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MisterOneShot

Joined November 2012
26 followers

Stories (1)

  • Grayscale
    Conversion Bureau reimagining

    7,929 words · 4,720 views · 266 likes · 11 dislikes

They called it conversion. The last desperate act to save an entire sapient species from the spread an effect none could have predicted, one that threatened to slowly, painfully wipe every human from the face of the earth.

It was flawed.

A Conversion Bureau reimagining.

First Published
11th Nov 2012
Last Modified
11th Nov 2012

Comments ( 57 )

#1 · 88w, 5d ago · 4 · ·

I'm happy I found a TCB fic that doesn't potray the ponies as genocidel conquerors. Good Job!!

#2 · 88w, 5d ago · 14 · ·

We've gone through the whole TCB phase where humanity was a race of brutish monsters and pony conversion was a wondrous gift to save us from ourselves...   And then we've gone through the next big wave of stories where the ponies were the genocidal conquerers and humans struggled heroically to fight back...

And now, here's a story where both humans and ponies are assumed to be generally decent, and the only monster is the collision of worlds itself: a natural disaster that forces painful choices upon ponies and humans alike.  So yeah, I'm interested in seeing how it develops.  It's a fresh take, it seems promising.

#3 · 88w, 5d ago · 2 · ·

>>1595340 Yes it gets annoying how most TCB stories have to make one side look paragon and the other crazed evil psychos.

This is refreshing. I'm curious to see this sub-universe grow. Please write more.

#4 · 88w, 5d ago · 4 · ·

You, sir, are a genius.

#5 · 88w, 5d ago · · ·

You know, after the Season 3 première today, I thought nothing could bring my mood down. I was wrong.

After a few paragraphs, I started reading the fic out loud, character lines in falsetto included. I wanted to stop. I tried to stop. But I couldn't, even when my voice got caught and the words wouldn't come out without a ton of effort. I wasn't able to stop. Something deep inside, a part of me that I loathe right now, compelled me to go ahead.

Your writing isn't sad or dark as much as it is a combination of both - it's grim as hell. The semi-dry description of the disturbing incidents and the sheer emotional pain that the characters went through fits a real report to a T, and it really piles up on the tragedy without relief that the plot evokes. I started weeping for real when Lyra came into the scene.

Probably the worst part is, no sad music fits this fic. The only track I found that really went with the story was a depressive, darker-than-tar ambience by Anthesteria. If you know how much us Westerners are bleeding hearts compared to the Russians, you'll get what I mean.

Have a fave and a thumbs up. I'm going to bed before I have an emotional breakdown; I can't stand looking at this page anymore.

#6 · 88w, 5d ago · 2 · ·

>>1596080

Really? The man who claimed that the TCB ponies were morally inferior to the Daleks, is saying he likes a TCB story? Someone check for changelings, quick! :rainbowlaugh:

Nah, I kid.

However, I share the sentiment with you. This was very, very good.

#7 · 88w, 5d ago · 9 · ·

Now this?  This is Conversion Bureau done right.  Cheers to you, good sir.

Yog
#8 · 88w, 5d ago · · ·

This is very, very beautiful and heartbreaking. But, from outside perspective - why wasn't there any attempts at fleeing the planet, or of uploading, or of turning into dragons / diamond dogs / griphons?

#9 · 88w, 5d ago · · ·

I like this take on things. Others have said it better, so I will only mention it, the emotions run the gamut here. If you can keep up the serious emotion, you have got a winner! Let's see where you take us, hmm? This could be one wild ride!

#10 · 88w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1596113

Try Exogenesis Symphony by Muse. I'm including the lyrics here. I read the story while I was playing the album that this came from and it just blew me apart. It follows the whole path: fear, desperation and the pain of clinging to a hope everyone knows is false. For me, it was the perfect accompaniment. (Even if it is about spaceships...)

Part One:

Aping my soul

You stole my overture

Trapped in god's program

Oh I can't escape

Who are we?

Where are we?

When are we?

Who are we?

Who are we?

Where are we?

Why Why Why?

I can't forgive you

And I can't forget

Who are we?

Where are we?

When are we?

Who are we in here?

Part 2:

Rise above the crowds,

And wade through toxic clouds,

Breach the outer sphere,

The edge of all our fears,

Rest with you,

We are counting on you,

It's up to you

Spread our codes to the stars,

You must rescue us all,

Spread our codes to the stars,

You must rescue us all,

Tell us, tell us your final wish

Now we know you can never return,

Tell us, tell us your final wish

We will tell it to the world

Part 3:

Let's start over again

Why can't we start it over again?

Just let us start it over again

And we'll be good

This time we'll get it...

Get it right

It's our last chance to forgive ourselves

#11 · 88w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1596994 The story is marked as "Complete". I don't think this one is going anywhere else.

Not that it needs to...

#12 · 88w, 5d ago · 10 · ·

This is... the TCB concept done right.

#13 · 88w, 5d ago · · ·

This is great. From a standpoint of reading, the balance is very will played. Hopefully this will grow into a main archetype for the tcb verse. (Allthoughi still like my ten rounds/minutes story's once in a whinle.)

#14 · 88w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1596973

Yeah, that confused me a bit too.  "Get as many humans as possible off planet" is always my first thought if Earth, and only Earth, is doomed.

Maybe this Earth is pre-spaceflight?

Yog
#15 · 88w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1598697

Possible, but arguable. With demonstrated teleportation and teleiknesis ponies could easily bootstrap anything past, oh, nineteen forties into space colonization. You could argue that teleportation itself would kill humans who went through it, but there should be ways around it.

You could also argue that the effect would continue to spread, but, well, you could just keep running - O'Neil cylinders are totally self-sufficient like that.

Also, if you can turn people into ponies, why can't you turn them into, say, elves (human + whatever makes pony magic resistant)? Or changelings who can, you know, shapeshift. Or minotaurs, who are very much human-like already (at least physically).

Really, the author did a fantastic job, it's just that the idea of conversion bureaus doesn't really work without ponies wanting to destroy humans.

#16 · 88w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1598740>>1598697

I think the problem here is that the effect is spreading in the timescale of a few years (<10), which just isn't enough time to get an appreciable number of people off planet. At least, that's the impression I got.

So, while it's possible that some governments somewhere ARE trying to get, say, a dozen people out into space with some tools... RD probably wouldn't be thinking about it, would she? After all, this is from her point of view.

As for the dragons/griffons thing... they probably did. After all, RD specifically states that Twilight nearly killed herself trying to find a solution. They probably couldn't find a way to transform humans into any of those things, or the same memory problems arose. Again, you gotta keep in mind that you're getting this story from the point of view of a single pony, whose only real concern right now is trying to help the convertees. She wouldn't be aware of the specifics of all the stuff they tried.

Yog
#17 · 88w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1598778

I guarantee to you, that given unlimited budget and workforce, I (an engineer, but not a specialist) could make a sustainable space colony in less than ten years, with only modern technology.

We don't lack know-how (we could build full-sized O'neils as far back as nineteen eighties) , we lack economic will and necessity. It's not profitable to colonize space right now.

Plus, magic (to teleport stuff) would help immensely.

At least a couple thousand people could haev been sent up there for certain.

It's definitely doable.

#18 · 88w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1598800

Fair enough. RD never says that we didn't send anyone into space, though, and that's what I'm getting at. She might just not know, since she's not in a position to know and she's got the other 6.999999 Billion people to worry about.

Keep in mind that this tale is primarily a tragedy, as defined by the tags. We're concentrating on how RD and some of the other main characters feel about this incredibly catastrophe. How it's tearing apart the society that's trying to save humanity and failing miserably. And, more specifically, how it's tearing apart RD to basically have the job of making friends and caring about people who will soon die in one form or another.

The focus here is small, not big.

Yog
#19 · 88w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1598841

Ok, that's totally fair. As I said, author did a fantastic job.

But it would have been nice to see such things mentioned in the fanfic. The colony attempts would be highly advertised (species-wide lottery or the best of the best selected to go away and preserve the human race),as would alternative potions (minotaurs especially, and even if the mind is still lost, it would give some measure of choice, at least concerning the preferred method of death). And RB would have been right in the middle of this all, and would have been very interested in this, especially the potions.

#20 · 88w, 5d ago · 3 · ·

This a nice break from the more cliché TCB stories.It is worth noting that in the original TCB by Blaze,Celestia shamefully admits that her perception on humans was wrong and reveals that her view of humans was the result of having been contacted by a few rotten apples.

Anyone here remember these lines from the original?

"'Your mixed messages a couple years ago made me believe that all humans are evil, and now most of Equestria believes that for a fact.' Celestia lowered her guard, remembering her stupidity,"

"'Listen. We can't just go on living thinking all humans are bad.' 'Why not? I don't see the problem with that at all!' Rainbow arrogantly put in, only to be elbowed in the side by Applejack. 'I understand your sentiments, Rainbow Dash, but it simply isn't true. Humans are normally very kind people, and these two here are the prime examples of it.' Everypony looked over at Ethan and Barry, who were blushing at all of the positive attention. "

"Er, Princess," Applejack said, changing the subject, "So when ya said last year that all the humans were bein' bad, was that just a load of hooey?" "Well, yes, Applejack." Celestia replied, "The boss of the HLF had told me that, and I quote, 'the ponies have the entire human race to deal with'." She used hoof-quotes to emphasize the comment, "I mistook this as humans being 100% anti-pony, and announced this to you ponyfolk. I had learned since then that , and I apologize for any confusion."

#21 · 88w, 4d ago · · ·

Slightly morbid, but very good.

#22 · 88w, 4d ago · · ·

This was excellent! I always love seeing how writers choose to interpret the CB universe and your interpretation is, while rather depressing, among the most interesting I've seen. You managed to convey a lot of emotion in your writing. Throughout this entire fic I was filled with a deep sympathy for Rainbow Dash. Your description of the scene with Caduceus actually made me shiver! All in all, you've created an amazing fic that is well worth anyone's time and definitely deserving of a like and favorite!

#23 · 88w, 3d ago · · 2 ·

What about space travel?

This is pretty far in the future.  


Or what about nukes?

#24 · 88w, 3d ago · · ·

This is straight TCB done right!

Dark, nightmarish and utterly tragic. The parts with Cadeuceus and Pinkie Pie are utterly terrifying.

#25 · 88w, 3d ago · 2 · ·

I'm I the only one the felt no sadness reading this.

Just anger.

#26 · 88w, 3d ago · 5 · 2 ·

This...this cannot be....

A TCB fic with no insane ponies trying to drag them into extinction!

FUCKING AWESOME!!!!

FAV

#27 · 88w, 3d ago · 1 · 1 ·

>>1606949

Nah your not the only one.....I want to rage right now....

I want to let the rage dry my tears and give me something that I could handle.

I find it funny how people would choose to embrace anger or hate instead of sadness.....Makes shit easier to deal with no?

I really need to stop getting emotionally into stories.

#28 · 88w, 3d ago · 1 · 1 ·

>>1607119

Still fucking raging.

#29 · 88w, 3d ago · · ·

This is horror in the best tradition: absolutely chilling, and heartbreaking at the same time. Also a really original take on the TCB scenario. Nicely done! Now please excuse me as I go find someone, I desperately need a hug. :fluttercry:

#30 · 88w, 3d ago · · 1 ·

Holy shit so saaaaad.

#31 · 88w, 3d ago · 2 · 1 ·

FUCK that was depressing.

....

....

FUCK.

#32 · 88w, 3d ago · · ·

Well done.

#33 · 88w, 3d ago · · ·

*Stands up*

*Slow clap*

#34 · 88w, 3d ago · 2 · ·

>>1606801

It's actually unspecified as to how far in the future it is. Could be modern times, even. And how would nukes help? It's a magical field that's spreading and killing people, not a barrier or a shield. Think of it more like magical radiation that can't be shielded against. Nuking it would literally do nothing except irradiate the land.

What's more, no one knows how Equestria popped into earth, including the ponies, and they're desperately trying to help humanity survive.. to the point where they're ripping themselves apart. The tragedy here is that the one thing that might have worked turned out to be just another way of dying.

It's kind of like we got hit by the worst natural disaster imaginable, and our neighbors are trying to provide aid and getting themselves killed or traumatized in the process.

#35 · 88w, 2d ago · · ·

Start Video

Start Reading Here:

"...The pegasus closed her eyes, heaving a gusty sigh.  No point stalling any further.  She pushed herself up from her sitting position.  There were people down there, scared people, nervous people.  She could still try to help.  She wasn’t so weak that she was going to give up now, though it grew harder every single time."


(This is the best I can come up with as the closing credits.)

#36 · 87w, 5d ago · 3 · ·

This... this is TCB done right. You should be proud of yourself my friend.:twilightsmile:

#37 · 87w, 2d ago · 3 · ·

OH GOD THE FEEELS :raritydespair:

gosh darn that was depressing. Congrats on having written one of the saddest things I've ever read.

#38 · 86w, 4d ago · · ·

:pinkiesad2: that was beautiful

#39 · 83w, 3d ago · · 2 ·

The story description needs a rewrite. It was hard to understand, and needs some proofreading. It also had some typos.

They called it conversion. The last desperate act. An effort to save an entire species from the annihilation. Leaving the whole of the human race being slowly, painfully wiped out of existence.

It was flawed!     It was wrong!      It was... INHUMAN!

A Conversion Bureau reimagining.

I haven't read your story yet, but does that work? Also a picture, even a cheap one, would greatly improve the story. A picture will not only let it stand out, but give the browsing reading something to relate it too.

#40 · 83w, 3d ago · 5 · 1 ·

... I despise most TCB, tolerate few and enjoy only one.

This one, this is gold!

Comment posted by Thestrangecaseofpaul deleted at 7:47pm on the 18th of December, 2012
#42 · 81w, 1h ago · · ·

This hit me right in the feels man

#43 · 72w, 6d ago · 2 · ·

Sigh, right now I could get on my knees and BEG you to put a hope spot right at the end.

#44 · 72w, 4d ago · 8 · 1 ·

I must say, well done.  I rank this among the top TCB story I have come across.

DF
#45 · 68w, 5d ago · · ·

Oh wow. Oh god. This... damn it, I'm tearing up. I don't know what to say. Thank you for writing this.

#46 · 64w, 6d ago · 10 · ·

Nicely done. You managed to write the cliche'd "ponification is brainwashing" concept and still keep everyone's hands/hooves clean. Sorta.

Ponies "at fault", and humans not kill-bash-stomping their way through their ranks like I'm so accustomed to seeing and loathing in any story that sits in the HAB or ACB groups. A nice change, 10/10, would read again.

#47 · 63w, 4d ago · 8 · ·

This is exactly what I have wanted from the TCB premise, a fic where the ponies aren't evil, and Conversion is a desperate attempt to help save humanity that went tragically wrong.

Excellently written as well. I cried.

10/10

#48 · 60w, 3d ago · · ·

This is without a doubt the best interpretation of the TCB universe that I have seen. If it wasn't for the gory part this would be my favorite fic on the site!

#49 · 60w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

See, this is how I would like most CB stories to be like. Just not pulling any punches on just how crushing the setting is for both parties.

If I ever wanted to write one of these stories, I'd want it to be like this and not those other stories. Good job.

#50 · 58w, 1d ago · 2 · ·

My soul has shattered into a thousand pieces, each of them crying and bawling out for mom. That is how this story made me feel. Just... jesus, i need some god damn tissues. :fluttercry:

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