Octavia's Accident

by Jeta

Chapter 1

"Alright, I hope everypony had a good time!" Shouted the DJ. "Be here the same time tonight!"
It was already four in the morning, and Vinyl Scratch usually got to bed at three. Luckily, she had on her shades, so nopony could see the tiredness that had crept into her eyes over the past hour.
Her friend, which everypony called M.C., had called her from backstage.
"Hey, Scratch." M.C. said, his voice raspy from controlling the microphone all night.
"Hey, M.C." She replied, mimicking his voice, "What can I do for ya?"
"Nothing," M.C. answered, still having not worked up the courage to ask Vinyl Scratch out, "It’s crazy being out there all night. Tough too. I don't know how you do it, Scratch."
"A lot of coffee." She chuckled, "I'm actually pretty tired, so I'm gonna head home."
"Later, Scratch"
"See ya tonight, M.C."
And with that they both went home in separate directions.
...
On her way home, Vinyl Scratch heard the usual uncomforting silence as always, only this time, it was different. It seemed almost peaceful. She continued walking until she heard a sound from ahead.
It was the most beautiful sound that had ever entered her ears. She walked towards the source of the sound, and looked up to see a grey mare playing the cello. Vinyl Scratch sat on the fire escape and waited, and continued listening for another hour, until she could see the sunlight just over the tops of the buildings. She then trotted home to get some sleep.
...
Vinyl Scratch repeated this for the next three weeks, until she decided to comment on the mare's playing.
"Excuse me?"
The mare looked over the edge of the wooden balcony, which creaked. "Yes?"
"I just want to say that-" the balcony creaked loudly as Vinyl Scratch talked "-that I have listened to you practicing every morning for the past three weeks, and it is possibly the most beautiful sound I have ever heard."
"Thank you, miss. I-" A loud crack from the balcony and suddenly the entire thing fell from the wall it was mounted on.
The cellist fell with her cello and the entire balcony onto her head.
Vinyl Scratch had no idea what happened. "Okay, keep calm... what do I do? High School... that class... Pulse..."
Vinyl pressed her hoof gently against the grey mare's neck. She felt a very weak beat, which was slowing. She opened the cellist's eyes and lit up her horn. There was no constriction in the pupil.
She checked her pulse again, which was not there.
The placed her hooves on the left side of the mare's chest and began to press hard and repeatedly.
"Come on..." She gasped in, placed her mouth over the cellist's muzzle, and breathed out.
The mare gasped and Vinyl Scratch felt her heart start beating again, but faintly.
"Um... Stay here." Vinyl said to the unconscious mare.
...
"I need a doctor!" Vinyl Scratch shouted as she burst through the hospital. "Please! There's been an accident!"
"What happened, Miss...?" The doctor asked.
"Vinyl Scratch. Somepony fell off her balcony and I think she has a concussion and had to give her CPR."
"Where is she?" The doctor asked as he ran out the door, followed by Vinyl Scratch.
"Over this way." And she lead him toward where she left the musician.
...
One week later
...
Vinyl Scratch walked into the room of the cellist, the doctor had said her name was Octavia, as she did every day and sat next to her bed, waiting for something to happen. She looked at Octavia's left foreleg, which had been broken badly, and had needed surgery.
Suddenly, the monitor that was sitting next to Octavia's bed started beeping slightly faster, and she moved, her eyes starting to flutter open.
"Where am I?" Octavia asked.
"You're at the Manehattan Hospital." Vinyl Scratch answered, and poked her head out of the door. "Um, Doc? She's awake."
The doctor started walking towards the door, and Vinyl Scratch went back into the room.
"I... I can't remember... What happened?" Octavia asked.
"You fell off of your balcony. You landed on your head."
Octavia looked down sadly, as a child would. "Oh..." She glanced at Vinyl Scratch's flank. "Oh, look! Our cutie marks are both about music!" Octavia moved the sheet to show Vinyl her cutie mark.
/Why is she acting so childish?/ "Yeah, that’s pretty cool." Vinyl Scratch commented, as the doctor walked in. "How did you get that?"
"When I learned to play my cello it appeared there." She answered, "How did you get yours?"
"I'm a DJ. I play music at parties." Vinyl Scratch answered.
"Miss Scratch... I need to have a word with you." The doctor said.
"Alright." She said. "Ill be right back, Octavia."
Vinyl Scratch followed the doctor out into the hall.
"What’s wrong, Doc?" Vinyl asked.
"Well, considering you're the closest pony to Miss Octavia, we believe we should tell you that she has severe brain damage." The doctor said. "She has Dependent Personality Disorder, so she will act like a filly. She also has amnesia."
"Alright, doc," Vinyl Scratch said calmly. "How will I need to take care of her?"
"I'm sorry, Miss-"
"No. I'm going to take care of her for as long as it takes to get her back on her hooves." Vinyl Scratch then turned and walked back into the hospital room. "Hey, Octavia, when you get out of here, you're coming with me. Is that okay with you?"
"Yeah. I think you're cool." Octavia stated.
"We'll see, 'Tavi. Can I call you that?" Vinyl asked kindly.
"Yeah." Octavia answered.
"We'll also need to get her some medication to lessen the symptoms of her DPD." The doctor whispered.
"I don't think that should be a problem. Just tell me when and where to get it." Vinyl replied.
"No problem." The doctor said.
"When can I check her out of the hospital?" Vinyl asked.
"We'll keep her for a day to make sure she is stable, and you can check her out tomorrow."
"Sounds great."

Comments

[Jeta]

I know nothing of medecine and very little of psychological disorders. Don't tell me what DPD literally means, Its just the closest thing I could find.

[The Princess Rarity]

... Seems a bit rushed. Though, the concept of the story is great.

[JMACOB]

1569316
This is what google is for ;)

And Vinyl and Tavi? Insta fave!

[kamikal]

1572179

Go away.

Anyway, this is certainly interesting. But as Princess Rarity said, a bit rushed. Looking forward to the next chapter, I guess

[TeXXy]

it., um, it is good... yeah.

[Silvernis]

Interesting concept, but I agree that it feels rushed and underdeveloped. Sloppy writing can kill a good story.

[monster cai]

Well, im looking forward to this being updated. (and hopefully shipping)

[iloveportalz0r]

Will read later //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Vinyl_Scratch_lolface.png

[JMACOB]

Now that I've had a read, you could have put another week into it. The characters are hardly developed. There is really no scene involved. Was Tavi only like a 20 second walk away from the hospital and that's why there wasn't a rush to get to her place? The club was rushed to all hell and no description was provided about any of the settings. Even the hospital room where there would have been IV cords, needles, big whirring machines, there was none of that.
If you need a hand for anything in future writings, send me a message if you want a hand on proof reading, tweaks etc... Sorry if I sound like a bad person, but I see so much potential in this story and all you need is description and characters that you can understand what they're doing.

Very good nonetheless and I hope to see more.

[Jeta]

Thanks a lot for the constructive criticism, guys! I'm just a amateur writer. Still a freshman in high school, so my grammar is off, but anyway...
1571950 I do agree that it's rushed. Ill work on it later, but honestly, it was. I woke up from a dead sleep and needed to get a idea off my head.
1572868 yeah... I know. I re-read it and figured Need to rewrite the whole story...
1573366 Sorry, bro! I'm not really a 'shipping' sorta guy.
1582770 THANK YOU, YOU ARE AMAZING. Setting is one of my main problems when I write. I will definately heed your words.
1572571 Come on, Texxy, what do you really think?

Like I said. All of you helped a LOT!
Another problem of mine is that I write these on a note-taking software on my nook. So... yeah. You should, or should I say shouldn't, read my first fanfic. It was when I was into shipping... Possibly my worst work yet.
Anyway, I will continue this, tweak it a little, and don't forget to check out the base of this story "Heart of Vinyl"
Thanks, all!

[Jeta]

Aagh! I forgot to mention, I usually offer suggestions to my favorite authors... I even suggested something to Christopher Paolini once. Anyway, like I was saying, please feel free to PM me if you have any suggestions!
Thanks, all!

[JMACOB]

1586727

I once sent in all the spelling errors in his Eragon book series and I got a thank you note back from him or his agent or something
Happy to help!

[Jeta]

My friends, brothers and sisters! I have a quest for you! If any of you are artists, maybe you could help me with something. I need a drawing of MC. In 'Heart Of Vinyl' he's gonna be more of a big character. So, if you wait for the next chapter or two of HOV, then you'll get details about him and stuff. I know this Is a big request, and I can't do much for you, but I can mention your name/OC in the story. Think about it!
Thanks!
~Jeta~