Night
Jinx was sweating slightly beneath the heavy cloak as he crested a second hill. Above him, the stars spun their cyclonic dance, marking the passage of time. Before his mother had died, his father had taught him how to read them, how each constellation would spin around a center point over the year and would rotate from horizon to horizon each night. The stars were set in their course, following the path laid out for them since their creation. Was Jinx also following his path, or had he gone astray? No. He couldn’t afford to have doubts, especially not this early in his journey. He could not return now, could not bear the knowledge of his own lack of resolve. He was committed to his decision even as his mind wrestled over whether or not it was right. It didn’t matter anymore; this was what he was doing, wrong or right.
Exile, self-imposed or not, was the only option he had if he wanted to keep his freedom. A sudden gust from the south broke his reverie, carrying with it the scent of burnt wood. The smell reminded him just how close he still was to home. He shook his head, looked up once more to ensure his direction, and started walking again.
The flat grasslands stretched in front of him, reflecting little of the starlight. Jinx walked with a steady pace, conserving his energy so he would be able to continue all night. Even in darkness, he knew the ground around him. Every zebra foal was encouraged to connect with the earth around his home, and Jinx was no exception. He was still within ground he knew as well as he knew his own hooves. That would be the case until he reached the rocky barrens, he knew. Yet even then, he knew what to expect. Past the barrens were the riverlands, as far as any zebra he knew had traveled, with the exception of his sister.
Five years ago, when the search for her had been called off, the elders had told him how her trail had led into a muddy bog where no zebra could possibly have survived. They had told him she must be dead, for if she were not, she surely would have returned. Jinx hadn’t believed it, hadn’t wanted to. Their mother had died only the previous year, and then Zecora had vanished. Jinx had insisted on joining the search, though he had known then as he knew now, that if a zebra left the village and kept going, even if they were followed, they would not be caught up to. No creature could eat up the miles as easily as a zebra determined not to stop, and why would he stop? There was little to break the single mass of the grassland between the river on the east and the savanna on the west. There weren’t even more than a half-dozen zebra villages in the area Jinx knew, though he assumed there were more in other parts of the continent. Perhaps, despite the stories he had been told, there were even zebras to the north. At once he hoped there were and he hoped there weren’t.
Jinx continued through the night, only pausing briefly to drink from one of his water bottles. As the sky began to lighten, he stood at the bottom of a hill he knew marked the end of the grasslands and the beginning of the barrens.Jinx climbed the rise just as the sun broke the horizon to his right. He stood still for a minute, watching the light spread across the grey expanse. There seemed no end to it from this vantage point, though Jinx knew he would be able to cross it over the course of the day. Carefully picking his way down the rocky side of the slope, Jinx entered the wasteland.
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Reminds me of Austraeoh...
Yup, after some research, you appear to be trying to rip off Imploding Colon. Go home. You are drunk.
1767930 Well, his bio says:
1768570 Which is why I think he's trying to rip him off...
1769676 I guess it depends on your viewpoint if it's plagiarism or inspiration. I haven't read much of either, so I can't say a lot on this.
1769729 It's not plagiarism per say, but it's like one of those cheep Chinese knockoffs.
1769738 You mean like "Backstroke of the West" if it had been made a separate film?
1769752 Sure, we'll go with that.
1769757 Have you watched it on Youtube?
1769826 Oh lawdy.
Zecora, eh? WAHT A TWEEST.
Also, you really should indent your paragraphs...
Your paragraphs were originally unindented? Too bad you changed it; indentation coupled with double-spacing is a typographical ugliness I wish (in vain) could be purged from this fandom.
I guess you could say that this is more "telly" than Austraeoh, but it fits. Rainbow Dash's motives and recent past were shrouded in mystery because she didn't want to think about them, but Jinx is specifically setting out on his journey to find his sister, so shrouding his motives in mystery would just be silly and inappropriate.
For the record, I'm going to count this as "inspired by".