(Hiatus is over and I have begun working on this again)
(Picture is mostly unrelated until I can get a better one)
(I will also point out that, to me, the second chapter seems a little... I don't really know, just off. Constructive criticism would be nice.)
Riley Compton is a private investigator who is chosen by a scientist to test his SPES (Subconscious Projectal Examination System) which allows a user to examine a subject's subconscious directly through the form of projections.
There's a huge robbery at a local advertisement agency that Riley heads off to investigate. However, he soon realizes that robbery is the least of his concerns...
Chapters (2)
Huh.
Seems like a neat idea for a story, good introduction. Tracking.
This does have great potential. There's a whole variety of ways it could fall out, too. Wonderful idea.
Just one piece of advice: Have one of your beta readers or editors work out the homonyms (waist/waste, peak/peek) and it'll look even better.
2528
Oh. Sorry, I guess my proofreaders aren't as dependable as I thought. I better go fix it myself.
I'll be looking forward to more, although I cannot track the story since I'm under developing 2 stories of mine, I'll be sure to drop by and check up on it ever so often
(goes into my Favorite's Tab)
♫♥I look forward to reading what happens next in your story♥♪
lol love it
Not to criticize, but you might should consider re-naming it. I know another story called "Through the Eyes of Another Pony", and sure, these two are quite different in the storyline, I just wanted to give you a heads up.
Sounds like Paprika to me!
99222
Thanks for the advice, the name's tentative, and I'll probably change it.
102599
Hmmm...Interesting story...