• Member Since 19th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Jul 24th, 2016

Azzazel


T

...My name is Alex Mercer. I'm the reason for all of this. They call me a killer, a monster, a terrorist... I'm all of these things. Three weeks ago someone released a lethal virus in Penn Station. I woke up at the morgue. Now I hunt, I kill, I consume, I become. I'm gonna find out who did this to me... And I'm gonna make them pay.

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 309 )

Love it, have five bags of stars take FUCKIN all of them! :yay:

Me too!! and by the way... KILL PONIES!! WAHOO!!! :pinkiecrazy:

Ladies and Gents let me tell you. Badassmotherfuckery will ensue.

Interesting so far.

One thing I'd recommend is that you should use a new paragraph each time a new person is speaking. This makes it much clearer and easier to read.

Also, I'd recommend not glossing over so many details - instead of saying "they all go off preparing", either describe it or, while setting up the next scene, make it clear that they had prepared off-camera. Show, don't tell.

Alex, get a dragon to eat you, then morph into it.

As somepony who writes crossover fics, I am proud to see somepony else mix Prototype and Ponies. This kind of crossover has a lot of potential and I'm excited to see what direction you will take this fic. :twilightsmile:

As far as errors and constructive criticism, I have to agree with ErekLich. It may seem monotonous to start a new paragraph every time someone speaks, but it will make your writing much smoother and easier to read.

Good one man :twilightsmile:

Glad to see Alex again.

img.ponibooru.org/_images/3feb860bd7500c0386f7e3b42a1d8c06/80072%20-%20artist%3Asolar-slash%20Lyra%20monocle%20reaction_face%20tea.png
:ajbemused: Confound this Prototype fanfics they drive me 2 replay that epic game.
:moustache: Still interesting story please keep up the good work my good sir.

nice story seems to be coming along fine:pinkiehappy:

Oh I waited so long for an Alex Mercer in Equestria fic. Thank you for making my dream come true.

Interesting............ nuff said

Glad you like it every one I will get to the next chapter Asap !

This looks pretty good. It's rare that I see a prototype crossover that people seem to really like! Can't read it right now but I tracked so I will!:pinkiehappy:

I have never played Prototype before, but this story is really damn good!
And yes, when Greasebrony is talking, you better listen :rainbowlaugh: That man is a genius :rainbowlaugh:
-Glassed

*Click Track and 5 star*
I love Prototype... Now I can read it.

Other then the tons of gramatical mistakes, its fine.
Just use periods, and have seperate paragraphs for whoever speaks.

Ehh.
needs work.
It lacks grammer, lacks description, and lacks differing paragraphs.
It has potential, but I cant get past the grammer mistakes.


"A giggling was heard as the pink pony entered the room and asked. ''Hey Twilight. Why are you sleeping on the floor? Oh is it more comfortable than your bed? Or, oh is there something on the ceiling, hmm nope, or are you playing a new game? Oh oh I'm good at games what are you supposed to do, what's it called, what are theruhmffmhmhmfmh...'' An unamused Twilight was dusting herself off while keeping her friends mouth closed with magic. ''Pinkie what in Celestia's name are you doing? Haven't you heard of knocking?'' ''hmfmfhmfhmhfmhm'' ''Oh right...” She released her Magic. “There, now Pinkie why are you in such a rush?'' ''Well I was at Sugarcube Corner baking muffins, and after they were done I thought I'd take a little bite but they were so goodIcould'tstoopsoIhadtobakeanotherand...'' Twilight shoved her hoof in her mouth to silence her. ''The reason Pinkie, CALM down.'' She simply nodded."


should be:


A giggling was heard as the pink pony entered the room and asked. ''Hey Twilight. Why are you sleeping on the floor? Oh is it more comfortable than your bed? Or, oh is there something on the ceiling, hmm nope, or are you playing a new game? Oh oh I'm good at games what are you supposed to do, what's it called, what are theruhmffmhmhmfmh...'' An unamused Twilight was dusting herself off while keeping her friends mouth closed with magic.
''Pinkie what in Celestia's name are you doing? Haven't you heard of knocking?'' Twilight cried
''hmfmfhmfhmhfmhm''
''Oh right...” The lavender unicorn released her Magic. “There, now Pinkie why are you in such a rush?''
''Well I was at Sugarcube Corner baking muffins, and after they were done I thought I'd take a little bite but they were so goodIcould'tstoopsoIhadtobakeanotherand...'' Twilight shoved her hoof in her mouth to silence her.
''The reason Pinkie, CALM down.'' The pink mare simply nodded.



Three and a half stars for being a good idea, but needs grammer help.

Very interesting, it does need more proof-read, but the story itself is amazing!

Track, 5 stars, looking forward what will happen!:twilightsmile:

Hmm... Some morphing, virus infected claw monster and a bunch of candy-colored ponies... ?

it was good; the only thing that suprised me is that he didnt use his powers on the hydra like his blade arm

Have him come running out in his armor form with the blade out, i always thought that looked the best

Oh shit....He's gonna decimate 4 guards?:twilightoops:

No shapeshifting arms-into-weapons stuff? damn.:trollestia:

The names should have a space in them, like "PInkie Pie" and such, but not much else wrong with it.
Loved this chapter though, and I couldn't help but laugh a little at "Silvermane" since that's also the name of my character in my fic :rainbowlaugh: (which regrettably is on hiatus atm)
-Glassed

The lack of commas bothers me quite a bit. Other than that, I liked it.

I love how the best thing you could do right now is have him turn into a scootaloo and be like hell yeah i kiled a hhydra

I wonder if he consume a goddess what powers he can get...

Oh man this is gonna be sweet. Having the most ridiculously overpowered video game character I can think of in Equestria can make for tons and tons of bloody, gory fun.

Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash. yes, there's spaces in their names. also, might wanna get someone to check your grammar. Otherwise, good chapter.

140093 I agree with him.. I think that would be ungodly funny : )

Alex is a bad ass! Takin out a Hydra, figured even he would have a bit of trouble, didnt even use any of his real abilitys!

oh i have a feeling this is either gonna be funnier than all hell... i hope it will be at least. :pinkiehappy:

140825 I know right, I expected that too

Considering his personalty.
Him and Celestia are going to have the WORST meeting

cant wait for more hope alex doesnt hurt anyponey :scootangel:

This song fits Alex so well for some odd reason

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEbE3fGfF-o

that was a great chapter!
I'm just being OCD but the only problem that really bothered me was when I downloaded it, there were a lot of space-placement problems.
that was the only thing that I saw

Is alex even considered human? I mean in the game it said that virus only took the form of alex.

It would be hilarious if he consumes Celestia and Luna.

142499 It could be argued that the strain he stole as leverage was a more perfected strain which would easily explain (and lazily at that!) every difference between the events.

It could also be argued that it was dumb luck that his body caused a further mutation in the virus once it was infected that yielded playable Alex. Also, correct me if I misheard the WOI or cutscene, but isn't that pretty much what happened with Greene? It was more or less dumb luck that her body changed the virus they made in Hope, just the only difference between them is that she didn't get shot up right before infection (that's how it came across to me, alex smashes the vial and gets shot immediately.. then gets infected).
http://www.gamespot.com/prototype/forum/what-is-alex-mercer-49997977/
http://prototype.wikia.com/wiki/Alex_Mercer

i got to say kind of worried how this will go, but like a train i can't look away. ah well i'm sure you won't go to overboard with Alex.:eeyup:

Login or register to comment