Chapter16.5: Research Ravings
Chapter 16.5
(Reminder that I own nothing!)
‘Thought’
“Dialogue”
“Words in a foreign language.”
“Quoting in thought”
Crystal Beaker
Professor of advanced magical sciences
Leader of the Everfree city expedition
January/01/003 Lluna Nova
Excerpts extracted from section titled: Notes on ‘hue man’ Language
In the March of 895 of Celestia’s reign, a series of books were written by a researcher by the name of Deep Thinker. These books were a collection of his research data covering the culture and language of Equestria’s native tribes of Diamond Dogs.
The alien language that my colleagues and I have been attempting to crack has many similarities to Diamond Dog script and actually appears to become more and more similar as we compare older and older sections of Diamond Dog writing. This means that, according to Quick Quill’s theory of language morphologie, the alien language is a potential precursor to the Diamond Dog written language.
The Everfree city could very well be an example of a lost civilization of equis, forgotten long before the rule of the Princesses, maybe even before the reign of Discord.
The language of the denizens of the Everfree city is unnaturally precise in virtually every example the expedition possesses. We hold mountains of written material that is far too clean to have been produced by even our most advanced printing presses. What rare written notes we do have show a large departure from the precise nature of the more common printed examples. Out of the notes we have discovered almost every style of writing is unique to the point where deciphering the letters has become quite the challenge.
Excerpt extracted from section titled: Everfree City
The strangest thing out of all the evidence we have gathered is that, up until mere months ago, the Everfree City was a living, breathing settlement. I need not explain what this could mean to the scientific and arcane communities but, if what these findings are pointing towards is true, then the Everfree City could be as close of a look at ancient Equis as Ponykind will ever see.
Excerpt extracted from section titled: Notes on ‘hue man’ Behavior
We've been studying the two last individuals that supposedly were members of the race that constructed all of this. I don't know if I believe that, surely a race as animalistic as the hue mans, as they call themselves, couldn't last long enough to achieve this kind of engineering mastery, one of them nearly mauled a nurse that was trying to help them today for goodness sakes. Still if it is true, if Celestia managed to recover a breeding pair of the species which created the Everfree city, the possibilities are not to be taken lightly.
***
Green Leaf
Professor of Botany
Member of the Everfree City Expedition
December/29/002 Lluna Nova
Excerpts extracted from field journal
12/29/002
We set out for the City today, it’s strange such a thing is even happening.
I can see the lights through the trees. Why did it light up today of all days? Do the residents know we are coming?
12/29/002
We made it to the entrance, it is almost totally dark. I'm glad the Royal Guard are with us, coming to this place would be crazy without them. The streets are lit up just like Manehattan or Canterlot. This whole place feels strange, not just the normal kind of strange either, its like I am walking through a painting of wax fruit and plants, everything seems almost unreal.
12/30/002
We were attacked last night by something. Or I guess lots of somethings. The first was some kind of giant monster that injured Celestia, I don't know how badly. There were lights all over it so bright you couldn't look right at it and it soaked up offensive magic like a sponge. Luna was able to finally kill it but the worst came after that.
The second attack almost felt like a retaliation by the city itself. Monsters emerged from the shadows like nothing I've ever seen before. Its like they were pulled from the earth itself, old bones made animate and sent to strike down those that threatened the city’s guardian. Strangely, a few moments after they appeared they vanished into seemingly nothing.
We've taken refuge in some massive grey structure. It’s as close to a fortress we could ask for and it seems safe enough.
12/31/002
I decided to try and get some work done today. Luna has gone to investigate the monsters from last night. I took some guards with me, there was no way I was going out into those streets all on my own.
12/31/002
I have found something unsettling about the Everfree City. The trees, when I examined them, were alive. This doesn't sound strange until I also mention that they happen to also be totally disconnected from the ley lines of Equis. They exist completely independently, like they are some kind of self contained world, but that’s not the creepiest thing. The reason I have found this place so unsettling is that all of the plants, every living thing, doesn't have a shred of magic in it.
NOT. A. SHRED.
No wonder this place doesn't feel real.
***
Stone Slate
Contractor under hire for the Everfree City expedition.
Expert in the fields of Construction and Architecture.
Excerpts extracted from field journal
12/30/002
Managed to get out on the streets today. Have to admit, the attack the other night has put all of us on edge. Those monsters, whatever they were, have totally vanished. Nopony has seen hide nor hair of them since.
I finally mustered up the guts to do my job and am I glad I did. You would not believe the engineering that has gone into these buildings. I don't know for sure but I'm guessing that they could stand up to Equestria’s most powerful storms without any damage at all. The structures are built with internal bracing that reinforce walls made of materials that are far stronger than anything I have seen before.
The weakest building material I’ve found so far has been the stuff they make some of their interior walls out of. It’s all white and powdery if you manage to break it (which I needed tools to do effectively) and almost all of the stuff you find is painted over. Thing is, it looks like they put this stuff on to hide the actual wood part of their walls, which are made of some unthinkably hard material. I can’t even imagine where they got it.
If these are the typical residential areas I’d probably drool over their military stuff.
12/31/002
Wow. Just wow. I examined the large tower across the street today. Its the second tallest structure in the whole city but its by far the strangest and most amazing. The entire thing swings on a set of stilt like structures, it is totally disconnected from the ground and allowed to shift back and forth. Did the ponies/creatures who once inhabited it need such an innovation? What in their environment necessitated a building that could sway like a sapling in the breeze? I look forward to discovering more of their building techniques, the quirks we’ve found in their architecture have been nothing if not fascinating.
12/31/002
Imagine my surprise when I strolled back into camp after work today to find two members of the City’s native inhabitants waiting for me. They are tall, hairless, and beady eyed. Judging from the photographs I collected scouring several buildings, they are young adults but that’s just a guess from an untrained eye. Sadly I couldn't get very close to them, apparently one of them is suffering from several injuries while the other is incredibly dehydrated. I hope they’re going to be alright.
***
Silver Ink
Professor of Nonpony Culture
Member of the Everfree City Expedition
January 1, 003 Lluna Nova
Excerpt from personal notes, first draft of official report
I stumbled upon something quite interesting today, a dwelling absolutely brimming with examples of hue man art. Well, more than any of the others, anyway. This particular building contained a bedroom filled with sculptures, paintings, posters, and almost anything else one could think of.
The subject material was surprisingly varied. Several pieces included species common to Equestria and its neighbors, such as gryphons and dragons, while others strayed wildly into what I can only bear to think of as a hue man’s definition of fiction.
The most common pieces of art were small sculptures, approximately the size of an average pony’s hoof. I was unable to identify the material used to construct the majority of them, although I did find several carved or molded from a material similar to pewter. Many of these sculptures were painted in vibrant colors, ranging from greens to purples to reds and every other color you’ve ever seen on a knight from any of the old legends.
Subject matter was almost as varied as the color palette. I did not take time to be absolutely sure, but I would estimate that at least two thirds of the sculptures depicted hue mans in some form of combat dress or another. Perhaps a quarter of these bore regalia similar to that of the Solar Guard, weighted down with plate and chain mail with flowing capes, although they did disembark from the stereotype of the typical Equestrian soldier in that they their equipment was universally bulky. Their armor would almost double the girth of the hue man Chris were they to scale, and each of them holds a weapon so large that I am sure the floors of Canterlot Castle would not support their weight should they be fully rendered in iron or steel.
Perhaps half of the hue man sculptures depicted the species in fashions I truly hope to be fictitious. They mimicked their knightly counterparts in sheer volume of armor, but I believe this garb to be of an entirely different nature in its construction. After studying the impeccable detail of each sculpture, I believe that these pieces depict hue mans in forms of armor that are self supporting, or possibly even augmentative of the wearer’s natural strength. I have not come to this conclusion lightly, for I realize how absolutely ridiculous it must sound, but I will attempt to defend my assertion here.
Of those pieces that featured an opened or absent helmet (there were few, perhaps seven or eight in the entire collection), it was apparent on each that there was a gap between the wearer’s chest and breastplate large enough that it would be impossible for the shoulders to properly balance the weight of the suit. The center of gravity would be shifted so far forward that not even a Diamond Dog (who appear to be much more advanced than hue mans in terms of musculature) would be able to remain upright.
Additionally, exactly four individual pieces showed severe anatomical anomalies in their rendition of their subject’s armor, namely in the arms. Each of these depicted an individual in which the wrist began where the hand of a normal hue man would be located. Initially believing these to be errors on the part of the artist, I examined the detailing closer and found each set of hands to be entirely mechanical. I believe that these extended forearms would be used to stabilize the over-sized weapon held by each of these individuals. The possibility that this race developed equipment so powerful that they must augment themselves in such a way is troubling.
Finally, I must bring attention to those pieces that demonstrated the use of prosthetics, which would make up the remainder of the hopefully-fictitious pieces. Every single artificial limb on these figures should be patently impossible. Entire lower bodies are constructed out of what appears to be iron or steel and clearly display pneumatic or hydraulic functionality. Many figurines display arms that are constructed in a similar fashion; these would, without fail, cause their wearer to topple over from the sheer weight of the extremity if they were left unsupported.
Due to the mandatory brevity imposed by Crystal Beaker, the full scope of my findings cannot be communicated in a single field report. I will content myself to say that I am very happy that we have not yet found a trace of technology of this nature anywhere within the Everfree City. I find the implications of defensive systems of this scale and complexity almost terrifying, especially when combined with the possible offensive capabilities I may have found evidence of, which I will detail in my next report.
It is my truest hope that my fears come to naught and that I am in fact observing the products of an overzealous collector of thematic artwork. I plan on questioning the hue man, Chris, about my findings later if Crystal Beaker deems my concerns pressing enough to warrant disturbing his recovery.
***
Dr. Bandaid M.D.
Medical consultant
Member of the Everfree City Expedition
January 1, 003 Lluna Nova
Examination and treatment of species, self identified as ‘hue man.’ Full field report.
I didn't quite know what to think when our Princesses and the Elements of Harmony dragged in these two beat up monkeys for me to look at. One of them was apparently the cause of her majesty's own wounds, although I sincerely doubt it.
The hardest part about treating the both of them is that I have no magic with which to do it. No magic, period, by mandate of Celestia herself. Long story short, magic kills them. Or at least causes them extreme discomfort (I'm not sure which, Twilight Sparkle was vague on the details). I began with a quick examination, the male went first due to his obvious wounds. I thought they wouldn't be too serious since he came in under his own power but some of the lacerations were quite deep; it’s a wonder he managed to walk at all, not to mention the plethora of contusions, abrasions and even some light internal bleeding. I’m surprised he was conscious.
Commander Spitfire also handed me a completed blood test from the male and asked me to take a look. What I found was surprising. At the time of the test the male creature showed a very large concentration of caffeine in his system. How much caffeine? Over four times the legal limit and close to the lethal amount for anypony under 70 kilofeathers. Which is pretty much everypony. I asked him how he was feeling and inquired as to some of the symptoms associated with caffeine poisoning, but he responded that he was fine and that he was “feeling better.” That should not have been his answer.
I turned my attention to the female at the male’s insistence, he asked me to pay special attention to her throat. I was uncomfortable leaving him at this point but did eventually relent. Good thing I did. When I finally examined the female it didn't take me long to discover she was suffering from advanced dehydration (despite her looking fine from the outside). We quickly set up an IV drip for a basic hydration solution. It was a little bit of a risk due to our tenuous grasp on their blood chemistry at this point, but it was that or let her shrivel up like a dry sponge. She didn't like needles much and displayed this fact very clearly when she gave my nurse a black eye and some scratches across the face of a hapless guard who happened to be just a bit too close.
The male calmed her down and we finally got the drip in. It took constant surveillance and finally a scolding from the male to keep her from pulling the needle out. She relaxed after a few hours and became much more pleasant after that. Her irritability was likely a side effect of the dehydration.
With their immediate medical needs seen to, it was time to sate a bit of our own curiosity. The basic examination was simple and allowed us to confirm that their blood chemistry was almost identical to a pony’s as well as having a similar bone structure (relatively speaking). The most shocking thing we discovered is that the hue mans, as they called themselves, do not have any connection to the magical ley lines of Equis, nor do they posses any means to internally produce magic. This is almost unheard of in Equisian biology. Magic, as you all know, is responsible for a great deal of life processes, most notably sapient behavior.
I asked the male (the female was asleep by this point and didn't seem like much of a talker anyways) if he could shed any light on this and he responded by saying that, and I quote, “there is no magic where hue mans are from. We are intelligent because our body is able to refine nutrients in a way that we can support a more advanced brain. It’s why we almost have to eat meat.” This statement coupled with a short conversation later with Miss Sparkle revealed that the hue man named Chris (the male) had complained about not being given enough food while he was imprisoned at the garrison headquarters in ponyville.
Sure enough, after another quick examination I found several signs of the beginnings of malnourishment (as evidenced by an apparent loss of muscle mass). I asked Commander Spitfire about the rations he was given during his imprisonment and she responded by saying he was fed two small bowls of unseasoned oatmeal a day and that he had repeatedly refused to eat the standard ration of hay. She had assumed that the amount was sufficient due to “his repeated waste of food by throwing it at Soarin,” who I'm assuming was his guard. When I told her about the creature’s health and that he had been in the beginning stages of malnutrition, she was surprised and seemed somewhat upset.
This new information has allowed us to make some general guesses (or theories, for those stuck up society ponies) about the hue mans’ general biology. What information we do have points to an absolute absence of magic in their development, even in the beginning stages of their species’ maturity (because there’s no point in getting rid of magic once you have it). Their average core body temperature is approximately thirteen degrees Mareinheit warmer than that of a pony, which would indicate that their physical body is taking a larger part in maintaining itself, whereas the body of a typical Equestrian mammal is partially surviving off of its connection to the ley lines of Equis, which makes for a lower core temperature. This may also explain the hue mans’ required intake of meat. In order to support a body using more energy, they have to intake a larger amount of energy through a more efficient system, which would come in the form of meat, since a purely vegetarian diet would require a lot of time spent just... eating to maintain the required calorie intake. This is about all we can guess at until we have more information. I’m hoping to bug Chris for more information when he’s in not such terrible shape.
Research grant here I come.
Author’s Note: Exposition... exposition everywhere! Also chapter 17 is underway! Fun times!
Co-Author’s Note: So... I actually enjoyed writing a research paper for once. See if you can guess which one it is! -Admari
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Now now Chris, lets not go about giving away human secrets shall we?
i really hate it when humans are referred to as thing to study and *they got a breeding pair together* that sort of thing as well as our culture as a thing to study. it just makes me really angry and frustrated.
Very well thought out cjhapter, i applaude thee!
2603492
Yep I knew a few people might get a little miffed at that. But don't worry it's all part of the story.
One might also consider that there will always be people who see the world that way. A person who's first thought when they encounter something new is "What can I learn from this?" rather than fear or anger is a rare and valuable thing, too bad it often comes with cynicism and a lack of entropy.
There will also always be people who's first though will always be "how can I profit from this?" these unfortunately are generally more common than the first type.
2603974
Thanks I try to put a lot of thought into all of my chapters. As few of my chapters as possible will be filler chapters and even though this chapter is exposition some development does take place.
. . . I want to introduce this Beaker fellow to my good friend Mr. Knuckle and Mr. Punchy. Because clearly he doesn't know sapience when he sees it.
I was just thinking. Since that part of the town was cut out and placed in the Everfree forest, what happened to the part of the forest that was cut out? Maybe they switched places. Could be an interesting side story if you ever have a writer's block...
2604231
True, it would be interesting, maybe a one shot that focuses on what happened to Rachel?
A bunch of naked freaked out humans wander out of a forest that just swapped places with a whole city. Many are injured, some don't even make it due to falls from several stories up, a tree suddenly materializing in the same place that they are occupying, ect. The alien trees and plants would either all die, due to lack of magic or they might act like a seed and spread, eventually saturating earth with low levels of magic just like Equestria. In the middle of this you have a scared devastated woman who lost the man she loved and is desperately searching for him.
...Yeah, it sounds like something that'd be worth reading. Don't know if I could get it up on this site though, it would be lacking 100% of the pony required.
Brilliant, things like this chapter are truly what makes a story worth reading!
I would like Chris to make some snarky comment about grave robbing. That might make a few ponies to give pause before pilfering things.
2604774
Give it time...
2604639
> Reads comment
> Considers writing rest of the story in exposition
> Past self notices and smacks present self in the nose
> Past self threatens bodily harm if style of story is changed
>Present self asks if hurting him would also hurt past self
> Past self responds "That's your problem."
2604220
When are they going to discuss the gun Chris carried? I find it rather odd that Luna didn't mention it last chapter to Celestia.
2604834
I couldn't stop myself. FORGIVE ME!
fc08.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2013/022/3/4/my_little_looper_poster_by_dakln-d5scjkm.png
i.imgur.com/DyMdO.png
2604923
Ah yes, don't worry that will be coming up next chapter. As for Luna having not mentioned the weapon, there is a time and place for everything and Celestia and Luna both have thousands of years of experience in knowing when that time might be. Also when one of them wants something the other very quickly knows what, another advantage of having lived with someone as long as they have.
Admari wrote the engineers diatribe. The poor pony must have stumbled on someone who made mini-figures. what's it called? Warhammer 40k maybe? Must have been great fun.
2605470
Heh yeah that part was a lot of fun to help with and like always Admari is a champ.
And yeah I think it was a mix of WarHammer and 40k.
2605359
When you start to really dig deep into the motivations of the characters you might notice that even though that is true for the moment, the presence of the research team is slowly eroding away the advantages John/Chris has. If you look you can see the different diplomacy styles of Celestia and Luna. Celestia is more motherly and caring while using her vast experience to manipulate a situation to her will.
Luna on the other hand makes up for her lack of experience with a shrewd style and by taking actions to weaken an opponent until they don't have any choice but to comply.
John is having both styles used on him at once. (Poor guy)
As for getting too see ourselves through the eyes of a race of aliens, it's a mirror that ensnares many with its reflections. (Yes including me)
2605470 Silver Ink is actually an expert in Non-Pony cultures. Right piece though!
And yeah, most of the figures are pieces from Warhammer and Warhammer 40k, although the four figures he mentions as having anatomically incorrect, mechanical hands are actually Starcraft II Marines. It's a neat quirk in their design that I felt like pointing out.
And yes, writing that was a blast; especially when I realized that almost all Equestrian artwork in the show is a representation of an actual event. Imagine if you came from a culture where almost all art pieces correlated to something real and then walked into the room of a massive fantasy or science-fiction nerd.
I might reread this fic, because it's so awesome.
This looks interesting. I love chapters like this, mostly because I enjoy watching ponies scientifically trying to make sense of humans. Favoriting to see what happens next.
Are any of the ponies going to ask Chris or Eleison about the shadow/earth creatures that showed up right after the tractor/forklift went down? Talking to Chris should establish that he and the monsters are not on the same side, and Eleison's response might get pretty interesting.
2617657
There is about to be a some words exchanged yes...
Also glad to see your enjoying it.
I enjoying seeing human life from the perspective of an alien species. Best kind of science fiction.
I take it the white powdery stuff on the interior that Stone Slate was referring to was sheetrock?
And I'm guessing that caffiene is somewhat like alcohol to Ponies.
2643355
Yes on the sheet-rock but caffeine has its normal effects, ponies are just extremely sensitive to it.
I don't really want to say it but well done on the scalar balance in-between world building and mystery. When I was comparing you to PegasusKlondike
(hereafter known as 'PK') in style I have found two extreme differences (yes I still like PK's universe; I only wish I was able to go to the convention on the 6th to pass ya'll along the grapevine of awesomeness (Yes there are a few other authors but you two have ground a good bit into my heart in this matter.).
Please do not take the comparison as a 'true' preference (after all... who could take tapioca as the only taste they could have again without flipping out.).
The first difference; PK is much better at matching the canon with his headc-anon. You ignore it but your style/world can do without it.
The second difference; Your world has a really good grasp of mixing Equestrian reality and modern reality without losing or condemning the otherness of Equestria. This situation is in and of itself mysterious.
'Breeding pair'
...
I would dearly like to smack the pony that said that. I mean, these are _people_, not just animals.
And bearing in mind that these are people, consider the problem inherent in producing a third generation.
I do hope the researcher simply failed to think through what he was suggesting.
2604220
If there is anything to this Roswell stuff, I imagine some bright spark was saying the exact same "breeding pair" thing about survivors in a escape pod... Arrogant stupidity crosses species lines.
The statues sound like Empire(?) and Necron models from Warhammer/40k.. I at first thought Space Marines, but then I remembered that Necrons were hunched over and their guns are ridiculously large.