Twilight was moving quietly. The Everfree Forest was dangerous at night, but nothing was going to stop her from saving the pony she cared the most. Each tree casted a strange shadow that she kept mistaking for monsters lurking around, and the darkness seemed to stretch on forever. The unicorn was sure she'd seen something move just around the corner.
She kept walking, ignoring the shifty things around her. The note said to go to the heart of the forest, and she wasn’t far from there. Twilight wondered who would want to take Fluttershy. Who would be so mean?
The question was about to be answered, because she'd made it to her destination. However, there was nothing there. She looked everywhere but she only saw trees and bushes.
“Show yourself!” She shouted. From behind a tree, a pony wearing black robes and a hood appeared.
“You came as I predicted.” The mysterious pony said.
Twilight recognized the voice right away. “Why did you do it…Trixie…?” The pony removed the hood, showing her face to the purple unicorn in front of her. She had a crazy smile on her face.
“Because I knew that you would come for her. We have unfinished business to settle.” Trixie moved a few steps forward, looking directly into Twilight’s eyes.
“Where's Fluttershy?” Trixie used her magic to move a bush, revealing the pegasus on the floor, still unconscious.
“She’s just sleeping.”
“I won’t forgive you for this, Trixie. I thought that you were sorry...! I never thought you would do something like this, and you’re not wearing the Alicorn Amulet so I know that you aren’t corrupted by evil magic!”
“You actually thought that I was sorry? You really are naïve, Twilight Sparkle!”
“Tell me something, Trixie. Why Fluttershy? You could have taken any of my friends but you decided to take her.”
“I've been spying on you for the past few days, you see. I noticed that you spent a lot of time alone with this particular pony. I decided to attack where it would hurt you the most, and what's a better option than your marefriend?” The cyan unicorn laughed like a maniac. Twilight couldn’t believe her; she knew that Trixie wasn’t a good pony, but this was too much.
“This is between you and me! Let her go!”
“That isn’t the plan, Twilight Sparkle. My intentions are to leave you two here to die. Why did you think I made you come to the heart of the forest?”
“What?!” Trixie used magic to ignite the trees surrounding them while Twilight looked at the destruction she was causing. “You’re insane!”
“You’re a fool!” When she turned back to see Trixie, she saw a rock about to hit her. She tried to stop it with her magic, but it was too late. The boulder knocked her unconscious. “Now, the mighty Trixie wishes she could stay, but sadly, she must leave. Goodbye, Twilight Sparkle!” And with that said, she teleported, leaving the two unconscious mares to burn alive.
Meanwhile, at the entrance of the forest…
“She went alone? Why didn’t she called for help before?” Rainbow Dash questioned incredulously. She was confused and didn't understand why Twilight would even think of going by herself.
“I don’t know why, but she told us to look for help earlier… She should have waited for everypony before coming here, though. Who knows what’s in there?” Spike angrily said.
“She sure is crazy, but she trusts us. We are the Elements of Harmony, after all!” Rarity expressed her concern to her friends.
“Well, ah'm not leavin’ until we get em’ out of there. Follow me, everypony!” Lead by Applejack, they started moving. Spike was holding Angel, who was worried for his owner.
“Yay, this will be fun!”
“Shh, quiet Pinkie… I’m smelling somethin’, Rainbow, can you tell us if there’s fire?”
“Leave it to me!” Rainbow Dash flew high up and returned immediately.
“Yes, there’s fire right in the middle! We have to move fast!”
“And look at the weather; it’s going to rain!” Spike pointed to the sky.
“Well, at least the rain will quench the fire, but we can’t wait until it happens. We must find Twilight and Fluttershy!” Rarity said in a really worried tone, and couldn't help to think that it might be already too late.
“You ain’t have to worry. We’ll bring them back to Ponyville, but we have to move now!” Applejack said as she and her friends galloped faster. The smoke soon started to block their vision and they could hear the fire.
Finally, they arrived at the site, but there was no sign of their friends.
“Fluttershy! Twilight!” Nopony heard a response, so they kept walking carefully, evading falling branches and trees. They kept shouting their names, but the fire was getting worse. They wouldn't be able to stay much longer.
“Where are they? Fluttershy! Twilight!”
“Rainbow?” They heard a soft voice, which was undoubtedly Fluttershy’s voice. “We're over here!” They followed the voice and found Fluttershy with one of her wings over Twilight, trying to protect her. “She’s barely breathing... We have to get her out of here!” The timid pegasus was worried and scared.
“Put her on my back, Sugarcube, quick!” Fluttershy got Twilight on Applejack’s back with the help of her friends. “Now, let’s get out of here!” They trotted as fast as they could. They could barely see because of the smoke, but they managed to avoid all the trees. It started to rain when they were safely away from the fire, but there was no time to rest. Twilight needed medical attention.
“I hope it’s not too late…”
“Don’t worry, Fluttershy. She’s very strong, she will be fine! I Pinkie Promise!” Pinkie Pie said, still skipping around.
“Thanks, Pinkie…”
“Look, we made it!” Rainbow went ahead, but they were already out of the forest.
“Ah'm glad we made it... Now we have to take her to the hospital.” Applejack said while looking at her unconscious friend.
“What are we waiting for? Let’s go!” Rarity said, and everypony started to move again.
1837320
Of course it won't get away from him...
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No Trixie, why?! Hope Twilight's alright...but now we get to see how Fluttershy reacts...Wunderbar
Trixie you little... Well I'am just glad they are safe now for the moment. A little bit action is never bad imo. Nice chapter again.
please tell that you wouldn't kill Twilight, that will be to cliche .
I always wondered who came up with the term "femslash".
It makes me think knives are involved!
1847833 I never realized that
This is a good story and I can't wait to find out what happens next. There are some errors that have been pointed out but the concept overall is quite enjoyable. The switching of tense in the first few chapters was jarring and pulled me out of the story, and there are some grammar errors as well. Nothing an editor couldn't fix up for you though. An example would be:
It should read to apologize.
Also,
Should read hiding in.
There are quite a few of those but as I said, can easily be fixed. It just brings me out of the story as I come across it.
Please keep up the good work though, I really hope and get their happy ending!
1848673 Yeah, as soon as I finish with the story I was going to ask my editor to check my first chapters
Ugh. It always makes me sad to see a character (Trixie especially) Just thrown in to a story just to be a villian. This in my opinion was one of the worst moments. I mean you could have avoided any mention to "Magic Dual" and at least made it seem like an idea wrote before the episode but no. You just throw out anything meaningful about her and make her a one moment crazy villian.
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Trixie: "What the hell..?"
Ha i knew it. It was trixie all alomg
Just a bit fast paced. Good chapter!
it came like a hurricane and blew my mind seriously; I was right on the first guess but to find out it was her!?! man talk about not judging a book by it's cover moment still though; Trixie seemed like she busted a nut or something in that head of hers; wonder what caused that to happen
I'm not a Trixie fan, but this was just completely jarring. A jerk ass Trixie kidnapping (foalnapping?) Fluttershy i would be okay with, but full on murder is too much.
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Well, that escalated quickly. What the buck..? I mean, seriously, what?? I'm still trying to process the fact that Trixie is now completely, maniacally evil, and they made it in and out of the forest way quickly with way little opposition. I'm just so confused...
We'll see if this is remedied in the next installment.
(Sorry for commenting on such an old chapter, but I have something to say)
Why Trixie? Why can't it be someone else? You could have let Fluttershy leave a note telling her friends she was moving and have her fly over the Everfree and sprain her wing or something? I'm not exactly angry, but Trixie is my favorite character. But if she's gonna be the villain of the whole story I'm afraid I just wouldn't like it. Not that it really matters whether I like it or not, your stories are so magnificent that getting one downvote won't even make a difference, but I'm not giving you a downvote . Well, I'm gonna keep on reading, because so far the story is great.
It is just me or Trixie didn't speak as she used to?