I had my tongue sticking out of my mouth in concentration as I masterfully manipulated the stone with my totally alien appendage. They were much like Spikes claws but not as sharp or scaly. I'm kinda glad I did this because I do feel a bit better.
“... And... done.” I say to nopony in particular. I crawled backwards despite the pain warnings being sent to my brain so I could get a better look at what I’ve done. I regretted that decision immediately. Scratched into the stone in white was a crudely, but somewhat beautifully, drawn picture of my library and my friends. Spike and I stood in front while Rainbow Dash flew overhead. I was flanked by Applejack on my immediate right, who was doing her trademarked leg cross thing, and Rarity on my left, who was levitating a gem of some sort. To the far right, Pinkie Pie lied on top of a surprised Fluttershy who was just on the receiving end of a tackle-hug. To my far left, flew Owlicious holding a book in his talons. This mural took the better half of what I would guess was four or five hours to do... and it served to depress me further.
I slumped down and started to cry silently. I wept for myself. I wept for my friends. And I wept for Spike. Then a realization hit me. If the princess would find out what she had done to me... well... never mind. She wouldn’t care. I’m not exactly worth the trouble. Heck... maybe her choosing me as her personal student was just part of some elaborately cruel joke. For all I know, that could be the case. She has the power time and money to do so. She obviously isn’t afraid to get her hooves dirty or at least have my own brother get his hooves dirty. She’s never shown her face to me except for a single time after this happened. Ever since that... thing... trapped me in this body. Princess Celestia wanted me to be killed on the spot... until she noticed my hair on the clothes the creature was wearing... the clothes I was wearing. When I tried to defend my self and tell her it was me, she gagged me. How would she be so cruel and indifferent? Why?
She even... turned my own friends against me. Fluttershy seemed to be the only one willing to stand up to me but she shot down her argument before she could give one. Maybe Princess Celestia isn’t the kind and gentle ruler she is made out to be... maybe she isn’t the pony I thought she was.
It hurts... I can’t stop thinking... It just hurts so much. I know its the truth but I want no part of it. I just want things to go back to the way they were. I only want to go back home with Spike asking me for a break and always being jealous of Owlicious. Home... the place where I would read for hours on end and where ponies came to borrow and return books. The place where ponies who didn’t even know me threw a party for me only out of the kindness of their hearts and where wacky things would happen every others Tuesday.
Just.... why does it have to be me? How did I come to this? Just a few weeks ago I was happy. I was living my life.... and maybe... falling in love. But she wouldn’t feel the same way for me... especially now. I can see my reflection in the water bucket and its perfectly clear: I’m a monster now. And I’ll probably be like this forever.
My thoughts were interrupted by a distant boom and the sound of yelling. Dust trickled from the ceiling as the entire place shuddered. I don’t care though its just a magic experiment gone wrong in Canterlot University or something. I resumed crying while I heard the sounds of galloping behind me. It’s probably just a guard coming to prevent me from “escaping" after those rumbles. It gives them an excuse to. I only curled up in a ball and waited for the inevitable...
It never came. I looked up expecting a guard and was surprised by the face of Cadence. However, this could be another hallucination. The possibly imaginary Cadence looked down at me. I had to squint because there was a torch directly behind her head. I was surprised again when Cadence's eyes filled with tears and she embraced me in a hug. It then dawned on me that this could still be part of probable cruel joke being played for everypony else’s amusement. This Cadence is real but I’m not falling for anypony’s tricks ever again. I’d rather sit here and rot than fall prey to the same trick twice.
Cadence looked at me with pity and I briefly humored the thought that this could be for real... that Cadence did care and was here to break me out, but logic kicked in and dictated that she would have tried getting me out as soon as I was put in. As soon as that thought passed... the world seemed a little bit greyer and Cadence, no longer my salvation. There was no hope for me get out of this. Even my old foalsitter couldn’t save me even when she stood directly in front of me. Another thought occuered. Why am I still alive? And my mind was made up.
I looked up and without any hope for mercy I asked for it anyways. “Please... k-kill me.”
P.S. first
Wait Homework? At this time of year?
1907083 Eeyup. It's Winter Break here in little old rinky-dink Kansas.
I hope to the Tyrant Overlord Baal that you DON'T kill Twilight... it wouldn't make the end of the last chapter make any sense, dood.
1907091 *dances in circles*
~I know the story line and you don't~
1907098 Curse you for being the author, and curse me for being a prinny with low intelligence, dood.
Hmm, are we going to see the scene where the other elements were present?
1907108 Nice for knowing your place, mortal.
*uses god powers to super jump but forgets there is a roof and breaks neck on impact*
DED
Please don't making any shippings play a vital role in this....
I love this story. It is awsome.
1907122 Have you ever tried punching metal roofing?
And when they realize she is the real one... its going to be one hell of a day
I hope Celestia is hated from now on
I hope Cadance divorces with that user of a brother (Shining)
I hope Twilight may find peace in whatever happens to her
Poor Twilight, she just seems so hopeless right now. And, poor Cadance; to hear Twilight say something like that would be heartbreaking. Here I'm hoping everything will come out right for them.
---
I'm not so sure about the shipping part myself, there is no subtle build-up to it, and honestly really doesn't serve any real purpose, other than serving as a slightly overdone and out-of-the-blue fan-service. You are doing an amazing job right now; the story is very deep and attention-grabbing as it is, and frankly, the story doesn't need it.
Sorry if I seems harsh, I'm not trying to offend you or anything like that, I think you're doing an excellent job with this. So, I hope you don't mind my opinion. Whatever the case that you decided, however, I'll still keep my eyes out for this.
---
C&Cs:
"There was no hope for me get out of this." > 'Get' should be 'getting'.
"Another thought occuered." > I think you meant 'occurred'.
---
1907716
Whoa, heh, easy there. While I can understand that Celestia and Shining may have made a huge mistake, I don't think it needs to go that far. And, sure, they going to need to do a whole lot to earn back Twilight's love and trust, but it wasn't entirely their fault. They was just too paranoid about the 'human' tricks, as well as angry toward her at 'Twilight' disappearance, that they didn't see what was logically there in front of them the whole time. That is sadly what usually happen when paranoia and anger mixed together, among with a storm of other emotions...it'll never ended up well.
But, I'll completely agree with you on the last part.
1907955
They have used Twilight too many times to be forgiven in any space that may be deemed necessary... let they suffer like she has and then let them wonder Equestria in torment for what they have done to an innocent soul, for they are wicked for going against what they have preached (love and tolerance)
1907957
I don't know. But, in all fairness, I have always been more incline to forgive than to hold on to a grudge. I guess we both just going to wait and see what Twilight will do in the story.
1907972
Lets look at the wedding... she knew there was something wrong, but instead of giving her sister the benefit of the doubt... Shining disowns her and so does Celestia and her friends... and after she helps save the kingdom AGAIN, no apology at all... along with multiple times when she has suffered... so let them burn for all they have inflicted
But who is more guilty from Twilight´s perspective: their family and friends, who gave their back on and torture her, or the humans who stole their life in the first place?
Anyway, congratulations Celly; you have broken Twilight in a crueler, more definitive way than Discord could ever hoped for. Good look looking for another Magic/Friendship Bearer.
1907158I don't plan on it.
1910015 I thought you snapped your neck
Yes. One word, three letters, the only way to describe this chapter. Yes.
Wait, I got another one. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
1907972
If you were raped, tortured, branded, whipped, and skinned for a crime you didn't commit and then the party apologizes and expects you to forgive and make like nothing has happened... In any reality that is not possible at all... life leaves scars, Twilight is traumatized now and when this is all over... Celestia is going to realize she incompetent as a ruler, sister, aunt-in-law, teacher for anypony
As for her friends and brother... they will never see the Twilight Sparkle they knew again, since they have destroyed her trust and faith in them...
1914367
...Rape...? Okay, I think you may be taking this a little to the extreme. To be honest, you have been going to the extreme with the whole deal, and I kinda was originally planning on giving up talking further about it after realising this, feeling like I was talking rather to a wall. It has lost a lot of fun and interest in seeing another point-of-view in a debate, when you noticed that the other person is willing to try to do everything in one power to 'eat' your point-of-view and 'paint' everything in absolutely pure black, with no luck on even finding a middle ground. I'm sorry, but I am just going to stop talking about this topic and just wait for more chapters to read onward.
I smell drama.
1914750 Eeyup. Guess what. You caught me in the middle of posting a chapter...
I thought you were supposed to be a LAZY commenter.
You lied too me
*runs off crying like a filly*
(Ignore my mindless babble. I'm all kinds of bored right now.)
Okay, glad to see that somepony FINALLY knows where Twilight is in this story. As I've had nitpicks with this story, even if it's all for a reason probably, that is kind of unknown. Also have wanted to complain about some of the chapters seeming out-of-order, at least with hints and such of what happens, but then you add in current events and such, so not much issue there. Sorry, just... been reading this and haven't commented for a while. And is Cadence really going to say all of that stuff she saw in the vision to Twilight, assuming you even do it? Anyway, now to see where it all goes.
1907976
This is PROBABLY a mistake, but... take a breath and calm down. I know how intense you feel about the wedding from reading your comments on defender2222's story with alternate route the wedding could've taken, but keep in mind these are STORIES and not really CANON, like the wedding was. Yes, it's all awful and such what's been happening in this story and that series, but sometimes you gotta break the lightheartedness to come up with works such as these.
While again, the wedding was canon, let's analyze it shall we? First off, Twilight's brother was under the effect of Changeling mind control, which probably made him less than clearly thinking normally, as his eyes glowed right after the first hint we saw that there was something more going on during the wedding preparations. Secondly, yes Twilight did call her out at the wedding rehearsal, but she did so in such a manner that it was hard to take her seriously and the phony Cadence put on a supposedly convincing act. Then again, did it cause her friends did seem to side with Cadence more than her, which is why she didn't say nothing when she found them before that moment and probably thought she couldn't do so to her brother with Cadence having done what she saw, like she was about to before being interrupted. They BOTH made mistakes at that time. While Celestia or her friends may not have apologized in a more lengthy on-screen moment, there're only 22 minutes for each episode and don't think there was anything they could've cut out, at least imo. Not to mention, Applejack DID apologize to Twilight on behalf of all of them (I think) after they got captured and escorted back to the palace to Chrysalis. I think it's belief that they did apologize more later, even if again, the show is kept lighthearted and doesn't address any serious concerns and such. And Shining Armor was a bit better in the Season 3 premiere, even if that probably doesn't make up for the wedding much to you.
I dunno about the whole 'using' thing. Yes, Twilight's friends have made mistakes probably, just as much as she has in canon moments/scenes, but they've done just as much good for/with her as bad, probably. Also, not sure how exactly they'd be using her as they've only known her a short time and not like have already done so (aside from the wedding, that is; I mean, if was for her connections to the Princess, they'd all probably have what they wanted already), but that's not what I wanna hear about. I mean, the point of the show is to learn lessons about FRIENDSHIP, which isn't perfect as they quite often show and even learned isn't easy in The Return of Harmony 2-parter. They're all quite different, yet they manage to get along still, despite all they've been through with each other, since you got to take the good with the bad as one of defender's series seems to point out. Not saying Twilight's friends did there (at least, in the beginning) or will until later in the current story, but it is a valid point and one worth keeping in mind, I'd say.
Anyway, this story is awful in its events, but it makes me wonder why you might be here, if just going to rag on or seem narcissistic about the ponies. I'm here cause I was curious and hoped that it would be an entertaining read, even if it has had a difficult time keeping my interest, with some of the events and how author is making the ponies act. Let's let the author do as he wishes, and not doubt that we won't be disappointed when the time comes or will make Twilight be the same, but have to wait and see. I didn't mean to tear apart your logic, but I just would prefer if would learn that not everyone is going to think like you when it comes to the show about Twilight's 'friends' (as you'd refer to them, probably), even if I agree some things could be different, but we're not on the show and thus, don't have much of a say. And let's not let this get into a heated debate here, even though would rather here so don't do such a thing on any of my future stories, even if none will be like this or defender's series around the wedding events, I imagine.
Sorry Tie, if you actually read all of this, just... passionate about ponies and the wedding, I guess.