Before we begin I'd like to let you know that this story is completely canon and there's nothing you can do about it. It takes place between seasons two and three.
_____________________________
" What are you,"Pinkie asked.
"Ok, well I wanted to inform you. Also, Ashley went home sick, and im gonna bring you something after school," Jesus replied.
" Is it racist bulldogs?"
"Is a racist badger good enough? If not, ill get you the bulldogs for christmas."
"I don't know, badgers tend to be allergic to cellophane, and I like 3D movies."
Jesus stood there, stunned by Pinkie's quick thinking. If he didn't think of something, Pinkie was going to win.
I'll just have to step up my game,Jesus thought to himself.
"Dont forget though bacon pumas can breath on the moon and the average black man uses a rock to fish," Jesus said.
"Yes but once you pour liquid cucumber skins into a hippos mouth, you've truly seen the face of god, and speaking of hippos, you must remember all new yorkers after take-off must jump through the halo of a jalapeño."
Jesus felt as though he was being struck by lightning. In his entire life he'd never met a being so powerful. He felt himself losing consciousness.
"You have defeated me, Pink warrior," he said just before he collapsed.
Unbeknownst to the entire populous of Eqeustria, a dark evil was looming over them. Eager to take advantage of the fact that Jesus was no longer under god's visage. It was the devil's father Ultra Satan! He decided to infiltrate the small town of Ponyville by disguising himself in the best way possible. After checking the Internet he decided to take the form of a red and black alicorn, after all, according to the Internet they were not only very common, but also really badass and cool, with more power than the princesses themselves. He turned to see a pony trotting toward him, probably to be his friend, after all everybody loves red and black Alicorns.
"Hey there mister, what's your name," the small pony asked.
Deciding that Ultra Satan probably wasn't the best thing to say he quickly came up with a totally badass name that was dark and mysterious.
"It's Cursed Shadow."
1483887
*You're
I don't even ╚(•⌂•)╝
Is your goal to fuck peoples mind more than Doctor Who, if so you did it! ლ(ಠ_ಠლ)
1484559
I thank you kind person.
1484849 What type of fic is this? ಠ_ಠ
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw6281-twilighttrolling.jpg
1485537
1479361
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1484944
The best kind.
1485537
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GOD DAMN NUNCHUCKS YOU FUCKING GENIUS
1508837 Thank you. That was enthusiastic...
1508841 Cerealsly though, I laughed so much more then I feel comfortable doing.
1508843
Sorry I made you feel uncomfortable.
1508851 Nah, I'm going to hell anyway.
ALSO
polyvore.com/cgi/img-thing?.out=jpg&size=l&tid=21652468
1508853
Whoa dude. Lets take this one step at a time.
1508881 Dinner and a movie first?
1508895
K, What movie?
1508900 How about "Land Before Time VII: Stone of Cold Fire"?
It's fucking epic.
1508904
I was actually thinking Birdemic: Shock and Terror, but that sounds good.
1508910 AND THEN THEY FUCKED
THE END
1508918
I don't put out on the first date. Clearly it was a changeling.
1508947
images.wikia.com/theamazingworldofgumball/images/6/6e/Well-were-fucked-thumb.jpg.png
LITERALLY
1508951
no.
Jesus, you seriously COULDN'T think of "Don't forget that pandas are very useful for eating flying stripes for your red butterflies not firing."? You suck at the Cloudcuckoo game.
1743391
Nope, that's a double fault.
This story is proof that Jesus loves us. And red and black alicorns are best pony
If you opened up a box labeled OC'S one million jillion black and red ponies who pop out