• Member Since 27th Jan, 2021
  • offline last seen Tuesday

TheRayH

Spanish, Brony since 2013 and with a creative story writer (mostly). Favorite pony: Twilight Sparkle; Favorite EG: Sunset Shimmer; Favorite G5 Pony: Izzy Moonbow

TheRayH Joined 27th Jan, 2021 · Offline

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Comments ( 14 )
Charlie_K
Charlie_K #1 · 3 weeks ago · · · Chapter 1: The Foreign and the Murderer ·
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Well this looks interesting so far.

But you need to go through the capitalize all the single i's, they're all in lower case. When they're in the middle of a word it's one thing, but when they're standing off by themselves it's a whole different matter.

TheRayH
TheRayH #2 · 3 weeks ago · · · Chapter 1: The Foreign and the Murderer ·
Reply

11902847
Ok then, i'll fix all of it ASAP.

I'm looking forward to make this story enjoyable

Lord Shadow Eclipse
Lord Shadow Eclipse #3 · 3 weeks ago · · · Chapter 2: Where's the Blood? ·
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A LoL story featuring my favorite character from LoL and one of my own champions? I love this immediately!

TheRayH
TheRayH #4 · 3 weeks ago · · · Chapter 2: Where's the Blood? ·
Reply

11903676
It's impossible to hate Briar, she's a sweet champ and as fun fact, My Birthday is the same as her release date so i do like her more. I hope i do give her a story up to her character in LoL

OP Omni God-Emperor Doom
OP Omni God-Emperor Doom #5 · 3 weeks ago · · · Chapter 2: Where's the Blood? ·
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I never played LoL nor know every single Champion Character, but I can see that Briar is like a vampire lady.

Quick Clarification: Briar is not a vampire in terms of what we know as a vampire; she's more of a Ghoul; she would only have diference to walk on it or be annoyed by it, as it would have been limitating, Briar will be able to be on the sunlight.

Oh, but she's still blood thirsty.

TheRayH
TheRayH #7 · 3 weeks ago · · · Chapter 2: Where's the Blood? ·
Reply

11903747
Time for the quick lore recap:
Briar was not natural born, she was created with Hemomancy (the magic of blood) with the purpose of serving on wars for Noxus; but she was a little bit wilder when blood was part of the feast as she tended to devour (and also cut) her enemies and in consequence allies. She got imprisoned with the pillory and during her stance she learn to control her hunger with the pillory.

But there are things that aren't clear at all one of them being the fact if she's actually a full vampire, so with all the doubts and holes on what she actually is, i can have some liberties on the story. Besides that, i hope you enjoy!

OP Omni God-Emperor Doom
OP Omni God-Emperor Doom #8 · 3 weeks ago · · · Chapter 2: Where's the Blood? ·
Reply

11903761

So more like Sakrlet from Mortal Kombat?

I just hope named character ponies don't get bloody killed as well.

TheRayH
TheRayH #9 · 3 weeks ago · · · Chapter 2: Where's the Blood? ·
Reply

11903769
She's a little weird to explain; but it's a champion that i personally like a lot due to multiple facts. In terms of story, you'll still have to read the chapters as they come to see what that blood thirsty champ can do

Lord Shadow Eclipse
Lord Shadow Eclipse #10 · 3 weeks ago · · · Chapter 2: Where's the Blood? ·
Reply

11903688
I love using Briar in my LoL games, though one of my friends gets pissy whenever I use her against him. It's hilarious really.

OP Omni God-Emperor Doom
OP Omni God-Emperor Doom #12 · 2 weeks ago · · · Chapter 3: All Sorts of Feasts ·
Reply

The pillory broke into pieces and then they made a strong noise in the floor underneath them, Briar's arms were free to do whatever she wanted, but there was something odd... really odd. Briar opened her eyes and saw her arms falling aside of her wide hips but there was no urge for eating blood at all or to run around as she tend to do while at her home, for the first time in a long time she really had control on what she was going to do and not go crazy over blood, there was one thing she wanted to do but that the pillory and her frenzy for blood never allowed her to do, meanwhile Fluttershy was looking at everything from high up.

"I CAN CHOOSE!" She said screaming while starting to take a run around the plain, her smile has never been that wide before, not even when she went into her frenzy earlier times, she kept running around feeling the fresh grass on her feet and taking bites on a few flowers to taste the honey. "So this is what freedom feels like? I ean, i did liked to have the pillory... it was like a nice accesory but now... i can do even more without needing to kill..."

Are you really sure about that, Briar. :ajbemused:

Because eventually, you're going to learn about these murders too, and connect the dots. :unsuresweetie:

"Uhm... Briar... is something meant to happen?" She asked from above looking at the pale woman standing on the floor; then she saw how Briar moved her hands slowly towards her chest, a chest that was not flat but also not too busty; a perfect balance, Briar squeezed her breasts before laughing in a *maniac* way. "Briar?"

But I was a bit pervy all of a sudden? :rainbowderp: :twilightblush:

"EARS... THEY'RE LIKE GUM!" It said, when looked back the mare could see her left ear was being munched by the creature, a female looking creature, who's expression just went a little more aggresive, the mare wished to run but her hooves couldn't move she saw how the creature jumped again and felt again something else this time on top of her head, she tried to stand but as she moved the top of her head fell down to the ground with a splash of blood hitting her hooves, part of her brain was cut off, enough to keep her sentient but there was no pain, she couldn't feel it propperly. "NOW THIS IS THE MAIN FEAST!" The creature said before pushing the tongue against the brain of the mare.

"N-no... pain... i'm...blargh..." the mare vomited gallons blood, as she feels that foreing tongue invading her braind, standing becomes a harder task as well keeping her eyes straight or able to see, until suddenly a big bite ripped part of the brain of the mare who without any control peed on the floor underneath her and blood flooded her face, a second bite came in and then the mare couldn't stand up anymore and her body obviously couldn't live anymore.

"UGH... YOU PREYS DON'T GIVE ME ANY FIGHT AT ALL!" She complained while still swallowing parts of the brain of the mare, she doesn't want anything else but the blood, but the excitement of killing makes her want more, but she's not dumb; if she killed too much then soon she would have run out of food by the morning. "NO FIGHT... BUT STILL THEY HAVE GLORIOUS BLOOD!" Claimed before going on all fours to drink from the big puddles of blood that the mare left, the feast she wanted to have and that she won't be ever saying no to.

See what I freaking mean! :twilightoops:

The next morning, back at Twilight's castle, this time; the princess of friendship go a visit from the mayor again but this time came along with a hospital gurney. They took the gurney all the way to the main library and the they removed the blanket covering the dead body of a mare that got her left ear ripped, the top of her head off and her brain eaten completely as there were only a few leftovers inside the skull.

"This creature is trully going to pay for this"

Welp, you are in BIG Trouble. :twilightangry2:

OP Omni God-Emperor Doom
OP Omni God-Emperor Doom #13 · 2 weeks ago · · · Chapter 2: Where's the Blood? ·
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I should have said something about this "issue" I'm seeing!?

"Is there another one?" She got an affirmative nod and the policeponies pointed upstairs towards the main room; as she walked in she saw the body of the mare, lying on the ground with a very transparent liquid underneath her, the head completely cut off and the rib cage open with the absent of a heart, with her magic she picked up the stallion's cock that was lying in front of the dead mare.

"I did told you that this is horrific... even more after seeing how that... that..." Mayor Mare's words couldn't get out of her mouth at all.

"Penis?" Twilight said, the mayor did a small jump where she was, like completely alarmed by the word Twilight just said. "Mayor... you really are going to act like that towards a word of anathomy before checking on important detail that is completely non-existant?" Mayor Mare did not saw anything worth mentionin that it was lost. "Where's the blood?" Twilight had a point, the was no sight of any blood at all, just other body fluids such as the mare's orgasm juices and her saliva or the stallion's cum that couldn't be kept inside his balls at all.

"Wait... do you say that something killed them just to drink their blood?" She got a nod from Twilight. "But why killing a couple that was... uhm... doing..."

"Sex?" Again the mayor did a little hop on where she was standing. "Mayor, the answer to the why si simple" She said while waggling around the stallion's penis that moved as it was a rubber toy. "When copulating, the blood stream is higher as the body needs to make all the blood go around the body, to keep the energy. That means that they were actually a perfect meal for our murderer"

"Do you have a clue of what creature can do such thing?"

Twiligh sighed. "I'm sorry, Mayor, my knowledge doesn't know about what creature could do that at all" When twlight looked around, she found the head of the mare; it rolled all the way down to the bed, it had a cold expression, surprise if she may say with her eyes rolled up... but lifeless, a trully hard thing to stare at. Twilight had no clues on who the guilty is and how cold blooded it had to be to clean all the blood from two innocent ponies.

Like WTH, Twilight!!!???

Why are you so desensitized!? Like, this is probably the FIRST freaking murder that you have ever seen in your life.

And what you're doing is demoralizing that poor guy's/stallion's own penis!? What the actual F**K is wrong with you!!??

Feels a bit OOC coming from a Princess of "Friendship"!?

Your friends, parents, brother, sister-in-law, and even your former mentor will be totally disgusted if they see you act like this?

TheRayH
TheRayH #14 · 2 weeks ago · · · Chapter 2: Where's the Blood? ·
Reply

11910155
I have something planned for Twilight's attitude; it is OOC for the princess of friendship yes... but all has a explanation soon or late

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