How do ponies shoot guns if they don't have fingers?
(Answer: with great difficulty)
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 13th Dec, 2011
- offline last seen Jan 28th, 2016
You Shall Not Pass
I say, "My Diminutive Equine, Camaraderie is Enchantment" is a smashing show!
You Shall Not Pass
Joined 13th Dec, 2011 ·
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- You Shall Not Pass · 6.3k words · 17 4 · 2k views
- You Shall Not Pass · 9.2k words · 19 3 · 2.2k views
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Very funny.
Oh lawd.
I suppose if Ponies HAD to use firearms, they'd either use magic or custom grips held in the mouth, a la FO:E.
THIS! IS! GENIUS! And ponies!
Funny. I don't like the verb tense though. You keep switching back and forth.
3.5/5
There's a solution to this: Earth pony magic. It allows them to use their hooves as hands.
Ironically, my fic has a character with the title Dead Eye, and yet he can use the weapons just fine.
This DOES put some logic in fics, though, guns aren't exactly meant to be handled with hooves.
Thanks for reading everypony!
129604
I haven't read Fallout Equestria, but that sounds reasonable.
129711
You sure? With the exception of the line "Which jackass’ idea was it to issue him that poorly designed gun anyway?", all the narration is in the present tense.
129769
We've sometimes seen ponies pick up objects with their hooves, but they still wouldn't have any fingers to pull a trigger with. Also, I have a joke to tell.
129861
Hence why I wrote this fic.
This is why I came up with the idea that any firearms should either like Ezios pistol from assassins creed or a bracelet styled grip for rifles. Very funny sir, I applaud this
129868
You should give it a go, the whole thing is complete now. Fair warning: It's longer than the entire Lord of the Rings Trilogy. Seriously, its word count engulfs the universe.
Okay. I laughed my head off at the first bit. Somehow, it kept laughing during the second, while I bumbled around trying to find it. And it kept laughing at the third part after my body fell out the nearest window and fell twenty feet into a patch of poison ivy.
That said, the concept of equine weaponry that accounts for anatomical restrictions has been a pet peeve of mine in my own project. Maybe we could trade ideas, or something...
But I digress. Very well done. This may just have earned a favourite.
129937
Perhaps over the summer I might give it a try...
Realistic pony gun designs are something I've put a bit of thought into, so you might see some of them in other stories I write. Glad you enjoyed!
130500
Sounds daunting.
133266
Oh dear! I hope the doctors didn't have too hard a time reuniting your head with your body.
Swap ideas about diminutive equine weapons, we can...
Thanks a bunch for reading, reviewing, and the fave!
135143 133266 Z-Zombie PONY! ASSAULT HIM WITH CAAAAKE!
See, this is why in my TF2 crossover, they have collar-mounted thought-fired weapons. I've still got no idea what I'm going to do for melee fights.
Feel brilliant, sir; you deserve it.
129868
Could've sworn...
Hrm. Still on my favorites list though.
This why in my upcoming fic the 'gun' is attached to the amour and controlled through neurological enchantments weaved into the helmet. (lights cigar) ah magic for when you want to something physically impossible.
144889
Whatever you do, spare the chocolate cake! That's too precious to use as ammo!
144983
How are the guns fired by thoughts? I suppose... MAGIC! Regarding hoof-to-hoof combat, I would just have your ponies kick or hold melee weapons in their mouths. Holding and swinging a baseball bat with your mouth is sorta awkward, but ponies don't really have any other alternative. Still, that's much more plausible than handling a human-designed firearm with hooves.
188059
Thanks. Glad you enjoyed.
273605
Yep. Magic is certainly convenient, although I prefer to find some kind of mechanical solution to the no hands issue.
Thanks everypony for reading!
Now only if you could explain to me how ponies manage to play guitar with their hooves...
Best action trollfic ever!
280471
In the same way Lyra plays Lyre!
488193
Lyra uses magic. Or are you referring to Anthropology?
@YSNP
Awesome fic. Very awesome.
In my fic, there is a hoof-sized button in the grip. All they have to do is tighten their grip to fire. I use buttons because it's easy all the pony types (pegasi, unicorns and earth ponies) can use it without much difficulty.
Silverstein222 out!
280471
With mad skills.
488193>>488271
Thanks!
488515
But how do they grip the grip without opposable thumbs?
I haven't explained it yet because I'm early into the story but they snake their entire hoof around it. Makes it easier to squeeze.
Silverstein222 out!
Do not fret, I have come up with the solution. I wrote it a while back for my story.
Ergonomic Weapon Design for Pony use.
“Buck this!” Lieutenant Steel Rain kicks the cockpit door open and jumps out of the Black Hawk. She has perfectly good wings and she intends to use them! She relishes her newfound freedom for about one second before she is struck by cold reality, which just happens to be her flailing helicopter’s tail rotor. Any pony or griffon watching learns that a pegasus can indeed blend.
*takes off hat and the Military Taps begin to play*
That made me sad for some reason, because I envision anything I read. God damn me and my ability to form a personality for a character introduced within 1 paragraph. Also, how did she even take off? That must have been a real challenge. And imagine flying an F-16 or F-18. Oh boy, Houston, we have a a problem...
.496171
Magic.
Don't question it.
990352
She took off in the first place via plot contrivances.
Thanks for reading!
1087471
I wish life worked like that...
"So... how did you become a billionaire?"
"Plot contrivances."
"You... wrote your life?"
"Yep."
You're welcome.
PRIVATE RED SHIRT, NOOO!!!!!
Why do you always have to die first?!
recaption.com/memes/users/Annoyed-Picard.jpg
1126860
"I'm sorry, Sir! It's in the contract!"
*Gurgleburgleblegh...
130500 Which is why I'm listening to a reading of it on Youtube.
A reading which, sadly, ends at like chapter twenty-something. Which means I have to read it myself.
Sad part is it's all true! Lets face it the only guns a pony could use are mounted weapons, or those ancient Chinese hand cannon things when you put one end in the ground, hold the front up with one arm/foreleg and put slow match to the primer.
farm1.staticflickr.com/56/168130866_820c4f467c_z.jpg
At least until they develop neural interfaces and have the gun mounted on their barrel that's fired through thought process.
In my story, although I haven't gotten to it yet, I was going to go with what they have in that picture. But anyways I enjoyed this. Although the Lt. Steel Rain part...
Did it have to be a mare and not a stallion? (Yes I don't care about the stallions lol.)
Increase trigger guard size to incorporate hooves, also modify charging handles of M4/M16 assault rifles. Modify grenade spoons to work with standard issue shoes to sling the grenade with a pin pull and a wrist flick (note that the spoon's spring loaded nature would have to be neutralized). Any tools would need to be modified for either specialized hoof shoes or oral use. Unicorns are also simply more capable in any field requiring the use of small tools not uniquely specialized for ponies. There is a reason my oc is a unicorn. Magic allows both feats of fantasy and simple utility within the mere use of telekinesis not to mention the various other schools of magic.
Make it a magic-powered sentry mounted on your back.
The pushbar trigger system works best.Dreamlander4chan at Deviant Art created the concept anf the weapons for his story"MLP-FIM.The Great War"also at Deviant Art.Sorry I dont know how to make links.But you will find it.And the weapons he designed.I think you will be surprised.
Holy 💩 that was funny! My favorite part was the bullet-riddled Red Shirt. Gotta love a good Star Trek reference.
i.pinimg.com/originals/ce/9d/56/ce9d562f9d0b3aeb8570690ff2a9fc52.jpg
My Little Pony: Hoofheld Firearms are Magic.
This is also why filthy mud ponies shouldn't be allowed to be doctors.
This reminds me of a Robot Chicken sketch making fun of Dinosaur Train, where the train crashes because it wasn't designed to be controlled by the dinosaurs.