That day, the weather was beautiful. A wonderful spring morning, unlike most others. The sun shone, the birds chirped, the wind blew oh so gently across the fields and apple orchard. It was one of those special, once in a blue moon days that came around so rarely that the residents of Ponyville just had to enjoy it with a stroll or simply bask in the warm rays.
One such resident was trying his best to do just that. However his mind weighed heavily on him, thoughts and regrets surfacing. His face remained emotionally detached as he stared up through the sky. On the outside he looked like he was just bored, though inside he was in turmoil.
She doesn't love me. Heck, I'm not even sure she likes me.
The dragonling Spike, his scales a deep shade of royal purple and a green just lighter than the grass he lay upon. One of his greatest fears had become realized the day before. Why did it hurt so much? That mare's beauty surpassed all others, even rivaling that of the princesses combined. If he could, he would pluck the stars from the night sky just so she could use them in her dresses. He would move mountains in her name. He would love her unconditionally. Rarity was truly a gem, one he would never have, for she did not love him.
He inhaled deeply until he felt a slight pain in his chest and exhaled in a sigh. Spike just wasn't sure how he could face everypony.
“Did I ruin my friendship by asking her out?” He wondered aloud. The purple drake wasn't even sure if he really wanted to be friends with her anymore. As soon as that thought finished he mentally slapped himself. Of course he wanted to stay friends with her! Even if she didn't love him like that, he wouldn't abandon her just because she said no. He couldn't do that to her, even though part of him wanted to.
Through all this contemplation of self, Spike never noticed a rather pink personification of happiness and smiles bounce jubilantly through the park. Pinkie Pie was very hard to miss, even when one was so deep in thought, but still Spike stayed oblivious. The party pony noticed him, however, and with a beaming grin she began making her way to the dragon.
Her thoughts drifted to Spike as she approached. He was a bit young, but he was a true gentledrake and tons more fun than a lot of ponies she's met before. He played pranks with her a few times before, and that was a blast! Heck, he was cute as a button to boot. If he could get his mind off of Rarity for all of five seconds...
“Maybe I should just avoid her for a couple of days and let things settle down.” She overheard him say. Of course, the pink pony's curiosity was piqued. Why would Spike avoid somepony? Maybe she should stick around a bit a little ways away and see if he said anything else. Spike, still not aware of the spying Pinkie Pie, kept his train of thought going.
“I guess it was stupid anyway.” Spike muttered sadly, his features growing to express how he was feeling. He looked so depressed! Pinkie just wanted to run over and give him a big hug and tell him, whatever was bothering him, it was going to be fine. She did not, however. Instead she restrained herself and waiting.
“No one could love me.”
Suddenly, realization dawned on the pink mare. This obviously had something to do with Rarity! It might have been best not to make her presence known at that moment, but something like this needed to be resolved as quickly as possible! If Spike truly thought no one could love him, maybe she could show him otherwise.
Spike nearly jumped clean out of his scales when a sudden blur of pink wrapped itself around his frame, lifted him clear off the ground and started to swing him back and forth like a rag-doll. He was confused for only a moment when he started hearing the trademark motormouth of none other than Pinkie Pie.
“Ohmygosh Spikey-Wikey! Don't be sad, come on tell Pinkie what happened!” She started, and it went by so fast the trapped dragon took a moment to decipher it. He tried to wretch himself from her death-grip, to no avail.
“Pinkie.” He tried, feeling a bit woozy. She didn't seem to hear him.
“Pinkie!” He attempted again, louder this time with the same results.
“Stop it, Pinkie!” He practically screamed. This time he was heard.
“Oops,” She giggled, dropped him on his feet. Of course she heard him the first time, but she just didn't want to let him go. He took a moment to balance himself and force down the bile that threatened to come up. After a few moment of gathering himself, Spike looked up at Pinkie with slight agitation evident in his glare. Pinkie just looked back expectantly, her eyes practically glowing with mirth.
“What do you want, Pinkie?” He started a little harsher than he wanted. The pink mare just giggled in response, much to Spike's confusion.
“Oh, Spikey, I can tell you're feeling down.” She stated. Spike suddenly found the floor much more interesting than the pony in front of him.
Maybe she should go about this a little differently. There's too many ponies around that could overhear him. With a grin in place, Pinkie grabbed Spike's tail in her mouth and threw him on her back. He was shocked, to say the least.
“Whoa! What are you doing?!” Questioned a none-to-happy Spike.
“You'll see!” Was her reply, and they were off.
Sugarcube Corner was dark. Darker then he ever remembered seeing it. But worse then the black depths of the bakery was the silence it sat in.
“Mister and Misses Cake are on a week long vacation to Fillydelphia, so the store's been closed until they get back.” Pinkie answered his unheard thoughts. “They still don't trust me to run it alone after that one time, with the pudding and muffin batter.” She and Spike were before the front door as the pink party pony set to the task of unlocking it. A single hoof rummaged through the saddlebag in search for the key, however she only turned up a strange assortment of items.
Spike was awed by the amount of things she could fit in that little bag. A stack of party hats, a mound of confetti, a really long rope, an extension cord, some spare parts to what Spike could only guess were to her Party Cannon. The list went on and on. That is, until she finally yanked out a single key on a keychain in the shape of a balloon.
“Great success!” Pinkie yelled, though it gathered little attention. Most of Ponyville was used to her antics, or so they'd like to think. So, she dropped her bag to the ground and brushed all her unsorted items inside. With a swift movement she unlocked the door, stowed the key, and brought Spike inside.
“So, what did you bring me here for?” Spike inquired, both curious and a little bit exasperated. Pinkie let him slide off her back and onto the tiled floor of the bakery. She trotted over to the counter and flicked the nearby switch on, illuminating the room as the lights switched on.
“You,” She pointed a hoof at him. “Are gonna tell me what's wrong.” Her perpetual grin seemed to grow.
“You're kidding.” Spike grumbled.
“Nope!” The pink mare giggled. She delved under the counter and began to dig around for something. A few things flew this way and that, a ladle, silverware and a stray straw were all Spike could count before she pulled something out with a grunt of effort. A safe, no taller then a ten inches, slammed onto the countertop.
“Uh,” Spike tried. “Why should I?” He said, regaining his composure.
“I'll show you why.” Pinkie began with a sly grin and a mischievous look in her eyes. She turned the level on the safe door, opening it and without losing her grin she produced a gem, but not just any type of gem. No, this jewel was truly something rare. At that very second, Spike's stomach growled at him, the traitor.
“Are you bribing me?” He questioned incredulously, though he couldn't take his eyes off the sharp, blue embodiment of yumminess before him.
“Maybe.” Pinkie sang, twirling the crystal on a hoof. “I'm sure you know what this is.”
“An Ice Sapphire.” He said in a distant voice. The treat called to him, but why did she have it in the first place? He decided not to question it, given the situation.
“Not just any Ice Sapphire, this one's been aged for ten months.”
Spike's heart nearly stopped beating at that.
“Now, tell me what's bothering you, and its all yours.” She declared. It was obvious she had him, every way she moved the sapphire his eyes would follow. Spike was caught, he knew that Pinkie wouldn't leave him be until he told her. So, while she was offering, he might as well spill the beans despite not wanting to talk about it. With a groan, Spike plopped on one of the stools behind the counter and tried to mentally steel himself for the coming confession.
“Well, it happened yesterday.”
It was just about noon when he arrived at the boutique, rose in hand. Spike stood before the door, his hand refusing to listen to reason. He wanted to knock on the door, but he couldn't do it! He was scared, this would be the first time he actually asked Rarity out on a date. Or, at least, the first time he was truly serious about it. Those times before he had come off as joking, but now he was going to do it right. Taking a moment to gather himself and strengthen his resolve, the dragonling finally found it in him to reach up and knock on the door.
“Coming!” A voice called. He could faintly hear the sound of hooves on wooden floor as she approached. He felt his nerves weaken, his fight or flight instincts kicking in. He was afraid, what if she said no? What if she laughed at him? What if she really didn't like him like him like he did her? These thoughts raced through his mind and when the door finally opened they all came to a screeching halt.
There she stood, a vision of beauty, the one of a kind mare herself. Rarity, his angel. She looked down at him with a little, polite smile and he couldn't help but let a grin find it's way to his face as well.
“Oh, Spike. Hello, darling, what brings you here?” She asked, seemingly not noticing the red rose.
“Uh, you know. Just wanted to drop by since I was around.” He lied, an awkward claw finding its way to the back of his head, scratching at his spines. As his gaze dropped to the ground he spotted the rose and it seemed to boost his courage, if just a bit.
“Would you like to come in for tea, then?” Rarity offered nicely, making a motion with her hoof for him to come inside. “I'm sure I can find a few gems for you.” Spike was awfully tempted, but he had something important he needed to do.
“Actually, Rarity. I was wondering something.” He ventured, and it looked like the porcelain mare's eyes found the rose, only to look back at him in an instant. Her polite smile vanished. Spike continued, despite the warning signs. “There's this new restaurant up in Canterlot, I hear its really nice. Uh, I was wondering if you would go with me.” He was losing his resolve for sure. “On a date?” He finished lamely.
She suddenly found the ground very interesting. Spike took that as a very bad sign and he was right to do so. Rarity thought carefully, she knew this day would come and she had been dreading it for a long time.
“Spike,” She spoke slowly with carefully chosen words. “I'm sorry, but I just don't like you that way. You're a very good friend and a true gentledragon.” She smiled sadly at him as she crushed his heart into powder. “But I'm afraid that's all you'll ever be to me.”
It was something that everypony had seen coming, but then Spike wasn't a pony. He had truly wanted to be with Rarity, he loved her so dearly. And yet, she didn't love him. Pinkie watched as he restrained his tears, spilling his issues in a choked voice. She felt bad about forcing this, but she felt worse about how this had all played out. A part of her really wanted him to end up with Rarity, if it would have just made him happy. She looked upon the dragon digging his way deeper and deeper into his own thoughts, hateful views and self-loathing.
Spike was a dragon, that much is known, but what came with that was the painful price of his species, a woefully long lifespan. In most cases this would not be a problem as dragons rarely interact outside their own kind. Spike on the other hand was raised by ponies and they did not live nearly as long. His fear began to consume him. Twilight, Pinkie, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and even Rarity would all eventually die and leave him all alone in the world.
He wanted to disappear, maybe he should. He could leave now, he could live somewhere else. Not among his own kind, he had already met other dragons and they were horrible. But he could live alone, he could forget. But did he have the power to do that? Pinkie Pie watched as his expression of sadness deepened, she could only guess as to what was on his mind.
“Maybe I should leave.” Spike mumbled, the treat he had been tempted with forgotten. He dropped off the stool and started for the door. Something about how he said that made it sound all the world to the mare that he was going to do something he would regret. With a nimble leap she hoisted herself over the counter and slid between the drake and the exit, her bright blue eyes speaking of determination.
“Pinkie, move.” He growled with a glare to match.
“Spike, I can't let you leave until we fix this!” She barked back.
“Fix this? Fix what?! There's nothing to fix, it was never broken! I'm a dragon, okay? A dragon living with ponies.” The way he said that final sentence sent shivers down her spine. It was almost as if he hated them, hated her.
“So what? That never mattered before!” She countered.
“Of course it has, it's always mattered! It's because I'm a dragon that I'm an outcast, it's because I'm a dragon that nopony will never love me, it's because I'm a dragon that I'm going to live even...” He choked back a sob. “Even after everypony is gone.”
That broke it. His rant over, the emotionally exhausted Spike broke down on the bakery floor, a shocked Pinkie Pie left to think on what he had said. Surely, he wasn't right about all of that. Everypony around here loved having Spike around and if Rarity didn't love him back because he was a dragon then it was her loss! But that last thing, it really got to her. She had never thought about it like that. Dragon's live so long that a ponies lifespan was like a blink of an eye to them.
Spike found no solace in the coldness of the tiled floor, however the icy grip of the surface was soon replaced with the warm fur of the only mare in the room. Pinkie cradled the dragonling in her arms, nuzzling his cheek even though he refused to open his eyes.
“Spikey, I think you're wrong about one thing.” She whispered to him. Curious, he slowly opened his eyes only to find her face rather close to his, nearly nose to nose. She had a faint, though sad, smile on her lips. “I know somepony likes you a lot.”
Yay you're back.
A spike x pinkie
instant fave!
/)(^3^)(\
although there were a few glaring errors, the grammar is very fluent, so my compliments to you for that
I think I'll just keep an eye on this, and see what happens
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Errors, you say? Would you mind giving me an example, if that isn't too much to ask?
You should be complimenting my proofreader/spell checker for my fluency in grammar. While I do try my best to keep out errors he catches the ones I tend to miss.
Can you even write a fic that I don't like? dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_TwilightWut.png
Possibly one of the best things to come home from work and read!
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I'm flattered. I'm sure I'll write something that doesn't catch your fancy eventually. But, until then, enjoy!
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I will enjoy! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Colgate_bedroomeyes.png
Also, to your statement about writing something eventually that doesn't catch my fancy:
[youtube=YoPVC4YxDlI]
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Beavis and Butt-Head? Hell. Yes.
All the Feels. ALL. OF. THEM.
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Guess who's back~ Back again~ PD is back~ For the win!~
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My mission has been accomplished. Onto the next objective.
Very adorable!
(You could probably have shoe-in'd a kiss before the last line, though. Would have been fiting)
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Soon, my friend, soon. Have to keep you all interested somehow.
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Hehe sorry for the long wait for a reply, I was on my phone reading, earlier And now the battery's dead
And I'll just say I'm a sucker for irresistible romance such as this, and you have my two favourite characters too!
Right! examples? I'll try and make sure this stays short; I've a habit of writing longer comments than fanfics
I'll just add, after running back through this comment (which is too long, damnit, Vexy!) that you make use of colloquial language throughout, so anything I say that should be corrected below should recieve a pinch of salt before digestion.
Spring shouldn't be capitalized in this context.
'He inhaled a deep breath', Or 'He inhaled deeply'.
You could probably get away with leaving it, but it just sounded more fluid in my head.
'She did not, however. Instead she restrained herself with considerable effort, and waited.'
Shuffled a few words, rephrased the 'trouble', and corrected the tense at the end.
Don't answer your own rhetorical question, silly!
My eye twitched. The spines on his head and back are green, but the scales on his skin (which I assume are the ones you're referring to here) are purple.
Those are the few I could pick out while skim-rereading. Otherwise it's very well-written! A refreshing read.
I just want to talk a 'lil about the plot, though. Mainly because I love Spike and Pinkie, I love ships, and I love talking about plots.... *Giggle*
First thing I wanted to say, was your introduction: Spike had already been to see Rarity, and the reader finds out that it didn't go well. I was surprised you didn't include the actual scene beforehand (and feared you weren't going to at all!), but luckily it was all unfounded, and you included the scene later on. I expected that to be kind of anti-climactic, considering the we already know the outcome, but I didn't find it too bad. I didn't find it terribly satisfying, but that might be due to the entire 'rejection scene' being a mere 500 words long. Personally I think you could have expanded on this a little. Poor Spike-Wikey's being rejected!
Another thing I wanted to add, was Rarity and Spike both seemed... kinda harsh. I mean Rarity's scene: she didn't really let Spike down gently. She just sort of said "Nnnnnope!" It kind of echoes in Spike, as he coldly tries to brush Pinkie off, each time he asks for help. I can understand he's hurt, and he wants to get home. But he's certainly no master at hiding his feelings.
Maybe I'm looking too hard into this.... Maybe.... and wow, I need to stop writing this
But I wanted to add this final point!
I just wanted to say what I tell myself every night before I go to bed: show, not tell. You should show Pinkie's feelings through her actions, rather than just her thoughts. That way the reader can truly understand how Pinkie feels. At the moment I have no idea whether she's been fantasizing over him for months / stalking him, or whether it's just a passing crush.
Just my 2000 cents...
Don't hate me...
Also, how come your story also has a 'Sad' and 'Slice of Life' tag? Just out of curiosity.
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How could I hate you for helping me so greatly? I'm serious when I say I love criticism. While it might not be all that motivating it is helpful and if you take the time to point out the mistakes it just means you care enough to do so.
I think I'd have to remove the 'Sad' tag, but the 'Slice of Life' tag is there for a reason. I was under the assumption that Slice of Life meant something akin to just a walk through life with the characters. There's no real big adventure to be had in this tale, instead its a sort view of the characters as they go from day to day. Is that wrong?
A Pinkie Spike? YES!!!!!! Rarity's a bitch, but that's my option, I'm very glad that Pinkie is there to pick up the pecies but then I think that what Spike ays is true.....other then the Princesses themselves, he will have no one after the very least....100 years?
Maybe Peewee though hopefully. But the point of the matter being is that what would Spike do if he gave all of his entire bieng toPinkie (or some other mortal pony) ans she died? Then what?
Poor Spike....Dragons are not gods or goddesses are they? I know the ponies have their own gods (Princess Celestia, Luna and even Discord) but what of Dragons, or Griffions, or even Zerbas? Damn...I need to stop over thinking this, but it's so much bucking fun
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Hehe that's good
I don't like being the guy who writes a really long review, and then the author just thinks bad of me - then I just feel like a really bad troll which isn't really what I go for!
As for the tags, I suppose this would suit a Slice of Life then.
Description from the site:
So there you go
Can't wait for the next chapter, if it motivates you at all!
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Rarity is just boring to me, I'm so tired of reading Sparity that I actively avoid it now.
I remember reading a fic about Spike becoming a godking because he was dragon royalty and by extension he was immortal. I recall it being very well written, but I can't remember for the life of me what it was called. I read it during the wait for season 2, I think.
1615507 To me personlly, Rarity is my least favorite of the Mane Six and of anypony, she just so bucking annoying and really gets on my nerves, unlike Pinkie Pie where I know that how she acts and she has humor in it, Rarity is just as snoobly and stuck up as Diamond Teria and Sliver Spoon (which is kind of sad for I like Sliver Spoon) but I dislike Rarity a lot...least favorite pony ever.....though when it comes to her being romanticly pairied then I'm ok, she's still a bitch but I look towards who she is with (long as it's not Spike or Twilight) then the whore herself, you know?
But that's just my option, everyone is allowed to have some creature they like and dislike correct? Hope I did not change anyone mind about her if they like her.
And damn...that sounds like a story I really would enjoy reading, if you ever find it please let me know so I could give it a shot.
Best day ever. Promethuwhatever is back!!!
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You can call me PD if it's easier. And I'm glad to be back, where was I?
Ok, I've got to get this out of the way. I really wish people would stop writing about lifespan issues when writing a Spike story.
One can't guess the lifespan of a magical pony. Also Spike is literally the only dragon of his kind so far, who knows what that means for how he lives and grows. Lastly, if the show did go by real world lifespans then Twilight and Rarity would outlive the others by several hundred years.
This issue aside, I am liking this story so far. Spike's pain really tugs at the heart strings.
All my megusta, take them We really need to see more Spinkie
You see, I really hope to see an episode talking about this Sparity issue for real. It will be Sweetie's turn, then
A Spikie Pie fic, well I'm sold and of course I think I know why Pinkie Pie's friendship with the rest of the mane six is going to be in danger, it's because she's in love with Spike.
I can see it now:
"Hey girls did I ever tell you I had a crush on Spike?"
"You what?!"
"You're jokin right sugercube?"
"Haha good one Pinkie Pie, you almost had me there!"
"I'm being serious!"
"Oh my!"
"I'h don't believe it!"
"Why did he fall for you?"
"Because I was there for him in his time of need."
"You liar! You seduced him I know you did!"
"I did not! You on the other hoof rejected him and crushed his feelings!"
"It's called letting them down gently darling."
"That's a load of horseapples Rarity!"
"B-But I"
"I don't think your Spike's type Pinkie."
"Trying to take Spike away from me huh Dashie? Well it won't work because I love him and he loves me!"
"It's true."
"No way!"
"Sorry girls but the proof is in the pudding!"
"Oh Spikey Wikey I love you!"
"And I love you Pinkie Pie!"
And then they kissed.
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And then Spike's evil twin, Ekips, showed up to steal Pinkie away from him!
1616875 But he got stopped by Eip Eiknip who wanted something more than a kiss.
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Though Ekips is a greedy dragon, so he tried to take them both for himself.~ He attempted to fool Pinkie with chocolate ice cream.
I really enjoyed this read! There are a few errors, such as the replacement of "than" for "then". Other than these tidbits, the story is very interesting! I love the buildup! You better keep writing this story! Put all of your resources into this story! Literally put every ounce of effort! This has great potential, and could become an amazing Spike shipfic! Thank you for inviting me to read it! PinkieSpike is a cute shipping! Of course, Spike x Any Mare is a cute shipping! Hahahahahaha!
Keep it up, my friend!
(If I were to change anything? Add more detail to the Ice Sapphire! It might not be significant to the story, but it is the incentive for Spike to relay his woes to Pinkie Pie. Providing a description of the "rare" gem allows the reader to understand what makes the gem so special in the first place.)
1616924 But Eip Eiknip wouldn't let him, she said that if he did so he'd be cheating on her and Ekips just couldn't do that. So they left and Pinkie Pie and Spike kept kissing unaware that anything had happened.
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This might sound stupid, but I hate editing chapters after they've been posted outside of fixing up the spelling or grammar. It just seems to me like it would confuse anybody who didn't go back to read the updated chapter, which would involve skimming through to find the one paragraph which had been added. Though, I will explain more about the Ice Sapphire in the chapters to come.
Given how the Fire Ruby was said to be aged in the show it leads me to believe it may cause a sort of... Intoxication... When ingested by a dragon. Sort of like a dragon's alcohol. I may be completely wrong, but I don't have anything telling me otherwise. So, if the Ice Sapphire (and Fire Ruby) were to have an intoxicating effect on Spike... The scenes practically write themselves.
I may have given too much away, but oh well!~ Thank you for your input, friend!
SpikexPinkie Pie.......Heck Yes!
Totally diggin this story so far, really looking forward to what happens next.
I normally don't drop lines here before reading, so I can give any kind of advice. But you owe me so I'm just gonna say this. OMG U R BAK
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I have been resurrected as PD 2.0, 20% Cooler then the old PD.~
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I have a taste for the odd, as I've said before. I'm knee deep in the second chapter, though I haven't found much time to write it given my current job-hunt.
I like it, even if the pacing seems a bit fast for my tastedl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_cry.png
Moar plzdl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Octavia2.png
That new cover art
Mmm each day leaves me more and more eager to see where you take this!
Love the ship, love the story so far. But wait, Pinkie Pie hugs Spike in attempt to bring him comfort and causes him to nearly vomit? Doesn't sound like a very good start to their relationship. I do hope you'll be continuing this one.
SpikeyPie???!!!! Must follow!!!! Oh and DAT cover...
Wo, reading and following this!