When the ponies woke up the next day to begin their daily work, something was amiss. Twilight Sparkle, resident librarian and pupil to Princess Celestia, was missing, leaving only a heavy tome unopened on her desk. The library showed signs of struggles; burn marks and soot lining the inside of the room. The only witness to the crime was Spike, the librarian's assistant. A scroll was sent to Celestia immediately, detailing what he'd heard.
"I screwed up Twilight, I'm sorry. I don't want to have to drag you into this, but I have no choice."
What followed would forever go down in Equestrian history as the longest night of self discovery, general nonsense, diplomatic relations, more general nonsense, changeling culture, debate on morals and beliefs and general nonsense that the world had ever seen.
And don't get me started on all the nonsense.
Now heavily edited.
nonsense, lots of it
well
it was interesting
Indent new paragraphs to make it more readable please.
Silly Chrysalis
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Huh, didn't know you could do that. Anyway, paragraphs are now indented.
Now this paragraph sounds familiar...
[youtube=www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nvs5pqf-DMA]
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I know, it's almost as if it was copied word for word. What an absolutely unexpected coincidence that, halfway through this story, right between the tasteful sex joke about Chrysalis, the reference to Gordon Frohman, the reference to both Doctor Who and overly long sports analogies, Gak, Castlevania and Edgar Allen Poes 'The Raven,' that there would be a remarkably similar transcript to the famous Monty Python skit 'killer rabbit,' from the popular movie 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail.'
It's almost as if the author put it there on purpose, but that's ridiculous, I know the guy, he wouldn't do something like that. He's a cool author, like that one who wrote 'oh shit mate, what are you doing?'
If I didn't know any better, I'd say that the author even knew he was ripping off the skit, thus including the extra line of 'enough blatent joking,' due to the fact that the entire paragraph was blantly stolen.
Just utterly ridiculous.
1951288 1949282 I've seen that rabbit before! I think his name is Angel.
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I wouldn't mess with him. He looks ready to wreck shit
Glad I finally got around to reading this.
I present: the longest chapter in history!!
For some reason, i kept expecting twilight to be turned into a changeling while reading this XD
huh... soooo, the little shaking container was just a mean fear prank? XD
Huh, that was interesting. So, did Chryssie survive, or is it simply that there are no new queens and she is simply reborn into a new body time after time?
And what was in that tune?
Laughed a lot reading this, cried when Chryssie wad seemingly dying. Aside of spelling errors here and there, good job.
Cya
Raziel-chan
Man, I don't like massive chapters like this, since there's too much to comment on. If you ever re-read your own work, consider opening this up in the edit window when you do, since I catch a massive amount of spelling mistakes or missing words.
Other than that, it was an enjoyable read, though I did get lost a few times with the character actions and where they were moving, such as Chrysalis and Twilight going deeper into the hive, where I got a sense of ennui where I felt like they were moving, but since their environment was still an underground hive, they weren't actually going anywhere in a metaphoric sense. That's about as good a metaphor as some of the metaphors in this story.
I see Luna and Celestia both like to poke fun at each other, given the names they gave their airships.