I agree with tarox. This dose have good potential (and need of an editor) and mabey you should ask your friend for the "rights" to the story to update it more frequently. Just a thought though. All in all, good story.
1935054 If I so chose so, I could update it. However I currently have four other... wait no, 5 other stories I am working on. 4 of which have been posted 1 or them still in the works. And it has been a while since I have updated any of them so I'm working on that first before anything.
1935611 I don't know why that is, that there are not more Octavia/Lyra fics out there. I mean it makes more sense to me than Vinyl and Tavi. Not to say that there's anything wrong with that pair, its just idk a bit strange to me.
Don't get me wrong, I love Lyra but I always see her with BonBon, it just works. As for Octavia she needs Vinyl because of her being "upper crust" where as Vinyl is sorta perceived as lower class even though she came from money.
1939078 It's funny how many people want an update of this story So... I suppose I can have one by tomorrow since I just finished an update on my main story this evening.
Not a bad story, but you have some real issues with homonyms.
"I know your lying to me." Your suspended until further notice." Shut up or your out, simple as that.
"your" - Possessive pronoun - "I didn't go into your room." "you're" - Contraction of "you are" - "I know you're lying to me."
Tavi just sat their with her head hung low Octavia continued to lay their in silence
"their" - Possessive pronoun - "The two entered their apartment." "there" - Referencing a specific place or point - "Octavia continued to lie there in silence."
"Oh shit!" Octavia muttered in a voice of shear panic
"shear" - to cut, snip, or exert a shearing force - "Applejack used the sheep shears to shear the sheep of their woolly coats." "sheer" - meaning utter or complete - "Octavia muttered in a voice of sheer panic"
I like this idea, I've read other stories where Lyra and Octavia had been in relationships in the past. This is the first one where it's been the focus of the story.
not bad, there's a lot of potential here. I do believe I'll stalk this story and wait for more.
1928311 Oh sweet Luna, I'm being stalked .
Just kidding, I do like the comment and will be sure to pass it on to the author of the story.
I like it, but there are a lot of unnecessary apostrophes.
1930257 yeah... one of my many flaws
I agree with tarox. This dose have good potential (and need of an editor) and mabey you should ask your friend for the "rights" to the story to update it more frequently. Just a thought though. All in all, good story.
1935054 If I so chose so, I could update it. However I currently have four other... wait no, 5 other stories I am working on. 4 of which have been posted 1 or them still in the works. And it has been a while since I have updated any of them so I'm working on that first before anything.
A lot of potential yes, not many Lyra/Tavi stories out there. I'd love to see how it goes! Please update this!!!!
1935611 I don't know why that is, that there are not more Octavia/Lyra fics out there. I mean it makes more sense to me than Vinyl and Tavi. Not to say that there's anything wrong with that pair, its just idk a bit strange to me.
Vinyl/Tavi working because of polar opposites. They are totally different which strangely works well for their pairing.
1936174 Well I get it, I just prefer Lyra over Vinyl imo.
1936251
Don't get me wrong, I love Lyra but I always see her with BonBon, it just works. As for Octavia she needs Vinyl because of her being "upper crust" where as Vinyl is sorta perceived as lower class even though she came from money.
1935293
Full plate, huh? It's all good. An update would be nice soon. If thats ok with you, that is.
1939078 It's funny how many people want an update of this story
So... I suppose I can have one by tomorrow since I just finished an update on my main story this evening.
Commence read.
Well, Octavia sure has some explaining to do.
1941607
Hold up... that was posted yesterday. So then THAT means... *GASP*
Update day!!!
want more want more
LOVE IT. great story overall and i was thinking what happened to bon bon and vinyl
p.s. maybe you can read my story my day in ponyville
Not a bad story, but you have some real issues with homonyms.
"your" - Possessive pronoun - "I didn't go into your room."
"you're" - Contraction of "you are" - "I know you're lying to me."
"their" - Possessive pronoun - "The two entered their apartment."
"there" - Referencing a specific place or point - "Octavia continued to lie there in silence."
"shear" - to cut, snip, or exert a shearing force - "Applejack used the sheep shears to shear the sheep of their woolly coats."
"sheer" - meaning utter or complete - "Octavia muttered in a voice of sheer panic"
I like this idea, I've read other stories where Lyra and Octavia had been in relationships in the past. This is the first one where it's been the focus of the story.