- Member Since 24th May, 2012
- offline last seen 18 hours ago
Red Does Reviewing
just a spy bot intrested in reviewing
Red Does Reviewing
Joined 24th May, 2012 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- milesprower06 · 89k words · 1,483 91 · 32k views
- Billy G Gruff · 4.6k words · 188 8 · 4.6k views
- Meadow_Elune · 31k words · 30 5 · 2k views
- RandomHamster33 · 9.9k words · 76 8 · 1.1k views
- Wolokai · 59k words · 465 24 · 4.9k views
- EternalShadow54 · 27k words · 24 2 · 1.8k views
- TheUnknownPerson · 42k words · 39 6 · 2.8k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.1 seconds
Total duration
1,046 users online
2,197,497 hits today, 2,829,583 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Okay what?
No
i1.kwejk.pl/site_media/obrazki/2012/01/e7e1339822cb654d6fb124465c881837.jpg?1327337038
Not sure if serious
If serious, please work on your grammar, text structure and punctuation. Learn to divide the wall of text into chunk sized paragraphs.
If troll, you did a great job
Didn't manage to focus past 2nd indent.
P.S. Awesome fic cover picture.
1687759
No. Even if he was a troll, he sucked horribly. A good troll leads you along, then finishes up with a twist that makes the readers mad. Something that is written with terrible grammar, spelling, etc. is not a good troll fic. Don't compliment someone for writing terribly.
uh ya no
1687939
Then why are you mad? He may have been a terrible troll but at least he still got to you.
1688001
I was mad at the author? Huh. That's news to me. Guess you know my emotions better than I do.
1688006
See there you got getting trolled yet again, up your game man. It's like you have the mentality of some insecure high-school kid that gets incredibly defensive when someone makes a gay joke.
1687659 lol i am trying to get better at grammar sorry this wasn't meant as a troll fic I'm working on it if somepony would help that would be awesome
1687659 lol i am trying to get better at grammar sorry this wasn't meant as a troll fic I'm working on it if somepony would help that would be awesome 1687759 i'm sorry for my horrible grammar and spelling i going off of just spell check and no proper editing
1687659 lol i am trying to get better at grammar sorry this wasn't meant as a troll fic I'm working on it if somepony would help that would be awesome 1687759 i'm sorry for my horrible grammar and spelling i going off of just spell check and no proper editing 1687227
an idea i had after seeing the cover image
I actually found this quite good to read. It was quite abstract and could have different interpretations. However grammar definitely needs improving. ;)
1688087 thank you kind pony i hate to say this but i just tried to make some edits on my part, i really need an editor anypony you can suggest
1687939
See, no need to be rude. He's trying. Also, you cannot stop me from complimenting people for trying. Effort >> Talent
1688095
) for evaluation. The best way you can overcome your difficulties is by learning proper patterns, not dumping editing work on other folk.
I suggest you start off by writing for your own enjoyment, not posting it on FiMFiction. The amount of work that would have to be done in editing is way over the amount of writing you have done. Take some classes in writing, read a lot of fics here to get ideas about proper grammar, tempo and presentation. Then send it to a friend (or me
Editing is good for when you got some proper writing skills. It cannot substitute lack of such a skill.
1688235
i write a lot i mean a lot and when i was writing most of this i just threw up on a page or two and sent it with out thought I'm going to repost this with a lot of changes i promise i like this story idea the cover image was my inspiration
I can't even...
30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2a282gS6J1rplgfeo1_250.gif
1688095 I have not read the story, but it seems the key points have been pointed out. If you are looking for an editor, there are many groups that deal with that general field of expertise. To avoid you all the trouble, I wouldn't mind editing your stories for you, but I will warn that sometimes it might take me about a week to finish editing because of school, family problems, my own stories, and another person I am editing for. Before you make the decision, I would suggest that you follow 1688235 idea. Try starting off writing a bunch of random stories, which it doesn't matter what the subject pertains to, because this will help improve your creative ideas on how original the stories you write are. Also, try doing a little study on the show/game/whatever you are writing on because it is important to get some of the main ideas right, or you will get pointed out on it.
There are four ideas that people look for whenever they are reading a story (This refers to both writers and reviewers, intentionally or not intentionally.): characterization, visualization, punctuation, and originality.
Characterization is how well a character can be contrasted from another, or it can relate to the original character that the idea came from. People like to see their characters acting the way they usually are in their shows. It gives the readers the pleasure to relate to that character and understand the reason they are in the positions they are.
Visualization is another key factor; the understand of the world around the character. Readers love it when they can put themselves into the story so that they get a more emotional understanding that of what is going on. In other words, they would call this 'showing and telling' showing would be the visualization part of the story. It is good to describe the environment without describing it. By this I mean the author talks about the environment without literally telling you what is around the character, or the features of certain actions. They imply such by using phrases, metaphors, similes, etc. to describe the object, action, or detail of which relates to the object they want you to think about. A better way to understand this concept is to play the game '20 Questions', which is when you choose a noun, and it is the object of the other players to try to ask detailed questions on what the object looks like in order to come to the conclusion of what the object is. This displays a great example of visualization that the questions can be taken from this game and added in as adjectives to words. Again, it is important to describe the way the object looks without telling them what it looks like. It is okay to do this sometimes, but not all the time.
Punctuation, believe it or not, is checked by everyone. Intentionally or not intentionally, readers are reading for punctuation. The reason why grammar and punctuation is important because it affects the flow of a story, paragraph, or sentence. When people read, they don't realize that the punctuation is affecting how they read a story. It is made to slow down, speed up, stop, or even transfer the sentences between one another. I will give you the quick preview on what some of the punctuation can do to a sentence. Comma, the punctuation that many have trouble with, affects when it is okay for a reader to take a quick break, or slow down, their reading to allow previous information to sink in. Remind you, this does not stop the flow of a sentence, it only gives you a short break before you have to continue reading the story. Periods are your initial end of the flow. They are made to stop the read exactly where they are at to allow everything to be processed properly. Some people don't stop as long as others, but it is the initial stop that allows the brain to take in and understand what is happening through out a story. The last one I want to get out there is the semi-colon, which is this punctuation mark --> ;. It is not used as often as the comma or period, but it affects the flow of how the sentence should appear. From what I have understand, whenever I saw it, it is a stop, but it is not a stop. It will end the reader's feelings for a sentence, and it will introduce a new emotion; however, it can be used to start up the same emotion but at a more intense state. It may not be noticed by many, but the punctuation is a very important factor in a story, for it can change the way a sentence is read.
Lastly, there is originality, which is how different your story is from other stories; what makes your story unique compared to the other ones. When people read a story, they want to read something that they have never read before, something that never came to their mind as an idea for a story. Being that almost all of the common ideas have already been taken, it will be hard for some people to create something that is original. Others have created a story with originality, but they have branded it with a symbol of discomfort; therefore, when someone else tries to go and write it, readers might not give the story the opportunity to see what it is like before judging it to be bad as the one they known to be as the bad original. A few examples of this is the Red-and-Black OC's and Alicorns, but I don't think I can use this as an example because there are many reason on why people don't like these other than originality. Here is a better example: the typical love story. Two people fall in love, they go through some sort of event together, they confess their true feelings, they get together, the end. That is an original, and if someone else uses the same idea, it then becomes unoriginal. In order to make the idea original, other ideas has to be put into the story that derives it from the original.
Well, that is pretty much the subjects authors need to understand when writing a story. This is just something I thought I should share with you. Again, if you want me to be your editor, I wouldn't mind it, but I would take into consideration writing random stories to improve your writing skills and the fact that I am not going to finish editing in one day. It does take time to get editing done, so I expect I am given the time I need to finish the story the way you want it unless you want the incomplete job. Anyways, that is all I have to say. I hope you don't mind this long rant (when aren't my rants long).
From hell, to you, and back again,
Soto Konoha, TWE Administrative 80's Reaper
1689629
that bad?
1689629
that bad?1690041
damn......i taking both suggestions and taking some grammar lessons but damn long rant atleast read the story for me please then at least give me tips
celestia i keep making changes as i think of things to make it better
I thought it was great
though it was difficult to understand in some parts but it was good verry creative 
though if u continue I wold like to know what drove pinkie to do such things and how there was more than one pinkie 
I liked it and don't worry about what everypony else has to say your a great wrighter so keep up the good work 
1690041 1690919
"That long rant" is actually a person taking an epic amount of time to give you valuable advice based on what he/she thinks will benefit you. I counted the words, and it's actually more than the story itself has. I commend Soto Konoha with a couple of
and my personal favorite:
Too big picture
1693493
that comment wasn't negative towards his rant it was just long and really helpful i read through it several times and took it's advice and re did several things and changed things i found were wrong
1691262
it brings a tear to my eye 
thank you very much
what parts did you not get and thank you very much
1691262
and this will keep going
cdn.derpiboo.ru/media/BAhbBlsHOgZmSSIBfzIwMTIvMTEvMjUvMTJfMDRfNDhfNl8xNjI2ODlfX1VOT1BUX19zYWZlX2FuaW1hdGVkX3Njb290YWxvb19hcHBsZV9ibG9vbV9zd2VldGllX2JlbGxlX2N1dGllX21hcmtfY3J1c2FkZXJzX3Nwb2lsZXJfczAzZTA0X25vcGUGOgZFVA/162689__safe_animated_scootaloo_apple-bloom_sweetie-belle_cutie-mark-crusaders_one-bad-apple_spoiler-s03e04_nope.gif
1701821
what?
I enjoyed it. It's not often you see a Pinkamena Diane Pie and her other side in one story...unless there are stories like that and I don't know where they maybe hiding out.
1706008 thankyou
1707102
thank you so much the newest chapter is out called pills here
1706794 Bronies and Pegasisters need to cut you some slack. I hate it when people get discouraged.
You can try editing the story, but don't feel too bad. I deleted my first fanfiction because people were jumping onto me about spelling, but some one told me to keep going, so I reposted it. Just keep going.
1724788
so did you like it?
dude this is amazing! People just don't get dark it's sad.
2070082
i love you and i really think you should know that i was just working on the next chapter and i was thinking of stopping this story because of teh negative
2076566
If you love it you shouldn't let it go because of such a small problem. People here are just so used to cutsie stuff that when something is this morbidly dark it has a steep wall to climb. My guess is that half of the readers that downvoted thought this would be cutsie in spite of the tags because I have found many fics with a dark tag that have no reason for said tag. This is one of the few that fits the genre and breaks the pattern. It takes true guts and intelligence to write something like this. If you love working on this story keep going if your hearts not in it it's better to try something else than do something your hearts not in. When your heart is in something fully it will be your best work. This story definately deserves some love.
2080003 my heart and mind are in this darkness till the end or till the end of pinka's mind
I'm very sorry to say, but I simply couldn't get past the first few paragraphs. Not because of the gore, (hell, that's why I came here!) but because it's in serious need of editing. I could see well over a dozen mistakes within one minute of reading.
If you could find a proof-reader to iron out all the grammatical errors and sort out your sentence structure, I'd be interested. If that happens, message me, and I'll trying reading it again.
2088838
that wasn't suppose to be up sorry i need some editoral help
2088838
i got it edited and it should be extremely better
Not bad cant wait for the next chap
2159033
thanks but most mail i get is bad so thank you what did you think of it if i may ask i havent gotten very much feed back telling me much
2164496 well it's easy to follow for one. Sure there's a few run on sentences here and there or some bad grammar, but I like the plot. Pinkies decent to insanity as her friend rush to help her. I'm really interested on how the others are going to react that these were deep seated emotions in pinks. Also can't wait to see the rest of the black book. There has to be more since its not just the mane 6 that were victims but not even pound and pumpkin were spared. So my hats off to you sir or ma'am, this a delightfully dark story and I can't wait for more on the back story as we dive deeper into the reasons for pinkies insanity.
2164926
thank you for the support i'm working on the next chapter now....
2174522 so when's the next chap
2398539 ummmmmm oops
2400667 oops?
2401466 i need like acouple more line a good twist of a refrence and it'll be up probably tommorow
2402860sweet can't wait
2403781
thank you for your support this is a rather hard thing to do