Nevermore

by sneef

The Party I

Poe wasn’t sure where to begin, especially taking the situation into consideration.

He had just been given a pie and an invitation to a party, two things that Poe hadn’t been given in a very long time, and definitely never together.

And, should he have been given the two together, he would have at the very least expected it to be over a dinner, and Poe should have thusly expected to be having the pie as a good end to a better meal. However, this was not the case, and instead, Poe had received both standing in the middle of the road. He even spied one or two onlookers looking up from similar evening dishes to gawk at his rather unusual bipedal stature.

Furthermore, there was the oddity of the pink, rather petit horse. She had addressed him as- Poe struggled to bring it to the forefront of his memory- ‘Mister Shady’. Poe, being completely oblivious to any sort of connotation that the title was attempting to convey, was entirely flummoxed thusly.

Should he take culture into account, it could have been entirely possible that ‘Mister Shady’ would be an entirely acceptable epithet for a person- or, rather, horse, in this case- to retain. Thusly, Poe concluded, ‘Mister Shady’ would suffice as a proper pseudonym, should he require one.

However, Poe conceded, ‘Mister Shady’ was ridiculous, and Poe vehemently desired not to ever come in contact with that sobriquet ever.

Poe looked west, to the setting sun, and wondered precisely where ‘Sugar Cube Corner’ was. He thusly started in that direction, for he spotted a place to polish off the remaining three slices of pie.

As he walked, he began to notice, in the dim -- indeed, now moonlit-- night, some of the shops- or at least what Poe assumed to be shops- ran the whole gamut from sensical to ridiculous. One store he spotted featured some sort of padded chair and a quill on the sign adorning its low thatched roof.

He looked to that card again, and remarked upon the place name. ‘Sugarcube Corner’. Beyond the uncannily fitting name, he reasoned that the culture must’ve dictated it to be some form of sweets shop, due to the ‘sugar’ part of it’s name. As he rounded the next bend, Poe found he was gazing upon a seemingly lighter street than the others.

It resounded oddly, almost chillingly within the man, as if his very spirit warned him from this place. It was as if this particular street hearkened to spirits unseen in such a way to have them lift the place’s essence and make it some pariah of darkness -- as a Kami to a Shinto shrine.

Were it not illusion -- the stubborn notion Poe vehemently swore to -- then it was assuredly cloud cover, or some other natural catalyst. However, Poe could not explain the ague placed upon his presence -- the feverish twitch settling in unnaturally on his person, which he could neither give a permissible vindictive account toward, nor gloss over with a semi-permeable artifice; it was at this that Poe decided he must rest his qualm, and continued on in spite of his vacillation.

Poe’s eyes glazed over the various shops, his demeanour suddenly nigh feverish and agitated, a fact that served only to embitter him further. His prudent faculty began suddenly and all at once to take leave of itself in a manner that he could forbear no longer; Poe began to fitfully lurch forward in a sickly manner, his mind set only on continuing onward. His fists he clasped closely to his person, as if overcome by some horrible panic and cold together -- and consumed in his horror, he thought it fit to seek some sort of shelter, and demanded of the world only solace -- for, at this very moment, he required more than anything in the world respite from the outside, and peace. He would wish hell, for one moment, on the black -- but alas, still light! -- night.

He stole into the nearest shop thusly, profusely muttering under his breath an apology. He backed into the corner of what appeared to be storefront, and kept himself -- albeit barely -- quiet enough as to be unheard for the moment.

The store -- for Poe assured himself it indeed was a store -- was dark, and so natural a dark was it that Poe likened it to ink; a good, natural dark that could never coalesce with the thuggish succession of normality that was the street. It was this natural dark that Poe felt he could be at ease, and thusly at peace.

Indeed, Poe noted, it was an oddity that he had reacted so in the beginning; upon turning a bend he had lost all sagacious being -- or so it seemed -- and that he had gravely and direly overreacted. He had set upon himself the terrible ague that had embittered him so, and it was nothing more than illusion, as Poe had thought. Poe concluded that he must give himself further credit in the foreseeable future.

In fact, Poe -- he here stood to take his leave -- began to think that he could, after all, defeat this terrible nightmare and return to his home. He had justly proved to himself that he may win victories over it, and perhaps, with enough effort, battles may give way to war; which he would win.

He strode, in the ink-like darkness, to what he assumed the door, giving cause to more than a few heavy footsteps in his regained confidence. As here he opened the door, gazing upon the street it gave way to, he remarked that indeed he had been correct in assuming that there was no change in colour of the lighting of the street, and he had only fooled himself into that horrid illusionary thinking.

There came a sudden ‘click’, however, as Poe’s eyes shut suddenly tight -- light flooded them as a hurricane to a dyke -- and a cacophony of shrill, raspy non-human voices assaulted his ears, the noise making Poe bring his hands to his ears in defense. Poe suddenly regret every statement he had said previously -- even the one about giving himself credit. Especially that one.

--

Pinkie Pie’s eyes had been shut incredibly tight as she blew upon the noisemaker. In fact, she had blown upon the noisemaker incredibly tightly. No, wait. Hard -- yes, that was the word -- Pinkie had blown on the noisemaker incredibly hard, because Pinkie Pie had almost given up hope that the emergency party she had arranged would be effectual. She could recant to herself the tale -- and indeed a tale it was, though Pinkie would have likened it much moreso to a tail -- of gathering her friends, telling them it was a matter of the utmost urgency and that they must, if at all possible, attend.

In the end, however, all of her friends had managed to come. Those who did attend -- of course, the five of her friends -- consisted of Rainbow Dash, who Pinkie had just managed to wake up, and furthermore how she was able to convince her to actually come with her was a complete mystery to Pinkie -- perhaps it was through her copious use of the word ‘really’ -- and Twilight, who was going to be still awake late into the warm summer night, for this was in her nature.. Pinkie had Twilight agree through, again, copious use of the word ‘really’. Though, Pinkie admitted, it wasn’t as if it was uncalled for -- indeed, Pinkie placed a very high priority on this excursion -- but perhaps she had overstated it to a certain degree. Applejack hadn’t been hard to convince to leave her normal cycle of winding down, Rarity she had told of her previous fashion-identification feat, and Fluttershy she hadn’t told about Mr. Shady at all, for fear of scaring her. She would be scared nonetheless, but this was a necessary evil.

Furthermore, Pinkie now felt the consequences of her hard work -- that is to say, a wonderful emergency party for Mr. Shady -- and her jubilation resounded throughout Sugarcube corner like a noisemaker. Pinkie’s hypothesis thus far was that this was due to the fact she was blowing on a noisemaker.

As Pinkie opened her eyes, she was greeted to the sight of Mr. Shady quite enjoying the surprise. He had a hand over his heart and he appeared to be breathing rather heavily. Pinkie concluded that he must have been even more surprised than Pinkie would have previously thought he would have been. Clearly this was an indicator that Mr. Shady will enjoy the party even more than expected as well.

Pinkie bounced in place whilst turning to her two other friends to introduce her possible new friend. “Ohmygosh -- Twilight, Rainbow, this was who I was telling you about!”

Twilight’s demeanour then changed from mildly annoyed that Pinkie had dragged her to Sugarcube Corner while she was studying to intent curiosity on the matter. She walked forth and -- as she bore eyes that bored into the man as intensely as his suit was black -- threw off her boredom, Pinkie Pie carting out various food items.while carrying more than her fair share of streamers -- most of which she carried not conventionally -- and spoke a greeting the the black-suited man.

“Hello! My name’s Twilight Sparkle. No, wait, that wasn’t any good- no yes it w- ah! Just... what’s yours?” Twilight’s tongue tripped over itself as she failed yet another introduction -- just as she thought she had improved, too! -- and extended her hoof toward the suited man.

Said man shook for a moment, swallowed what Twilight felt was fear, and spoke.

“Mister Shady. Mister... Shady is what she calls me.”

---

Comments

[sneef]

Ugh, sorry this took so long. I've hit a brick wall here, and I didn't want to post what I had because I thought I wasn't quite done with it. However, I suppose stagnating isn't the best option either...

[RealityDowngrade]

My, this has quite drawn me in, and I know I, for one, would indeed not mind getting "moar".

[sneef]

1769523 You might have to wait a couple weeks; I am writer's block'd.

[Insane]

Kami to a Shinto shrine. How does Exactly Poe know this,For His's Most people Know Little about Asia

[sneef]

1780317 That was actually an author comment. A bit sketchy, perhaps, but I think it works; it's not Poe that's speaking, after all.

[Braininthejar]

I wish I could like it again.

[sneef]

1783939 Going to quote myself here.

“If I could ‘I know that feel bro’ through the computer screen, I would.”

Edit: Have my tumblr.

[Enclave2277]

Who's this pink mare who knocks upon my door? PINKIE PIE NEVER MORE! imgc.allpostersimages.com/images/P-473-488-90/63/6322/29A7100Z/posters/i-became-insane-with-intervals-of-sanity-edgar-allan-poe-quote-poster.jpg

[sneef]

1957064 I adore that quote.

[Venter]

Hey there! Sorry it took so long for me to get you back; had a move to a new house and classes starting up again :3.

This review brought to you by Authors Helping Authors

Grammer (out of 10): 8. Your spelling is on point, and your grammar is generally good, but some of the attempts at the older tricks of speech just sound off to me grammatically (this could just be me failing at older speak). Example:

“ ‘Twould be nice to off the road, you drunkard!”

Seems like it should have another word or two in there to me.

Pros: You put Edgar Allen Poe in Equestria. Win.
You managed to capture his writing style pretty well
You have a very strong sense of humor

Cons: The dual writing styles start to bleed together near the end
A few sentences could be slimmed down
It's difficult to get a third con on

Notes: Seriously, this is one of the better ideas I've seen. The fact that it follows a somewhat stereotypical HiE format only makes it infinitely funnier, since in lieu of the brony you have Edgar Allen Poe. I love the fact that it seems to have a dualistic writing style - you sound like Poe when the story is focused on Poe, and you relax that style when Pinkie is in the spotlight. If I'm right in thinking that's the goal, then you start to blend the two a bit near the end. For example,

She could recant to herself the tale -- and indeed a tale it was, though Pinkie would have likened it much moreso to a tail -- of gathering her friends, telling them it was a matter of the utmost urgency and that they must, if at all possible, attend.

comes off more in the Poe style, though with a nice pun in there. Which reminds me, the humor throughout is great. Made me smile smile smile =D.

The sentences run a bit long in a few places. Example

She walked forth and -- as she bore eyes that bored into the man as intensely as his suit was black -- threw off her boredom, Pinkie Pie carting out various food items.while carrying more than her fair share of streamers -- most of which she carried not conventionally -- and spoke a greeting the the black-suited man.

(there's also a rogue period trying to invade this sentence). But honestly, all of these criticisms are ones I had to search pretty darn hard for. A thumbs up and a favorite for you, and keep it up!

BTW, I'm not sure if the review requests are supposed to chain, but if so my main fic is The Ballad of Jack and Sylvia: an Equestrian Odyssey. I know you don't have a second one yet, but I'd gladly give you an IOU in exchange for another review :3. No pressure if you don't wanna though =D.

[sneef]

1962948 First of all, to 'off the road' is actually correct. Doesn't sound correct, I know, but it kind of is. 'Off' = get off something; like one would use the word 'oust' as a verb. Also, it's supposed to remain in the style of Edgar Allan Poe the entire time, becoming only less so as the story gets lighter. Even if it's Pinkie's point of view, it's still told as if Poe was writing it, but in this case, it's Poe writing out Pinkie's thoughts.

The difference between light and dark moods are very important, by the way; should you choose to follow the story I might take it in a direction that reveals why.

[Bellum]

Hello! This review is from Author helping Authors.
Story: Nevermore
Grammar :8
Pros: Of what I know of Po his reaction seemed quite accurate.
The switch between the grim thoughts of Po and the happier one of Pinkie is smooth and well executed.
Nice flew of sentences
Cons: I can't think of any.
Note: For some odd reason I find this refreshing. Not sure way but I like it. It may be it because it is an interesting twist of the human meeting Equestria. It help that you write the viewpoint of each character so well without mixing the two together. I hope to see the next chapter soon.

I hope the review is helpful and you enjoyed it. If you could spare some time then please take a look at my story A Choice and leave a review.
Have a wonderful day!