Fillyshy

Discord returns and the first place he visits is ponyville,
Turning Fluttershy into a filly. With rainbow dash left to take care of the filly.
But discord isn't done just yet.

Chapters (0)

Comments ( 7 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 7
- Newest First
- Oldest First

The Tyrannical

The Tyrannical #1 · Dec 4th, 2012 · · ·

Oh dear, the description does not make this story look promising.

Edit: Your formatting leaves a lot to be desired. Instead of giving every sentence it's own line, separate them into paragraphs. Readers will give you a lot less hell.

DbzOrDie

DbzOrDie #2 · Dec 4th, 2012 · · ·

picture unrelated.
description with errors.

This will not go well

DianaWinters

DianaWinters #3 · Dec 4th, 2012 · 1 · ·

LOADS of potential!
I'd love to help and edit, set up the story on Goggle Docs and send me a link via PM (if you haven't done so already)
And who would want to change her back? She's ADORABLE!

Doxkid

Doxkid #4 · Dec 5th, 2012 · · ·

Same advice I give all new authors:

1) Get a Beta reader.
-Simple an straightforward; you need one, I need one, the top writers of this site need one. No one slinks by without one, unless they are preternaturally skilled. I'm not, they aren't and you probably aren't either.

2) Use the format 99% of all other books and stories use.
-Once again, simple. Don't try to innovate until you have all your mechanics in order. Walk before you run, blah blah blah. People will outright hate a mostly brilliant story if you messed up spelling every other words. By the way...

3) Proofread and spell check your story before submitting it.
-This should go without saying, but I'll say it for ya.
---------
Para~para~
Para~para
dox-ox
Doxkid

A mess

A mess #5 · Dec 30th, 2012 · · ·

Tons of potential but needs format work and I think there were some spelling issues.

Dementia Ravenmane

Dementia Ravenmane #6 · Apr 13th, 2013 · · ·

The potential in this story is strong.
But a severe formatting issue combined with a Mispeling Vyrus (Speltificarious Molesworthian) infestation is holding it back.
Instead of creating a barrier of dictionaries to remove the Vyrus, you should consider a proofreader or two, everyone needs them regardless of writing skills and they can really lift the best in your story.