Jesus was bored, it was due to this boredom that he decided to find a house. He quickly surveyed the town before deciding that Rarity would be the easiest to take advantage of. So he walked up to her door and politely ripped it off of its hinges, then he threw it at pip. He ran up to Rarity while brandishing two shotguns.
"What's the best brand of root beer," Jesus asked.
"Bargs," replied Rarity.
Jesus fired both shotguns at the same time and blasted Rarity's head clean off.
Before he knew it Jesus was on another cross surrounded by angry ponies.
"Mug is best root beer," Jesus said, then he died. They all fucked.
The end.
The comments? [](/priceless)
THAT WAS SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL.
1583488 Too bad it's over.
1583526 It was all worth it.
1583570 I'll probably write a new one that follows the story of ultra satan.
1583720 No, do one about Ghandi!
1583847 I thought you were doing the one about ghandi.
1583886 Nah, I'll stick to things like Bulgarian pig beastiality.
1583905 Fine.
Coming this fall.
Oh Jesus 2: Ghandi's Boogaloo
Rated R for really canon.
1583967 Oh my.
1583972 But I have to finish Whatever man, and write The Terminal Adventures of Doctor Cancer, and Spike's Granny Smith( I promise this is a parody.)
1584003 I want that parody so bad.
1584035 Believe me, sex scenes.
1584042 Oh yes.
1584045 Of course, old ladies can take out their teeth when they give a BJ.
. . . Seriously?
1593677 I imagine you're stunned by the pure genius.
This deserves an oscar for for many people couldn't fgure out it was a trollfic
1627186 OKAY NOW IMA WRITE A STORY OF A SENTIAN UMRELLA WITH BOOTS FOR EYES THAT EJACKULATE GAK!!!
1627199 Stop stealing my ideas.
And thus the greatest fanfic ever was born.
1462791
YOU MEAN JESUS
JESUS IS YOUR LORD
JESUSJESUSJESUS
JEEEESUUUUSSSS
JESUS IS YOUR LORD
YOUR LORD IS JESUS
Other than that, we now have Exhibit R of Nunchucks being awesome.
Also, the idea of Jesus cuddling and scratching Fluttershy is heartwarming to me.
1743327 It's not a very fitting picture, he punches her in the mouth.
1743350
Not before screaming random words.
1743362 What can I say? Nonsense words are funny to me.
1743375 I'd tell you to stop reading, but then you'd be sad.
1743391 Bitch, I am happiness.
1743414 What quote? I never quote things, I reinvent them.
1743404 Well I'm Jeff Conada.
1743427 And I was a very sheltered child.
1743421 From Momma Jesus.
1743439 With clowns cloaking water circuses. If I'm not mistaken.
1584051 Damn you! This.... I am so tempted to read it! I'm a Christian, but I thing jokes against Christians are the best kind. Is that wrong? Seriously tho, fics like this.... I want more of them (provided that they are well written.) I may read it later.
1747039 It's super offensive.
1747123 K. I still may read it. But I won't downvote if it's too offensive because you warned me.
It's pretty hard to troll someone when people already know you are a troll. Oh well, since I am here...
> Reads story anyway.
Well, you tried so hard to be offensive... that it just went non offensive. Don't ask me how it works.
images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110609170203/gyropedia/images/thumb/9/90/TwilightShrug.png/413px-TwilightShrug.png
Well... the ending did make me laugh. And I have a personal rule that if a story with a comedy tag makes me laugh, I upvote it. So... have a upvote?
This story changed my life.
1870916 For the better of course
1627550 Theives are terrible people.
1593827 I know I am.
1584051 That sounds so hot.
I'm gonna look in the bible and ask my religion teacher about this story, and if I don't find out anything about the trueness of this story, then I'll burn a city down.
I can't read page five. I NEED MORE TROLLING!