You're still not done, but the end is near. Tiara will rise and end the plight she has had for years, but who will it end with? The first love and her charming red bow; Or the one with the longing in her eyes hidden behind the glasses?
I'm enjoying this story more than I thought I would and I'll definitely read it through to the end. You have some real skill, and the story has good pacing and a very clear direction of movement without appearing too predictable.
FWIW, I don't have any problem at all with the time jumps, but I can understand that some people might: It can be hard to get the hang of, especially if you aren't paying attention.
What's disappointing to me with this story is that there are so many spelling and grammatical errors, poor and plainly incorrect word choices, and confused dialogs (I usually have no problem telling who's speaking, but in this story that confusion happens often), that some careful re-reading and editing would probably take care of. These things could be a lot worse, but what's there remains pretty jarring, and they happen often enough to be frustrating and take me out of the flow of the story too often.
But despite that, this is a good story and told well, and I'm waiting now for your next chapter.
Tears...streaming down my face...so much that it hurts...
2521252
Once again, my work is done.
2521304
You're still not done, but the end is near. Tiara will rise and end the plight she has had for years, but who will it end with? The first love and her charming red bow; Or the one with the longing in her eyes hidden behind the glasses?
I... my feels... I can't feel them... no joy... no sorrow... no anger...
this looks to be ending with a Diamond and Spoon relationship, i hope its Bloom though
I'm enjoying this story more than I thought I would and I'll definitely read it through to the end. You have some real skill, and the story has good pacing and a very clear direction of movement without appearing too predictable.
FWIW, I don't have any problem at all with the time jumps, but I can understand that some people might: It can be hard to get the hang of, especially if you aren't paying attention.
What's disappointing to me with this story is that there are so many spelling and grammatical errors, poor and plainly incorrect word choices, and confused dialogs (I usually have no problem telling who's speaking, but in this story that confusion happens often), that some careful re-reading and editing would probably take care of. These things could be a lot worse, but what's there remains pretty jarring, and they happen often enough to be frustrating and take me out of the flow of the story too often.
But despite that, this is a good story and told well, and I'm waiting now for your next chapter.
2522922
t.qkme.me/3q3rgr.jpg
A wild editor has appeared! Story is done, will be updated shortly. Congratulations on another fic finished