At the Gala

by frustrated456

The Price of Pleasure

"Ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh!" Rainbow Dash had just found out one of her best friends, Twilight Sparkle, had once again been given six tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala by the honored Princess Celestia.

"This time, I won't mess up! I'm going to show the Wonderbolts I deserve to be one of them," Rainbow squealed with delight. At the last gala, she had been subject to a chain reaction disaster. It ended with her surrounded by pieces of a statue Princess Celestia.

"Calm down, you," Twilight giggled at her cyan friend's reaction,

"Besides, I'll always receive these invites and always give you one," Twilight assured her.

"Well, thank you, Twilight. It means a lot to me!" Rainbow squeaked again and flew towards Rarity's Carousel Boutique.

"Rarity! We're going to need more Gala dresses!" Rainbow was absolutely, positively ready to go to that party. She had barged in the door. Rarity was standing at a table with a suit for Hoity Toity laid out.
Rarity chuckled faintly.

"Oh, Rainbow Dash, you couldn't POSSIBLY think I wouldn't already have..." She walked across the room to a rack with many dresses and suits all hung neatly. From the massive amount, she pulled out six magnificent dresses. Dash was able to spot the one that would be hers. Before she could examine it, Rarity put the dresses on standard mannequins using her magic and smiled.

"...Whipped up gowns for us all."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Wow, we're at the Grand galloping Gala once again," AppleJack breathed. She cleared her thoughts and remembered her goals,

"Well, y' all, meet up later?" The others nodded and split up. AppleJack personally, was going to give another shot at selling her "apple- tastic" treats. However, this time she had better luck for success with her vender's license.

Rainbow Dash looked down at her evening gown happily. It was cape- like with a sparkling rainbow pattern and black faux- leather trim. She wore a necklace similar to that of The Element of Loyalty she'd worn to defeat Discord and Night Mare Moon and a black head band that matched the trim of the dress.

'Now, I look great and I'm prepared to perform for them' She thought while searching the crowd for the familiar blue and yellow uniforms. She quickly located Soarin' and Spitfire and made her way to them; pushing through swarms of fancy ponies eagerly. She took notice of how they wore the suit's headpiece down like a hood.

"Spitfire! Soarin'!" Rainbow finally stood before the famous pegasi.

"I mean...uh... H-Hey, how's it going?" She did her best to stay calm while greeting the two.

"Oh, hey. Soar'," Spitfire took notice of Dash and bumped Soarin's side with her knee,
"It's Rainbow, the mare who saved us and your pie..." At the mention of pie, Soarin' turned to Dash,

"Oh, hi! I remember you from last year."

"That's what I just said," Spitfire groaned while rolling her eyes.

"So, I just thought we could maybe hang and uh- get to know each other," Rainbow suggested.

"Yeah, why not?" Spitfire smiled at Rainbow,
"Let's take this conversation some where less crowded, 'kay?" Soarin' and RD agreed and followed Spitfire to a small bar in a different area of the castle grounds.

"Wow, nice looking place," Rainbow commented; looking at the polished bar stools and tables. A lone bartender stood behind the counter, cleaning a small margarita glass. He was dark brown with a green mane and wore an apron. He smiled at his guests,

"What can I get you pegasi tonight?" The three sat at the bar and ordered two margaritas for the girls and a whiskey for Soarin'.

Over an increasing amount of drinks, the three talked about each other's lives. Meanwhile, AppleJack had finished what she had planned somewhat successfully.
'Hmm... I think I'll go find Rainbow Dash... She thought of the rainbow maned mare and blushed. She'd had a crush on Dash for a long time. It had built up over time, AJ growing more and more hesitant to tell Dash and more at risk to losing her.

AppleJack failed to find RD in the ballroom so, she asked Twilight what she'd seen.

"Well, just about an hour or two ago, I saw Rainbow Dash walk toward the bar with a couple of the Wonderbolts."

"Thank you Twi." Was all the conversation consisted of. AppleJack walked out into the night air, chilly. She sped to a trot to save time and warm up. After all, she only wanted Dash's company.

"Hey, guys, I have got to go to the little filly's room. Be right back," Spitfire rose from her chair. She left the other two alone with the tender who paid their actions no attention. Intoxicated, Dash leaned into Soarin; whispering in his ear,

"Hey there..." He blushed, also intoxicated; slurring,

"Th- This wouldn't be right. I'm in love with Spits and she's my -hiccup- marefriend." Dash ran her hoof around the rim of one her empty glasses producing a high pitched whistling sound. He put his hoof on hers, annoyed,
"Hey! That hurts my ears!" She responded by nibbling his neck wordlessly. He continued to sit in silence. Rainbow glanced at the tender impatiently.

The bartender took the hint and left the two in the open air of the pub. Soarin' then realized she was the kind of pony who got easily aroused when tipsy.

"You know... You look really nice with that tight uniform on," Rainbow said quietly into the exposed fur.

"Um thank you?" The blush on his face never faded. Nervously, he ran a hoof through his hair.

"You would look even better without it," She tugged at the edges of the flight suit. She began to run her hooves down his sides lovingly. He sat speechless and submissive.

Eventually, she had worked the uniform off, and was thoroughly enjoying herself. She had kept him quiet with many practices that will not be spoken of here, because reasons...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"There. I'm all freshened up," Spitfire winked at the pony in the mirror who was, of course, herself. She remembered that she must have been gone a while by now, and turned to leave. Upon exiting, she bumped into an unfamiliar mare. They collided on the floor just outside the restroom. The other mare, an orange earth pony with freckles, stood and said with a rural accent,

"Gosh darnit, AppleJack, ya clutz! I am so sorry Miss Spitfire."

"You know my name?" Spitfire asked as... AppleJack -was her name?- helped her up.

"Yes, Ah'm a good friend," she seemed to have a quick burst of anxiety at the words 'good friend' as if she was hiding something,

"Of Rainbow Dash's. She talks about the Wonderbolts a lot so, you being the captain..."

"Oh, alright. It's nice to meet another of the Elements of Harmony. Without you guys, we'd be flying in eternal darkness and through cotton candy clouds," Spitfire replied politely with an honest smile. The mares continued to chat for a short time. During this time, two wasted pegasi are in the pub, having some... fun.

By the time the two mares made their way to the door of the bar, they forged a new friendship, finding common interests (mainly involving sports). Spitfire shouldered the door open to find a sight she could never describe with words.

"What?" AppleJack was unable to find anything else to say. She could only turn away with hot tears already falling from her sorrowful green orbs. Spitfire became enraged at the sight she was witnessing. Soarin' had become lost in lust and pleasure; no longer resisting Rainbow. She straddled him while he remained seated upon the bar stool; his Wonderbolts suit was thrown aside. The pair had been fully engaged in drunken sex.

"What the Hell?" Spitfire yelled.

'Oh no' Soarin' thought when he heard the familiar voice of his marefriend. He removed his lips from Dash's to look at Spitfire.

"Spits, I-" He began.

"Why'd you-" Rainbow turned to what he was gawking at to see both the angry yellow pegasus and AppleJack. Her eyes widened and her ears flattened to her head; she had been suddenly yanked from her intoxicated stupor.

"I leave for five minutes and you decide to ride my stallion?" Spitfire continued to yell. AppleJack ran from the building at top speed; she didn't bother to look back. Soarin' stood causing RD to fall on her back with a thunk and retracted his stallionhood (This situation is certainly a turn- off).

"Spitfire, I don't even know how this happened I'm so sorry!"

"I don't wanna hear it!" Spitfire screeched at him and walked to stand over the blue mare. She back- hoofed her face; leaving at large bruise and said; gritting her teeth,

"You will never be Wonderbolts material!"

The bartender chose the wrong time to reenter and tried to back away silently. Spitfire saw him, pulled the appropriate amount of bits for her drinks out from her uniform, and chucked them at him. He collected the money and stuffed it into his pocket. before leaving yet again. She stalked out without another word. Soarin' watched her leave; his mouth hung agape and his eyes glimmered. He wouldn't let himself cry. He mentally slapped himself repeatedly and cursed his stupidity.

"I... Goodbye," he said to Dash and turned to follow Spitfire,

"Keep the suit. Or throw it away. Doesn't matter to me anymore," He paused,

"Nothing does."

Rainbow sat alone in the pub,

"What have I done?"

The End

Or is it?

Author's Note:

I think I did okay. This was recovery from my previous attempts. I think it was short and sweet and might have moved a little fast.

Before you hate me, SLIGHT OOC. (Well, duh. There's no alcohol in Equestria) There. Now don't comment all Wat-da-fuk-dis-is-so-wrong-y-do-u-even-trai?!?!- like because that's not the focus of the story. Also, I don't know how intoxication works because I'm not old enough to drink. ^-^ Thanks for reading! I think I might do a sequel....

Comments

[Field_Marshal_Luna]

affordablehousinginstitute.org/blogs/us/wp-content/uploads/brilliant_681.jpg AND.......1.bp.blogspot.com/-_TkbcIBMy1Y/T2Ioh3r-T_I/AAAAAAAABGA/BAJcgUhFm7c/s1600/firstpost.jpg

[frustrated456]

1807491
Thanks

[KhaosSparkz]

I just read your story dude, ok personally I am not a big Clop fics at all,and I tend to avoid them but I am willing to read and what not's, don't worry i am not going to bombard you with rubbish, because it isn't a bad little story, and it does have a lot of potential, but it needs to be longer, alot longer, it is kinda cut short, so maybe go back and right a couple of extra chapters maybe. to give it more build rather than just be wham bam thank ya ma'am kinda story :P although I am gonna give this a 6/10 because it was good just the length that stopped it getting a higher mark :) /) * (\

[Lord Brutus]

I like it

[Yonasomun]

In all honesty: This is really bad One-Shot. The pacing was terrible and the ending came to abrupt .

A good one-shot has an ending that makes you feel happy or sad. My only reaction to this ending was: “I wonder what happens next… it’s over? Woah that was cheap.”

A good one-shot evokes emotions and makes you care about characters. This one-shot was just a clinical sequence of events, making it nothing more than a boring read.

In a good story every part has a purpose and a conclusion. The Appledash Ship in your story neither had a purpose nor a conclusion. I expected AJ to react with shock after seeing RD and Soarin’, calling her out and ending their friendship. That would have given this ship a purpose and had made sense in the context. Instead all that happens is that AJ mentions once that she likes RD and then it’s never brought up again. She just magically disappeared after her last scene. So neither the character nor the ship adds anything to the story.

Your story definitely needs more “substance”. Add more details, more dialogue and more sentences. This isn’t an instruction manual it’s a story and stories need emotions. If you’re rushing from one scene to another nobody really cares about anything that happens.

[frustrated456]

1809843
Ehh. Just an attempt. I really feel like when I write, I end up rushing. A lot. Thank you for your feeedback.

1807491
Abrupt end because I ran out of ideas.

1807979
Again, I really suck at pacing and just always feel jittery for no apparent reason. I hope to improve in the future.

-----------------------------
Thank you all for the responses so far. It really does make a difference for a person to know where they're going wrong.

[General Ascudas]

lad if your not old enough to drink then i wouldnt recomend writting about drunken sex stick to things you know

[Easy breezey]

what did i just read? dude I'M TWELVE and i know how drunk sex can go and nope never drank any alchol and prob never will. this is bad realy bad. sorry if i had offended you.This....is just so fucked up in many ways

[Tropical Beats]

why was there so much hate on this...? it was a good story. just a lil rushed dats all...