Day One, Continued
Macintosh sat under a tree on a hill that allowed him to keep an eye on Twilight and Applejack. He munched on an apple as he waited for them to finish lunch so he could go surprise Twilight.
"Thou art a creeper," said a voice behind him.
Macintosh jumped to his feet as a voice behind him spooked him for the second time that day.
He whirled around to look into the eyes of Princess Luna.
"Uh, hello, your highness," he stammered out.
"And a hello to you Big Macintosh. Now what is a handsome stallion like you doing alone on a day like this?" she asked suggestively.
"Ah, I see. Spying are we? Now who are you watching? She let out a 'dramatic' gasp. "Your sister and Twilight?"
Macintosh opened his mouth to explain but Luna beat him to it.
"Not to worry, Big Mac. I'm here to help and I already know all there is about you and Twilight Sparkle," she said while he turned a couple shades redder.
"I'm just here to see if you are worthy of her affections," she said.
"Since Princess Cadence is out on royal business, fortunately for you Shining Armor is with her, I cannot have her just peer in your feelings," she studied his face.
He looked back stubbornly, daring her to question his loyalty. "Well?" he asked.
She gazed for a few more seconds, "Give me your saddle bags."
He wordlessly handed them to her and belatedly remembered what was in one of the bags. Luna levitated a few of his apples out and placed them aside. She pulled out his canteen and opened it, giving it a whiff.
"Mm, apple cider," she placed it aside and opened the other bag. The goddess pulled out Twilight present and peeped inside.
"Awwww!" the Princess cried, "Sooo Cute!!!" Macintosh's pelt turned several shades darker. She turned serious and pulled out the box he feared.
"Oh, well, well, well. You certainly are a adventures stallion," she said while waggling your eyebrows. Turning crimson, he snatched all his possessions away from her and stuffed them back in his bags.
"Well, I guess you are what Twilight deserves and more," she started to walk away.
She looked back, "I hope you just stay that way for your sake."
He involuntarily shuddered from being threatened, even if subtly, by a goddess. Shit, he thought, anything she does will be backed up by Celestia.
A burst of activity at the café attracted him back and his gaze came across just in time to see his mare streak off as a lavender blur back to her treehouse. Well, Twilight's obviously done with her lunch date, time to initiate my surprise. He began making his way to Twilight's library.
__________________________________________
Twilight burst through her front door, That could have gone better. One side of her splitting mind said.
Yeah, like not appearing like a mare in heat? her other said retorted.
At least we didn't blow it.
Good point, a knock on the door broke off her inner ramblings.
She slowly made her way to her door, wondering who sat on the other side this time. Applejack? Twilight sure hoped not, she doubted she could even attempt to hold it together a second time.
Well, here goes, and opened the door and stuck her head out...
And jammed her head into Macintosh's massive chest.
He took a startled step back as he took in her appearance.
Twilight's hair just settled down, her brain settled back into one piece, and her smile grew wider and not lopsided. Just because she saw him.
Seeing her visibly calm down he spoke, "Ah take it the lunch date didn't go as hoped?"
Twilight's cheek reddened, "Let's just say that we're lucky Applejack isn't tanning your hide as we speak. What are the saddle bags for?" she gestured to his laden saddle bags.
"Oh, nothin'. Just your surprise. Did you get the rest of the day off?" he asked.
"Yes!" she shouted excitedly.
"Well, Ah have a little somethin' for you," he handed her the larger box.
"You shouldn't have," she grabbed the offered present.
"Eeyup, I should've a while ago," he said.
"Ohh! What is it!" she asked excitedly.
"You gotta open it, Smartypants."
"Oh, right," she said sheepishly. Twilight placed the present in front of her on the table. He held his breath as she carefully raised the lid.
She drew in a breath of air rapidly, Ah snap he thought.
Twilight stared at the box quietly; with a sudden burst of movement she tackled him. "Thatnkyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!!!!!!!" she yelled in his face.
"Ah take it you like it?" he asked as she kept yelling.
"Are you kidding me!? I love it! Where did you get her?" she held up her Smarty Pants doll in her magic as she nuzzled it affectionately.
"Ah've, uh, had her for a while now," he blushed as he went on. "Ah just figured you'd want it back."
"And you fixed her up! Her mane is brand new, her pelt has been repatched and you changed her stuffing!!" she gently placed Smarty Pants on the table. Twilight managed to calmly walk over to Macintosh and hugged him tightly.
"I love you, Macintosh," she said against his chest.
"And Ah love you too," he said.
He held her tight before releasing her and he asked, "Now, do you want to get the rest of your first surprise?"
Twilight cocked her head at just the right angle that made her look so damn cute! "There's more?" she asked.
He resisted the urge to roll his eyes," Yes," he said exasperatedly; "If you'd actually check the rest of the box..." he left the rest of the sentence unsaid.
Twilight levitated the box back over to her and sat down on the ground. Macintosh sat across from her. She carefully peered inside the box again.
"Huh? Train tickets?" she asked as she levitated two slips of paper out of the box.
"Yes, should say, 'departing at 1:30, today'" he said.
"Where are we going?" she asked, eager for information.
"Your home town, or should I say city? Of Canterlot," Twilight grabbed him in another bone crushing hug.
"What are we waiting for then, let's get going!" she said excitedly.
__________________________________________
The rather colorful train pulled into the Canterlot station to unload the eager passengers.
"Come on, Macky! There's so much I have to show you!" she bounced out of the train car.
"Well, sorry, but there's only one place I want to go," said the workpony.
"Where's that?" said the unicorn, pouting.
"The royal Canterlot library," he said, much to the unicorn’s shock which nearly instantly turned into excitement.
"Really? You'd go there?" he nodded his confirmation.
"Alright then, this way," she said and headed off into the busy streets of Canterlot.
__________________________________________
The loving pair walked side by side through the crowd to arrive in front of a massive building, the doors alone seemed to be bigger than his barn, Macintosh pondered wonderfully.
Twilight walked confidently forward and gently pushed one of the doors open with her magic. Macintosh hurried after her as to not get stuck outside.
The doors led onto a massive circular room, bookshelves lined the walls but only the highlights and 'latest reads' were there. In between each set on bookcases, led into another room. Each one presumably for different genres. In the center sat a circular desk that the librarian sat inside of.
At the sound of the door closing, the librarian looked up and her face alighted with joy as her eyes fell on Twilight.
Ah, good ole Twilight, long time no see," she said friendly.
"Sorry, been out of town. Say, have any of the new volume to Apple Care Supreme?" asked Twilight. The librarian caught sight of Macintosh's cutie mark and didn't bother to ask about who it was for.
"Yes there is, it's in the 'All things Green' section, although you probably already knew that seeing you were the number one person to check those out, constantly," she said teasingly.
Twilight blushed and said her thanks to the librarian before heading of to the presumable 'All things Green' section.
Butterflies started gnawing on the inside of his stomach.
Twilight grabbed a table in the empty room and soon levitated massive books over to it.
Macintosh deliberately ran his hoof down her horn, causing her to lose her focus and old tomes hit the floor.
"Macintosh! What do you think you're doing?" she whispered.
"Remember how Ah said you had multiple surprises coming today?" she nodded in confirmation.
"Well, here's the second one, and brace yourself. It's a doozy," his stomach churned at what she might say. His throat closed of its own accord, making it hard to speak.
"Sure, I doubt it can be that bad. I mean, come on, I've saved Ponyville how many times?" she brushed off his warning.
Macintosh grabbed her shoulders and gently lowered her into a chair. "Trust me," he said.
She sighed in resignation and sat still.
Macintosh dug through his thinning saddle bags and produced to small box.
The massive farm stallion had never felt fear or trepidation before today, and he never wanted to experience them again. He stood in front of Twilight.
In one smooth movement, he lowered his rump down to rest on the stone floor and opened the box slowly. Inside was a beautiful silver ring designed with spectacular flows and designs around a six pointed star burst. And it was intended to fit around onepony's wrist.
"Twilight Sparkle, love of my life and mare of my dreams..." he paused and gathered his quickly fading courage.
"Will you marry me?"
A/N Hey guys, sorry it took me so long to update, and also sorry for the relitively short chapter. This was the first ime i was able to get some alone with my computer (My parents don't know i write, let alone know I'm a Brony).
Kinda serious when i say this but my muse is starting to sing a different tune. Four different tunes to be exact.
So, if you have any ideas, please leave a comment to help jumpstart my brain.
Also, to TheWanderingPikaPony, i have a job offer for you.
For now, i bid you goodbye until the net installment or me and Luar-tic have another write off, which may happen tomorrow.
~Knight Wing out.
If you like it, don't forget to spread the word!
Say 'YES!' Twilight, say it!
1475700 http://i.imgur.com/JdpYT.gif
YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES
Said while hopping
r give Neh more
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so far a damn good story. If you are still looking for foals: Twin filly, unicorn and Earth Pony.
Aurora Golden Gala:
Filly
Unicorn
Light yellow coat
Pink mane and tail (with highlight based off that color)
Pink Lady:
Filly
Earth Pony
pinkish red coat
yellow-green mane and tail
Twi's reaction next chapter
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then
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Story Ideas: she wants to tell her Parents and tell the new news to the Princesses. Mac making a good impression with the parents, Twilight hoping her parents approval will help with her brother - asking when he'll be back. I'm assuming Cadence would be easy to win, if not ecstatic that Twilight has her own special somepony. then the other big news (don't remember if Mac knows it yet or not so I'm gonna re-read and might kick-start more ideas)
1589839 And if I may ask, what situation are you in that being a brony has to be a secret?
I'll admit I was quite nervous about how others would react to me being a fan of My Little Pony FIM but now everyone knows. We just got MLP fabric at the store I work at and my manager instantly wanted to show me, another took a picture of someone asking advice for a Vinyl Scratch yarn doll, an attractive co-worker refers to me as PonyBoy with a smile on her face who encouraged me to go to a pony convention when I was debating yes or no.
Sorry, would've commented earlier, but I was a bit distracted by wanting to play a game right after I finished this earlier. After re-reading again, here's my review:
Well, who can say they didn't say that coming? NOT ME! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png From when I reread the last chapter and paid attention to the conversation between Mac and the Scottish blacksmith pony, I had a strong feeling that he was preparing to pop the question to Twilight (didn't the first time for some reason, though). Though didn't expect it to happen so soon; but hey, your fic, Knight Wing. During my first read-through, thought after the end and/or Twilight giving her answer, would be a good moment for Shining Armor to come in next chapter and overhear them (with them or at least Twilight on inside going "OH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII"), but forgot you said he and his wife were away from the city. But hopefully, Twilight doesn't turn him down, especially considering they'll have something bonding them together for life soon enough.
Anyway, Twilight is just adorkable (something I lightly use) here, way she reacts to the gifts from her special somepony, as well as when Mac does something, ah... suggestive, I think? And interesting place for Mac to propose, but I think it stands to be the best place for Twilight, considering her love for books and for her special somepony. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Twilight_Sparkle_lolface.png
And a job for ME, you say? Is it... proofreading?! Well, wouldn't be averse since have done it somewhat before (whether offered or not), even though I have been known to go overboard a bit sometimes and take my sweet time, even if I can be a fast reader sometimes (not to mention, this is the only story of yours have read thus far, but if it's just for THIS one). Not to mention, having my own stories hope to create, but not in a very frequent writing state atm, so not like that'd be much of a problem. Anyway, am I correct in guessing that's the job? If not something else for you or this fic in question.
Well, hope to hear back from you soon! Not a bad chapter, may've been short as you said, but think it wasn't without moving the plot a little bit ahead and having some nice moments between the two. Did spot some errors, but can discuss those if wanna talk elsewhere about the job in question (like in PM or off-site), but can respond here as well. Don't really have any suggestions for the plot in question, considering that's not entirely my strong point at times. My current idea is Twilight's parents, Cadence, and possibly Celestia being in Mac's favor, though still having Shining Armor being against it when he finds out. But dunno if'd want Twi somehow to let it slip out while they're possibly arguing, that she's pregnant and after some shock and awe wears off, Mac over time starts to win Armor's favor by promising to be there for his mare and their foal(s) and by his actions and such. Anyway, looking forward to the next!
Yay, new chapter. Also, i know how you feel dude, it's hard being a secret Brony, even harder when you're a member of the largest Brony meet up group in the south: The Bronies of South Florida(155 members). Sorry, about the shout out.
That's awesome that Mac finally did what his heart desired!
so...what happens to the cock ring?
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You! Get your mind out of the trenches!
1590592
How'd you guess?
1590219
Just beautiful
1590657 i tried but hes all slippery
1590657
Well, if asking seriously... You're writing a story and you specifically used MY name in an end note of the chapter (rather than a comment), and as far as you know, this is the only site I am on (if you haven't checked my page, do reside on others, but not on them nearly as much as on here these days currently, I'm embarrassed to admit ). So... pretty easy deduction, but for all I know, could've wanted me to draw even though haven't said I was an artist (not that I am, did want to be, but... neither here nor there) or would offer to draw/proofread for just anyone. I guess I'll send you a PM with my info (even though I haven't decided entirely yet, but as I said, if just for this one and not all of your current ongoing stories... I could maybe do future ones as well, if you want), if you'd still want me as one, despite my problems in the past. Even with shorter things, cause of certain conditions that make me slightly more attentive than a normal writer, I believe.
Oh, happy Yay! Good for Twi and Mac. And that was a nice angle as well, having him propose in the library she basically grew up in. Good show!
Minor corrections:
The goddess pulled out Twilight present and peeped inside. = Twilight's
Oh, well, well, well. You certainly are a adventures stallion = an adventurous
she said while waggling your eyebrows. = her
Ah, good ole Twilight, long time no see," she said friendly. = missing opening quote ("Ah), also last word seems awkward; maybe "with familiar friendliness" or something similar.
Macintosh dug through his thinning saddle bags and produced to small box. = a (unless it was "two small boxes")
bid you goodbye until the net = next
YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES
Here is what your answer better be twi:
... Okay, question... if bits are made of gold... Why would he make the ring with some iron in it, and why would it take so many bits to make the rings?
Also, Big Mac, I'm VERY disappoint. I thought you were a gentlecolt! a gentlecolt ALWAYS asks the filly's parents for permission! LUNKHEAD!
biker_dash,one does not simply let one's ipod be used (sorry it was a ipod.not trying to be mean.)= me
Forgot the end quotes.
adventurous............ her eyebrows
a small box
Also finding the paragraph style switching, rather odd.
Yay~!
They're engaged, yay!
...oh, shit. Now they have to tell everypony.