I have the chance to become something great. Will I fail in the process? Or totally and completely succeed?
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 28th Nov, 2012
- offline last seen Jul 14th, 2014
Tsubasafangirl
Bonjour, evrerypony!!!!!! Even though my user name is not pony related, I do totally and completely adore MLP!!!!!! Plus, Tsubasa rules!!!!!
Tsubasafangirl
Joined 28th Nov, 2012 ·
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My first fanfic!!!! So excited!!!
Tell me ur opions and stuff!!!! To make it better! 
(Joke) Alt. Title: Opportinuity Knocks, But Then Quickly Notices The OC And Runs Away
Nice so far. I likey!
For the title... It's Travelling
Whenever I hear 'opportunity' I always think of the Flim Flam brothers
Okay! I will fix stuff!!!!
Idea!!!!!
For the next chapter!!!!!!! 
Fix the chapter title
it's 'TRAVELLING'
Okay okay!!! Sheesh...
Oops, I forgot to finish reading. 2 paragraphs from the end and all, sorry
It's a nice story so far, I like it, all I can really say is 2 things: Watch the spelling and term use. Like with the chapter title, as pinkimania mentioned, and the author note 'criticise/criticize', and it looks more proffesional if you use words instead of number(360 to three-sixty), and 2 (this is more nit picky then criticising): 'As I was flying towards Ponyville' sounds - to me - like she's close. I'd go more with something like 'On the journey to Ponyville'.
But I like some of the word usage, particularly 'collect my fallen artifacts', and other than that those small criticisms, I like it, like I said
looking forward to the next chapter
Thank you!!!! I will fix it up!