.” should probably be "Dash, you okay?" or "Dash, yew okay?" if you still want the you accented (don't think she has a thick enough accent to justify that, however).
You've got an intriguing core plot to work with, which makes the mistakes a bit saddening.
9725
Thanks for pointers on A.J accent.
I have removed the introductory tangent. I have corrected a few more spelling error. I don't know if I got them all.
Yes, that is one of my fears too. Interesting plot but doesn't quite have the caliber to carry it. But what can one do but try and hope the skills appear during the course of the exercise.
Some points from a big fan of this story
Stay focused on the Main plot of this piece.
Try not to change The emotional "state" of the scene so abruptly.
Your characterizations are spot on.
Keep in mind that you are writing for others to read, so reread the story constantly to check if it flows properly.
Remember. Stream of Consciousness writing (or Free Writing) can be an awesome tool for getting words on the Page but it must be reined in to Keep the story Cohesive. An active mind can produce things that seem great to you but are confusing to others ( that does not mean that said things are not great) which must be explained for them to be understood and appreciated.
It seems you have an abundance of great ideas in your head and you seem to be in a rush to get them all out there ( I have the same problem).
An excellent example is the spike scene which is actually pretty good. But it is completely Irrelevant to the plot and contributes nothing to the narrative. If you still want to add Pieces of story like that I have some advice.
Write the main Plot of the story and ONLY the main plot.
Then add said tangents .
Then Reread the story with said Tangents and see if they still feel appropriate.
I may sound a bit condescending but believe me when I say that I truly Enjoy reading this story and believe it has a great deal of potential for awesome characterization.
also feel free to correct me on anything in my comment
I am far from perfect
3337 The sun turning purple?
Challenge accepted
Speaking of which, that Angle Bunny of Fluttershy gave her a serious case of the heebie-jeebies. That rabbit didn’t seem quite right.
Could it be... you know... that angel is...
Because that looks like a foreshadow if I ever did see one.
lol when is next chapter coming out
25910
Having a bit of problem with dialog between Apple Jack and Twilight. Can't seem to get the tone right.
The look on Shikamaru's face was a complete different from his usual facial expression. No more bored eyes, no more mild, sober reflection. Shikamaru looked like he was ready to blow the whole Konohagakure into dust.
unless I missed something it
looks like some one has been writing too many things at once XD
I think you struck a fairly good tone so far. The tone is serious but still maintains that awkward ignorance the entire main cast would have in this situation.
44480
PS
I like where this story is going Everypony is trying to run dash's life and eventually she will have to decide what is best for her.
Also I feel you handled the abortion issue very well, most get caught up in taking sides
the end of the chapter was excellent your tone and focus have vastly improved and this story is looking very strong
I knew you could do it
keep it up
Yess...my mistake. That was actually how I was feeling while trying to write the dialog. I wasn't quite sure how the ponies would react. Twilight and Apple Jack kept becoming too antagonistic in the scene. So out of nowhere, Shikamaru appears and blows up ponyville and twilight's house. Thus allowing me to move the next scene
.
I forgot to delete that.
MOAR! MOAR! I love all of this bitter-sweet stuff.
Such building tension...
And I'm surprisingly pleased that you didn't go for the cliched "Yes, I do love her" plot.
You have continued my interest in this story.
He doesn't love her? That's very good! I'm I interested to see what Dash thinks about it. Did she love him? Will she keep foal?
gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasp
i was waiting for this....AND IT WAS WORTH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
At the end of Chapter 1, I'm thinking it should be "Angel Bunny" not "Angle Bunny." Just sayin'
ABORTION FOR THE WIN(dash kill that fetus and be done with it)
images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2011/6/1/af1e7633-2fbb-44b4-baa4-141d0ebf2137.jpg
terrific
Wow blue
That was a great chapter
Keep it up
*Snif* This is the best fic i've read in a while
Thank you so much
Also
IF there's an abortion..
I shall hunt you down.
:D Kay?
This is pretty interesting! Although, if it is a story about rainbow dash and big McIntosh, then do you think you should give them more screen time? (dont know the appropriate transcript version of screen time lolz) Other than that, I have no idea what most of these people are talking about! (in each chapter) Your story is through the roof! KEEP IT GOING!!!
56827 listen to Deoface, asshole.
I am not fond with babies, but animal ones are a-okay with me. But still, there is something fucking wrong with you! I CALL DOWN THE SPIRIT OF THE SPYDER TO COME AND RAPE YOU FAT ASS!!! 
....And the award for things you don't expect to read in a My Little Pony story goes to....THAT!
Dash getting pregnant is one thing...not expected but not as a big a surprise as Big Mac NOT being in love with her, gonna marry her, etc. Honestly? I like that. It's trite, it's corny and its pretty out of date. Kinda like Applejack's reactions/assumptions.
You raised a really delicate and passion-stoking conflict in this story. I would've said controversial but it really isn't. Not for me at any rate. Given AJ's views I can't imagine Dash getting an abortion and not having that come between them, perhaps even permanently. But I like how the emphasis is now on Big Mac and his relations.
The pacing and the writing are really well done and the characters are pretty true to themselves, insofar as they can be in this situation that falls pretty far from their normal fields. It sounds true to me anyway. So I will definitely be keeping an eye open for updates for this really interesting story.
87089
are you saying that mac "not" wanting to marry dash is trite and out of date
or
are you referring to the "They are in love Because I said so" Mentality of shipping fics
87089>>94379
I kid
I kid
94379
I was referring to the idea of the two suddenly falling in love and working things out the second they find out that a baby is on the way despite not having any relationship beforehand.
94533
Yeah I figured that's what you meant....
Sry it was 4 in the morning and It sounded a lot funnier in my head
Frankly you like the story for almost the same reasons I started reading it in the first place.
It's different ....very different
In the best possible way
MORE PLEASE!!! And don't listen to suika. Why do people want abortions so much!?
81392
oh my you are mad
pleeeeeese update soon. this story has really sparked my intrest. to all the people who say Dash should have an abortion, would you really read a fic where that happened? think about it.
I hope to see an update soon - I'm very interested to see how this story works out! :)
My two bits is this, I think Big Mac thinks he'd only hold Dash back. She's talking about joining the Wonderbolts all the time and he might think marrying her would 'force' her to settle down and likely give up on her dreams. Naturally this is the kind of blockhead conclusion you expect from the nice guy who hasn't thought things through.
For "acquitted", you want "acquainted". for "Careful" you want carefully. Not sure what you were trying to do with "''ma do the talking", but it doesn't look right. There's a little comma overuse, too.
Putting the flashbacks in italics or separating them from the main body of the story would make it easier to distinguish between them.
I note that you remedied most of the structural issues in later chapters. Going back and punching this chapter up a bit might be a good idea.
Sorry to nitpick such an interesting story.
Very Deep... I like. No simple shipping here or straight out lovey-happening, but a very realistic situation with no clear cut right or wrong. And it brings out how the 'big' debate can trouble even the greatest friendships. The sense of Consequence that is attached is just fantastic, especially now that Granny Smith and all of them are involved. You do a very good job of making the characters into Three-Dimensional 'People' rather than flat ponies, and for that I applaud you.
Looking forward to the continuation with great anticipation.
Good story, wonder how pinkie will react to dash's foal...