Applejack lives under the sword of Damocles. Her family, her friendships, and her happy life in Ponyville would come crashing down if anypony ever asked her one simple question: "Are you an alicorn?"
Written in one sitting on a whim while dealing with a bit of writer's block on chapter four of Order Up.
Mostly, after reading lots of "Twilight Sparkle is an alicorn" fics, I wanted to write a story for the one member of the Mane Six least likely to be an alicorn.
It would be Applejack. After all, she's the last one you'd expect...
Well done and I'll forgive the non-canon inclusion of another alicorn simply because it's well written.
Can anyone else say, featured?
You posted it has complete. But leave it as a cliff hanger and explain so little. please tell me there's going to be more?
I was talking about the lack of applejack-alicorn fics in the chat yesterday. Wow. Time to read.
Oh, my, the implications... the questions... instafave.
>>14562321456232 Is that a regular topic?
No i just brought it up because of "Ascend." I had never sen a Alijack fic.
Anyways, very good. I want more!
After I instafaved and liked
Applecorn x Rainbow Dash?
Only on FimFic. Feels a bit short though.
Only Applejack would feel ashamed of being an alicorn and want to hide it. A great one shot, but hopefully there'll be more!
Wait, you just oneshot this? Argh! It needs MORE!
make sequel now!!!!!
.Most of the time I'm completely fine with a one-shot being a one-shot. I'm one of those guys who likes to let the author do what he wants with a story, and I don't usually push them for anything more, but you absolutely should (my polite way of saying must.) continue this. It doesn't have to be very long, 1,000 or 2,000 or even 20,000 if you want it is fine, but please, if you ever feel like adding more, add more.
*in the voice and expression of one of the seagulls from Finding Nemo Moar...? *stares deep into author's soul?*
There needs to be one...buck one shots, more chapters or sequel for when you get another writers block!
I was willing to let that story sit 'complete' - just being an examination of what Applejack would be like as an alicorn - but you all asked for more! So here - I'm setting this story as 'incomplete'.
I've got no structure, no plot, no plan for the story, and no idea what's coming up. Let's see how far Applejack's wings can take us!
Applebloom's mother eh? So, how was Applebloom born? The usual way or a magic way? Or simple parthenogenesis? The last ones plausible cuz AB's a filly (coat and mane color notwithstanding).
Now, to the point, you have an awesome setup here there's literally any path that could be taken from here on out. She'll eventually be outed as all secrets do come to bare. From there, sky's the limit on where this could go, could be ADASH, or not, then the whole issue of royalty: adjustment, duties, fame, ruling, power, paperwork, cake etc. Reactions of the nobility a focus on specific sections of nobility, reactions of the public, feelings of the current princesses etc.
The only time I've seen (...read) Applejack as an alicorn is if the rest of the mane 6 are alicorns as well or if others are able to gain the stick and feathers. This could potentially spawn a whole new separate genre of alicorn fic (current ones most prominently being TS, RD...Pinkie and Fluttershy to a lesser extent may have seen one other but they're a Rarity) all focused upon the hardest worker herself. Bravo good sir/madam I will continue following this fic to whatever conclusion (if there's one) that you bring us. Cheers!
Angel Bunny. Uh oh, Hot Dog!
There is nothing in this story so far to suggest that alicorns are sterile or can't cross-breed with ordinary ponies. All that Granny's exposition proves is that alicorns appear spontaneously from other pony tribes rather than breeding true amongst themselves. So, there is no reason why Applejack could not have chosen an Earth Pony mate and borne a daughter (I wonder who he was...?). What it might mean for Applebloom is that she's going to be stronger than most Earth Ponies and might have special abilities like wood-shaping or nature empathy that gives her a 'green hoof' when it comes to plant care. It also means that little Applebloom is a princess, probably more of a princess than Blueblood could ever imagine, ennobled by right of her mother's divine blood.
I wonder if Applejack's cutie mark is a glamour too? I would have thought that the Alicorn of Nature would have a more generic nature-themed cutie mark like a tree or something similar to the Earth Pony flag from Hearth Warming Night.
It should be interesting to see how Fluttershy reacts to Angel Bunny's intelligence. She'd possibly be too polite to do anything (she'd respect AJ's need to hide - she would under the same circumstances). However, Angel often is more determined to protect Fluttershy's best interests than she is willing to herself. I wonder if he will think he has to act on her behalf in this matter and what form that action might take?
I'm enjoying this, I have to admit. It's well written, it's well-paced and it's dealing with an idea I've just not seen here before.
The only problem I have is that it clashes with Applejack's story of how she got her cutie mark, but it's possible she adapted her tale. Or perhaps she was just a really late bloomer?
And... and! The intrigue, the political side. I always love stories that go into that sort of detail and play around with the organs of state and the nobility and such. But how common are alicorns now? We've seen four on screen- the princesses are obvious - and the filly in Twilight's anguished fantasy about being sent back to Magical Kindergarten would indicate that she at least believes they're common enough for one to just be there, unremarked.
To come clean... I'm only about a quarter of the way through the show proper. I don't have television, so it's catch-as-catch-can for me on Netflix or DVDs I'm able to pick up. If I make any major errors against canon, that's the reason and I'll fix them (as much as possible) as I catch them.
But then again, if I make any big errors, I can always claim a wizard did it. The loyalist, most dependable wizard you ever did meet...
>>14675961467596 Or just stick to my own excuse - canon is there to be ignored. After all the writers on the show ignore their own canon all the time, who are we to question that?
I wanna see how celestia and luna react to this!
I'm loving this so far. Please keep it going! Applebloom will cry if you don't continue it.
Or you could use the in-story excuse: Granny Smith has reminded Applejack how keeping her secret has turned to telling lie after lie after lie. Why shouldn't that story be a lie too? After a while, hiding the truth becomes a habit and becomes easier than telling the truth.
like it's been said this can still go in so many directions, but I'm going to make some predictions.
if Applebloom is A.J.'s daughter and granny smith is her sister, then I'd wager Big Mac is Applebloom's father and A.J.'s husband. boy wouldn't that surprise Dash
I can see A.J. going to Celestia after her secret is out "so you were able to hide for over a century. Wow you almost beat Luna's and mine record"
One question: This story has a 'romance' tag but, as of yet, AJ is the only tagged character. If there is going to be a romance, you'll have to identify the significant other soon. I can't blame you for wanting to keep it secret (not put the other on the character list until they are revealed).
The alternative option, of course, is a very strange sort of romance indeed. For, just as Celestia and the Sun are one and lovers as are Luna and the Moon, could Applejack and nature have a similar relationship? That is certainly implied by the closing scene of chapter 2. The connection that AJ has with the very living Earth is something very close to romance.
At the time, romance seemed likely. But to be honest, I really don't have any plan, and I'm not as sure it'll play a part in what's coming out. I might have to add the Dark or Tragedy tags sometime soon - we'll see as the plot develops.
I hope you don't need grimdark warnings. You've got such an interesting premise and the characters are developing well, I'd be sad if the hope got trampled.
The ploy thickens. Most interesting.
So, Applejack thinks Luna is playing games with her head? This could be ugly, the last time two alicorns got into a fight, the fall-out was so intense that the result was the Everfree Forest, with all its unnaturalness.
I can't blame Applejack for her hesitancy with Applebloom. How can you tell your own daughter that you have lied to her for her entire conscious existence? How can you tell her that you are her mother after all and the stallion she thought was her brother was actually her great-nephew? How can you explain to Applebloom that she is a princess, with the blood of a goddess running through her veins? All I can say is this: there is no possible good outcome; all Applejack can do is limit further harm by making a clean breast of it as soon as possible. Maybe, one day, Applebloom will understand why her mother was afraid and why she felt that she had to lie.
>>15434771543477 The plot thickens? This thing suddenly get labeled clop? *ba dum tish!*
>>15434871543487 how did you get plot thickening to clop....nevermind. i think i may have figured out. dirty man
>>15434861543486 a clean breast of it? Did you mean break? XD Starting to wonder about my 'Did this thing get labeled clop' joke... :P
>>15435131543513 hehehehe. But i didn't mean it like that. It was just an unexpected plot twist.
>>15435311543531 a plot TWIST?
"A clean breast of it" is a British metaphor for revealing everything you had hidden. Its literal meaning is "a full confession".
>>15436181543618 Oh. Whoops. @_@ Forgive me, British metaphors are, admittedly, lost on me.
Writing without a plan has been fun, so far. I have an idea where this story is going now - but this chapter surprised me where it went as I finished it.
Ah, poor Rainbow Dash! So easily is the heart broken!
Something tells me that, when the truth finally comes out, Applejack is going to have to soothe a lot of very hurt feelings from a lot of friends who she has betrayed (there is no way to skip around that fact).
It's always good to see more from this story. It is pretty unique so far in its treatment of the idea.
I've got a special place for Appljack Alicorn in my heart.
This one is going well.
Applejack and Luna
I hope something comes of that, Please
she already flies under a heavy enough load from her daughter.
Fluttershy has a daughter?! or did I read that wrong?
In order from the story;
--Derpy (the one you were trying to guess)
Correct me if I'm wrong dear author.
--Twilight Sparkle (of course)
-- You could right about that one...maybe
--Pipsqueak (ya, ya)
--Applejack (I'm sure she is mentioning AJ here as she continues with the whole House of her own here)
The last one could be AJ I guess, though as I think on it more, it doesn't sound right.
AJ is an apple, and the apple family is F***ING HUGE, as in Luna was looking for ponies who's families really only extended to their own parents, and children.
Pinkie Pie on the other hand does have parents and siblings, but no children of her own. Heck, past the Cutie Mark Chronicles episode, we don't see her family. But it more or less seems like she's being accepted into the Cake's family. Also, and I quote; "And the earth mare, whose smile can make anyone feel like they are part of her family...". If that doesn't sound like Pinkie, I don't know what does.
Pinkie does have smiles, but on a whole different level than home-style, family-friendly. To take a quote directly from the excerpt,
'And the earth mare, whose smile can make anyone feel like they are part of her family, like they have come home..." Luna's voice was almost a croak. "... it now seems she has her own House to tend to. And her own family to help her.'
Sounds like AJ to me.
One last try at this, and then I'll shut up. We've both quoted the same line to back up our arguments. Though I only quoted the first half of what you quoted. Now I'm going to explain out the other half then.
"... it now seems she has her own House to tend to."
Emphasis on now, as in, said mare didn't already have a house to belong to. As I said before, AJ belongs to house apple, which again, is huge. Yes there is a 'Pie' family, but not known to be large enough to be considered a 'house'.
Anyway, we've both riddled this out, to death. Now we just wait until we get to a part that explains just which ponies Luna was talking about, or the author just tells us in a comment.
Keep calm and pony on.
Luna was deliberately not being explicit, but it will become clear later. Although one romance will be a side story of its own, maybe...
W-why didn't I get the favorite notification... Wait its not liked....
(PLEASE CONTINUE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED MORE!)
One problem, Applejack was a normal Earth pony when Luna kissed her.
And Rainbow dash saw a Alicorn kissing a Alicorn?
Since when did Applejack switch back?
Since Sparkler can't edit worth a darn. Give me a chance to fix that. @_@
>>17103901710390 Great story. Applejack is my favorite pony.
Well, I'll admit I'm not big on RainbowJack shipping, but I can forgive and live through it for the sake of the interesting premise.
And the mystery deepens!
Pretty good so far!
>>18230321823032 You triple commented
Dunno if you were paying attention, but the comments were on different chapters. I wrote those as I was going through.
>>18230881823088 We all know I don't pay attention to details.
P.S. Change your ; to , welcome.
Or a . works too.
And it hurts if I go too long in this guise.
Reality wobbled a bit when I saw the bit about Granny Smith being the younger sister-- And then it reached the bit about Applebloom and my brain EXPLODED.
I love Applejack-alicorn stories, so glad I bumped into this one!
This is one of the more interesting stories I've seen on the site, I adore the idea of Applejack secretly being an Alicorn.
That said, I don't much like the idea of there being that many Alicorns, the exclusivity is what makes them so very interesting.
Some of the characters are slightly off aswell, but not enough to really be a bother.
All in all, A story I'm interested in seeing continue.
Keep in mind I had started this as a random idea when I had watched about ... six episodes. c.c Any bits of the characterization strikingly out of joint?
Applejack is a little more easily scared and angered but you've altered her so that makes sense, The rest could all use a somewhat bigger role but have no real outliers.
The only ones that I would really like to see an update to are the alicorns, or rather: why so many?
We've since learned that Luna is in fact ruler of the dream realm, and like I said before: the fewer there are, the more special it is.
I'd love to see you continue with this though. Very unique.
Great story so far. All you need to do now is continue it. Please?
It won't be too long. This next chapter is already the largest thing I've ever written that wasn't for Nanowrimo, a paycheck, or a degree.
Awesome. For that news; you shall have all the Apples!
I'm glad the chapter came to a close nicely, because to be honest I was confused for most of the way through.
Yay! an Update. Interesting look into Luna's thought processes also.
It was a fun experiment, but with all the rewrites and reworks it took, it will be a long time before I write another chapter of a story with a long dream sequence, much less every main character's dreams at once.
Is there any part that particularly needs clearing up?
I knew Applejack was the one with the House from long ago!
Uh oh, Tia's upset.
>>21040272104027 It's called Obfuscating Stupidity.
The older stallion's heavy muzzle insistently nudged into her side."Go to sleep, AJ. There will be oatmeal in the morning.""But I still have to clean up after this mess-"Big Mac looked at her, stern. He was almost a fifth her age, so she had no idea how he could so effortlessly stare her down.
"Go to sleep, AJ. There will be oatmeal in the morning."
"But I still have to clean up after this mess-"
Big Mac looked at her, stern. He was almost a fifth her age, so she had no idea how he could so effortlessly stare her down.
Also... <3 overprotective big-sister Celestia. Better not pull that "Luna comes in and tells Celestia off" business. Sometimes an older sibling needs to do what they need to do. But in every story you see they always get treated like the bad guy for it by the person they're being protective of. xP
Does want moar. I mean, wow! Over the last couple of days I've found a bunch of 5 chapter stories that are just absolutely amazing - and now I have to wait on all of them. Hehe. The anticipation hurts sooo good.
In all seriousness, however, I thoroughly enjoyed reading these five chapters, and I eagerly await what more you have to share. Of course, I hope you take your time and have fun with it; which is how all writing should be. Insta' fave and like.
Ooh boy, a love triangle fueled by misunderstandings and a comical web of lies. Things that will end well: not this.
>>25105772510577 It seems to be more of a love klein bottle...
Well I thorooughly enjoyed this, I have to say. The portrayal of Luna was different enough from te usual fare to make her stand out; the exploration of the dreamworld and the expansion of how it potentially caused Luna's fall were both very interesting. In fact you seem to have travelled over and tied together a lot of different threads in a nice, neatly stitched package in that particular sequence.
Why not invite Dinky to the ball as well? Maybe bring Carrot Top along to look after her while Derpy is there with Luna?
"I DEMAND YOUR LARGEST TUB OF CHOCOLATE CONCRETE!" Luna groused, as she slid into her usual seat. "AND MAY THE COOKIES BE DOUBLED!"
The best Luna quote ever... of all time.
I think that Applejack is in for two very difficult conversations, one asleep and one awake. Firstly, she's going to have to deal with her shock that Luna fancies her. "She what?!?" is the most likely thing she's going to say to Celestia after she finally works out why Luna was crying. The waking conversation with Applebloom is going to be the most difficult conversation she has ever had with anypony. However, the pain she is going to experience is entirely of her own making and must be borne if there is ever to be any healing. It may be some time before Applebloom consents to be anything but a parody of a daughter (assuming she doesn't initially try to run away to "find her real mother"). It will work out after a long time but the sickness will be long and difficult to bear.
I genuinely feel for Rainbow Dash. How can one compete with the immortal Goddess of the Night? Of course, when she finds out that the Golden Alicorn is AJ, that might change things. Familiarity breeds embarrassment when it comes to crushes!
I think the idea of an alicorn, bucking the nobility and doing what is right just for herself will be... healthy.of an alicorn, bucking the nobility and doing whatbucking the nobility
of an alicorn, bucking the nobility and doing what
bucking the nobility
.... OH MY
"Applejack... I'd like to understand why you made my sister cry."
THOUSAND YEARS MOON!
I didn't learn anything, because all I did was learn I had not learned something to learn. So that's what I wrote! I hadn't learned but I learned what I hadn't learned so I wrote I had to learn what I hadn't learned
nice story, you have me hooked
i want moar this story is just so nice to read
cliffhanger....was a good read and now it's time for me to catch some sleep
This is amazing!
I'm so very glad I found this, and I eagerly await more.
Crazy love triangles are crazy
So i somehow found this while trying to get the page to load due to bad internet connection. Probably one of the best random instances ever!
Is Celestia about to go ape-shit on Applejack in her dream?
Oooooohhhhhhhohohohohohohohohohohohoho, that's one fight I would throw money at my screen for!
"but a lover's kiss - and Applejack's first."
Wait a second. Isn't AJ Applebloom's mom in this fic? If so, did her and AB's dad never kiss or something?
I'm getting seriously confused about what is reality and what is not.
Oh well, I guess that's what you get for writing about dream magic
Sparkler is best editor. I'll fix that in the next editing pass.