It was the knocking that woke Twilight.
It was midnight. Why someone was knocking on her door at midnight was beyond her, and she’d just gotten to sleep. She glanced out the window, seeing Pinkie in front of the door, standing in the rain, mane flattened. Whatever she wanted, it looked serious. She stumbled downstairs, still half-asleep, and grabbed the door with her magic, yanking it open. Pinkie just stood there, staring. Twilight started to talk in an attempt to get Pinkie to respond.
“Pinkie, are you-“
“I’m dying.”
That simple sentence, those two words, completely silenced Twilight. She didn’t know what to say. She’d never been in any situation like this. What made it worse was the way Pinkie had said it. There was no panic, no worry, no anything. Her voice remained completely neutral. Pinkie noticed Twilight wasn’t going to respond anytime soon and decided to elaborate.
“It was a toxin. A natural one, produced by about three, no, four plants in the Everfree. I didn’t know Golden Rose was one of those. Last time I trust a guide book written in Canterlot.” She smiled as she said this, despite the grim message. She continued, “Should take about, I don’t know, half an hour to take effect, attack the heart, and…” she trailed off.
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Because there’s something you need to see. And it can’t wait. Could you do me a favour and get Applejack, and meet me back at Sugarcube Corner in five minutes.” With that, she sprinted away, not even waiting for a response.
It was the knocking that woke Applejack.
“What in tarnation?” she grumbled as she stumbled down the hall to the front door, noting that nopony else seemed to have been awoken by whoever was mad enough to knock on the front door at two minutes past midnight. She opened the door and was greeted by a flash of purple light, and a sickening falling sensation. When her vision returned, she found herself in Sugarcube Corner, the lights turned off, and Twilight getting up off the floor.
“Twi’, do you mind explaining what the hay you’re doing waking me up in the middle of the night and teleportin’ me to Sugarcube Corner. I’m pretty sure-“
“Pinkie’s dying.”
The same words had an almost identical effect on Applejack. She just stared at Twilight, as if she’d grown an extra head.
“Pinkie? We’re here. Where are you?” Twilight called out.
“In the basement. Come dow-AAAAGH!” Pinkie screamed. Twilight and Applejack both darted into the basement, where Pinkie was in the middle of a pile of boxes, pulling herself up. She saw her friends and gave them a weak smile. “Turns out, only had a couple of minutes. Whadda you know?”
“Pinkie, why are you down here?” Twilight asked.
“Help me find a particular crate, about my size. It’s got ‘Pinkie’s Property’ written on it.”
The three of them got to work, and it wasn’t long before Applejack called out, “Found it! Over here.” Pinkie and Twilight rushed over, and Pinkie nodded. She extended a pink hoof, and pulled back the front before stumbling in. The two remaining ponies glanced at each other in puzzlement before following the pink earth pony into the way too small box. And then both quickly ran out again.
“Pinkie, how is this even possible?”
Applejack and Twilight had been walking in and out of the box for the past half a minute, trying to comprehend what they were seeing. On the outside, it looked barely big enough to hold a single pony. But on the inside, it was bigger than the main room in the library. The walls and roof were made of a pink stone, and the floor was an ever-changing disco floor. In the centre laid a large column, surrounded by six panels with hundreds of knobs, levers and buttons. In Twilights mind, there was no way this could have been possible, even with all the magic of Princess Celestia.
“Ah, just a bit of quasi-dimensional engineering. How’s your Advanced Multi-Dimensional Studies?”
“Pinkie, as much as Twi’ here might want to know about this here box, I think we should be discussing what you said,” Applejack interrupted, before Twilight could respond. Pinkie lowered her head.
“Right. I’m dying. That’s all there is to i-AUGH!” She collapsed in pain. Applejack and Twilight both darted forwards, but Pinkie waved a hoof at them. “Stay back! The toxin’s attacking my hearts, and trying to kill me. Doing a good job of it, too. I’ll try to hold it off as much as I can, but-AAAH! I can’t hold it off forever. I need you to do something.”
“What? Call a doctor?”
“Doctor… No. Look, I’ll try to explain as best as I can, but I haven’t got much time. Here’s the basic thing. I’m not a pony.”
“What do you mean, you’re not a pony? I can see you’re one,” Applejack said, “Look Pinkie, if this is a prank, it’s gone on long enough.”
“It’s not a prank. I wish it was. But I’m serious, I’m not a pony. I’m… I can’t hold it off any longer. Just… get back. And I’m sorry I have to go. Hope the new me’s as good as the current me.” Her head and her hooves started glowing, a gold gas-like substance coming off of them. “Goodbye Twilight, Applejack. Thanks… for everything.”
Her hooves shot out from under her, spilling golden light everywhere. A stream of the light flowed from each of the hooves and her face, obscuring her from sight. Applejack and Twilight looked at the glowing pony with terror written on their faces, unsure of what was going on. After a long minute or two, the lights faded to reveal a distinctly not-Pinkie pony.
The new pony was slightly taller than Pinkie was, but thinner too. She had a red coat with an orange mane and tail that came down into a ponytail, similar to Applejack. Her cutie mark was identical to Pinkies, but with the colours switched around. A red horn rested on top of her head, marking her as a unicorn. Her grey eyes opened as she got up. She opened her mouth and…
“Okay, there we… Ooh, new voice. That’s… new. Right, so,” she glanced at her back, “not a pegasus, damn it! Oh oh oh! A unicorn! That’s very new. Never been a unicorn before. Now, let’s see… there’s something I need right now… something very important… Oh that’s right!” The strange unicorn looked at the silent Twilight and Applejack.
“Can you get me a cup of coffee?”
And with that, she collapsed.
"I'm dying"
[looks at tags] Comedy? and no tradgedy/sad tag? WTF?
What is is a crossover with, by the way?
1787163
It's never sad when a Time Lord regenerates, it only means that there are new adventures on the way.
1787163
with Dr.Who apparently(i don`t know if it really is since i have never watched Dr.Who in my life but from what i`ve heard when the doctor dies he reappears again with a new body which is exactly what happened with Pinkie here)
Interesting.
1787173>>1787181
A Doctor Who crossover? With Pinkie as a Time Lord?
Thats intersting enough to earn a place on my read later list.
Oh, and Germgod? As a Brit, it is my duty, nay, my responsability, to order you to watch some Doctor Who.
Vaguely interesting as ideas go, but not particularly well executed.
Professor Whooves - 8ish hours to approve. 2 to 3 days later - 2 comments that aren't mine
The New Pinkie - Less than 2 hours to approve and get 5, no wait, 6 comments
Holy.
Hell.
1787163
It's not really that sad, and also, Pinkie.
1787173
Agreed.
1787181
1787193
As another Brit, I support the command that you go watch Doctor Who
1787187
That sounds... ominous.
1787213
Yeah, well, I don't have a proofreader, I hate editing, and I wrote this in about 3-4 hours. Also, if you are in need of more vaguely interesting or completely off the rocker, or actually-not-that-bad-just-needs-a-decent-author ideas, don't hesitate to ask.
So just got round to reading it, and yeah, interested to see where this goes, but it felt a little short to me. I think you jumped to Applejack a little to quickly, and I am not quite sure why you chose Applejack. Why not any of the others, surely they should all be there?
So yeah, interesting, but I felt rushed through it, there wasn't any time to build up suspense—You gave me no reason to care that Pinkie was dying, other than the fact that she is Pinkie. Guide me through what your characters are feeling. You describe Twilights feelings as:
and Applejacks as:
Theres no emotion to it, its just...words on a page. Show me how shocked and confused they are, let me see their thoughts, their reactions. Not just "they were stunned."
A concept such as this should make me have feels (I know your aiming for comedy overall, which is no bad thing, but I believe that comedy can be enhanced with a small dollop of bittersweatness(but that just might be me)), but all I got from it was: Twilghts sleepy, now Pinkes dying, oh hey AJ, TARDIS, regen, unicorn. Don't be afraid to drag it out. Heck, worst case scenario have Pinkie reminisce about old times, with Applejack and Twillight confused as to why Pinkie is bringing up these memories.
So yeah, intersting, and I will happily follow it, but it felt rushed and...shallow, I think is an appropriate term.
1787219
Actually, I don't even mean editing. It's more that there just aren't enough words here to really properly explore the idea, or even make it effective. A bit more emotional impact at first might help, to really build up the tension before releasing it. Granted, by the time it got to Pinkie talking about her "hearts", I figured it out, and that deflated any possibility for emotional engagement. At that point, I just watched the joke, if you will, play itself out as more or less expected.
But this really doesn't exist as anything beyond "Pinkie is a Time Lord", and as such doesn't really hold any impact of its own.
1787372
Yeah, I didn't really take this seriously. It was just a bit of fun, and an idea that had been bugging me for a while that I wanted to get down. Apologies.
Pinkie is the new 10th Doctor.
1787400
Nope! Pinkie isn't the Doctor. I've actually got something kinda planned with the Doctor being mentioned, but probably no Doctor appearance.
1787309
Yeah, I know I'm not exactly the best writer. I've always been better at coming up with ideas than putting them onto paper and... Wow, that came out a lot more depressing than I intended.
Also, on a side note, feel free to nick any ideas of mine you like. I'm not overly protective of them, and would like to see them in the hands of a better author. If any decent authors show interest in my work... I get really depressing without realising it.
1787466
To be honest, I am not exactly an amazing author myself. I have grown to be good at anaylsing other people's stories, but when it comes to my own stuff I struggle to see past the vision in my head. And don't even get me started on my dialogue (dull and bland ). My true talent lies in world building, not character interactions.
Still, I must admit that this has given me an intersting idea for a story. Whether or not I find time to act on it, is another matter (what with trying to write 4 stories at once).
This is an interesting idea. Very good idea that would seem to be good expanded on.
I got into this story expecting something sad or tragic (not noticing the lack of sad tags).
Then I got to the part with the bigger-on-the-inside box.
I put two and two together and my brain froze for a minute or so.
This. Is. Fucking. Genius.
>Pinkie time lord
>she's regenerating
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mes589xKQm1r3zat8.gif
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5fa5lbyqD1r3zat8.gif
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ls7cb7BN6j1qafrh6.gif
Wait...
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lnzqdippyr1qd5ayz.gif
soo i take it pinkie is a timelord but not the doctor though she knows who the doctor is
So Pinkie Pie's a timelord, who'd have guessed?
1787173 The 10th's doctor regeneration from what I've heard was very sad, he even said "I don't wanna go!"
1788787
Okay, you got me there. It wasn't entirely sad though, it gave way for another equally great Doctor.
1788072
... Okay... Please tell me that's not normal for you... I have a long stick.
1787724
1787922
Wait... People like it? That's fanTAStic!
1788408
You are indeed correct with your hypothesis.
1788787
1788807
It was sad, untill Matt Smith. Matt Smith is the Pinkie Pie of the Doctors. Example quote (from my shoddy memory) to prove this:
Yes This is deffinatly a good looking story and I would love to know how it goes.
1789431
not normal.
1788807 Well I wouldn't know because I haven't seen any of "Doctor Who" really aside from bits and parts on the internet. It's among my list of shows to eventually watch.
1790170
Don't do it unless you can handle the feels.
1790176 Well I watched "Transformers The Movie" (G1 not Michael Bay) and although I was a little saddened by Optimus Prime's death as well as the death of many other characters I managed to watch it through to the end. But I guess I'll have to wait and see. Doctor Who will have to wait until I finish watching the rest of "Transformers G1" though, by the way Optimus Prime's death in "Dark Awakening" was more of a tear jerker in my book since we get our hopes up thinking he's going to come back and then he pulls a heroic scarifice at the end. What really got me is Rodimus Prime's line immeditaly after said scarifice "This nova will be his memorial. I don't know if I'll ever be as good a leader as you were but I'm sure gonna try." (The nova was was the remaints of a trap set up by the Quintesions. You refers to Optimus.)
Holy shit!
Was not expecting that!
1790015
Thank the Gods. I can finally put this overly large stick away.
1790170
1790176
Yeah, DW can get a bit emotional.
1791412
NOBODY EXPECTS THE LUNA INQUISITION!
1787309
Ooh, just read your comment
thouroulgybetter, and realised the Applejack question. Well... I have a plan to help explain to the two... and it involves Applejack... and Pinkie would prefer to keep as many people in the dark as possible, Twilight being a special case as... you'll find out....Continue?
1803014
Yeah, sorry. I take approx. x days to get round to writing it, and 3-4 hours to write it, so... next chapter'll come out eventually... don't kill me.
1803016Kill you? When you're in the process of writing a story? Never! I'm trying to write one myself, and I know it can't be rushed. Take your time, I can wait.
1803070
Umm... no reason why I thought that. It's not like I've had to kill off people who have tried to kill me for similarish reasons and dump the bodies in the local swimming pool or anything. Heh heh heh.
1803075........Dude.Don't even joke about doing that kind of thing. It's not okay. I may be able to take it in stride, but there are some real jerks who would report you for even suggesting that. Lost a great writer on Fanfiction because someone couldn't take a joke, I'd rather not see that happen here.
1803119
Right... There goes half my jokes.
1803127 I only mean in comments. In story you can get away with that kind of jokes, no problem. It's the comments you got to watch what you type. People can be so sensitive, it's almost ridiculous.
Time lord Pinkie is best Time lord. Nuff' said.
Kay,this does bot realate to this story at all,but I'm watching garfiend and his (not)pal nermal came over and said he needed his/her(it's unknow whether nermal's a girl or a boy) cutie sleep.If you don't understand,watch garfield.
Huh...
Written wonderfully, but a tad strange direction. Ah'm curious.
1851971
Strange and utterly bizzare directions are my speciality, my good sir/ma'am/whatever-that-thing-is-in-the-closet.
When do we get a new chapter??? i read the first chapter so long ago i can even remember anymore.
2078053
Well, I have school, and sort of have writers block at the moment, so... soonish?
Unexpected.
Will be watching.
Well it seems Pinkie is a time lord....
My argument is now invalid
Yay! Whovian bronies!